Bathed in Black
Title: Changing Destiny
Penname: FigSk8ingAngel
Rating: T/PG-13
Paring: Jacob and Leah aka "Blackwater"
Disclaimer: All Twilight characters, settings, ect. are property of Stephenie Meyer. All original characters, settings, ect. are property of the author. The author is in no way associated to Stephenie Meyer or the Twilight franchise. No copyright infringement intended.
AN: This is my entry for the Bathed in Black Contest. The story picks up right after Chapter 16 of Breaking Dawn(TMI Alert). To set the scene in case it has been awhile since you read it, or are only following the movies, Jacob has just witnessed Edward "hearing" Renesmee for the first time. Jacob suddenly feels very betrayed and gets upset. Edward then throws Jacob the keys to his Aston Martin and Jacob takes off to "blow off steam". While he is gone Leah confronts Bella about what she is doing to Jacob. This is not shown in BD but I decided to show everyone my idea of what Edward later describes as Jacob being "vehemently championed" by Leah.
Betaed by kaghanyou and octoberland13. Thank you so much for your help ladies! :-) Banners are posted on my profile.
This story is dedicated to my wonderful Beta for my WIP Already Gone(check it out...you know you want to ;-p) justaskalice. She inspired me to give Blackwater a chance, and showed me that Jacob CAN have a Happily Ever After without Renesmee in the picture. THANK YOU SO MUCH! :-)
Changing Destiny
Leah watched Jacob drive away in the bloodsucker's expensive car, and at that moment, she decided she had enough. The look on his face said it all, he was hurting again. She wanted to take all his pain away, but that wasn't possible; at least not while Bella was still in the picture.
She knew what she had to do. Get Jake away from there; away from that girl. She knew from personal experience, sometimes all it took was distance. Sam had hurt her badly, and left her broken. Now, thanks to the escape offered by Jake, she had finally begun to heal. She knew the same could be true for him.
At that point the solution became obvious. She needed to get Jake to run away with her, but first she had some business to deal with. She was finally going to give that leech lover a piece of her mind.
Leah turned toward the house and marched straight in without even knocking. She cringed as the smell hit her, but she didn't let it stop her. Edward would be reading her thoughts by now so she sent a mental message out to him.
"I dare you to try and stop me!"
Leah went through the kitchen without running into anyone. Half of the bloodsucker family was out hunting, so it wasn't a surprise.
Only Edward and Bella were in the living room; the blonde leech had momentarily disappeared. That was a good thing since she had become one of the most protective around Bella. It was going to be bad enough that Leah had to deal with Edward.
"Leah? I didn't expect to see you. Is everything okay?" Bella asked sitting up straighter.
"No, everything's NOT okay. And frankly it's you that is making it that way." Leah paused and looked toward Edward. She wanted to make sure he wasn't going to kill her. When it appeared he was going to stay put, she continued.
"I'm sick of you treating Jake like a toy that you can just play with whenever you feel the need. He's has feelings too. Can't you see what you're doing to him?"
Tears started to well up in Bella's eyes. This made Leah happy. She wanted her to feel some of the pain she was causing Jake to feel.
"You're killing him, Bella. Every time you lead him into thinking that he has a chance, then drop him again, his heart breaks a little more. You're like a drug to him; one that he can't quit. And even if he tried, you just give him another hit, and he is right back to square one. He deserves so much better!"
By this point. Bella was near hysterics, but Leah was far from done.
"I know what it feels like to have to watch the one person you love more than anything in the world fall for someone else. Thank God, I finally got freedom from it! Jake deserves the same freedom. Unfortunately, you are the only one that can give that to him, and it's apparent from your actions, you don't feel the need to do that. Instead, you continue to hold on to him, for your own selfish need, and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of seeing one of my best friends go through hell for you."
"Leah! That's enough!" Edward snapped. He had reached his breaking point.
Leah glared at him and then back at Bella.
"You need to let him go, Bella. It's either that or watch him die…and his blood will be on your hands."
"I said ENOUGH, Leah!" Edward moved towards her. He was definitely angry now.
"I'm done! Just remember what I said." With that said, Leah turned and fled the house.
Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough. Edward caught up to her at the edge of the yard, and stopped her before she could phase.
"What the hell was that Leah?"
She flipped around and glared at him. "That was me telling your lovely little wife exactly what she needed to hear. She needs to know what she is doing to Jake. I'm sick of everyone pretending that because she is pregnant that she can do no wrong, when in reality what she is doing is the furthest thing from right. She's using him, and I've had enough. Jake never did anything to deserve this. He has done nothing but help her from the very beginning. He deserves so much more than she will ever give him, and I wanted to make sure she knew it."
For once, it seemed the bloodsucker had been rendered speechless. Leah used this to her advantage and ran for the forest and phased before he could even react. As she ran she mentally filled him in on the rest if her plan.
"I can't see him like this anymore. It's killing me to watch him go through hell. When Jake gets back, I'm asking him to leave with me. And don't you dare try to stop me. We both know this is for the better."
It had been about an hour since Jake left. Leah ran towards the road that lead to the Cullen's house. She wanted to stop Jake before he got back to the house, so that he didn't have a chance to say goodbye. She felt a little heartless, but she knew he would never be able to leave if he went in to say goodbye. She found a good spot by the side of the road and waited.
She didn't have to wait long. About five minutes later she heard the car coming around the corner. She knew it was him; nothing could be mistaken for the hum of a car that fancy. She paced out to the middle of the road and positioned herself so that Jake would see her and stop, but also made sure she had a good escape plan just incase he didn't. A moment later, the car came around the corner and screeched to a halt.
Jake was surprised to see Leah standing in the middle of the road when he came around the corner. For once he was very thankful for his wolf reflexes. He jumped out of the car and approached the grey wolf.
"Leah! What the hell? I could have killed you if I wasn't paying attention, or if I was going any faster. Are you crazy?"
Leah howled an acknowledgment to him and gave him a look that said "stay put" before she ran back into the forest to phase back into her human form. Jake was leaning on the front of the car when she returned.
"So are you going to explain what the heck you were just doing?" Jake was still confused as to why Leah was in the middle of the road.
Leah got straight to the point. "Jake, I want you to run away with me…tonight."
Jake was shocked by Leah's answer. "Okay…want to explain where that came from?"
Leah knew she had to be honest in order to convince Jake that this was a good idea. She hoped it came across clear, and didn't seem like she was just being a "Bella basher."
"Well…I've been thinking about what you said earlier when we were hunting. About getting away, and how it's not going to be easy once Bella is changed. So, why wait for that? Why not leave now, while she's still alive…it will still hurt, but it won't tear you apart like it will when she's changed."
Jake listened to what Leah had to say and took it all into consideration. All she was saying was true. It would be much easier to leave now, and know that, at least for the time being, Bella was alive. But he didn't really care about his own feelings anymore. His heart had been shattered by Bella long ago. All he cared about now, was making sure she was okay. After all, that's why he left Sam's pack to begin with. Plus, no one knew what that thing inside Bella was going to do to her. If he left now, who would protect her from it? Not Edward, not anymore anyway. Before he left that afternoon it had become apparent that even Edward had fallen under the spell of the unborn child that was steadily growing within Bella. For some reason he doubted Leah would see it his way, but he tried to explain it to her anyway.
"Leah, I can't just leave Bella. She needs me now more than ever. It's not just about me anymore, it's about her and her welfare. There is absolutely nothing I can do at this point to stop things from happening. Bella is going to have that baby, and then, if it doesn't kill her first, she is going to become one of them. I'll have to deal with that when it comes. For now, I need to be a true friend to her and stick by her side. I'm not leaving her unprotected. I know she would do the same for me."
Leah couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was Jake really that delusional? Did he really think that Bella cared about anyone but herself and that leech that she loved so much? She needed him to see the truth of what was going on.
"All you're doing is playing into her game, Jake! She's got you so tightly wound in her web that you can't see the truth. It's killing you, she's killing you, and she doesn't care! She's only using you for her own benefit, and the minute she doesn't need you anymore you'll become nothing to her. Just like when Edward came back last spring, and again in June, when she agreed to marry that Bloodsucker after she told you she loved you. Don't you see, Jacob? You don't matter to her, and you never will. Because you can't give her what she wants, he can."
This time there was no denying it. Jacob knew where he really stood in Bella's life, he would always come second, and once the baby was born, he would probably loose another notch.
"Look Jake, if it makes you feel better about the whole thing, I talked to Seth earlier. He promised to stay until Bella has the baby, and he won't let anything happen to her, I promise. Please Jake, for your own good, please, just leave with me. I can't watch you go through this hurt anymore, Jake, and I know you don't want to feel it anymore. Take it from me, sometimes time and distance is all you need."
Jake opened his mouth to argue again, but stopped short of saying anything. He knew that eventually, even if he stayed, the pain was coming. Maybe it was better to just get it over with. He didn't have another good excuse or reason to stay.
"Are you sure you're ready to deal with this Leah? I already warned you that I am going to be a horrible person to be around. I don't want you to have to deal with all my pain, while still trying to heal from your own."
Leah was touched by the fact that Jake cared about her feelings. She didn't feel like she deserved that kind of respect, after all she had put Jake through in the last few years. She felt the least she could do is promise to be there for him too.
"I'm sure Jake. I won't let you go through this alone, I'm going to be there for you every step of the way."
Jake thought it over for a few more seconds before me made his decision. "Okay...I'll go. Just let me return the car and say goodbye."
Leah stopped him before he could get back in the car.
"Seth will make sure the car gets to Edward. Let's just go…" She grabbed his hand and led him towards the woods.
When they reached the edge of the forest, they both stripped down and phased.
Jake kept his mind blank; he didn't want Leah to see how much he was really hurting.
Leah couldn't help the giddy feeling that came over her. She was excited that they were both finally going to be free. And she was excited that they were doing it together.
As they ran, neither of the two wolves said anything. Jake's emotions were all over the map, but he refused to verbalize any of them, even in thought. The further they ran the more it became apparent, he was never going back, he would never see Bella again. It really was the end.
Part of him felt like it was a good thing. It gave him the clean break he had always wanted. The other part of him was dying. He always knew this day would come but he never imagined how hard it would be. His heart felt like it had been ripped in two, but he wasn't going to let Leah see how bad it really was. He was going to stay strong.
After almost two more hours of silence, Leah finally spoke up.
"Jake…I know this isn't easy for you. You have got to be hurting a lot, and I just want you to know that it's okay to let it out. I've been there too, with Sam. I won't judge you for it if that's what you're afraid of."
Jake still wasn't willing to budge. "I'm not afraid of anything, Leah…and I don't have anything to let out. Like I told you earlier, I came to grips with reality. Nothing I could have done would have changed anything."
Leah could see right through Jake's lies. He was obviously in denial. Step one of seven…she just wondered how much longer it would take him to get to the pain and anger stage. That was going to be the fun one to go through in his head.
"Whatever you say Jake, but when you're ready I'm here." She knew eventually he would break, and when he did she was going to be the shoulder for him to cry on.
About an hour later they came into a clearing and Jake slowed down and looked back at Leah. "This looks like a good spot to camp for the night. Why don't you get some sleep, you have been running practically all day. I'll try to find us some food."
Leah was afraid to leave Jake alone in his thoughts, because she wasn't sure how much longer his "I don't care" attitude was going to last. But the truth was she was pretty exhausted.
"I'll just rest for a bit…I don't think I'll be able to sleep though, so holler if you need help hunting."
Leah curled up under the nearest tree and closed her eyes. Before she could stop herself she was asleep…and dreaming…
She and Sam were on the couch in the middle of Sam's living room indulging in one of their all too common hot and heavy make out sessions. He leaned over and whispered I love you into her ear and told her he would never leave her. She felt so happy and content in his arms. Then Sam abruptly got up from his seat on the couch and knelt in front of her. Her heartbeat raced as he pulled a small velvet box from the front pocket of his jeans. But before he could actually get the words out, and ask her to be his forever Emily appeared in the corner of the room. When she turned back to Sam, he was no longer the man she loved; he was the giant black wolf that haunted her memories. The wolf paced over to Emily and she began to stroke his head and then wrapped her arms around his massive neck. Emily leaned over to kiss the top of the wolf's muzzle, and as she did the wolf faded away and Sam appeared again. Their lips met in a tender kiss. Leah called out Sam's name but he wouldn't even acknowledge that she was there. A moment later he again was on his knee, this time in front of Emily. He pulled out the ring that a few moments earlier was destined to go on to her finger and instead slid it on Emily's. He stood and embraced Emily, lifting her feet off the ground and spinning her around. Leah screamed out Sam's name again and she felt the tears began to fall. This time it got not only his attention, but Emily's as well. Emily turned and began to walk towards her. Emily told her that Sam loved her more and that she meant nothing to him. All at once the scene changed, they were no longer in the living room, they were on the edge of the cliffs at La Push. Emily continued to come towards her, even though there were only mere inches between the edge of cliff and her. Leah could feel the spray of the ocean as it hit the side of the cliffs. Once Emily reached her, she looked Leah in the eye and told her that Sam belonged to her and then pushed Leah over the edge of the cliff. Sam stood behind her and did nothing. Leah began to scream as she fell, and felt her heart shatter in a million pieces.
She continued to scream and waited for the cold that would let her know she had hit the water. But the cold never came. Instead she felt a pair of strong and warm arms wrap around her and pull her into their chest. She looked up to see who her savior was and found Jake's face only inches from her own. Her heart began to race again, this time even faster than it did when she was with Sam. Jake locked eyes with her and without saying a single word lowered his lips to her own. It was the sweetest kiss she had ever experienced. As they broke away from each other he told her that he loved her. She felt whole again.
Jake hadn't gotten very far into the woods when what he thought was one of Leah's memories filled his mind. At first he didn't understand the point, he didn't know why she was showing him this. When Emily came into the picture he thought he got it. Leah was trying to show him that she could relate. He decided to stop her before she got any further. Showing him her painful memories was not going to help either of them.
"Leah, enough! I told you, I'm fine. You're only going to make yourself more upset by reliving this."
Leah's memory didn't stop. Jake was going to try again, but then he realized Leah wasn't showing him a memory; it was a dream. A dream that was now staring him.
Jake watched as his dream self kissed Leah and told her he loved her. He wasn't sure what to do. Leah had never expressed feelings like this before, was it only in her subconscious? Or had it always been there, and she had just never shown it? Part of him wanted her to continue to dream, so he could see where this was going. The other part of him was ready for her to wake up, so he didn't have to deal with the confusion along with the pain he already had inside. Then the screaming started again.
The only difference was this time the screaming wasn't coming from Leah's dream. Leah must have heard it too, she jumped to her feet and looked wildly around the clearing. When she looked towards where Jake was standing, their eyes locked. Jake could tell just by looking at her, she knew he had seen the dream. Before anything could be said about it, another scream broke out. Jake and Leah both searched the clearing for the source.
"Jake? Leah? Can you hear me?" It was only when Seth's voice broke through the mind link that Jake realized the source of the screaming was not in the clearing. It was where ever Seth was, and they were hearing it because he was thinking about it.
Flashes of Seth's memories began to come through the mind link along with each scream. It was obvious to Jake he was trying to hold them back. Probably because they all involved Bella, she was the one screaming. The pain in Jake's chest flared to life again.
Leah finally asked the question that was on both of their minds. "We can hear you Seth…what the hell is going on over there?"
"It's Bella…there were some complications, and the baby is coming. Edward and Rosalie are taking care of her now, and the baby is going to be fine, but she isn't doing great." More flashes of Bella…that thing they were calling a baby was killing her. It was literally eating its way out of Bella's abdomen, and all Jake could do was watch. He didn't understand why no one was doing anything to stop it. Why wasn't anyone trying to save her? He knew what he would do if he was there. It would take every vampire in the room to hold him back. He would kill that thing before it killed Bella.
Seth's voice broke Jake's train of thought. "Jake…I don't know how to put this lightly, and frankly we don't have a lot of time, so I'm going to be blunt. Bella is going to die if Edward doesn't change her. It's her only chance of surviving. But he wants your permission to do it."
Jake didn't understand what he had to do with anything. It was hard enough for him to know that the one love of his life was dying. He wasn't going to be held responsible for turning her into a monster as well.
"What? Why me? Sam is Alpha, not me…it's his decision to let the Cullens break the treaty." Jake's voice shook like it was on the edge of breaking. He wasn't going to be able to hold back his emotions for much longer. He was sure Leah could sense it too.
"No, Jake, as Ephraim Black's heir you are the true Alpha. The Cullens made the treaty with your ancestors, not Sam's, and that means you are the only one that can give Edward permission to break it. Either way he is going to do it, but with your permission they won't have to battle the pack." Seth flashed them a memory of Edward and him discussing this very topic minutes earlier.
Jake battled internally with his decision. Bella's life was literally in his hands. If he said yes, she would become immortal, and it would indirectly be his doing. If he said no, Edward would change her anyway. Then there would be a strong possibility that Sam's pack would start a war that would only end when all of the vampires, including Bella, were dead. Jake decided he would rather have Bella become one of them than lose her all together. Although he wasn't positive he hadn't lost her already.
"Fine...tell him he has my permission. He can change her. But make sure he knows this isn't for his benefit. I am only telling him yes, because this is the only way to keep her alive, if that's even what she'll be anymore."
Seth let out a long howl and Edward appeared next to him seconds later. Jake could see through Seth's vision that Edward's hands were covered in blood; Bella's blood. The sight made him shudder. It was taking every ounce of strength he had left not to loose it. He watched as Seth replayed their entire conversation to Edward through his mind. Seeing it the second time made everything hit home for him. This was it; he was losing Bella for real this time. There would be no going back after she was turned. No more second chances to fall for him instead of Edward. Jake's pain hit a new level, he started to wonder if he could die of a broken heart.
Leah stood a short distance away, and could feel Jake's tension in the mind link. She stepped closer to where he stood. She wanted to make sure she was ready when the breakdown finally came, and she was convinced it was coming soon. Jake's pain was becoming more and more obvious. She only hoped the mind raping bloodsucker could feel Jake's heart breaking as much as she could. It would only be right to give him a taste of what he was dishing out.
Leah wanted nothing more than to comfort Jake. She knew how it felt to loose the one person you loved more than anything. It had nearly killed her to lose Sam. It was only recently, that her own pain had started to fade. When she joined Jake's pack she finally got her freedom from Sam, and with freedom came the healing she needed. The part she didn't see coming was that as the pain left by Sam disappeared, something else took its place. Somewhere in the craziness of it all, she had started falling for Jake. She wasn't sure when it had happened. Her feelings had become obvious to her after their hunting trip the previous day, but she was sure they had been there before that. She and Jake had only been apart from Sam's pack for a few days, which was not nearly long enough to have feelings as strong as she was having. Her earlier dream brought her to a conclusion on the issue. Her feelings had been floating around her subconscious for awhile, but her obsession with Sam had never allowed them to surface. Now with Sam out of the picture and her heart on the mend, the subconscious had begun to become reality. No matter how hard she tried to deny it, and say to herself that they were only friends, the truth was she was falling in love with Jake.
She hoped the same thing could happen for Jake; that he would find someone to help him heal from his loss of Bella, and move on with his life. It didn't need to be her, although secretly she hoped it would be. At this point she didn't even know where things stood between her and Jake. She knew he had seen her dream, but they had been interrupted by Seth before they could talk about it. And with things as tense as they were she didn't think now would be the time to bring it up.
"I think the screaming stopped. I need to get going, they might need my help." Seth's voice brought everyone's attention back to what was happening at the Cullen Mansion.
"Seth, wait!" Jake's voice broke through seconds before Seth disappeared. "I…I need to know. How long….does she have?"
Jake could barely get the words out, but he had to know how much time he had left. His plan was to be as far away as possible when Bella woke up.
Seth didn't even hesitate with his answer. "Three days Jake…she's got three days then it's over, and she will be one of them. That is if she survives giving birth. Edward can't save her if she dies before the venom is in her system."
Jake was not ready to hear that answer. His legs buckled and he collapsed to the ground.
"Jake! Are you okay?" Leah ran to his side and tried to help him up.
"I'm fine, Leah! And I DON'T need your help, so STOP trying!" Leah stopped dead in her tracks. Jake hated using the Alpha command on her, but he also wasn't ready to surrender to her yet.
Inside Jake's heart shattered, and it hurt more than anything he had ever experienced. He could hardly breathe. But he wasn't ready to let anyone else, and especially Leah, see how he really felt. He had to at least appear strong for just a while longer. Once he got rid of Leah, then he could breakdown. He didn't think it would be that difficult of a task. He knew how much Leah hated the life of a wolf. There would be no way that she would agree to remain a wolf forever, which is exactly what he planned on doing. It was the only way ho thought he could make the pain go away, to loose himself to his wolf self forever.
Jake picked himself up off the ground and shook off.
"Seth, tell the Cullens they have 24 hours after the transition is complete to clear out. Until that point, keep your eye out for Sam. If he tries anything get him to phase so he can hear you, and let him know the old treaty is no longer valid. If I really am the true Alpha, even he will be forced to honor the new treaty. The Cullens will be safe, for now. However, after the transition is complete I will have no way to stop them. They won't hesitate to attack. They must leave. Once they're gone I want you to rejoin Sam's pack. That's an order, Seth!" Jake was in full Alpha mode now. He knew it was the only way to stop Seth form trying to follow. It was impossible for Seth to disobey his command.
"Aw….Come on Jake! Why does Leah get to stay?" Seth was begging.
"We've been over this already, Seth. The only reason I'm letting Leah stay is because it would be absolutely cruel to force her back into a situation where she had to live with Sam. Once this conversation is over, I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back. Chances are I'll probably run as a wolf for the rest of my life, and my mind is not going to be a pretty place. If your sister is ready for a life like that it's her choice, but I'm not willing to expose you to a life like that." Jake looked towards Leah as he spoke the last part. This was her warning too.
"Alright…you win. I don't need to hear the whole "you have a life to live" speech again." Seth turned to head for the trees to phase.
"Seth? I need to ask you one more thing. Unless you absolutely have to, please don't phase back until you have switched to Sam's pack. I…I don't think…No, I can't handle seeing Bella once she is changed. And if she doesn't make it…well I know I can't handle that." Jake's voice was much softer now. This was a request, not a command.
"I understand, Jake, and for what it's worth I'm sorry it had to happen like this. I know you're hurting a lot right now, but with time, if you allow it, you will heal. Take my advice and try to move on. There is a whole new future in front of you, so don't look back." Seth's final speech was as much for Leah as it was Jake. He had heard his father tell Leah the same thing the night Sam broke her heart. It would be a good reminder for her as well.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye then. Stay in touch! I love you both!" There was a sadness in Seth's voice.
"Thanks Seth! I love you too little bro." Leah felt the tears start to run down her muzzle. She loved her little brother and was going to miss him a lot.
"Bye, Seth! And thank you!" Jake was going to miss having Seth as his sidekick, but he knew it was for the better that he stayed put in La Push.
After one last howl from all three wolves, Seth phased and was gone from their thoughts.
For a brief moment the world was silent, neither wolf in the clearing said anything. They were both trying to collect their thoughts before speaking to each other. Jake was the first to speak up.
"Leah…I'm sorry for being so harsh on you a minute ago. I know you were just trying to help. I was just shocked by what Seth said. I never thought of the possibility that Bella might not….that she might…die. Not that it matters now, either way I'm losing her." His voice was shaking. He wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to hold everything back.
"Jake, it's okay to let go. I know you don't believe me, but I've been through this before with Sam. Sometimes the best thing to do is just let it out." Jake knew this was just Leah trying to help again, but there was no way that she could compare losing Sam to what he was going through now. His anger flared again.
"NO, you haven't been through this, Leah. Sam is still alive! Bella, even if she does survive, will be dead. You can't relate, so stop pretending that you can!"
Leah took a deep breath and gave Jake a moment to calm down. She knew that this whole anger thing was just part of Jake's grieving process. She didn't want to fight him about it.
"Your right, Sam is still alive, and I haven't had to deal with that aspect of things. But I have had to deal with a broken heart, and the pain that goes with it. I know what it feels like to loose someone you love. You can deny it all you want, Jake, but I can feel it. You're trying to block me out, and tell me it's all okay, but I know the truth. Eventually the pain is going to catch up with you, and you're going to break. And when that happens, I just want you to know that I'm going to be there for you. Even if you don't ask for it, you're getting my help, so just get used to it. I'm not going anywhere, Jake, you're stuck with me now."
Leah's speech was all it took; Jake finally broke. Without saying a word he ran for the trees and phased back to his human form. He normally wouldn't even care to pull on the shorts he had tied to his leg, but he knew Leah wouldn't be far behind him and he didn't want her to find him both naked and crying. As it was his emotions were already taking over and the tears he has been holding back all night were beginning to fall down his cheeks. He barely had the strength to pull his shorts on before he collapsed to his knees and let the tears flow freely.
Leah gave Jake a couple seconds head start before she phased back into her human form. She quickly pulled on the clothes she had brought with her and followed Jake into the forest.
What she found broke her heart. Jake was collapsed on the ground, sobbing. The pain had finally set in, there was no hiding it now. This was the breakdown she had been expecting all day. She quietly approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder to let him know she was there. He jumped slightly, and looked up at her with tears streaming down his face. She had never seen him this broken.
Leah felt helpless just standing there; she had to comfort him somehow. She didn't know what else to do so, she fell down at his side and wrapped her arms around him. It felt so right, just sitting there with her arms around him, helping him in his greatest time of need. She secretly wished that this feeling could last forever.
Slowly the sobs subsided. When Jake felt he was finally able to speak again, he pulled away, and looked up into Leah's eyes. He didn't know how he had any tears left, but he could feel they were still rolling steadily down his cheeks. He took a deep breath; there was something he needed to say. He just hoped Leah could understand his choppy sentences.
"Thanks, Leah…I'm sorry…you had to see me…like this. You didn't…didn't have to… to do that…"
Leah rolled her eyes, and interrupted Jake before he could finish. "Jake, shut-up! I already told you I was going to be there for you. I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here as long as you need me. You can't get rid of me that easily."
Jake took another deep breath before continuing. "Thanks again Leah…I…I think I'm going to be okay now. I just…I need sleep. This day has really taken it out of me."
Leah simply nodded in reply. She had done her part to comfort him, now he just needed time to heal. "Okay, Jake, that's fine. I'm going to head back to the clearing, you can join me when you're ready. I won't be far, just holler if you need me." She got up and started walking towards the clearing.
"Leah, wait!" Jake called out to her and waited for her to turn around before continuing. "Leah, if you don't mind…I think I would rather sleep in human form tonight. It's not too cold, so I should be fine. If you want, feel free to phase, I don't want you to think that you have to stay human because I am."
The truth was Jake was afraid of what Leah might see in his mind if he phased. He didn't want to submit her to any more of his pain than he had already forced upon her. He was also a little worried about dreams. Leah's dream from earlier still hung in the back of his mind. He had enough to deal with, he didn't want to risk seeing more of the same thing. He knew he still needed to talk to Leah about where things stood with them, but he wanted to take one thing at a time. If he made it through the next three days, then he would broach the subject with her. Until then, his primary concern was not letting the pain of losing Bella kill him.
Leah knew Jake just wanted his space, but she wasn't convinced being alone in anything would be good for him. If he was staying human, so was she.
"That's fine, I'll try to find a comfortable place for us both. I'll leave you alone for a bit; let you collect your thoughts. When you're ready come join me in the clearing."
With that Leah turned and headed for the clearing.
Jake didn't take too long to pull it together. He didn't want Leah to worry about him. Once he got to the point where he was fairly sure the tears were over, and he could attempt to sleep he pulled himself off the ground and walked back to the clearing.
He approached the far side and found Leah already fast asleep on a bed of pine needles. She had left enough room for him next to her. She looked so peaceful, curled almost into a fetal position on her side. He only hoped her dreams were as peaceful as the look on her face. He knew for sure his would not be.
Jake lay down next to Leah and closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to overcome him. It didn't take long, he was both mentally and physically exhausted. The last thing he remembered before the world went dark was a pair of warm arms embracing him and Leah's soft voice whispering that it was all going to be okay.
When Jake woke up the next morning he was hoping the night before had all just been a bad dream. When he rolled over and found himself face to face with Leah Clearwater he knew it wasn't.
Leah was still asleep and he didn't want to wake her yet. He had a lot to think about and get sorted out in his mind before they were both wolves again. He quietly and carefully got up and stretched his stiff muscles. He was pretty hungry since it had been almost 24 hours since he had last eaten anything, so he decided to go hunting. Leah would probably be hungry when she woke up too.
Jake scratched a quick note in the dirt incase Leah woke up while he was gone and headed into the woods. Once he stripped down he let the inner wolf take over and soon he was running through the trees on all fours.
As Jake ran he went over the last 24 hours in his head. Everything happened so quickly the night before, he hadn't had a real chance to analyze any of it. The reality of all of it hit him like a ton of bricks.
Somewhere miles away from where he was now running, Bella his former best friend, was going through the allegedly agonizing transformation to become a vampire. In a little under 72 hours she would become one of his mortal enemies. At least that was what was happening if she had survived giving birth. Even though he told Seth not to phase unless he absolutely had to, Jake sort of hoped he would find an excuse to do just that. He just wanted to know if Bella made it through or not.
Not that knowing would change anything; it wouldn't make the pain go away. He was losing his best friend, and the only woman he had loved. That kind of pain doesn't just dissipate overnight. And yet, in some ways it had.
Jake didn't know why, but having Leah with him the night before had helped ease the pain. Leah had showed him that she was a true friend; one that wasn't going to abandon him in his time of need. Jake didn't know very many people that would have done what Leah did. She held him and allowed him to cry without saying anything. She didn't care about the fact that he was supposed to be the strong one, or that boys weren't supposed to cry, and she wasn't afraid to get involved in his emotional roller coaster ride. She just wanted to be there for him, and that meant a lot to him.
The problem was, Jake didn't really know where things stood with Leah. They didn't get a chance to talk after he had seen her dream the night before, and she definitely knew he had seen it. He worried she might think he was ignoring it, when in reality he had been doing just opposite.
Leah had filled his dreams as he slept, and left him feeling even more confused when he woke up. Jake wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. It was obvious that Leah wanted to be more than just friends, or at least subconsciously she did. Jake wasn't sure if he was ready for that. He still had a lot of healing to do before he could even think about a relationship with someone else, but if the night before had been any indication, maybe his healing process could be accelerated. That's where things got difficult. Jake had to decide if he was going to give things a chance and let Leah in, or block her out completely. There could be no middle ground, no grey zones, because he felt that would only cause more confusion and pain for them both.
Before Jake could think about it anymore he caught the scent of a herd of deer. His mind switched gears from Leah to hunting. It didn't take long after that for him to track down the deer and bring down two. He ate the bigger of the two and then dragged the smaller one back to the clearing for Leah.
Leah had just woken up when she saw Jake coming back to the camp with what she assumed was breakfast. She ran into the trees to phase and meet him at the edge of the clearing. She could smell the deer's blood almost instantly and it made her stomach churn. She still wasn't really into the whole eating raw meat thing, but she was hungry. Plus she knew it was something she was going to have to get used to. If Jake decided to stay wolf, they wouldn't be eating much of anything else. She could do it, it was all mind over matter. Jake greeted her as she approached.
"Hey, Leah. I know your not one for raw meat but I thought you might be hungry. If it will help I can phase while you eat."
"No, it's okay. I actually think I prefer the company. Thanks for doing the hunting."
Leah approached the deer and bit off a piece. The first bite was always the worst. As she continued to eat she noticed Jake let his human mind go, letting the wolf instinct take over. He had done the same thing a few days earlier when they were hunting, and just like then, it helped her loose her own mind and eat in peace. Once she was finished she wiped her muzzle and paws on the ground trying to clean them as best as possible. Jake quickly finished off the few pieces that she had left behind.
"Thanks again, Jake. You don't know how much it helps when you do that."
Once she finished cleaning herself off she broached the next topic on her mind.
"So…what's the plan now? We just run…forever?"
Jake was somewhat caught off guard by Leah's question. He figured Leah would break off on her own. Go off and start her life somewhere. He never thought she would consider actually staying with him. He honestly wasn't even sure what his own future held.
"I don't really have a plan, Leah. Just take it one day at a time I guess. I know that for at least the next 72 hours I want to be available if Seth needs me. Seeing I left my phone at home, staying wolf is the only way to do that. But Leah, don't feel like you have to do this. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay because of me. You have a dream, and a life to live away from being a wolf."
Leah was touched by Jake's sincerity but she wasn't going anywhere until she was sure Jake was going to be okay on his own. He was fine at the moment, but if anything happened back home he was going to need her support again. Plus she was still convinced he might have a chance at a normal life. She just had to get him through the next few days, and then get him over Bella.
"Thanks, Jake. But I'm staying. Where you go I go, so lead the way."
With that said, Jake ran off into the trees with Leah close behind. Leah's dedication to him was again heavy on the forefront of his mind. He wished there was a better way to show his gratitude.
Jake knew that if given the choice, Leah would go off somewhere and attempt to stop phasing. Maybe even get a college degree from somewhere. But unless he decided to do the same, she wasn't going anywhere. Jake took a moment to imagine what life might be like if he quit phasing all together, and for the first time in a long time that future actually looked good. But like he told Leah, for at least the next 72 hours it was crucial to be available if Seth needed them. For now they would continue to run.
In that instant, Jake decided that the next three days would be what set up the rest of his future. He had a decision to make; stay with Leah, and start a new life, or command Leah to leave, and run alone forever.
The next day Jake had a hard time concentrating on anything other than his girl problems. When he wasn't busy trying to forget about Bella, his mind was occupied with figuring out what to do about the Leah situation. To add to his problems he was having a hard time keeping his thoughts to himself. It was just too easy to let his mind go when he was running. That was dangerous since half of his thoughts were about the girl he was running with, and she could hear every one of them. Jake was pretty sure Leah knew something was up, but she hadn't said anything to him yet, so maybe he was doing better at hiding it than he thought.
About half way through the second day Seth phased in to report trouble. Just like Jake predicted, Sam's pack found out about Bella's transformation and immediately made a plan to take the Cullens down. Seth caught their scent when he was walking through the woods by the Cullens and decided it would be a good idea to alert Jake. Jake, however, already knew what was going on. He found out that he could still communicate with Sam even though they were in separate packs. Something having to do with them both being Alphas, or at least that is what they were guessing.
Jake filled Sam in on the terms of the new treaty, and let him know that by attacking the Cullens he would be breaking tribal law, and dishonoring their ancestors. Reluctantly, Sam agreed to honor it. It seemed that as heir of the original alpha, Ephraim Black, Jake was a stronger alpha and his command could not be broken, even by Sam. Jake had Seth start patrolling again anyway just in case Sam tried anything.
This produced a new dilemma for Jake. When Seth was phased it reopened the mind link between him and the other two, and even though he tried to block them, many of Seth's most recent memories were of Bella, and her transformation. Although Jake was relived to find out that Bella was alive, seeing her in her current state of pain, and coming to the realization of what she was becoming reopened his still fresh wounds. Right when he thought the pain would become unbearable again, Leah came to his rescue.
Leah convinced Jake to start taking alternating shifts as wolves. By this time they had run almost all the way to the California boarder and could not go much further without hitting more populated areas, so they weren't really traveling anymore. The only purpose for them to be in wolf form at this point was to stay connected to Seth incase something happened. Since, for the time being, Seth was still part of their pack, Leah could do this without Jake. She offered to take the shift with Seth, so that Jake didn't have to see any images of Bella or her baby. Jake would switch off when she and Seth needed a break.
This also worked in Leah's favor. She couldn't directly hear Sam, but since Jake was still connected to him, and she was connected to Jake, anything that he was thinking about got through to her too. The last place Leah ever wanted to be again was in Sam's mind.
Jake agreed with the plan. It killed two birds with one stone. He was saved from the pain of seeing Bella, and he could think about Leah without worrying about her hearing it. Leah's gesture had once again proved exactly why Jake was considering the idea of a new plan; a plan that had the possibility of including her.
By the end of the third day Jake didn't feel any closer to making a decision than he did the first. He had spent most of his time alone trying to weigh the options and decide what would be best for him, but in the end neither choice stuck out as being better than the other. Leah had continued to prove her friendship again and again. Stepping in to help him when he showed even the slightest bit of need. Somehow, the pain always seemed to lessen when she was with him, and he thought that with time it may even be reduced to almost nothing. But Bella had left him with a hole in his heart, a hole he wasn't sure could ever be filled. He worried that Leah would take him staying as a sign that he wanted something more, and he wasn't sure he would ever be able to be in that kind or relationship. Leading her on would only cause her more pain, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. Not that causing Leah pain could be prevented either way. Leah had already told Jake she wasn't leaving him voluntarily, if he decided to stay wolf, and run forever, he was going to have to command Leah to leave, and that was going to hurt her too. Both sides had their ups and downs, he just had to decide which had more.
Leah howled for Jake, signaling to him that it was safe to phase. She did this every night when Seth was gone, which is why he was surprised to find Seth in his mind after he phased.
"Hey Jake! I just wanted to say goodbye again before I couldn't anymore. After Bella wakes up I'm headed to Sam's. Guess it's for real this time." Seth sounded even sadder than he had three days previously, when they first said goodbye.
"Hey Seth, cheer up! I promise everything is going to be okay. Sam's a good guy, and he is going to take care of you. Leah and I will stay in touch, you just won't be running with us anymore."
Seth's frame of mind suddenly changed. Jake could feel the anger emanating through the mind link. "No, Jake! It's not going to all be okay! Have either of you even stopped to think about what you are doing? You're just running away from your problems! Both of you! Not only that but you are messing with everyone else's lives while you're at it! Did you even stop and think about what you were doing when you commanded the Cullens to leave? This is their home, Jake, and now if they don't leave, they die. Sam's not willing to give second chances. Not that you care. And Leah, I love you, but you need to move on with you're life. We all get hurt sometimes. Instead of wallowing in it, and thinking nothing is ever going to change, why don't you do something about it? Don't chase away love just because you got hurt, if you do that you are going to end up jaded and alone. No one wants to have to live with that forever!" Neither Jake nor Leah had ever seen Seth this upset. He just snapped! Neither one of them dared to stop him though, and to seemed as through he had A LOT on his mind.
"Neither one of you stopped to think of what anyone else might think of you running away. Mom was worried sick, Leah! You're dad wasn't too happy either, Jake. I had to be the one to explain where you went, and that you wouldn't be back. Thank goodness for Edward. He's the one that is going to break the news to Bella, when she wakes up. Let me ask you this, Jake. Did you ever stop to think of what this is going to do to her? You were her best friend…and what abut their daughter, her name is Renesmee by the way, she knows that you left because of her. She is going to blame herself for the rest of her life, which could be forever."
While Seth spoke Jake could see flashes of his memories. One after another the people he was hurting flashed before his eyes, his dad, his sisters, Seth, Edward. Bella, a child he presumed to be Renesmee. With each flash his heart hurt a little more. He wasn't going to be able to take much more before he broke.
Leah could sense Jake's pain too. She wanted to kill her brother for showing him this. Finally, right before Jake hit his breaking point, Leah had enough.
"Seth, STOP! Just Stop!"
But the images didn't stop. They just got more frequent, and detailed. Bella laying in a bed, screaming and bleeding as Renesmee was removed from her womb, Renesmee touching Seth's face and somehow "showing him" that she was sorry for making her mom's friends leave, Bella again in the bed, this time writhering in pain…"
The tears started streaming down Jake's muzzle. He caused this, all of this. He always knew that there was no way he could have stopped Bella from turning, but he could have spared her the pain. Seeing her like that, caused his own heart to hurt even more than it already did. He couldn't take anymore…but still Seth went on.
Edward sitting by Bella's side, holding her hand, Renesmee was on his lap. Then suddenly the image shifted, and they were looking through someone else's eyes. Bella's eyes fluttered and then snapped open. They were blood red.
Jake broke. Leah sensed it, and knew she had to get Jake out of there fast, before she lost him forever.
"Jake...phase back! Now!"
Jake's emotions were too strong, there would be no way he would be able to phase now. If she couldn't get Jake to snap out of it the wolf instinct would take over and she would loose him. Leah went to plan B…get rid of Seth.
"Seth, get out of here! You've made your point! All you're doing now is causing Jake more pain and grief than he already had! That won't help anything, it's just pushing him closer to the point of no return. I can help him…I was helping him! He needs time to heal, and I can give him that, and provide him the support he needs. But it won't happen if I loose him to his wolf. Now please, just Stop!"
Just as quickly as Seth had gone into his rage, he snapped out of it, and the images stopped.
"I'm sorry Jake, but you needed to see the truth. I hope you can find it in you're heart to forgive me someday…if not I understand. Goodbye!" With that Seth disappeared.
By this point Jake had completely lost it. Leah needed to get him back into human form and calm him down. She did the only thing she could think of and began projecting memories of the last few days. Of everything they had been through together, and how happy she felt to be with him. She only hoped it would be enough.
Jake was trying to concentrate on anything but the image of Bella's blood red eyes, but it had been burned into the back of his mind, and nothing else was breaking through. His wolf senses were talking over, and he knew if he didn't phase back soon he probably never would. The pain was less there, in the wolf's mind. Maybe that was the solution, he could loose himself to the wolf forever. The world around him was a blur, then something broke through the fog. Leah's voice.
"Jake…Jake please! Listen to me! Come, on Jake….just listen to my voice. Pay attention to what I'm showing you, it will help. Please, just come back to me!"
Images started breaking through. At first Jake flinched away, blocking his mind. He was afraid it was Seth again. Then he realized these images were different. They were images of him and Leah. They were laughing together, running together, eating together. Leah showed him how easy it was for her to eat when he helped her, and how happy she felt to be running with him. She showed him how much she cared about him, and how much it hurt her to see him hurting. She wanted him to know that she was there for him, the she always would be there for him. That together, they could make it through the pain. They had done it for the last three days, they could do it forever. Jake focused on these images, each one brought him further out of the haze. Finally he got to a point where his emotions no longer held him in his wolf from and was able to phase. Once he was in human form he collapsed to the ground, not even caring that he wasn't wearing any clothes. He felt himself being surrounded by warmth, and again he heard Leah's voice.
"Thank God! I thought I had lost you Jake! It's going to be okay now! It's all going to be okay!"
For the second time in three days Jake cried in Leah's arms. As he cried, Leah did her best to comfort him, and as she did that, Jake realized that again the pain started to fade. Suddenly realization hit him, the pain he had been experiencing was being caused by holding on to the past. All he had to do, to make it stop, was make the decision to let go. It didn't matter what he let go to; earlier it had been to his wolf, now it was to Leah. He knew what he had to do, he had to let go of Bella, forever, then he could begin to heal.
In that moment, Jake made his decision, he was finally ready to move on. This is where he belonged, right here, with Leah. Leah had brought him out of his darkest moment, a moment he almost didn't think he would make it back from. It was the images of them, together, that pulled him through. When she was around, the pain was always less, even before they had run away together. It had always been there, but his love for Bella had blinded him. Now, with that out of the way, he could see everything clearly.
Jake pulled away slowly and looked up into Leah's eyes. "Thank you, Leah! Thank you so much."
Jake reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind Leah's ear. She smiled down at him, and in the moonlight he noticed moisture glistening on her cheeks. She had been crying too.
"Jake, I'm just so glad you're okay. I was worried I had lost you."
Jake reached up and wrapped his arms around Leah's neck and pulled her towards him. He leaned over to whisper in her ear.
"You will never have to worry about losing me again. I'm yours…"
Jake turned and slowly brought his face towards Leah's. Suddenly their lips met in a soft kiss. Leah's heart was nearly beating out of her chest. She was sure Jake could hear it. Jake pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. Fire burned between their lips.
All too quickly it was over and Jake pulled away again. Leah could still feel the heat from where his lips had just been. Leah couldn't help but smile.
"So, what changed, Jake?" Leah wanted to make sure Jake wasn't just playing with her.
"I finally decided to let go, and when I did a whole new world opened up to me. I'm just sorry that it took me so long," Jake whispered.
"Jake, you could have taken forever. I still would have been here for you." Leah couldn't stop smiling.
Jake sat up a little straighter and dropped one arm, leaving the other wrapped around Leah's shoulder,
"I should warn you though. I'm going to have to take things slow. I may have let go of Bella, but I still have a broken heart. It's going to take time for me to fully heal.
"Well then, it's settled. We will help each other heal." Leah knew exactly how Jake felt. Sam had left her with nothing, she was just now getting to the point of trusting someone again.
Leah stood up and held her hand out to Jake. "Now, let's get you some clothes and then let's get some sleep. Tomorrow we can figure out where we are going, and what we are going to do when we get there."
Jake laughed. He had forgotten that he was completely naked. Leah turned her back while Jake stood up and pulled on his shorts. They walked through the woods hand in hand, until they found a place to sleep. Jake suggested they phase. It was a cold night and they would be much more comfortable as wolves. For the first time in three days, Jake wasn't afraid of Leah seeing his dreams.
After Jake promised Leah that he would be ok, and would be able to phase back again in the morning, Jake turned his back to give Leah some privacy and allowed her to phase first. Jake phased moments later and they curled up next to each other on the ground. Leah laid her head on Jake's shoulders. Jake tuned and rubbed his muzzle against Leah's for a good-night kiss.
"Good night, Leah. And thank you again."
"Night, Jake."
Leah couldn't be happier than she was in that moment. Somehow, her plan had worked. Now Jake was going to get his chance at freedom, and she would get to be with him every step of the way. She didn't know why, but somehow she knew this would be the beginning of forever. It was a new start for them both.
Jake closed his eyes and let sleep overcome him. For the first time, in the past three days, he felt he could sleep in peace. And it was the wolf next to him that helped get him to that point. Tomorrow, they would start their new journey. He knew it wouldn't be free from trouble, or challenges, but as long as he had Leah by his side, he knew he would make it through.
That night in the warmth of each others embrace, they both dreamed of a future together.
AN: And there it is! :-) Hope you all liked it! I am thinking of making this a short story after the contest is done...I have a lot more in store for Leah and Jacob. So let me know if you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! :-)