This one I started writing after moving back home. The idea was an original of mine from when I was like fourteen or fifteen, but the story itself would never have manifested quite this way without the turmoil of my most recent upset.

Disclaimer: I do not own love. Not anymore.

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"I love you,

I hate you,

I can't get around you.

I breath you,

I taste you,

I can't live without you."

Always Saliva

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Prologue: Between Time

Through the darkness the steady drip of water plopped into the pool below, running a path down the smooth rock walls that had stood for an eternity. They stretched for miles. Branching out to form deep caverns and dead end tunnels, twisting around themselves in such confusing patterns as to mix up the mind of any who lived there. Eventually they could connect to other hide-a-ways below the numerous bodies of water that dotted the earth, but that had been denied this certain home. For it was meant to be a prison to begin with.

Magic kept others from entering, and magic kept the one from leaving. It was an ancient magic, older than the beasts that called themselves man. It dated back to the days of mystical creatures and beyond, for even they could never truly guess where it originated from. It styled itself an entity all its own, having a mind of its own to decide what it wished to do, but that had been before. Now it slept, drowsily allowing others to manipulate its power until it finally settled under the deep lake of Ignatius, warping the environment there and any unlucky enough to gain entry.

Time stood still within the circle of its arms, the outside world passing by in a rapid haze or slowing to a crawl. It meant nothing whether a second or a year had passed by, for either would be just as likely to occur. Nothing truly existed there, for without time all was nothing, and this made it the perfect cage for the woman who dwelt there. No lock and key would ever be able to hold her, nor even the strongest magus' spell. She who could conquer an empire in a day and had almost succeeded. She who held the blood of true and made magic within her. Nothing but the extent of her imagination limited the power she possessed and she had the wings of a master to prove her ability. Only the few exceptional had ever come close to her wonderful span of fourteen feet, the knowledge and capability to tap into spectrums they had only ever heard of like second nature to her mind. And while those others had spent their whole lives just to break the surface, she had burst through in a whirl of color and light and energy within two years.

Yet, once again, that had been before. Before her mind had plummeted down the path of insanity, drowning in a wave of primitive emotions so unlike her human half. Falling prey to wicked words and a forked tongue, she wallowed in deceitful lies and allowed them to turn her away from the gentle, caring woman she once was into a heartless beast bent on rage and sorrow. Convinced of the betrayal of others she cast herself alone, bitterly mocking herself and the soft creature she had been, cursing the gullible way she had believed sweet words and honeyed tones. Lost now from her true self, she sat alone in her prison of time and rock and water.

A pale shot of light filtered through the fathomless depth of water above, the barrier that separated the air from the liquid a mystery in all purposes, serving only to illuminate the still figure below it. A ragged creature she was, dress torn and hanging limply around her thin limbs. At one point it had probably been beautiful, the inky blackness of its rich material caressing her skin like the wings of a butterfly and flowing ethereally like the water her kind sprouted from. In its present form, however, the full skirt fell heavily upon her perch, the forced split up one side showing the bent knee of her left leg as she sat cross-legged upon a flat rock jutting from the black water. The sleeves, torn and dirty, still fell to reach her feet if she stood, only they now looked to belong to the evil and uncaring; the jagged edges trailing off to soak in the thick, darkness below.

Body slumped in defeat, the woman hung her head in dejection, the thick clumps of her hair falling over her shoulders to frame her face in more darkness. Once holding a healthiness that helped it reach the length of her knees, the blue-black strands resembled something more like the legs of a spider, curving off the rock in a pattern not unlike that wicked arachnid. Shaggy bangs covered her eyes, shadowing her features so only the pale pink of her lips and the deathly pallor of her jaw were visible. Beneath the shadow, however, shown the madness of her soul, that window below her brows glazed and dull. They were no longer a happy and colorful contrast to her almost delicate features, but dangerous; ruthless with their lack of caring. Rusty as they were, their gaze stared down at nothing, her unfocused mind dismissing the realm that surrounded her body to delve instead into the inner most reaches of her memories. It overwhelmed her with images of betrayal and loss, forcing her to face that which she least wanted to. That truth about life. That life itself was a lie.

Furtive whispers echoed along the empty space, hissing between her teeth at the lack of pronunciation or spitting in anger at thoughts that made her eyes light momentarily. Each cadence of her verse of pain came out more disjointed than the last, following her cycle until she was crying brokenly into pale hands, the only show of color a golden sparkle on her left one. Each time it caught her attention her cries became more desperate, more heart-wrenching as the worst betrayal came to her mind. That thing that had kept her from the conquering of an empire. The one thing that she had once believed ran the universe; that stood boldly before all dangers uncaring, to watch the world bow before it.

And once she had called it her own. That thing known as love.

Love had stolen her heart from the first moment, quickening the pulse in her chest and shortening her breath. Enthralled with a gentle gaze and tender words; with a courageous man who unselfishly threw himself into the protection of others, she had quickly fallen. And at first she had believed he had caught her, sweeping her off her feet and carrying her for a time. Taking her to the very gates of heaven within the confines of a small cottage, with smooth caresses and passionate words guiding their way.

That, too, had been a lie. There was no such thing as love... not really. Oh there was passion and affection, attachment to one person that makes life seem dull and lifeless without them... but love was none of these things... not to her, not anymore. It was vile and deceitful, a pack of untruths pressed together to form a barrier around a person until they were blind to see anything but what they wanted to see. That their one and only was nothing more than a liar that made up their love to keep them staked to their side. A liar that would eventually abandon their so called love for another when they were done and had what they wanted. One who would betray the love given to them without a thought, would turn on them... all the while still insisting that everything would be alright, that they would never leave. The fact was enough to anger her again, forcing her back down trails of red and black, of imagined ways of returning the favor... to show him she was not someone to be messed with in such ways... not anymore. Oh how she would love to watch the dawning recognition on his face as she gave back what she had been given. Which, in a sense, was nothing... but nothing was just as maddening and insufferable as the worst torture. Nothing ate away at a person's mind, drove them to the brink of existence and back... there was just something wrong about nothing... and with all the time in the world at her disposal... she just might be able to figure out everything that that entailed.

A new set of whispers echoed through the darkness, accompanying hers and breaking apart to surround and imprison her further. They were the whispers of madness, they were what reverberated in her ears and fed her the words that she contemplated while they were away. They brought anger and rage and sorrow and self-loathing upon her in such great depths that she feared she would never feel anything else. Emotions like those sunk into a person and took over, permeating from their skin and stinking the air with their very presence. No other thoughts could be brought to the surface with their constant meddling, and as hard as she had tried at one point to cast them off... it had not worked and she knew she was doomed for all of eternity to wallow in their filth.

Now, they confided in her once again, sighing out descriptive word paintings of each and every wrong being done to her now and forever. How those outside were celebrating in her absence... how he was glorifying his freedom in the wake of her imprisonment. Namely with that woman she had seen before. That woman who had held onto him so familiarly. That woman who hid behind him like he was meant to protect her and her alone. That woman he had purposely kept her from!

I see now, dear husband, how the world works. I see now the treacherous lies of men. The worthlessness of love and all of its followers. You were mine... mine and mine alone and yet you tie yourself to someone else... you protected her from a fate that she had earned... and by rights I should have been allowed to give! Because I am not dead! Not yet. And you are still mine. Mine to hold on to. Mine to love. Not her. And you have no right to think I will be appeased so easily. You should have let me spill her blood... you should have let me pull her limb from limb and feed her flesh to the circling crows. It was my right! Why did you deny it to me! I am not dead yet! You are not free of me! Why?

The ghostly hum continued, urging on her irrational thoughts, agreeing with her mad declarations. They fed off of her anger, loving the pain and desperation that she seemed to carry in a never ending supply. Never before had there been one so full of life even in the face of death; so full of emotions and dramatic turns of thought. She was a perfect being... and they were gleefully working to destroy her. To create something else... something that would not only conquer the world... but desecrate it... destroy it... warp it into a proper playground for them to feed off of forever.

And it was so easy! The tiniest hint of her love was enough to set her mind down that path of misery once again... to make her remember in minute detail everything that had brought her to this point. From the moment she had awoken in marital bliss on the morning after, to the bloodiness of her last night on the land above. Many times they had heard it, and many times more they knew they would again... but that was not the point. It was the wealth of grief she would unconsciously project throughout the room that was what they were after... the darker feelings that would emerge when she thought of her life and the betrayal of those closest to her.

Hearing it again now was a given, they needed more strength to accomplish their goal... they needed her soul... eventually they would get it... but that was a long time in coming. But what was time in this place? With a silent snicker they encouraged her on again, carefully coaxing her down her memories until she was at the beginning... It was always better when she started at the beginning. When she lost herself in images of the middle they could not gain what they wanted from her... so they had to be crafty. Had to start her out right. This time it would be all too easy, with her mind distracted by the one she called husband. For as hard and as long as she cursed him, she loved him... loved him in a way that words did not describe. It made them sick to hear of her softness towards him, but all good things come with the bad. Or should they say all bad things come with good? The more she reminisced about the wonderful life they had shared... the worse her depression would be later. The bigger the feast...

"Tell us again... dear sister... what is love? Who showed it to you?"

One low hiss threatened from her lips, baring her teeth and the long incisors that she carried. It was a warning... that she did not care to remember. Those teeth were enough to show them that.

"Please, sister, we do not know love and probably never will... what will it do to you?"

"It is vile and disgusting, and will leave nothing but heartache."

"We heard it was beautiful." They contradicted.. "Like the wings of an angel... or the colors of a sunset... or... even the voice of a syren."

"Do not mock me!"

"Of course not, dear one... but is it not the truth? Your own voice, we heard, is the envy of the highest celestial being."

White hands came up to hide the shape of her face, muffling her words and the hitch behind them. "Yes... it is true. Though my voice is no longer beautiful and neither is love to me."

"That is temporary, we are sure you will regain your strength in due time. But please, we are aching to hear of love... please tell us of love."

Limply her arms fell back into her lap, freeing her features from the darkness as she lifted her head to stare up into the pale light above. Two twin orbs of red made up her eyes, covering the whites and the pupils so that they were solid and liquid in appearance. With the pain in her heart and mind plaguing her, more now with the knowledge of the peaceful and full time she had lived before, her sorrow spilled out from those crimson eyes to trail down her cheeks in bloody rivers. Then she took a shaky breath before beginning her tale of tragedy.

The others looked on and listened, already leeching off of the despair pouring down her face. It was a powerful source of their energy, because it was not seen often. Not in her pure-blooded brethren. They were cold and solitary, never allowing others to interfere with their lives. But she... she was only half and the human side was what made her the more vulnerable, what helped this mystical occurrence to happen every time they came.

For it was said that a syren only cried when their heart was broken, their life's blood spilling from their eyes like the opening of a wound.

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A/N: I have found that current feelings affect my stories in a big way. Without an outlet for my... grief, I would not be able to finish my other stories the way they need to. Namely A Mother's Love... as well as My Only Joy... which was affected hugely by my emotional chaos. I would like to apologize for its last chapter... I deleted it because there was so many things wrong with it that would throw the plot line down paths I did not originally wish it to go down that I had to do something with it before too many people read it. Hopefully by the time I finish retyping it any who have read the original will have forgotten most of what it said...

Anyway, back to this story... for any scared that this will be a heartbreaker... don't be... though I say that my feelings at the time do affect my writing, that doesn't mean that I will start killing off characters and turning them into people they aren't... the character in this chapter is a little different, but that is because a lot has happened to her between the real first chapter and this one. All will be explained, but you will have to be patient and trust me... I don't believe in sad endings... but that doesn't mean they won't go through hell just to get their happy one. As always, thanks for reading and please drop a review for me... I like to see how my stories impact my readers...

Songs: Believe by Disturbed

Always by Saliva