A/N: Ok this is just a skeleton of the story i'm waiting to see what you guys think of it before i put anymore effort into it
I'm Not Okay
Seth sighed as he kicked a rock across the soft white sand of the small inlet he had discovered years ago. It was hidden from sight and nearly four miles from first beach. He often came here when he needed to get away from it all. Ever since his dad had died he had been slipping further and further into depression. He prided himself on hiding it; he thought that the headaches were a minor price to pay in order to keep the pack out of the larger portion of his mind. It was the same concentration he had to use to hide his thoughts and feelings from Edward and Jasper. Recently though he simply couldn't find it in himself to hide it anymore. He hadn't phased in a few days and hadn't been back to the Cullen's since the meeting to discuss a new treaty and to talk about Alice's vision of the newborn army. He didn't want to fight anymore; he just wanted to be done with it. His cell rang in his pocket and he decided that after three days of hiding on this beach without leaving, that he should probably answer it. He took a moment to gain control of his emotions and answered the phone. As soon as Leah began screeching into it he pulled it away from his ear and glared at it. Once Leah had quieted down he put the phone back to his ear. "I'm sorry Lee-Lee" he said softly "I just needed some time to get my head together."
Another few rounds of Leah yelling, and he was on his way home. He paused warily when he saw Sam standing outside his house, a dark look hovering over his face.
Seth ducked his head and slowly walked onto his porch. He flinched when Sam put his hand on his shoulder and drew him into a loose one armed hug. "We've been worried about you." Sam said gruffly. "Go see your sister and mom before they rip us apart." He added genially. "And Seth?" Sam continued. "You owe the pack an explanation … and we leave tomorrow at sunrise for the Cullen's. The newborns are coming."
Seth groaned as he stepped into the house. His mother immediately pulled him into a tight hug and stepped back to look at him. He smiled slightly and apologetically as she looked him over. Without a word Sue stepped into the kitchen and began bustling about and making lunch. Seth looked up as he heard swift footsteps in the hall and stumbled back as Leah's palm made sudden, sharp contact with his left cheek. He barely gathered his senses back before she pulled him into a fierce hug and apologized. She started in on a lecture about how he was never to disappear like that again and to never ignore her calls.
Seth mumbled apologetically and excused himself to go shower. As the scalding hot water began to cascade across his skin he sat down and whimpered softly, biting his cheek so that he wouldn't cry aloud as he let the pain and depression wash over him. He was so tired of the lies. He was tired of pretending to be happy when deep down he was absolutely miserable.
The next morning Leah stepped into his room and shook his shoulder gently and told him to be ready in ten minutes for the run to the Cullen's.
As the pack began to near the Cullen's home Seth noticed something he had totally forgotten as worked up as he was over the coming battle. Today was his birthday, he was officially sixteen.
Chapter 2
Seth felt panicked … Riley and Victoria were dead but the pack and the coven were still waging war in the clearing. In his mind he saw through Leah's eyes as two of the newborns leapt onto the big guy. Without a moment's thought Seth rushed down to the clearing thinking a loud apology to Edward.
Seth burst into the clearing and leapt at the more dangerous looking newborn that was on Emmett's back trying to peel his head off. Seth grunted as he collided with the marble flesh and took it with him across the clearing. Seth screamed out as he was bit by the cold one as they rolled across the ground. He snarled as he locked his teeth around its throat and jerked his head to the side severing its head and flinging it back into the fray. He made short work of dismembering the body and rushed back into the battle ignoring the cold burning pain that was beginning to radiate from the puncture wounds on his inner thigh.
Emmett screamed in fury as he flung the body over his shoulder and with a quick flick of his wrists he sent the body flying and dropped the head to the ground before stomping it into dust.
Leah limped past the rocky outcropping after dispatching the last newborn, gingerly hopping to keep weight off of her mangled arm. She screamed aloud as she watched Seth collapse, unconscious, to the ground his body relaxing into his human form and baring the heavily bleeding bite. Unheeding of her nude state she shifted and ran to his body.
Her scream gathered the attention of the others and they watched helplessly as Carlisle sighed and hung his head.
"It's too late" he said softly, "the venom has spread too far to be safely removed."
Emmett sunk to the ground beside Carlisle and peeled off his shirt to cover the youth's body.
Seth's eyes snapped open and he yelped as the icy fingers brushed against his lower abdomen. He looked up at Emmett as Leah knelt at his side, calling his name.
"Why, little pup, why did you save me?" Emmett whispered, laying his chill hand upon Seth's brow.
Without breaking eye contact Seth leaned into the touch gasping for the air needed to form a response. His tears rolled unchecked as he fought against the pain. "Because you needed to stay alive, well as alive as a leech can be." He said with a wan attempt at a smile. He grimaced as a fresh burning wave of pain crashed against him and fought back the urge to cry out. Emmett placed a hand on his chest in an attempt to still his convulsions. He sent Leah a glare when she bared her teeth at him. They both looked back at Seth when he sighed softly.
"Seth?" Leah murmured, "you okay?"
Seth nodded and gasped for a deeper lungful of air. "Cold … is … nice" he gasped. "More cold … please." He panted, just those few words seemed to sap what little air and strength he had left.
Ignoring Leah's growl of protest Emmett gathered the young wolf to his chest and pressed as much of his chilled flesh to the boy as he could. Seth's body relaxed some as the chill spread through his body, soothing some of the burn. He began to breathe a little more evenly, but his chest was still heaving and his body sweating from exertion.
"Need sleep." He murmured into Emmett's pecs. In a fluid motion Emmett had stood and securely wrapped the shirt around him.
"We'll take him home." Sam said as he finished tugging his shorts on.
As soon as Sam's hands touched him Seth screamed. Carlisle garnered Sam's attention. "Vampire venom makes the victim's body feel as though it is burning from within. Your high body temperature will only increase that sensation … I would recommend him staying with us so that we may keep him cool and I can monitor his condition." He explained smoothly.
"I'll watch over him." Jake said looking at Leah. "I promise to keep you updated on his condition and make sure nothing happens."
Leah glared at him for a moment before her gaze returned to Seth, softening she simply nodded.
"What's gonna happen to him Doc?" Embry voiced the whole packs concern aloud.
"Honestly? I'm not sure … vampires and wolves are natural enemies and as such are not meant to exist within one body. I will monitor him closely until we know." He promised gently.
Sam gathered a distraught Leah into his arms as he said quiet thanks and led his pack out of the grove and towards home.
Edward arrived in the clearing moments later and took stock of the situation. He looked at Jake as the wolf replayed everything in his mind so he would be up to speed. "So we're hosting two wolves for an indeterminate length of time?" he asked for clarity.
Carlisle nodded and silently asked Edward to take Bella and go food for their guests.
"C'mon Bells." He said softly. "We're food shopping and I need your input on their favorite foods."
"You know what I like Bells." Jake said as the coven got ready to return home.
"I know." Bella whispered as Edward placed her back on his back.
"See you at home." Edward said before he took off for the cars.
Chapter 3
"I'm just not sure about us." Bella said her voice thick with tears.
"I can't say I'm surprised." Edward said softly. "I know you love Jake … it's okay." He said with a small smile.
"I'm sorry." Bella choked out.
"Don't be … I just want you to be happy." Edward whispered pulling her into a gentle embrace.
"What just happened!" Alice called down the stairs.
"What do you mean?" Bella asked as she watched the smaller girl walk down the stairs.
"You both just disappeared from my visions!" she exclaimed.
"Bella has chosen to be with Jacob." Edward explained, throwing a small smile at Bella to show that he was okay with it.
"That doesn't explain where you went though." She said looking him in the eye. She breathed a soft sigh of relief and then a look of confusion crossed her face.
"No I wasn't planning that Alice … I know how she reacted last time … I won't scare her like that again." He said softly, sincerity shining in his eyes.
Bella looked between them for a moment before she realized what they meant. "Edward? Promise me you aren't contemplating suicide again."
"I promise Bells."
"Then … OOHH!" Alice gasped as she finally connected all of the dots.
Edward's head snapped to her direction as he caught the thought. "You think so?" he asked uncertainly.
"It fits" Alice said simply.
"What does?" Bella asked in confusion.
"I'm possibly going to be someone's imprint." Edward said with a wry chuckle.
A … what … now?
Seth snuggled closer to the frigid marble body beside him. He snapped awake and leapt back in alarm.
"Better now?" Emmett said with a chuckle as he put his book down.
Seth nodded and then grabbed his head when he felt the sudden rush of lightheadedness from his accelerated movements.
"Carlisle said it should only take a week or so for you to get used to the new speed … the extra strength might take more time though." Seth sighed and placed a hand over his pounding heart … he froze. A heartbeat? But vampires didn't have one!
"Ah our miracle is awake at last!" Jake said with a chuckle from the doorway.
"Jake?" Seth gasped "What am I?"
"Something new." Carlisle said quietly from behind the other wolf. "We don't yet know the extent of the changes but you appear to still be a wolf … mostly."
"Mostly?" Seth inquired.
"SETH!" Leah squealed as she dashed into the room and flung herself at her younger brother.
"Ah!" Seth yelped in surprise at the sudden noise.
Leah cried out as she was flung into the wall of muscle and cold that caught her.
"Ed." Jake said in greeting.
"Hey Jake" Ed said warmly.
"What … I … Leah I'm so sorry!" Seth gasped out.
"Telekinesis" Alice said appreciatively. She let out a sudden squeal of happiness.
"What?" Seth asked in surprise.
"You have telekinesis AND I can see you in my visions!" Alice exclaimed.
"Cool!" Seth said. "I get to move stuff with my mind!"
Leah let out a chuckle and suddenly seemed to remember whose arms were wrapped around her. She turned to thank him when their eyes met and her world shifted out of focus.
Edward was caught in the chestnut amber swirl of her eyes for several moments before Alice giggled.
"Told you." Alice said with a smirk.
Edward chuckled as he released Leah from his embrace.
Seth looked back and forth between everyone and then groaned falling forward and burying his face in the blankets. "I'm so confused" he moaned.
"I'll explain as soon as they go away and you remove your face from my crotch." Emmett said laughing boisterously as Seth leapt back and promptly fell off the far side of the bed.
Seth peeked over the edge of the bed and took a breath to apologize when he caught a heady, delicious aroma. "What is that smell?" he said dreamily.
"What smell?" Leah asked curiously taking a deep whiff of the air.
Edward's face scrunched up for a moment before he sighed exasperatedly. "Another?" he grumbled irritably.
"Another what?" Bella asked from the doorway.
"I can't read him either." Edward muttered.
Seth was looking at Bella strangely. "It's you." He said "you're what smells so … appetizing" Seth said taking another deep sniff of the air.
The room tensed as he licked his lips, eyes closed. "I want some pancakes now." Seth said petulantly. "Bella's smell made me hungry." He whined.
Leah smiled fondly. "A sleepy hungry Seth … prepare for adorable whininess." She said with a chuckle as Seth sent her a pout.
"Food." He whined falling over backwards and rubbing his stomach.
Bella laughed and slowly ushered everyone out in an attempt to save some of Seth's pride.
Emmett's head popped over the edge of the bed and he gazed down at the young wolf-vampire. "Come on pup I've got a week's worth of stuff to explain while they cook."
Seth opened his eyes to make a snappy retort but he froze as he locked eyes with the bear of a man.
"No way!" Alice cried out from downstairs "That is just too funny!"
Seth looked at Emmett for a moment before he belly growled and he made a pouty face that had Emmett rolling with laughter.
Chapter 5
"Let me get this straight." Seth said slowly. "In just one week Bella left Ed for Jake, Rose got a wild hair dumped you and left for Egypt, Leah imprinted on Edward, I changed into some mutated species and imprinted on you and the pack is cool with all of this and the treaty is settled?" Seth asked in confusion.
"In a nutshell." Emmett replied.
"And you lay immobile in a bed all week with me because you felt you owed me?" Seth continued.
"No … I lay here all week because I was worried about you and I remember how bad the venom hurts."
"So it was out of sympathy?" Seth asked a little hurt as he nibbled on a piece of fruit that had been brought up with his bacon, eggs, pancakes, oatmeal and milk.
"Still no." Emmett replied with a grin at Seth's look of exasperation. "You interest me … you're so depressed and ate up inside with regret but you still act happy and you manage to keep Ed and Jazz out of your head, along with the stress of everyday life and school work. And you're cute." He added with a grin.
"…" Seth blushed and looked down. "How did you know I was depressed?"
"I went through the same thing … albeit less successfully than you. It was written all over your face while you slept. I respect your strength and desire to protect others from your pain but you can't hide that stuff away like that … it'll consume you." Emmett said with a look of concern.
"I just don't want to bother people with my problems … they have their own to worry about." Seth said quietly.
"So bother me with it I can push my problems aside to help you … I have time and experience dealing with this stuff you have too many to handle alone … let me help you."
"What problems could you have? You'll stay young forever, you're unbelievably attractive you're smart and have been through school enough to not have any problems with it, you have a family that loves you. What could bother you?"
"Seeing people I know being unhappy, thirsting for blood, craving a real relationship, wanting to be near people, wanting to have a normal life instead of moving all the time. There's a lot that bothers me that people just don't realize."
Seth looked at him for a moment as a single tear slid down his cheek.
"Come to the eternally young super hot smart guy, as you put it." Emmett said opening his arms.
Seth dove into the arms as he dissolved into tears. Emmett soothingly rubbed his back and whispered into his ear, comforting him and telling him everything would work out in the end.
Jasper gasped in shock as the sudden wall of sorrow hit him like a freight train. He knew that if he was human he would have dissolved into tears before he even knew what hit him or where it came from.
Edward froze in place as Seth's mental shield relaxed and all the repressed thoughts of pain and self pity and suicide rushed into his mind completely drowning out everyone else, even his own thoughts were lost in the torrent of information.
Chapter 6
Seth cried for hours and Jasper and Edward finally gave up and had to leave because they couldn't handle the crushing presence of Seth's inner turmoil. Emmett and Seth spent the remainder of the week talking out Seth's problems and casual small talk. Before Seth knew it fall was ending and winter had settled in. He had practically moved in with the Cullens as had Leah.
It was three days before Christmas when Seth and Leah got a call from Charlie telling them the worst had happened and that Sue had finally given up and passed away. She had been heartsick for months ever since Harry's death and had been withering away. Seth lost it … he had just started to fully come to terms with his father's death and now this. His body began to shake and as Emmett tried to speak to him his form exploded and a sleek silver fox burst forth from his clothes. Seth let out a keening cry and bolted out of the house and into the woods. Emmett took a moment to marvel at his lover's new form before he dashed off after him. The Cullens stood there as Leah broke down and clung to Edward as if he was the only thing holding her to earth.
Seth ran and ran and then ran some more as he tried to escape the pain. Suddenly he felt a huge pair of ice cold arms hoist him into the air and as he was lifted he finally broke down and slid back into his human form as he sobbed brokenly.
Emmett cradled his mate tenderly and rocked him as he cried. He took a moment to assess their location and realized they had run all the way up into northern Canada. He turned and began the three day journey back to Forks as he tried to console his boyfriend.
Chapter 7
Sue's funeral was a sad affair … she was buried next to Harry on the top of The Point, a favorite hangout of the La Push residents. It was as Seth and Leah were finishing their eulogy that a fresh pure white snow began to fall. Seth finished the speech while looking to the sky "I know she's up there right now with dad, and they're looking down on us and telling us to be happy. They always did love the snow. I'll miss you guys." He said as he stepped to Emmett's side.
When the newly expanded Cullen coven returned home Carlisle brought up the move at the end of the school year. Jake and Bella agreed to move with them. Seth felt like it was time to move on … to leave the past behind them. He smiled as he took Leah's hand in his, "We should go with them." He said softly. "We need to move on from the pain here. I know mom would want us to go." He said with a watery grin. "And I need you to come with me."
Leah smiled as she squeezed Seth's hand reassuringly. "I would never walk away from you." She said as she wrapped an arm around his shoulders.