Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise, though I'm open to discussions regarding a rent agreement for Emily and Dave.
AN - Spoiler Alert - For the purpose of my story, I've played with the timeline of the seventh season a little. I've added a few weeks between Penelope and Spencer seeing Rossi leaving the same hotel as Strauss, and JJ's wedding. Happy reading :)
Please Don't Go
Emily watched as the team exchanged goodbye hugs and handshakes around her, and sighed to herself. Time to go home, back to her lonely flat, to another night of tossing and turning as she fought off the nightmares that plagued her. Disregarding the thoughts, she plastered a smile on her face just in time for Penelope to envelope her in a tight hug.
"I'll see you in the morning, my love," Penelope whispered into Emily's ear, squeezing her tightly for a few seconds before she let go. Emily's smile changed into a more genuine one as she nodded her head in assurance.
"I'll be there," she promised quietly. She exchanged hugs with the others, and shrugged her coat on. JJ left first, followed quickly by Hotch and Reid. Just as Emily was wrapping her scarf around her neck, Penelope and Derek run from the hallway to Morgan's car, Penelope moaning about the rain ruining a perfectly good hairstyle while Derek laughed at her.
"Hold on, Emily," Dave said quietly, resting his hand lightly at the bottom of her back as Morgan pulled from the expansive driveway.
Emily turned to look at him, her eyebrow raised slightly in question. This was the first time he'd allowed them to be alone since, well, for months. Since she got back from being 'dead', anyway.
"Wine?" he offered, a half smile on his lips as though he was reading her thoughts straight from her mind. Knowing him as she did, he probably was.
She hesitated for a moment. She was curious as to what had brought this sudden change of the rules about, but at the same time, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to hear anything he had to say that could only be said with them alone together.
Eventually, she took her scarf off to show willing, hanging it back on the hook she'd taken it from. He waited a moment for her to take her coat off, and when she didn't, he sighed.
"I'm not going to jump you, Emily," he said quietly, holding her eyes with his own.
"I didn't think you were," she replied. She sighed. "I just have a feeling that this conversation is going to hurt, and I'd prefer the option to make a quick exit if I need it."
She didn't see the point in trying to bullshit Dave, it never worked anyway. He knew her better than she knew herself. He didn't reply to her words, instead he reached out and unzipped her coat, pushing it off her shoulders. She didn't fight him, knew it was pointless to try, because she also knew when Dave wanted something, he usually got it.
He reached around her to hand the coat up on the same peg as her scarf, and pushed her gently towards the kitchen. When she was seated, he got two clean wine glasses from the cupboard and looked at her.
"Red or white?" he offered.
"Red," she replied, and he nodded, pulling a bottle of red wine from the rack he kept in the kitchen. A minute later, he was sitting beside her at the breakfast bar, pushing a half full glass towards her.
She nodded her thanks, resting her hand lightly around the bottom of the stem.
"I made a mistake, and I'm sorry," he said after a minute.
She looked up at him, a small frown on her face. Tilting her head slightly to the side, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about, so don't worry yourself too much about it."
He chuckled again. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're going to tell me that Garcia wasn't on the phone to you the minute I got in that taxi, I'll know you're lying."
She shook her head. "I know about you and Strauss. I don't know why you're apologising to me for it," she clarified. "You don't have to answer to me, Dave. You never did."
"What if I want too?" he argued. "What if I want you to tell me that it made you angry or sad, or I don't know, feel something? What if I want to hear that you had some sort of reaction to finding out I was with another woman, because it means you did love me like you said you did?"
She stared at him in shock, a mixture of feelings inside her, all fighting for dominance. She'd half expected this conversation, or at least something along the same lines, for the first few months after she came back. When he didn't approach her, she thought he'd decided to leave things alone. She'd been sad, but she'd understood. He'd grieved for her, he'd moved on.
When Penelope told her about Strauss, Emily had wanted to scream. She'd wanted to throw things, break things, punch him for daring to sleep with another woman, but she knew she had no right to actually do any of it. She'd left him, however unwillingly it had been. She had no right to any part of him any more.
Until now, she hadn't even known he'd heard her when she told him she loved him. She'd thought he was asleep. She'd thought it was safe to let the words out into the night, with only the moon as her witness.
She watched him as he watched her. There was a hesitation in his eyes that threw her off slightly. She'd never seen Dave hesitate over anything. There was also an impatience that was growing more pronounced the longer she held her silence.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Dave," she said eventually, rubbing at her forehead. "Yes, it hurt when Penelope told me, but what was I supposed to do? Come here, screaming like a banshee at you about a relationship that was over a year ago?"
"At least I would have known you still cared," he shot back.
"Of course I still care!" she growled, loosing her temper. "You think I can just switch off feelings, Dave? You think I'm some fucking robot who doesn't feel things the same way as regular people do?"
She stood up, almost spilling her untouched wine all over herself. Settling the glass back firmly on the side, she walked away from him, back into the hallway. Grabbing her coat and scarf, she didn't even wait to put them on, she moved toward the door, putting her hand on the handle before he caught her, stopping her from opening it.
"Emily, don't go," he muttered. "I'm sorry, alright? I just... I need to know that you meant what you said."
"Why, Dave? You're with Strauss now, and anyway, you weren't supposed to hear that the first time I said it, I'm sure as hell not going to repeat it now."
"Because I still love you," he blurted out.
She stopped fighting his hand then as she stared at him in surprise. He looked as shocked as she did at the words that had just left his mouth, and she felt his hand slacken around hers on the door handle.
"Please, Emily," he whispered, taking his hand away from hers as he stepped back. She knew it was his way of telling her it was okay if she couldn't. She opened the door, and took a few steps, before she stopped and turned back to him.
Taking a step towards him, she rested her hand on his cheek. "Of course I meant it."
With that, she left, taking long strides until she reached her car and climbing in as soon as she reached it. Looking up, she saw him still standing at the door, watching her. Letting a lone tear fall to her cheek, she started the engine, reversing back a bit before she spun the car around and drove away.
xxxx
The idea had been bouncing around her head since she'd left Dave's house, and with all that had happened in the last few days, it had only solidified in his mind. She had to leave. Leave the BAU, leave DC, leave her past behind her. It was too painful, seeing him every day, especially when she knew he loved her. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him, let alone talk to him.
As Emily slipped her dress on, she knew she had to tell the team. She wouldn't do it that night, she didn't want to ruin JJ's night, but it would have to be soon. There was only so much she could take, and she was so close to her breaking point, she was actually scaring herself.
Of course, she hadn't taken into account the fact that she worked with profilers. Derek had her sussed in moments, and even Penelope seemed to know with only a look that something was happening. Annoyed with herself, Emily vowed to work on her poker face. Unsurprisingly, once the meeting with Hotch was agreed upon, she settled down somewhat.
Walking around the dance floor later that evening, her eyes passing over her friends, her family, she wished things could be different. She didn't want to leave any of them. She didn't want to leave the job she loved. When Derek grabbed her hand, pulling her on to the dance floor, she laughed and fell into step with him, allowing him to lead her.
As she was passed around, she allowed herself private goodbyes with each member of the team, even if they didn't know that yet. Derek, the only one to really know what was going on, held her close to his chest the second time he claimed her.
"I'm going to miss you," he whispered into her ear.
She took a deep breath, willing her eyes to stay dry, just until she left. Crying in the middle of JJ's wedding would be a dead giveaway that something was wrong.
"I'm going to miss you too," she replied. "But you'll always be one of my best friends, Derek. I promise."
He nodded, closing his eyes as he swayed, keeping her hand tight in his.
Emily didn't realise who was in line for her next dance until she felt his hand take hers, as Dave pulled her into his arms. The familiarity of it took her breath away.
"Word is, you're leaving," he whispered into her ear as she rested her head on his shoulder. The feel of his breath on her skin sent a shiver down her spine. She leant away slightly, tilting her head to look at him.
"Who told you that?" she asked quietly.
"Doesn't matter. Is it true?"
She nodded slightly. He sighed, and she could see sadness in his eyes, before he prompted her head back to his shoulder gently.
"Don't go, Emily," he whispered. Holding her tightly so she couldn't move away again, he continued, "Don't run, just listen."
When he felt her relax against him, he sighed in relief. "I love you. I know when you came back from Paris I was a jerk, but I was hurt and distance is my way of dealing with hurt. I... After the first few months, when I'd wrapped my head around it all, I didn't know how to approach you about it. Every conversation I run through my head ended with you either slapping me or laughing at me. Strauss... I did that partially because I wanted to hurt you, and also because I just wanted some kind of reaction from you. It was a mistake. Please, Emily, don't leave."
He loosened his hold so she could move back slightly to look at him. They continued to sway to the music, and when she looked up at him, he could see the tears threatening to ruin her carefully applied make up.
"I have to go," she whispered. "It hurts too much staying here, Dave. I have to see you every day, spend hours with you when I know that you're not mine any more, and it kills me. I watch you go home at night, without me, knowing that I won't be joining you for dinner, or a movie, or just because I can. It hurts, Dave, and I can't do it any more."
The tears spilled out onto her cheeks but she didn't bother trying to wipe them away.
"Emily, when I leave work at night, I want you getting into my car beside me. When we stay in the horrible hotels when we're out on a case, I want you sneaking into my hotel room, or me sneaking into yours. I want to argue over the merits of a movie, and listen to music, or sit in silence and just hold you. I want to wake up to you every morning, and go to bed with you every night. Don't leave me again, Emily. I need you."
She gasped at the last words he spoke. David Rossi never admitted to needing anything, apart from the occasional alcoholic beverage. His words sank into her as he gazed into her eyes. All she could see in his was love, and pain. Pain that she was causing.
She took a deep breath to settle herself before she answered him. "Okay."
He frowned. "That's it? Okay?"
"That's it," she agreed. "I want all that, and more. So okay. I won't leave."
It took a few seconds for her words to penetrate, but she watched as the slow smile appeared on his face, quickly turning into a joyful laugh as he picked her up and spun her around in his arms. Her own laughter joined his as he set her back down, her eyes never leaving his.
"I love you, Dave."
Reviews are love and feed my cravings better than chocolate XD
