Inspiration: I just wanted to address some complaints about Naruto, mostly about how a so called prodigy thought going to a snake for power would be the right idea.

Disclaimer and a bunch of other hinky doodle, Naruto can never be my story, review (please) of what else you might like me to write about! (-3-)/

Our lovely Pink Blossom lips spread thin after reading the latest script. Her temper growing to a popping point after every page.

"Please Naruto! Help! Where are you!?" Sakura roared, "I AM NOT GOING TO BE A USELESS NUMBSKULL AGAIN!" She grabbed a microphone stand and smacked Naruto upright the head.

"J-just for one m-more episode, S-sakura…" Naruto stuttered, keeling over and fainted from blood loss.

"THAT'S THE SAME EXCUSE YOU USED LAST TIME!" The pink haired kunoichi raged on the unconscious hero. Wrecking the voice recorder, cameras and the door to the studio, Jiraiya had trouble keeping tabs on how much of Sakura's pay check he needed to cut out for repairs.

A certain raven haired missing-nin shrugged, "Hey, at least you don't have to play the role of a delusional weirdo who can't go without saying or referencing revenge- revenge- revenge in every sentence…"

"Foolish brother, I'm the one who thought it was a good idea to traumatize you into being a revenge obsessed imbecile, then I died by your idiotic hands." Itachi set down his plate of dango, reached over to grab Sasuke's costume and wiped his mouth on it.

"Hey!"

"We ran out of napkins last week, what do you expect me to do?"

Tobi dragged himself into the room, waving the script dismally, "I have to be a lollipop masked NOBODY! (Sniff) They could have at least gave me an awesome name!" Chibi tears leaked through the eye hole in the mask, while depressing music played from the violin.

Sakura snapped the violin in half. Jiraiya made another note.

Sasori grumbled, peeking his head through the broken doorway, "And I have to get destroyed by a retired old lady and a useless pink obsessed girl…"

When he turned around, two sets of glaring eyes bored murderously into his skull.

Deidara happened to be passing by as Chiyo ripped off Sasori's arm. "My death is even worse, un. I die by bombing! How sad is that, un? BOMBING IS MY LIFE, MY PROFESSION!" Deidara crossed his arms watching Sasori's head getting wrenched off, "Un."

"We will have to get you to see a therapist, one day, Deidara." Itachi sighed, crumpling up wrappers and lightly tossing them into the waste bin, "Pocky anyone?"

"What is up with you and sweets?" Sasuke asked, bewildered.

He sweat dropped when Anko waved wildly, "Pocky!" Cramping the room evermore further.

"You start treasuring whatever you get when you're a S-rank missing-nin," Itachi shrugged.

He sucked on a lollipop while Tobi wailed, "NO! MY BRETHREN!"

Orochimaru hissed, marching past the studio to the director's room, "I'm. A. Pedophile. What. Are. They. Thinking." With that, Sasuke broke into a hysterical laughter, not bothering with the dango stain anymore.

That was until Neiji interrupted with a depressing fact, "Don't even- Sasuke, you went to a pedophile on your own accord."

"...OHHHHH!" Kisame hollered across the room, arms in the air rock star style. His face was later occupied with dango sticks, with a fuming Sasuke holding a plate full of toothpicks.

"Thank god Itachi can eat dango fast when he feels like it," Sasuke's eyes narrowed, preparing another stick to throw, "We need another batch, brother."

Naruto finally recovered, resuming conversation like nothing unusual happened, "Gaara, I'd have to say, you're lucky."

"How so?" The Tanuki's Jinchuuriki applied a thick set of eyeliner.

Naruto grumbled, "You don't have to be the idiot for the whole show, gah, I think I lost my brain cells!"

"You mean 'I am losing' your brain cells." Gaara snapped away the eyeliner and pulled out some lipstick, readdressing his "kanji of love" as Naruto would put it.

"EXACTLY!" Naruto's hands flung up into the air, exasperated. Accidentally knocking Gaara's arm off course, smothering his face with the lipstick.

Kankurou slinked over, "Gaara! You're finally trying out war paint! Although red wouldn't be my first option..."

"NARUTO!" Gaara's killing intent flared dramatically, "I DO NOT WANT TO PLAY MY PART LOOKING LIKE A MOTHER OF WAR! GET ME SOME NAPKINS!"

"But we ran out…"

"Then GO BUY SOME!" Naruto looked down into his wallet, dismayed as a fly flew out.

"I barely even get a part!" Tenten wailed, everyone turned around. Whispering demoralizing comments…(Who is she again?) (I don't know, but she looks like a panda.)

That day, everybody had to go into hiding or else they would have been hunted down and severely disfigured by an Old lady, a Cherry Blossom, and a Panda.

"AH, HA!" Mandara screeched, orchestrating a victory dance, "KISHIMOTO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO KILL MEH! BEAT THAT SUCKERS!"

CLANG!

"Die. A. Painful. Death." Sakura hissed, hitting the man with a dinner plate on every word said.