Anyways, you know when you find something you wrote a while back and then you read it and find yourself cringing at every other sentence. I just had one of those moments with a Pair of Kings/Danny Phantom/Wizards of Waverly Place/Kickin' It x-over that I started who-knows-how-long ago and GAAAH. I can't even begin to express how bad it is. BTW, that little anecdote is completely and utterly unrelated to this, but I just thought I'd share.
Warning: includes a demon bird, a very angry girlfriend, a boyfriend wearing an apron, and the death of a cake.
Inspired By: The infuriatingly addictive game we like to call Flappy Bird, as well as a How To Train Your Dragon/Rise of the Guardians pic I saw on deviantart that I can't remember the name of.
Baking is Jack's secret talent.
He really has absolutely no idea how he got into it. His father's side of the family were all health nuts, and tended to shy away from sweets. His mother's side didn't really like his father's side, so the young teen has never really seen any of them.
Whatever.
His favorite part is frosting and decorating (but you didn't hear that from him). There are so many different ways a cake could look. He knows that from watching hours of Cake Boss on Netflix. Considering the fact that he's baking just for the heck of it, he has no idea what to do.
He stares at the unfrosted cake, pondering and absently messing with the string on his apron. He doesn't want to make any frosting until he knows exactly what he's going to do. He decides to give it to Kim, since it has buttercream icing (her favorite), which makes it that much more important to decide what to make it look like.
Fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, da-ling!, fwoo, fwoo, da-ling!, fwoo, da-ling!, fwoo, smack!
"GAH! Stupid bird! Stop dying!"
He briefly considers asking his girlfriend, who is sitting in the living room.
Fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, da-ling!, fwoo, fwoo, smack!
"ARGH! I swear if you were real I would cook you and eat you in front of your children!"
He decides not.
Fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, da-ling!, smack!
"OH, COME ON! IT DIDN'T EVEN HIT THE POLE THAT TIME!"
What can he possibly make his cake look like?
Fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, da-ling!, fwoo, da-ling!, fwoofwoofwoo, da-ling!, fwoo, fwoo, smack!
"That's it!" There's a loud clatter, suggesting the blonde had thrown the device across the room. "You're clearly just some random freaking piece of crap that decided to exist one day and torture as many people as you possibly can! What are you anyway?! A duck?! A cyclops?! There's no way of freaking knowing! You're just some freak of nature! GO BACK TO WHATEVER MARIO-SOUND-EFFECT-STEALING DEMON WORLD THAT YOU CAME FROM AND JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! GAAAAAH!"
Jack blinks, looking in the direction of the living room, concerned at the sudden silence. Then, footsteps.
Fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, fwoo, da-ling!, smack!
His frown deepens at the lack of an outburst, but then he smiles. He knows what he's going to make his cake look like.
Kim stares at the cake.
And stares.
And stares.
'Try Harder' it reads, with the whole cake frosted to look like that blasted bird. She she looks up at her boyfriend, who's grinning like an idiot. Without taking her eyes off of him, she promptly smacks the underside of plate. The cake goes flying and lands a few feet away.
Jack stares at where it landed, lips pursed. "That was buttercream."
Now Kim is staring at it, too. "Oh."
Jack looks back at her.
Kim looks at him.
"Wanna make out?"
"Sure."
So that happened. Hah hah. BAIZ.
Until next time,
~BP
10/19/14 Edit: Response to Reviews-
EB: BP, I don't even know anymore xD I kinda like this new writing style, but it's a little confusing. Also, can you make a part 2 for They Will Pay? Thanks :D
Again, I have no idea what to do for a Part 2 of They Will Pay. Any suggestions?
Alex: Omg! I was crying my eyes out with laughter at Kim's last outburst! It was sooo freakin' true! You are an Amazing author, words can't even describe how Amazing your writing skills are
Why, thank you, thank you very much. :D
KickLeoliviaAusllyRauraBrase: LOL! I love your oneshots so frickin much!
OMG! I love your reviews so frickin much! :)