beauty is the nature of the heart, seeing past the skin to whats inside. I'm drawn to this beauty. past the lies, and what others think to what truly makes a person beautiful. I'm ashamed to say that Ive played along with my friends out of fear of what they may think. Ive disrespected those who others thought were disgusting, ugly, or just creepy in one way or another. i see what others don't in a person and i feel this sense of longing for that kind of perfect person. people are blind to this and it makes me sad and lonely. i am right now feeling something i dont like, a constant adrenaline hit every time i see her picture and yet there's nothing i choose to do, nothing i think i can do. I'm afraid of what may or may not happen. I'm not one with a lot of fear left. Ive said fuck it and do things that others may think is crazy or retarded and always dealt with the consequences, but when it comes to her, I'm speechless, i get scared, i cant look her in the eyes, and i feel like I'm being judged. she is my obsession and i feel horrible using that term. my heart tells me go, but my mind knowing the consequences al to well tells me no in fear of whats happened in the past. what can i do, what should i think, and most of all what do i say when i see her?