I have lost my breath for a while now. I couldn't shake the feeling of desperation and I was ……in great need of release. The man I admired and adored hovered over me. His lips forming into a smirk before they touched mine. This feeling that grew in my lower abandon. It grew till it spreads through my body like an stormy ocean . Ready to destroy everything that lay in his path.

Our tongues were battling for domination and our hands were looking for something to hold on. There was nothing to hold but our heated body's . Melting into one life form. The kisses, the so called struggle and the air seemed to increase in temperature. Our moans ,our groans and our slapping flesh were the only sounds that could be heard in the ones cold and untidy room.

I blushed even more then I thought I ever could. It's still untidy.

You don't have to guess why ….

He looked at me, still grinning, But .. The love was there ,evident in his eyes. I love him..Oh my god !I love him.

I had my eyes closed for a while and I never wanted to open them. Because reality would struck into me like a burned stick….right trough my heart. Reality would show me that this was all a dream, that he was not here ,but in the other world where he was supposed to be.

'Yuuki', he whispered my name like a prayer,' open your eyes'. I whimpered and didn't react in time to his request . I kept my eyes closed and felt that he was losing his patience .

'Yuuki', his voice more demanding,' open your eyes and look at me…… and see what I see'. I didn't understand, but neither was I frightened by his demand . I only felt anticipation for what I was about see.

I opened them, very slowly and when I looked in his eyes .I could see everything that the world was showing him. The messy sheets ,my body -covered with sweat ,My hair halo and my lips bruised of all his wild kisses. He saw me. He was looking at me with lust, love and pride. And that's what I saw when I looked into his crimson eyes. It aroused my like no other.

He was still moving inside of me ,gripping my hips firmly .I tried to meet my hips with his but he stopped me from moving. I paid no heed ,for he wants to take charge .

For what he could do to my body , he all knew to well. That's why he couldn't stop smirking. His thrusts became harder and faster. I threw my arms around and brought him ( if that was possible) even closer. My breath was cut short and I knew I was close to the oh so needed release.

Oh he knew to well .

His pupils widened and he mumbled my name before we both fell from our climax . It took a while before we stopped panting . He slipped out of me and changed our positions ,where I was laying on top of him so he wouldn't crush me with his weight.

I started to draw circles on his chest, while he was stroking my hair out of my face. He looked at me again and asked : 'Are you ok ?' .I laughed and slapped him on his chest before I hummed in contentment 'Oh I'm fine '.

There was no response ,so when I looked our eyes met. He looked sad . Was he sad because he had to wait 10 years till I gained my memories? Was he sad because he was afraid of losing me again? And for one second I could've sworn that he was about to cry. But he didn't. He smiled at me ,still stroking my hair. I didn't understand, but the worst part was that I couldn't speak and find the right words to sooth his pain . Instead I decided to kiss him.

I brought his face closer to mine and I brushed our lips together. First teasing. I licked his lips and I let my tongue slip through his mouth while I started to challenge his tongue for a duel. He accepts and fought back without mercy. I wanted to taste more of him, feel more of him . We were kissing and biting on each other's exposed skin. Our kisses grew more with passion and desire. J pulled back and I was about to lift myself up to let hem in but he stopped me.

I felt surprised and confused of my rejected need , I frowned .

'What is it ? You don't want to love me again?' I tried not to let the fear get through my voice ,but I know that it was already shown in my eyes. He shook his head and chuckled at my cute display. 'I think that you are to tired for another round'.

Ha ! Is that it ! let me show him what this woman is capable off.

I licked my lips and said with my playful voice that he couldn't resist: ' Wanna bet ?!'

He chuckled even harder and got suddenly serious but the playful teasing was still evident in his voice. 'Then tell me ,Yuuki?'

I bit my lower lip and winked with my eye (he always said that I looked promiscuous that way).

'The bet is that if you let me do whatever I want to do with you , then I'm at your service all day long', I said . He grinned ,and his eyes hold a dark promise that made me shiver. And if you are smart enough to notice this then you'll also notice that the shiver has nothing to do with the cold breeze that came from the open window, for I'm still bare.

He suddenly took the sitting position with me on his lap and he pulled himself inside of me. I gasped . The feeling of him filling my deepest secret garden where no one was allowed to enter but him was……more then I could handle. It felt perfect, I felt complete .He was holding my hips with an iron grip and showed me how I could move along with him. We kissed and kissed again like there was no tomorrow and our hands were exploring and searching for each others sensitive spots.

When he felt that I could move with my own pace, his hand went to my left breast and squeezed hard . He brought the already hard nipple to his awaiting tongue to feed upon. His free went down between my thighs to attack my clit mercilessly .

'Aaahhh Ka-na-me-e Sa..Maaaa!!

Up..down..Up ..down..Up..down..

I loved the feeling of him inside of me . I knew he and I were close but I wished that he could stay inside of me forever. Embracing each other, soothing each others pain and loving each other for how long eternity may last .

I never want this to stop. Because if this was heaven….. if this was ………h-hea-…...

I blinked for a moment and in that moment I found out that reality is brutal ,mean and so demonic cruel.

The man that I made love to ,was slowly disappearing.

The man I loved changed into a shadow, a mist that I could never see through ,it was fading ,vanishing into the sunlight that was shining through -the causing wind - dancing curtains.

A voice was heard. It sounded worrisome, but that still did not explain what happened just now. Was this all just a dream. Nothing but a dream. I broke right there and then. I kept crying ,letting all my sorrows go and all of a sudden, I felt two strong arms around my waist ,keeping me from falling off the bed.

'What's wrong?', asked the worrisome voice. And suddenly it came all down to me. I finally understood.

This was another room. Another man (my husband), Another bed, and deep inside, Another woman. I calmed down and felt him kissing my tears away. But I felt nothing but a deep depression, poring my ribs, and it keeps telling what a fool I am for letting my guard down and let my true feelings ,desire and nostalgia slip for one moment. Even if I was asleep . For I promised myself that this would never happen again.

He kissed my lips and pulled away when he asked me the same question again. I looked up at him and saw that he was already dressed up and ready for work. I shook my head in response and said ,not even close to a whisper, while I tried to put up a fake smile : 'Yes, I'm fine'.

He kissed me again and said: 'I'll be home by noon this time. Do you want me to get something for you?'

A honest question, should be rewarded with a honest answer. But I was to tired to reply so I just nodded and when he left me in this very warm and tidy room ,I curled up like a ball on my bed …..and cried .Like there was no tomorrow….

And whispered his name ,for only the wind can embrace the sound that had left my lips .

'Kaname'……