One Minute To Midnight
He drops the mug into the sink a lot harder than he needs to. The clinking of the mug against the metal sink echoes through the apartment. Another mug drops into the sink and hits against the one already there. He furiously washes them then lays them in the drainer with more force than is called for. He dries his hands on a dish towel then look around for something else to do.
He picks up all the baby clothes and toys scattered around the living room; putting them in the various baskets. When that task is complete he sweeps the floor; afraid the roar of a vacuum will wake the sleeping baby. With the sweeping done and the dust pan emptied in the garbage bin he moves on to the bathroom. After every surface is sparkling from his attention he strips of the gloves and makes his way to the bedroom.
He glances down at his watch; ten-thirty-five. A sigh leaves his lips when he enters the room. It's their space, his and his boyfriends. It's the place where they come together, where they share their thoughts and secrets. The place where they express their love; where they are safe yet at their most vulnerable. These are the walls that hold their cries of ecstasy when they make love. Nothing is as equipoise like when their bodies come together; skin brushing against skin, tongues tasting and teasing and bodies erupting with love and need. It's their favorite place. He takes care in cleaning it. Putting everything thing in its rightful place.
The apartment is fresh and almost new, like the first day together in the space; before life kicked in and dirt started to gather between cracks. He looks at his watch again; eleven-fifteen. He takes a water bottle from the refrigerator and gulps it down in one long drink. Making things clean is hard work and it certainly leaves you dehydrated.
"Will, I thought you went to bed already." He removes the empty water bottle from his lips and sees Gabi standing at her bedroom door. She moves towards him, wrapping the rope around her body as she comes closer. "Are you ok?"
Will throws the empty bottle into the garbage then leans against the kitchen counter. "I'm fine. Is Ari awake? Do you need me to make a bottle." He turns to remove a bottle from the drainer. Her hand reaches out to still his movements.
"Ari is fine. She is still very much asleep. I just needed some water."
"Oh, ok." He moves from her side to retrieve bottled water from the refrigerator. He hands it to her.
"You sure you're ok?"
"I'm sure." Will gives her a smile but she recognizes the falseness of it. He walks away and takes a seat on the couch.
Gabi moves around the couch where she can look directly at him. Will shows everything in his eyes. The lighting in the room is soft, with just the kitchen light on but she can still see the blue through the dimness. "Is Sonny home yet?"
A heavy sigh leaves his lips and shoulders as Will lies back against the couch. "No, he's not."
His eyes are burning but he continues to go through the documents on his tablet. He's been stuck on the same page for half-an-hour but he is determined to get through it. The quietness of the coffee house is in total contrast to how it was a few hours ago and he figured now is a good time to work on the finances. He is fully caught up with all the bookkeeping but it never hurts to be ahead and he certainly has the time.
Two weeks ago we would have been begging for more hours in the day. Now there are a few hours he could do without. He tries not to think about it and focus on what is right in front of him. He wants to make sure all is ready and the stability is there for them to expand the business. Just yesterday he and Chad looked at a space right on Salem U campus; it is small but they figured that would be the best way to start out and a spot on campus would cater to all the students and faculty who don't always have the time to come into the town. And it just might take some of the pressure off their current location.
Focusing on Common Grounds is a great way to keep him busy; to use up those extra hours dancing in his hands. Will won't mind; he probably won't even notice. A yawn reminds him that he's been up since six am. He looks at his watch; ten-thirty-five. When did it get so late? But he isn't ready to go home yet. Not before he finishes what he started.
A knock sounds against the door to Common Grounds. Tired eyes look away from the tablet to the source. He sees the shadow of someone behind the door and wonders who could be there at this time of the night. He gets up from the booth and goes to the door. "We're closed!" He shouts when he gets closer.
"I know. Sonny it's me." He smiles and opens the door to the visitor.
"What the hell are you doing here man?"
Brent walks by Sonny and enters Common Grounds. "I saw your light on, figured you were still here." Sonny closes the door and walks back to his booth. "What are you still doing here? You're usually dashing out by closing time?" Brent takes a seat across from him and Sonny smiles at his friend.
"Working. Something us family men do." He drops the cover on the tablet and leans back in the booth.
"I get the feeling there is more to it than that."
Gabi takes a seat beside Will but he keeps looking straight ahead. He was hoping she would just return to her room and ignore her friend but there is no chance of that. "Is something going on between you two?"
She shares a home with Will and Sonny. She has watched them stand side by side cooing over Arianna or making funny faces to get her to laugh. Taking turns pacing the floor and singing to Arianna when she is fussy and refuses to go to sleep. She's seen them wrapped up in each other when they thought they were alone. So she is aware that something is off.
"You want to talk about it?"
"Ah, there's nothing to talk about. Sonny and I are fine." Its Will's nature to get defensive and pretend that everything is okay but he looks lost and in need.
She looks down at the couch and asks the question that has been bothering her. "Is is because of me and Arianna?"
"No Gabi, no, its…" He spins around to face her and takes her hand. Will desperately wants to reassure her. Whatever problem he and Sonny are having is no Gabi's or Arianna's fault. He never wants her to think that. "You and Ari are great and we love having you here with us. It's just… Sonny and I, we haven't been spending a lot of time together."
"I noticed." Will looks at her in surprise. "Will, I live here too. You're sure it's not because of me and Arianna because he use to spend so much time with her; I would practically have to wrestle her away from him." She laughs and the sound sends guilt spreading across his chest.
"Gabi I'm sure it's not you or Ari. It's me. I'm just a complete idiot."
"Come on Sonny talk to me. What's going on with you and Will?" Sonny looks at his friend and registers the concern on his face. It surprises him; Brent was never a cheerleader for his settled down life style.
"Nothing is going on. We're fine." He can't keep the eye contact as the lie drips from his lips.
"Ya, right. That's why you are sitting here alone instead of running home." He shakes his head at his friend. "Look Sonny. I've never been a fan of Will or this life you have going with him. For me it's just all a bit too much too soon. But Sonny I can see that you love Will and you love where you are so…" He spreads his fingers across the table as if laying all his cards out. "I just want you to be happy and I can tell you're not." He takes a deep breath. "Are you having second thoughts?"
Sonny runs his hand through his hair and raises his eyes to meet Brent's. "No. I just. It feels like I am fighting to be somewhere I'm not wanted."
Will looks at his watch; eleven-thirty-three. He looks up to find Gabi staring at him. "I was afraid he was giving up too much."
"Will what did you do?"
He pushed Sonny away. The person he loves so much and never wants to hurt. The person who means the world to him. He pushed him away because he didn't want to be a burden and he thought that's exactly what he was; a noose around Sonny's neck choking him. So he figured if he didn't want to lose Sonny it meant only keeping a small part of him close.
He pulled himself and Ari away. Thinking he was giving Sonny time. Time to spend with his friends and to maintain some semblance of the life he had before Will complicated things. When Sonny would wake up in the middle of the night to help with Ari Will would let him know that he and Gabi could manage on their own. When Ari was crying and Sonny offered to take her Will was there to decline. When they took Arianna out Sonny was never invited. Will pushed and pushed until Sonny stopped offering himself to Arianna and he stopped offering himself to Will.
He thought he would be okay with only half a Sonny. But he isn't ok and neither is his daughter.
"Will are you crazy! Why would you do that? Sonny loves you and Arianna and I don't think he is sticking around out of a sense of obligation. If he didn't want this life with you then he would have walked away a long time ago."
"Yeah, I've come to that conclusion, thanks to the wisdom of some concerned family members." He leans his head into his palm and worries about how Sonny is feeling; not coming home is very telling. He sent Will a text saying he was finishing up some work at the coffee house but Will knows that's just an excuse.
He feels like everything he loves is slipping through his fingers. Will and Arianna mean the world to him but maybe that's not enough. Maybe there is something Will wants from him that he can't give. Will drifting away and pulling Arianna with him hurts more than he can explain to Brent. He can't find the words to express how scared and wounded he feels every time he walks through the door of their apartment – their home.
Sonny is aware that a lot has happened really fast between him and Will. It hasn't even been a year since their first date and now they are living together and raising Will's daughter. A couple of their friends have compared them to a married couple and maybe that's what scares Will. He just isn't ready for a commitment of that magnitude. But for Sonny, the second he made the decision to be a part of Will and Arianna's life, he committed himself for life. There may not have been the whisper of 'till death does up part' but that doesn't mean he didn't feel it. Will is running scared and Sonny is too tired to give chase.
Maybe Will isn't scared. Perhaps he just isn't in love with Sonny anymore. His dad told him that Will's daughter would come first in his life and Sonny isn't arguing with that. But maybe that's about as much as Will can handle right now. He can't be angry with Will for wanting to focus on his daughter and his daughter alone. In any instance where does it leave him; on the outside looking in like a beggar at the rich man's gate.
"Sonny. Snap out of it. Go home and talk to Will. Work this out because I hate seeing you like this." Brent gets up from the booth and pulls Sonny up with him. Sonny laughs in disbelief at Brent urging him to go to Will.
He looks down at his watch; eleven-thirty-three. "Will is probably asleep by now. I'll just crash here and go home in the morning."
"Are you waiting up for Sonny?" Gabi gets up from the couch, yawning from lack of proper sleep.
"I don't know why, he probably doesn't want to talk to me." He runs his hands over his face and throws himself down on the couch.
"Well goodnight. I need to get some sleep before Ari wakes up." She hates that things are going bad for Will and Sonny. She stops short of entering her room. "Will. Good luck. I know it will work out."
Will sighs into the cushions. Adrianne said he wasn't good enough. But even now, when he knows he has made a mistake, he still disagrees with her. Yes, he could have handled things better but he knows no one will ever love Sonny as much as he does. And that makes him good enough.
He checks the coffee table for his phone and when he doesn't find it he goes into their bedroom. It's resting on their dresser, right beside the cocoa tin that protects Sonny's New Year's wish. Will looks at it and wonders if Sonny put a wish in for this year. He knows he shouldn't but he picks up the can and opens it. There is a single piece of paper inside. He removes and reads; 'get Will Horton to fall in love with me'.
His stumbles to their bed and drops onto it. The ache starts in his chest then engulfs his body. Sonny is still waiting for him. Moisture gathers in his eyes as he continues to hold the piece of paper. Doesn't Sonny how much he loves him? How can he not know that he holds everything in his hands?
Will jumps up from the bed. Puts the piece of paper back into the tin, returns it to its spot then grabs his phone and car keys. If Sonny doesn't want to come home then he will just have to take home to him. He looks at his watch; one minute to midnight.
He is standing in the living room. Taking note of how tidy it all looks. Will or Gabi must have cleaned up today. He fingers the ears of Arianna's rabbit. The smile can't be helped when he thinks about her curled up in her bassinet with her rabbit beside her; her little fingers wrapped around one of its ears.
Sonny releases a heavy breath when he lets go of the rabbit and looks towards their bedroom door. That room use to be their favorite place. Now it only knows strained conversations and silence. Silence enough to fill a thousand rooms.
He moves towards it slowly. Will is probably asleep but will be awake soon to feed Arianna; a task Sonny use to enjoy sharing with him. He looks down at the watch on his wrist; one minute to midnight. Sonny opens the door and enters.
Will is about to walk through the door when it swings inwards. He is frozen at the sight of Sonny standing there as if he conjured him. He doesn't think. Not thinking lands him in Sonny arms with his hands wrapped tightly around Sonny's neck. His fears drift away when he feels Sonny pull him fully into his body, arms strong and crushing around Will's waist.
Will standing at the door shocks his senses. His eyes land directly on blue ones and he drowns in it. When Will wraps his arms around his neck his body reacts the only way it can; it holds on to Will. He pulls Will in as close as he can, wanting to feel every inch of Will against his body. He needs to know that this is real.
Will pulls his head from Sonny's neck and finds his lips. He feasts on the lips and tongue of the man that turns every obstacle to dust. They pull at clothes and skin as they inch towards the bed. Will pauses in ravishing his man long enough to whisper. "Thanks for coming home."
The taste of Will is familiar and new. Sonny gets lost in the feel of their bodies finding each again. This is all the talking they need for now; the beginning of their new day. They are at the edge of the bed and Will is about to fall backwards on it when he pauses and whispers words that melt Sonny's heart. A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. "There is nowhere else I'd rather be."
The End