ohmygosh i haven't written anything in almost a year. but then this episode happened and i found myself hearing about one coma fic after another. and then this idea came to me and it didn't involve comas, which i figured might be a good thing :) warning: this story was never designed to have a happy ending.
don't own the characters or the show.
It's funny. They say that when you are about to die, a million images run through your mind. Memories, like screen shots of your life. Like a giant flip book, you see yourself as a child, innocently riding a bicycle, a teenager making out with your first boyfriend, a young adult balancing the new found responsibilities with the need for freedom.
But for Katherine Beckett, none of this happened. For those few seconds between life and death, between one world and the next, she waited. As the pain spread, she hoped those moments, those images, those memories, would arise, to take her mind off what was happening. To remind her that her life did mean something. She had achieved goals. She had loved. She had lived.
Instead however, she saw a moment in time, somewhere far in the future. She felt the rain pelt down on her face, as she ran out of a building. An apartment building. She heard someone yell her name. No, that was what was happening now, in reality. Richard Castle, screaming for her to stay with him. She tried, but felt the future image reappear.
And now someone was calling her name again. She could almost taste the saltiness, the difference between the rain and her tears. She felt a hand on her arm. Back to reality, back to the pain. Castle begging her, begging her to wake up.
And then back to that dream state, between now and later. Neither here nor there. She felt the pull as someone tugged her around to face them. Castle. That look on his face. Regret, sorrow, pleading with her. Was this reality or was this her dream? She tried to focus into reality again, just for a moment. Saw Castle's face, lost it again.
He was begging with her not to go, that they could work things out. The rain continued to pelt down on them. A drip slowly made its way to the tip of her nose. 'But why?' she heard herself ask him.
'Because I love you.'
Those three words sounded so familiar, like she was hearing them over and over. She twitched her fingers trying to will herself to concentrate on what was really happening.
'I love you, I love you Kate.'
She felt herself slip back into the rain, the cold. A smile played on her lips, as she realised the truth that had been there the whole time.
In the future memory, she wrapped her arms around Castle, pulled him close, smelt his scent. And they just stayed there, two people, clinging on to one another out of pure desperation and love.
In reality, in the split millisecond before there was nothing, the pain overtook her. The overwhelming realisation that she was unable to make any of that happen.
And then darkness.