Hi its blue pikmin-chan! I have always wondered what it would be like if the Varia had to work normal jobs. Sorry if it is a bit ooc. I tried to keep it in character. Anyway, I hope you like it! I don't own KHR

The Varia had a problem. They didn't have much money. Even going on missions was not enough. They had to go out and get jobs. Everyone wished Mammon was still there. If he had been, none of this would have ever happened. So it started. Every day they picked one name out of the hat and one job. For everyone else, the day was as usual.

It was time to pick the first name. Everyone was hoping it wasn't them. Fran was doing a funny little dance with his fingers crossed. The name came out. It was Belphegor. And the job was teacher. Poor, poor Bel. He was going a funny shade of purple.

Day 1 Belphegor

Job: Substitute teacher

9:00 am

"Okay class, settle down!" said the principal. "Your teacher is sick today so you will have a substitute. YOU WILL BEHAVE! Got that?"

Already a look of glee was spreading across every student's face. They would have a substitute teacher? They could do whatever they wanted! At that moment, their teacher walked in. he was a bit strange… to say the least. He wore a crown and was grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"Ushishishi, I am Belphegor, your teacher for the day" he said. The principal left the room. "What do you normally do this time of day?" he asked.

One of the kids in the back row blew a raspberry at him. A knife landed in the wall, dangerously close to where his head had been. "Don't do that again" Bel said in a dangerously calm voice. The kid was shaking.

"Mr. um Bel is it? We usually have English class now" said a girl in the front row.

"Okay, English it is" said Bel. He was already wishing for the end of the class. "How do you spell annoying little piece of peasant shit?" he asked in a mock serious voice. Half the class was horrified; the other half was looking at him in awe. One of the other girls in the front row, obviously trying to suck up, raised her hand.

"A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G L-I-T-T-L-E P-I-E-C-E O-F P-E-A-S-A-N-T S-H-I-T" she said. This did not impress Bel. He didn't like suck ups.

He ignored it and proceeded to write up some rules on the whiteboard. Rule number 1. Don't annoy the prince, 2. Don't suck up; the prince doesn't like it, 3. ... Of course now was the moment for the marker to run out of ink. He screamed and snapped it in half.

Just then his phone rang. It was Fran. "Hey fake prince senpai! Guessing work isn't going so well." He sounded like he was laughing.

"Why would that be froggie?" he asked, again in that dangerously calm voice.

"Look on YouTube" was the reply he got. Fran hung up. Bel went on one of the computers in the classroom. Fran sent him a message saying 'teacher fail' so that was what he typed in. A video of him swearing and snapping the marker came up.

"Which one of you little shits uploaded this?" he asked, turning scarlet. No-one came forward and that was probably a good thing, considering what would happen if he found out the culprit. The rest of the lesson passed similarly until the recess bell.

Next he was going to teach math. He didn't like this class. They were all annoying peasants. He started the lesson. "Now class, what would I get if I added 5 dead smart-asses to 7 dead smart –asses?" he drew out the equation on the white board, illustrating with a lot of detail. A few members of the class went pale. He really was a pretty good drawer.

"We are in grade 5. Why are you teaching us simple addition?" asked one bold student. Belphegor scowled. He started writing long division on the board. After what seemed like an eternity, he stopped. He must have written at least 100 sums.

"Finish this by lunch" he said, a few of his oddly shaped knives appearing and, with a flick of his wrist, they hit the wall, in a perfect outline of the boy in the back row, texting on his phone.

The exhausted students were heading out the door for lunch when the principal came to check on Bel. "I'm sorry to have dumped this class on you on your very first teaching job. They're quite a handful"

"No kidding" replied Bel. Just then the principal saw how much work the students had done. His jaw practically hit the ground. Even with their regular teacher, they had never done this much work.

"How did you get them to concentrate for this long?" he asked.

"I have my ways "said Bel, a cryptic smile spreading across his face. "After lunch I was thinking about teaching art. We could do some paintings with warm colours". The principal gave him the thumbs up and left the room.

Lunch ended and the students were wandering around in the corridors, looking for their friends and retrieving books from their lockers. As Bel walked through the throng of people, trying to find the art room, there was silence. Then it started. All the teenage girls screamed and mobbed him, asking him out and calling him hot. He ignored them for as long as possible and then grew tired of it so he called Squalo. On the third ring there was an answer.

"VOIIIIIIIII WHAT DO YOU WANT? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING!" Bel put him on speakerphone. People moved away, deafened by the sheer volume.

"I'm trying long haired commander but these annoying girls are in my way!" he yelled hoping Squalo would answer the way he normally did.

"Kill them and get on with it!" Success! The girls moved out of the way and ran to their lockers. He went to the art room and got paint. He also grabbed some other supplies.

"Ushishishi okay class, you worked well so we're going to do some painting". The students noticed most of the paints were in shades of red. This was a little worrying. Bel got a paintbrush and demonstrated. First, he drew the outline of a person in black. Then came the expression of horror. Then, he added the blood, so much blood. In the end it was a picture of a person dying on the ground with their throat ripped out. A lot of the class had gone pale but it was oddly captivating, you couldn't look away. At the bottom, he signed with the name, prince the ripper.

He told the class to paint a picture with bold, warm colours, then sat back at the desk and rested his eyes for a minute. The second he closed his eyes, he got a phone call. It was like Squalo had a built in slacking off sensor. He ignored the call. 45 minutes later he looked at everyone's artwork. There were a lot of autumn tree paintings and a lot of flowers. No-one around here had any imagination. Oh well. It was nearly over. They packed up at the final bell rang. Bel was glad it was over. He collected his wages for the day and headed back to the Varia mansion

End of day 1

Amount of money earned: $350 (Bel thought he deserved more but it was money and that's what matters)

Ok so chapter 1 is finally done. How was it? I am open to suggestions as to who the next person and job will be. Anyway please R and R^^