Disclaimer: SVU and EO are not mine. This takes place after Calvin is taken away from Olivia. Saw that coming, btw. I knew they weren't going to let her keep Calvin. They love to torture El and Liv. This is a oneshot. El comforts Liv after Calvin is taken away. EO all the way. Nothing is mine, that is known to be someone else's anyway.
Temporary Home
By Julia
Olivia Benson ws lying on her couch. Used tissues were lying around her and on the floor. She was listening to Temporary Home, by Carrie Underwood. It was a very sad song and that's what set her off. She had it as loud as it would go but not so loud it would disturb neighbors. She paused it when she heard the knock on the door. She got up to get it. She was in pjs, her hair a mess. It was pulled up in a clip. She opened the door, revealing her partner, Elliot Stabler. She said, "Why are you here?" She didn't step back to let him in. She didn't want to talk about it, and she knew that's what he wanted to do.
Elliot nodded, as if he knew what she was thinking. "We have to talk about this, Olivia." He said, leaning against her doorframe.
Normally, that would have turned her knees to jelly. She just couldn't appreciate it right now. She shook her head. "Elliot, I don't want to talk. That is the last thing I want to do." She still refused to move. If she let him in, he would want to talk. He just couldn't make her if she didn't want to.
Elliot thought that she still looked beautiful. Even with her hair a mess and wearing old sweats and what looked to be his gray hoodie. He wasn't sure where she had gotten it, but it was his, alright. He had to figure out some way to get her to talk. He said, "Liv, seriously. We have to talk. I know that you're upset right now but I really think it will help you." He was not going to go away until Olivia agreed to talk to him.
Olivia had a feeling he wasn't going to leave until she moved and let him in. He'd stay outside her apartment if he had to. She sighed. Any other time, and she'd insist on being right, but she just didn't have the energy. She sighed and stepped back, letting him in. She closed the door behind him, and headed to her couch. She took out another tissue from the almost empty box and blew her nose. She finally said, "So, talk." She ran a hand through some hair that had fallen out of her clip.
Elliot joined her on the couch. He wanted to put his arms around her, and fix this for her. He wished that he could. He leaned back on the couch, holding his arms in his lap. He watched Olivia sit there, wiping her face with a fresh tissue. "Looks like I should have brought you some fresh tissues." He said, looking at her.
Olivia shook hear head, reaching down beside the couch and pulled up another box. It was brand new. She slapped it on the coffee table, making no moves to clean up any of the used tissues. "So talk. What do you have to say to me?" She repeated, turning to look at him. She looked so angry and annoyed, but there was also a glimmer of love in those brown eyes.
Elliot was remembering the day they had taken Calvin away. It had been two weeks ago. It had been obvious to him since that OIivia hadn't been dealing very well since. She had been closed off and withdrawen. He had remembered feeling like himself, Calvin, and Olivia being a little family. He actually had a few tears well up in his eyes because of it. He had been willing to lie so that Olivia could keep Calvin. He loved her that much. He knew that she had appreciated it, even if they hadn't discussed it. He said, "Liv, you were letting yourself get attached to that kid. I can understand why. But tell me how you feel. I want to know." He ached to reach out and brush her hair out of her eyes, it was messily falling out of its clip.
Olivia gave him a look, not sure if she wanted to be sarcastic or not. She knew that she was just pushing him away when he was just trying to be there for her. She wiped at her eyes with the tissue again. Her eyes were getting a little raw. She had thought that she couldn't cry anymore. She apparently could. She said, her voice shaking more than a little, "How do you think I'm feeling? I'm very depressed about Calvin leaving. I know that it was just temporary, but I loved him a lot." She wiped her nose with a shaking hand.
Elliot now reached over and put his arm around her. She very reluctantly laid her head on his shoulder, burying her face in his neck. She breathed in deeply, and he felt wetness on his neck as she sobbed into his shoulder. She let it all go, something she usually didn't do with him. He held her as closely as he could. He wanted her to feel safe and loved. He did. Loved her with every fiber of his being. He wanted to be there for her however he could. She was shaking uncontrollably. She clutched at his chest with shaking hands. He rubbed her back. "You OK, babe?" He asked, catching the slip of a nickname he didn't have the right to call her.
Olivia started at the use of the name. He rubbed his hand on her back again. He hugged her tighter. Olivia said, "You called me babe." She couldn't dare to let herself hope that she could have him. She pulled back a little to look at him. She couldn't let herself want him. She didn't think that she was ready to let herself imagine she could have it. Plus, with the way she was feeling it wasn't the best idea. She said, "El, you called me babe." She was still shocked.
Elliot had a panicked look on his face. He wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to tell her how he really felt. He just wasn't sure that he should. Even if he did love her with all of his heart. He just didn't think this was the right time. He nodded, for lack of anything else to say or do. He said, "Yeah, I did. Just ignore it. Tell me how you're feeling."
Olivia didn't want to tell him how she felt. She wanted to know why he had called her babe. She didn't want to talk about her feelings. She wanted to know if he'd called her that because he loved her. She held onto him as tightly as she could. She was too scared to ask him why he'd called her that. She said, "I feel empty. Like I will never love anything ever again. I don't know what to do to feel better."
Elliot hugged her tighter. He felt so bad for her. He wished he could do something to help her other than just being there for her. He said, "It's going to take time, Olivia." He didn't think that they needed to discuss what had almost happened with Vivian, but clearly Olivia did.
Olivia pulled away a little to look at him. She asked. "So why did you offer to just go along with what Vivian offered? You could have gotten fired." She looked into his blue eyes.
Elliot was stumped as how to answer her. He wasn't sure that he should be completely honest with her. It would most likely end in drama. He looked into her brown eyes. He couldn't help but be honest. They were huge, and full of tears. Her eyes, that is. He took a deep breath. "Liv, I am going to be honest with you. I was willing to do that for you because I am in love with you." His voice cracked a little as tears filled his eyes.
Olivia was clearly not expecting him to say that, although she had known for five years. That incident with Gitano had let everything out in the open. It had been very awkward between them for awhile afterwards. She wasn't sure how to say now how she felt about that. Elation was her first thought. But she wasn't sure what to say. She wiped a few tears off her cheeks. It wasn't every day that the guy you were in love with told you he loved you, too. She said with a shaky breath, "I love you, too." She wondered what they would do now.
Elliot knew what to do. He pressed a kiss to her lips, totally knowing that this was completely the wrong time to do this but not able to stop himself. His hand tangled in her hair. She broke the kiss just before his tongue could enter her mouth. He knew she had kissed him back. He asked, "You OK, Olivia? Was that a bad idea?" He took her hands.
Olivia shook her head. "I love you. More than anyone else I have ever loved. I just can't be with you right now. I want to but if we're going to do this, it needs to be done right. You have to tell Kathy. I don't want to help you cheat on her. Thanks for coming over, but I need to be alone now."
With one last kiss, Elliot got up to leave her apartment. Things had to change, and he was going to have to change them. He said, "I hope you feel better, Liv." He touched her arm and she closed the door. Maybe they'd get each other out of this. Couldn't be all bad.
