Let's get the story straight
You were a poison
You flooded through my veins
You left me broken...
It had been years since the Teen Titans were made. Beast Boy had never regretted joining them, not once, and yet here he was. The green teenager was perched on a street corner, a duffle-bag thrown over his shoulder as he waited for the ten-o-clock bus.
He had tried to keep them together, had tried to stop them from falling apart, but he had given up. Deep down Garfield, minutes ago known as Beast Boy, knew that he should have tried harder. If he had then maybe he wouldn't be sitting where he was.
The Titans hadn't broken up, far from it, he had just left. Beast Boy had quit the Teen Titans, he had just left them on their own to fall apart, and he was already hating himself.
It wasn't that he wanted to leave, he had just wanted to get away from them for a little bit, too bad Robin wouldn't have let him. Too bad he couldn't stand to be any where near Raven anymore. Too bad that keeping the team together wasn't worth being crushed by words.
You tried to make me think
That the blame was all on me
With the pain you put me through
And now I know that it's not me it's you...
Cyborg hadn't wanted him to go. The metal teen had begged him to stay, and then he had tried to order him to stay, and then he tried to put the tower in lock-down mode to keep him inside. It was too bad that the tower wasn't ameoba proof.
Robin had told him that if he left then he would never be allowed anywhere near the tower, or the team, again. So Gar had handed the communicater over. He was through with the over-demanding team leader.
Starfire had stayed near Robin, not wanting Gar to leave but not wanting to say anything to Robin either. It was a good thing too, Gar could stand against Cyborg's begging but he didn't think that he would be able to stand against Starfire's. The alien girl might have talked him into staying.
And Raven, the person that had pushed him to leaving, she had just stood in the hallway with her stupid cup of tea. Garfield had made it clear that Robin and herself were the reasons that he was leaving. At the same time though it was all Raven's fault.
It's not me it's you
Always has been you
All the lies and stupid things you say and do
It's you
Cyborg probably blamed Robin, not that the boy-blunder wasn't to blame, but Raven was the real reason that he had left. Garfield just couldn't stand being the person that she took her anger out on anymore.
It had always been her.
She tried to tell him that she couldn't feel, that he was just wasting his time, but he didn't believe her. He knew that she was lying, he could smell it on her because no matter how hard she tried to hide her emotions he could still smell them.
Garfield sighed and lifted his head from the safety of his hands for a few moments only to cover his eyes once more. He migh have acted stupid around the other Titans, Raven especially, but he wasn't really that bad. He had just wanted to make her happy, make her smile. He had just wanted to let her know that she had someone that cared about her.
It's not me it's you
All the lies and pain you put me through
I know that it's not me it's you
Raven couldn't have cared less. She had always said that she was cold and unfeeling and it wasn't until earlier today that it had really hit Gar. She wasn't lieing. Atleast, not about being cold.
Garfield had never met a colder person, she even beat out Mento when it came to an uncaring attitude. Sure, he knew that she was trying to 'protect' them but really. They were more than capable of proteting themselves, they'd beaten her father hadn't they?
It didn't matter to her. She didn't care that all that he wanted was for her to trust him! She didn't care that everytime she shouted at him or those times that she threw him out of the windows, they all hurt. They didn't just hurt because she literally threw him out of a two to eight story closed window on a regular basis either, they hurt because she didn't even bother to listen to what he was saying anymore.
You
You
It's not me it's you...
Garfield let his duffle-bag slip from his shoulder and onto the ground beside him. He still didn't fully believe that he had left just because of Raven, just because he hadn't been able to take the barbed words that the pale woman tossed his way.
He hadn't been strong enough. He had never been strong enough. She had just been the one to point it, and everything else that he did wrong, out. Gar knew that she hadn't been trying to hurt him, atleast she wasn't trying to make him leave.
So here we go again
The same fight we're always in
I don't care so why pretend
Wake me when your lecture ends...
Every day was the same. Raven would be in a horrible mood and Beast Boy would try to cheer her up, make her laugh or smile or just pay attention to something besides her depressing books, and she would respond by either throwing an insult at him or by just throwing him.
Lately he'd been too tired, too fed up to actually deal with Raven. He had just been running on auto-pilot. The jokes and the smiles and the obnoxious attitude, it had all just been to much for him to really care about. He hadn't stopped, he wasn't able too, but he hadn't been putting forth as much effort as he usually did. He didn't really care anymore.
Garfield could hear a shout in the distance. Then several more. His muscels tensed as he readied to leap foreward and help whoever needed it. Then he remembered that he wasn't a super hero anymore, he didn't know who he was now. He closed his eyes again, a failed attempt to block out the rest of the world, and tried not to picture what everyone he knew would say about him if they knew what he was doing.
You tried to make me small
Make me fall and it's all your fault
With the pain you put me through
And now I know that it's not me it's you...
Garfield was just as strong as the other Titans. He might not have been as fancy or as smart or as calm as any of them but he was just as strong, just as important. He had spent his whole life working his way up in everyones eyes, the Doom Patrol's, his enemies, Cyborg, the Honorary Titans. Raven just kept shooting him down, kept doing her best to make him feel small.
As Beast Boy he was knocked down and kicked around, everyone just let him fall.
As Garfield Mark Logan he didn't have to worry about any of that, he could be himself and not have to worry about it messing up other peoples goals.
Another shout and then a crash, something was going on one street over. Garfield had to force himself not to change, not to go help whoever was shouting. That wasn't his job anymore. The Titans had put him through too much, besides since he wasn't a Titan now, Robin would just yell at him for 'interfering in the Titans territory'.
Let's get the story straight
You were a poison
Flooding through my veins
Driving me insane...
The more time that he spent with Raven, the less he was himself. She was slowley putting out the spark in him, the spark that kept his good size alive and his other self at bay. He dreaded the role that they had given him, the role that he had so willingly taken in the begining. Now it was the role that weighed him down.
Raven didn't realize that every insult, every harsh word, even the glares that she sent towards him, they were all feeding the Beast inside of him. She was slowely rusting the bars that kept him locked away, poisoning his mind, sapping the strength that he needed to keep himself sane during fights and training and even just around the tower.
He didn't just blame Raven in that department, Robin was the one that had caused the bars to start rusting, she was just the...Main cause. Better yet, Robin had been the spark that started the fire and she was the fuel that kept it burning.
A familar shout in the distance, 'Titans go!', an explosion, laughter, another explosion. Garfield was standing now, his duffle-bag back on his shoulder, eyes locked on the building blocking his view of the fight.
And you're gone away
I'm no longer choking
From the pain you put me through
And now I know that it's not me it's you...
For the next three minutes Garfield didn't turn away from the direction of the fight. A part of his mind was trying to tell him that it was his team out there fighting, his family, and that he had to go help. The other part of his mind was saying that no one but Cyborg had even asked him to stay, they didn't need him.
The bus that would take him out of town pulled up, the doors opening with a slight 'whoosh'ing noise. He put one hand on the door to keep it open, his eyes still firmly glued to the direction of the battle when it happened.
There was a cloud of dust, a black aura, and a pale girl skidded across the ground at the base of the building he had been watching. Raven stood back up clearly ready to go right back into the fight when, by some twist of fate, she caught Gar's eye.
It's not me...
The look of surprise on her face was clear. Her voice calling out his name, 'Beast Boy', was clear. The fact that she really didn't care whether he left or not was still fresh in his mind.
He couldn't stand it anymore. The pain, the misery, the fear of failing everyone. He turned away from Raven and slowly stepped onto the bus, stepped away from the life he had made for himself, away from the one thing -the one person- that had slowly been driving him insane.
It's you.