Dlbn: This fic was meant to be a birthday one-shot for Soubi, but I couldn't end it at just one chapter. So it's gonna be a multi-chapter fic. Those who follow my multi-chapter things know that writing and keeping up with updates is hard for me at times. However this entire thing was written in advance and I'm only posting now because I finished it and can post every day thanks to that. anyway, enough rambling.
Nbld: Happy birthday, Soubi!
Disclaimer: We do NOT own Loveless! Every character, place, location, thing, species, event, etc that comes directly from Loveless belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing in this category.
000
I said I'm going to find Soubi, but it's Seimei I'm going to face.
That was the promise he had made to his friends Sagan Yoji and Natsuo. It was a promise that one Aoyagi Ritsuka intended to make himself keep. He wasn't sure what he'd find in Gora and at Seven Voices Academy once he arrived there, but he was hoping to at the least get some answers and confront his brother. He knew it would never happen, but getting Soubi back was his top priority. Nothing else really mattered to him at this point. Seimei would never give up the blonde Fighter he had graciously given over to his brother, and then returned to cruelly rip away. Soubi leaving was partially of his own free will, but mostly from his complete and utter devotion to Seimei. It was sickening that Seimei had two servants, and both of them were willing to give up their free will and their very humanity to please him and follow his every order; no matter how morbid or murderous. Ritsuka was sure Soubi had done things that he never spoke of, things that were too disturbing to even think about. But the blonde would never admit it; always following Seimei's biggest order of 'keep your mouth shut'. Speaking to Gomon Mikado and her Fighter Tokino had answered a few of his questions, but had opened more then before. Mikado asking if Ritsuka hated Seimei seemed like a simple enough question at the time, but the more he thought about it and let it gnaw away at him and his subconscious, the more he had to wonder himself if he truly did love or hate Seimei. He hated to say that he did hate his elder brother, but at this point, he wasn't sure that he didn't anymore.
And that was what brought him to the front steps of Seven Voices Academy a month after Soubi had left. The Christmas vacation for school had finally come up, and he was able to disappear without anyone asking questions. His mother wanted him gone and his father didn't care enough to check up on him anyway, so what did it matter if he just up and vanished? His friends would think he'd gone off on vacation with his family somewhere, and he'd make up some stupid story to tell school whenever he got back, so he was in the clear. For now anyway. Ritsuka took a deep breath to collect himself, and then grabbed the handle of the front lobby door. The front lobby of the school was decorated for Christmas; a large Christmas tree with all the trimmings and fake presents underneath it, and lights strung up around the ceiling to connect to the ever-present chandelier. The last time he was here, the young Aoyagi hadn't had time to familiarize himself with the space, but now that he looked at it, it was a very spacious, open room perfect to be the lobby at a school no one was allowed into.
"May I help you?" Wondered the young woman at the desk.
"Er, yeah." Ritsuka replied. "I'm Aoyagi Ritsuka. I want to speak to Ritsu-sensei, if I could?"
"Number six's brother?" She asked.
"If you mean, Seimei, then yes."
"Ah, yes, Seimei-sama. Sure, you can go on in. Would you like a staff escort…?"
"I'm…pretty sure I know where I'm going."
She smiled. "Alright then. Go on in."
With the press of a button and the buzz of a buzzer, the door on the other side of the room opened. Ritsuka uttered his thanks and bowed before making his way through the door. As if shut, it reminded him of a prison cell block door sliding shut like he'd seen in so a prison documentary that his Sensei had made the class watch once. Ritsuka sighed and shuddered as he made his way through the halls of the school. The few students that hadn't left for winter vacation yet-or maybe didn't plan on leaving at all-barely acknowledged him as he passed. A Unit at the end of one hall waved happily at him, both members wearing red Santa hats with their ears poking out of them.
"Hello, Loveless-kun!" The lilac haired female greeted.
"Ritsuka." He corrected out of habit.
The green haired male nodded. "Right, Ritsuka-kun."
"Just Ritsuka." He insisted.
"Wow, you're grumpy today, even more then you were when we first met." The girl giggled. "What brings you here? Are you finally enrolling?"
"I'm here to talk to Ritsu-sensei." Ritsuka replied. "I'm going to find Seimei."
"Find Beloved?" The male asked. "Are you insane?"
"Um…no…? He's my brother."
"He's nuts." The girl stated.
"Ai!" Her partner corrected.
"Sorry, Midori, but someone had to say it."
"I know he is." Ritsuka nodded. "Runs in the family. Do you know where Sensei is? Last I saw him he was in the infirmary."
"He's back in the old schoolhouse." Ai stated. "We'd take you, but we're not allowed out of the building at this time of the night."
Ritsuka glanced at his watch, which read 6:15 PM with ticking hands. "It's six…"
"We're not allowed out past 5:30 when school isn't in session." Midori stated. "If classes were still ongoing, we'd be allowed out until 8."
"Oh, alright." Ritsuka sighed. "They won't make me stay indoors, will they?"
"They might." Midori nodded. "If they do, you can always go use Soubi-san's old room. I'm pretty sure he and Sensei wouldn't mind."
"I don't know where that is. Last time I stayed here, we stayed with Nagisa-sensei."
"Yeah, she took the Zero boys on vacation, so she isn't around either." Ai shook her head, the little white buff ball at the end of her hat bouncing with her movements.
"Oh…"
"I'm sure if you ask around, someone will know."
"I hope so." Ritsuka stated. "I don't want to have to stay in the lobby or out in the cold."
"They wouldn't make you." Ai corrected. "You're important to Septimal Moon."
"I am?"
"You didn't hear from us," Midori glared at his Fighter, "but they think you're the only one that can stand up to your brother."
"Really?" Ritsuka's ears perked. "I hadn't heard that."
"I doubt they'd tell you." Ai shook her head.
"Septimal Moon and their secrets." Midori added, shaking his head sadly. "I would have thought maybe they'd tell you since, well, you know, they want you to join and everything."
"Ritsu-sensei has said that a few times." Ritsuka nodded.
"Oy, Aoyagi-kun!" A feminine voice called his name.
Ritsuka and the Unit turned to see who it was. A woman with long, blue hair, glasses, a tank top, and shorts was running down the hall towards them, waving. For the cold wintery season, she was dressed pretty warmly. Ritsuka recognized her as Seven; the first member of Septimal Moon he had met through an online MMORPG called Wisdom Resurrection. He had thought of contacting the school ahead of time with it, but had tossed that idea aside. He wanted them to be unprepared.
Seven skid to a halt in front of the three, arms flailing as she stabilized herself. She pushed a strand of stray blue out of her face.
"I'm glad I caught up to you!" She laughed. "Knowing my luck, you would have kept right on going while I was out of the control room."
"Hi, Seven-san."
"Oh, please, Nana." She corrected, adjusting her glasses. "I saw you on the security cameras before you came in. I've been tracking you."
"That's creepy…" Ai muttered.
Midori jabbed her with his elbow, but Nana smiled at them both. "You two run along, now. I have to speak with Aoyagi about some very sensitive matters."
"It's Ritsuka…" He corrected.
"Later, Ritsuka." Midori told him. "Come on, Ai."
"Coming! Bye, Ritsuka!" She waved as she walked backwards, and then ran to catch up with her other half.
"Such a cute little couple they are, don't you think?" Nana giggled.
"Um sure…?"
"Right, you're not into that kind of thing."
"Dating?"
"Women."
"Hey…" He flushed. "I…I don't know what I like yet…"
"Well you like Soubi and he's far from a woman. Damn, that boy's grown up…"
"Yeah, sort of." Ritsuka agreed.
She nodded. "He can be childish, I know. Now, I know you're here for Ritsu-sensei, no?"
"Yeah." He stated. "How'd you guess?"
"I was eavesdropping." She admitted.
"Oh…"
"It's a hobby." She shrugged. "Ritsu can't have visitors at this time of the day. They're cleaning up Seimei's little gift."
"Huh?"
"The blindness? You remember, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. Didn't think it would be a gift, though…"
"It's just a term, Ritsuka-kun."
"Just Ritsuka."
"Will do." She nodded. "For now, you can stay in Soubi's old dorm room. I'm sure he'd like that, and you probably would too."
"What makes you think I would?" His ears lowered.
"I know you don't know a whole lot about him. He can be an enigma, that's for certain. But they say you can find out a lot about a person by looking at their room."
"Yoji and Natsuo said that when we searched Seimei's room for clues."
"Find anything worth mentioning?"
"A photo collection of the two of us."
"As we thought, he's obsessed."
"You really think so?" His ears perked. "I mean, he's my brother. That's a little creepy…"
"I'm pretty certain he has a brother complex." She nodded. "Nagisa has a bit of a sister complex. I mean, come on, even Yoji looks a lot like her sister."
"Really?" Ritsuka smiled a little, trying not to laugh.
Yoji was modeled after Nagisa-sensei's sister…that certainly explained a lot about him.
She nodded, smiling gently. "I find it amusing, as well. Come, now, let's get you settled in for the night."
"It's only six…"
"Thirty. Six thirty."
"Yeah."
"I'll just show you to Soubi's room so you know where it is, and what you do from there is your business, okay?"
"Sure…"
She smiled. "Follow me."
Ritsuka practically had to run to keep up with the hacker's long strides. Curse her long legs and his height.
000
After Nana had shown him where to go, she rushed off to take care of a security concern that came through a wire headset that had been around her neck. Luckily she had had an extra master key and had been in the right mindset to give it to him before she left him alone. Ritsuka held the white key card up against the sensor to enter the room. Once he heard a click and saw the light on the pad turn green, he pushed the handle and opened the door a crack so he wouldn't have to swipe it again. This was Soubi's childhood bedroom. He'd lived in here since his parents died when he was eight. That meant there was over a decade's worth of Soubi's secretive past in the room. He'd given Ritsuka a few snippets into his past, like how Ritsu-sensei was a cold jerk, and how Seimei was ten times worse then the silver haired principal. With a deep sigh, he pushed open the door and turned on the light using a switch on the wall near it. The room was, like Soubi's apartment, rather bare. Ritsuka would have lied if he said that he was surprised by that. Soubi hadn't really had much of a personality when they'd first met, but he'd warmed up and become a bit more of a human being. Ritsuka spotted a big, comfy looking bed next to a dark wood nightstand. There was a closet containing clothes that were too big for the now twenty-one year old, and a work desk littered with papers, books, and the occasional photo. It looked like the room had been ransacked, or at the least that Soubi had rushed around grabbing everything he needed to leave with Seimei and hadn't had time for cleanliness before he vacated completely. Ritsuka spotted a photo album and a little book on a hanging shelf near the table, but he guessed it had once been filled with school books and maybe art supplies. An easels at folded in the corner, gathering dust. A half finished painting was sitting on it, the paints fading away. The walls were plain white but Soubi had hung up a couple of his older paintings. Ritsuka recognized the slightly simplistic art style, but it was a more juvenile version of it. A couple were of butterflies, and the rest reminded Ritsuka of the Rorschach Ink Blot Tests his therapist had given him when he first started seeing her, but with more color then the black he'd seen.
Ritsuka sighed and shut the door behind him, hearing it lock with a rather satisfying click. Still, he turned the deadbolt and hooked up the golden latch hook. Last thing he needed was for someone he didn't know-or did in Ai and Midori's case-to bother him. He ran a hand through his dark black hair and started to walk around the room, making sure to take in every sight, sound, and smell he could. His little red portable camera flashed as he took photographs of the room from as many angles as he could. Once his own little personal tour was through, he sat down in the middle to actually take in the room. He could practically feel Soubi in there. The air was slightly crushing in on him, but he held himself as well as he could against it. It was nice, being alone in a room that reminded him so much of the man he'd come to-dare he say it?-loved. Ritsuka shook off the thought and stood. Despite his better judgment and willingness to respect people's privacy at any cost, Ritsuka found himself taking the little leather bound book off of Soubi's shelf and sitting on the floor to read it. In his initial walk around, he'd noticed that it looked like some kind of a journal. With a sigh, he opened the clasp that was holding it shut but wasn't locked. He closed his eyes for a moment so he wouldn't see, second guessing himself, but eventually opened up his eyes to see the messy handwriting scrawled. For someone who was so artistic, Soubi's handwriting was like chicken scratch. Ritsuka could barely make out some of the kanji written across the page. It disappointed him a little bit that Soubi had seemingly gotten frustrated with his own handwriting and broke into English letters toward the bottom. He knew a few words in English from school and flash cards he'd made, but he wasn't fluent. It appeared that Soubi could have been, though. With a slow, gentle breath, he turned the book to the first page.
May 17th, 1988
Mom and dad went to the hospital today. The doctor said they won't be coming home ever again. He says I'm going to live with my mom's friend. The man's name is Ritsu. He's mean. Called me stupid because I wanted my mom and dad back. That's not stupid, right? I'm only eight. I miss them. I don't want to live here. I want to go away. I want to be with mom and dad. Why can't I be with mom and dad?
May 20th, 1988
There was a funeral today. Ritsu and I both wore all black suits with ties. I don't like ties. They choke me. It was raining a little in the morning, but it stopped before the funeral started today. When everyone left and I was alone with Ritsu, he told me he had purchased the plots and the caskets for my mother and father. Ritsu can be nice when he wants to be, but he can be really mean. He said I could climb in with my parents and be buried with them. I don't want to be buried alive. I don't! Graveyards are too scary! Ritsu won't let me have a nightlight or sleep in his bed when I get scared. Mother used to let me do those things. Why won't he?
July 5, 1988
Ritsu says I've mourned my parents long enough and can begin training. He says I'm something called a Fighter. What is that? He says they use spells to make things happen and to fight. I don't want to fight. I got into a fight before and mother and father were mad. I didn't start it, though. But Ritsu-sensei says fighting is good? But mother and father didn't like me fighting? Isn't fighting bad? But it's also good? I'm so confused.
July 6th, 1988
I'm going to start at a new school, the one Ritsu runs. He said mom worked with him until I was born. I still can't believe mom was friends with this guy…
July 7th, 1988
I met another Sensei at the school. Her name is Nagisa-sensei. She's a doctor. She's loud. She yelled at Ritsu for being mean to me when I cried over my mom and dad. Ritsu-sensei says they used to be friends but don't like each other at all anymore. But you know what? I think she might still like him.
Ritsuka blinked. Only a couple months and Ritsu had been expecting Soubi to start training and start fighting? It didn't seem like he had explained it all that well. Noting that the rest of the entries were about his fighting and training, Ritsuka skipped quite a few pages until he saw something different.
August 5, 1990
Ritsu-sensei told me he and my mom were a Unit. He also finally told me why I don't have a Sacrifice like all the other Fighters here do. I thought maybe mine died like mom did. But Sensei says I'm a 'blank' Fighter. I don't have a true Sacrifice. I belong to whoever names me. He tells me that makes me special…but…it doesn't feel like I'm special. It kinda feels like I'm…well like no one wants me…I have to wait for someone to take me and name me. Maybe Ritsu-sensei will do it? He seems to like me a little bit…not a lot. I don't want to get disappointed by thinking he actually likes me.
September 26, 1995
Ritsu-sensei tells me to call him "Ritsu" now. That I don't need to call him Sensei or Ritsu-sensei. That's strange. He's been acting weird lately. Like he wants to be around me, but yet he doesn't for some reason? Am I not a good fighter? Did he get mad because I lost a fight the other day? A kid I don't remember the name of got into a fight with me. He left a mark. Ritsu-sensei…I mean Ritsu was furious. He scolded me. He took care of the injury, but he scolded me. He said I'll have to clean up my own injuries from now on, that it wasn't his job anymore, since I'm old enough to do it. I want him to do it. Mother and father used to do it. Why can't he?
September 30, 1995
My birthday was two days ago…I'm thirteen now…a teenager at last…Ritsu was nice to me. He gave me a gift in a box. It was nice…but…then it turned out not so nice… I knew something wasn't right. I should have listened to my intuition, as Sensei would have called it. I should have not let him in my room. But he pays for my room and my schooling. So isn't it his room too, then? I just live in it. It doesn't feel like it's my room…I don't have a lot in here that's mine…I lost something of mine that day…on my birthday…I wish I could get it back…I couldn't go to classes yesterday…Ritsu said it was okay to do so…it hurts…it hurts so bad…I can't sit…I can't move…I don't want to…I just want to curl up…why…why did he do that…WHY?!
Ritsuka almost dropped the book in shock. Thirteen…Soubi was only a year older then Ritsuka was now…Ritsuka fought the urge to go empty his stomach contents into the toilet. He always knew that Ritsu was sick in the head, but to have taken Soubi's ears when he was that young? No wonder Soubi hated him. He'd hate him too. The preteen subconsciously touched his ears. He was glad he had them and that, even though Soubi said he loved him, he didn't seem to want to take them. He'd even said he couldn't get excited over a child like Ritsuka. He talked a lot like Ritsu, but when it came down to it…they really weren't all that much alike.
October 1st, 1997
Nagisa-sensei came to check on me in my room since she's the doctor around here. I was leaving Ritsu's room when she found me…and she freaked out. I've never heard her scream so loud, and she yells a lot. She yelled at Ritsu once I told her it was him. I've never been more humiliated in my life. He looked like it didn't bother him, but I know it did. I'll be in trouble now…maybe he'll…I can't even hide in my room. He has a key…just like Nana-san in security and Nagisa-sensei. I hate Septimal Moon…
Which Soubi was the real Soubi? This mindless slave who did whatever his master asked and abide by the rules of Septimal moon? Or an emotional child who hated the world he was thrust into and wanted out? Two sides of the same person. And people told Ritsuka he was different now that he had lost his memory? Sheesh, they didn't know the meaning of 'dual personality'.
October 2nd, 1997
I went back to classes today…people noticed the difference, that my ears were gone. They said some things I'd rather not repeat, but a few called me a sensei's pet, said they knew there was something weird about the two of us. I hate him. I hate them. I hate them all so much. I wish they'd go away or someone would take me away…
November 24th, 1997
You know, I've been thinking. This whole no ears thing really isn't that bad. Sure I'm young, but I'm more of an adult now. People take me seriously. Only Nagisa, Ritsu, and I know for certain what happened in my bedroom that night. Other students assume it was Ritsu, but other Sensei think it was just someone I met while out for the day on my birthday, since Ritsu always lets me go into town on my birthday. But maybe…maybe this actually means something? Could I be just getting my hopes up? Ritsu acts like he's going to be the one to name me. Maybe…maybe he is…? Could Ritsu…be the one that wants me…?
November 29th, 1997
I asked Ritsu about the naming thing. He…he didn't say no…but he said he wants to anyway. I don't know if that means he's actually going to, but it's…it's a start…
December 1st, 1997
Ritsu admitted that he's been training me specifically to be the kind of Fighter he needs. I'm going to be his Fighter! I can't believe it! Finally, I can stop wondering who my Sacrifice is going to be! It's going to be Ritsu! But…after he admitted it, we…well…we kind of had sex again…it wasn't as bad this time…probably because I wanted it and didn't fight him like I did before. It's not my fault it hurt the first time. It's supposed to, but he made it worse on me. But now it isn't so bad. I think I could get used to this…
In the matter of about two months, Soubi had gone from hating everyone-including Ritsu-to wanting to be his Fighter and…sleeping with him…again? What kind of sick hold did the Sensei have over him? No wonder Soubi didn't like him and told Ritsuka to be careful near him. Ritsu clearly played mind games. Lucky for Ritsuka, he was never alone with him long enough to fall for his tricks. Not that he would anyway. Especially if it concerned his ears. Those belonged to him and him only. Well, okay, maybe not just him…maybe…maybe they'd be Soubi's in the end…
May 18th, 1999
Ritsu…he…he lied to me! He made me think he loved me and that I'd be his Fighter…but he lied! He's going to pawn me off on someone else! Am I not good enough for him? He trained me to be perfect…but if he no longer wants me…then…then I failed…I'm not perfect…but that means that he failed, since it was his teaching that left me this way. If it wasn't for the sex, I'd hate him completely…I know that sounds awful, but honestly, it really isn't that bad. Being together like that…it actually feels kind of good…but I'm cutting him off. For good. I swear it.
May 19th, 1999
That whole cutting Ritsu off thing? I lied…
May 20th, 1999
My Sacrifice came yesterday. Ritsu says that he chose him from the Seven houses of Septimal Moon for me. His name is Aoyagi Seimei and he's…fourteen?! My Sacrifice is younger then I am! I have to take orders from a kid?! But…Seimei's dangerous…my neck hurts…I can't talk, I can barely breathe or eat or drink…Sensei is thinking of giving me an IV so I can at least get some fluids into me. This sucks. That sadistic little shit carved his name into my neck. He asked me if I wanted it to hurt…I told him yes…anything to take away the pain I've felt for so long. But nothing is worse this hell. This is even worse then when I gave my ears to…no…when he took my ears from me. Then when Ritsu raped me.
Ritsuka shuddered. That was the first and only time he'd ever seen or heard Soubi mention that word. Even when it concerned Mikado and…well…what Seimei had his other Fighter do…It took Ritsu turning him over to Seimei for Soubi to finally see just what kind of person he was? He really had been blinded by some form of love for the older man. Stockholm Syndrome, maybe?
August 5th, 1999
I'm going to begin college at the end of the month. Ato College for Japanese art. This should be interesting.
September 3rd, 1999
There's this guy in my new class that won't go away. Kaido something or other. There's a member of Septimal Moon named Kaido but I can't recall her first name. She looks a lot like this guy. I'd say they're twins, but she's older then he and I are. I do wish he'd go away, though. It's highly irritating that he won't take a damn hint.
September 26th, 1999
My birthday is soon. Another year alone. Ritsu called me and said he wants to see me for my birthday. Hmph, does he take me for a fool?
September 27th, 1999
I'm giving in and seeing Ritsu for my birthday…I hope it's not a mistake. He's the same old pervert after my ass that he's always been. Only this time, I'm older and know better then to give in. I don't care how good the sex was back when I was a kid and he got into my head. I know better. I won't give into him. I can't.
September 28th, 1999
How. How does he do it? how does Ritsu mess up my thought process and get me to submit to him? I didn't respond to the orders, I didn't respond to the lies…but I gave into the feelings. I let him touch me…I need to shower in acid to get my skin to stop crawling. I feel disgusting. This is the second time I said he won't get me like that anymore…and the second time I lied…Seimei will kill me if he knew what was happening. Then again, he hasn't been around as much. I wonder… if he's got someone else to deal with. Maybe I failed him like I failed Ritsu…maybe he's going to pawn me off, too.
November 26th, 1999
Seimei's every bit as psychotic as I thought. He actually wants me to kill people. Is he nuts? I'll do it, since he's my sacrifice and I have to follow his orders, but I'm not for it.
December 24th, 1999
Christmas is tomorrow. Oh joy. Everyone's so worried that the world is going to end next year. Y2K, they call it. How silly. Words can manipulate the world, this school has taught me that, but this is just ridiculous. Everyone wants the world to end so badly? Then you should keep talking about it. So pathetic.
January 1st, 2000
The world is still here. As I thought, everyone was panicking over nothing. Pathetic. Seimei's spending more time with me now. I hope this won't end any time soon. I like spending time with my Master. Despite how rare, I like when he praises me. It's like he does need me…
March 16th, 2000
I found out why he's been so distant. His brother Ritsuka has amnesia and his mother started beating on him daily. The poor kid's only ten. He doesn't deserve that…
April 7th, 2000
Seimei said something rather odd today. He said that if he ever dies, I should serve his brother Ritsuka…why would he say that…? But when a Sacrifice dies, it's their Fighter's job to do away with themselves. To have failed in protecting your master is a disgrace…but Seimei ordered this. So ironically, it would be a disgrace to not listen to him and follow his order…so if I don't listen, it's disgraceful…if I do follow his order, taking a second master is disgraceful as well…what do I do… Does he know something that I don't? Is he planning something? No, he's just cautious and I'm being paranoid. That has to be it…then again, I don't put anything past him…
April 9th, 2000
I saw Seimei walking around with his little brother this morning. They look a lot alike, but Ritsuka is much shorter then he is. He's a cute kid, but I just can't see myself serving him, or anyone who isn't Seimei in general…I really hope Seimei isn't going to go off and die on me…
April 18th, 2000
Seimei knew something that I didn't know…he knew something was going to happen…He's…gone…
April 19th, 2000
Seimei's been deceased for almost twenty-four hours. It hasn't even been a full day, yet it feels like ages. Seimei is dead. I have to serve his brother. I don't know if I can do it…but I can't disobey an order from Seimei…
April 26th, 2000
Why? Why did he have to be taken from this world so soon, so young…so sudden…? Septimal Moon did this, didn't they? They knew what a threat he was and wanted him gone, so they eliminated the problem entirely. I know Seimei wasn't the greatest person alive, and probably would never be the greatest person in existence, but to burn him to death? And in his little brother's school nonetheless…? I found out from the television. I couldn't tell, Couldn't feel that our bond slipping away. Does that make me a terrible Fighter…? No…perhaps Seimei isn't…but they identified the body…he died on the 10th. It feels like just yesterday I ran across him walking around with my future new master. But they identified him, so he has to be dead. Death can be faked, I suppose…but after arson…I'm just too hopeful…Though, I do wonder how Ritsuka's grown since I saw him…
April 30th, 2000
Seimei's funeral was today…I went, of course. No one knew who I was, but I introduced myself as a friend of his. I met Ritsuka formally, instead of just a few sparse glances when I saw him in the streets. I saved him from a window that exploded from his power. His cousin or whoever she was just kept egging him on until he exploded. That boy is going to be a powerful Sacrifice one day…if only he had his memories back…he won't remember ever seeing me there. I erased his memories of that incident. The next time that we meet, he'll think he's meeting me for the first time…
This time, Ritsuka did drop the book in shock. Soubi…had been at Seimei's funeral…but made him forget?! Sure, back then, he couldn't have known how much memories had meant to the neko. But still, this was ridiculous. Once he found him again, Ritsuka would give the blonde a piece of his mind. Why did he have to forget? Surely his ten year old self would have known well enough to keep his mouth shut, right? Alright, maybe that was just hopeful thinking. But still, what the hell, Soubi?! That would have saved him a whole lot of trouble when they first met-met for the second time really-and Ritsuka probably would have trusted him to start with.
June 16th, 2002
Kio thinks I need to get out more. He says he never liked Seimei (though I honestly can't say I ever did either. He was just my master holding the end of my leash, that's all he was, is, and forever will be) and that he's glad he's dead. Such a horrid thing to say…if I were in the right state of mind, I'd cast a spell to destroy his voice for a couple days as punishment. Not like he'd know it was, but it would be fun seeing him try to communicate with everyone without a voice.
October 5th, 2002
I spotted Ritsuka and a friend out in the park today. It appears they're moving soon, since she said it was his last day at that school. I wonder why two school kids from Kyoto came to Tokyo to hang out in the first place. Kio caught me staring at the boy and assumed I was spacing out, thinking about a painting. To shut him up, I agreed and left to go 'work' on it. Johansson Elementary is where he's going to, if I heard correctly. I got some information online using the school's computers. I now know exactly where to find Aoyagi Ritsuka.
October 5th, 2002
I found an envelope taped to my door when I came back. I wonder if I should open it…
October 5th, 2002
Okay, so I opened the envelope. The strangest thing. I don't recognize the rather feminine handwriting, but it's clearly about Seimei and maybe was written by someone on his behalf. Whoever they are, they're subordinate to Seimei, since they referred to him as He and his orders as His. It came with the address to Ritsuka's home, a key to the home, and instructions to follow Seimei's still standing order. Whoever it is, they don't have to tell me twice. Ever since I saw that boy the other day…he's all I can think about. Is it…is it possible that I've fallen for him already…?
Someone subordinate to Soubi who would write him a letter to make sure he followed instructions? That had Akame written all over it. Ritsuka wouldn't be surprised if the teen's handwriting was as feminine as he appeared to be. Though through that soft, rather pathetic interior, Ritsuka knew that there was a cunning, grinning sociopath on the same plane as Seimei underneath it. He'd seen that side of the teen first hand when they had fought in battle. The only battle worse then the one against Akame was the one with Bloodless and their mind games. Nisei could torture and confuse, but Bloodless were the masters of illusions.
October 7th, 2002
Today is the day Ritsuka begins attending his new school. I'm lucky it's so close. I can leave directly after my last class and get there before he gets out for the day. I can't wait to meet him…I wonder what he's like.
October 7th, 2002
I admit it, I think I might be in love. Ritsuka is just too cute and innocent. He's been through so much with his mother's abuse and brother's death, but he's such a strong boy. He's got his head held up high and isn't afraid to get mouthy with me if he wants to be. Today was perfect…I even kissed him…perfect, except for the two bratty little birds that had interfered with our bonding. Ritsuka's first spell battle…I fought without his assistance, as they were easy to dispose of and he has yet to have his first fight. I'm glad that they're gone home now…but…I wish I could have spent just a little more time with him…
November 11th, 2002
Seimei…is alive…I can't believe it. That little psychotic, murderous bastard is still alive. I wouldn't have believed it either if it hadn't been for what happened today. I went to retrieve Ritsuka from his home, as I got a rather frantic call from Yuiko telling me that he hadn't been in school and his mother had scared her away when she dropped off flowers and homework. I smelled something foul, another Fighter. He called Seimei on the phone. I heard his voice. Nisei…that other Fighter's name is Nisei. Seimei's…true…Fighter…?
November 13th, 2002
Ritsuka ordered me to bring him to the Academy. Seven Voices; the hell hole I grew up in. so many memories here, so many nightmares. I don't want to be here, but I have to be. For Ritsuka's sake. Kio tagged along but was turned away as part of the 'no visitors' policy. We fought Akame. He was defeated and the guards captured him. We have to exchange him tomorrow. Seimei has Kio. Seimei and whoever is working for him took Kio, along with Chouma. Seimei was here. We spoke briefly. He tried to bind Ritsuka to him. I can't allow that. I can't let Seimei take over his brother. I can't let Ritsuka fall victim to him the same way I fell victim to Ritsu. Not that I think Seimei wants that out of his brother, but both are cunning, lying, manipulators and will do anything to get what they want. And Ritsuka might just fall for it. It's his big brother, after all…
November 14th, 2002
We fought Bloodless and won. As a prize, we retrieved Kio. We're going home.
December 4th, 2002
I took Ritsuka to my parents' graves today. I wanted him to see, to better understand. He kissed me today. He made the first move. The first time he's ever done that. But…a happy moment soon turned to tragedy…Seimei returned to take me away from Ritsuka. I had no choice but to follow. The sound of him calling my name, the tears and the shouts…I'll never forget that…I hope you're happy, Seimei. No matter what you say or try to make me believe, it's you that did this to him. You just had to send me to him, get us to fall in love, and then rip us apart? You better have a damn good explanation for this…
It appeared that Soubi had been just as mad at Seimei about the incident as Ritsuka himself was. But with all these entries from the previous years, it seemed as if Soubi had taken his journal with him when he left the school and filled it in, only to…bring it back here…? Ritsuka shook his head, smiling faintly. Only the blonde would do something as strange as this.
January 15th, 2003
This will more then likely be my last entry. I must be as brief as I can. He watches me and Akame constantly. I don't get time to myself anymore. Either Akame is with me or Seimei is hovering. He's got more people ready to join his side. Bloodless and Chouma are only the next layer of psychotic. The icing on the cake is that he has Faceless on his side. The team no one has ever gotten a good enough photograph of, and the team that no one can remember. Seimei wants to get Ritsuka to join us. He needs my adorable little master just as much as I miss him. It's been over a month. Been far too long. Please, Ritsuka, if you manage to find this, run away. Get as far away from here and Seimei as you can. I cannot let you become his victim, I can't let you become like him. He'll promise to get your memory back. The spell is irreversible. My mother herself created it to be that way, at Ritsu's orders when they were still a unit as teenagers. No matter what he says, do not fall for it. Please, I beg of you. For whatever reason you're here, it can't be worth your life and your sanity. I'd rather let Seimei discover this and rip my tongue out then allow you to become like him and/or join him. I have to go. He's coming back. I'll leave this in a place where you may find it. So you may better understand my past and why I had to leave with him like I did. I was afraid of what he'd do if I disobeyed. Would he hurt me to get to you? Hurt you? Take you away to hurt me? I swear on my life that I made my decision solely based on what was right for you, my little neko. I'm so sorry, Ritsuka. Sukidayo, and I always will. No matter what happens, I'll come back to you. But please…just be there for me to come back to…
The last entry was longer then Ritsuka would have thought for something that Soubi had to keep 'brief'. It was rushed, the handwriting sloppy and hard to read sometimes. But…he might be able to understand Soubi better now. All the hurt, anger, pain, and turmoil he felt at the hands of both Ritsu and Seimei was deplorable, and Ritsuka couldn't bring himself to forgive either of them. Soubi was a good man. He deserved better treatment. It seemed as though after he met Ritsuka, he began to get happy again. To feel like he belonged and was loved for the first time in his life since his parents' passing. He always got the short end of the stick, the poor man. Always working for someone who just wanted to use and abuse him and then toss him aside when he no longer served a purpose. Ritsuka wished that Soubi had been given over to him instead of his brother in the first place, but he knew that it would have been impossible. He knew erasing his memory was an accident and happened after Soubi and Seimei met. Did that mean that he himself had known how to be a Sacrifice and what his true name was long before the amnesia? If so, then Ritsu should have chosen him to be Soubi's Sacrifice, not Seimei. Ritsuka didn't have a Fighter anyway, not that he knew of nor had anyone else been able to locate, so it would have worked out better. One Sacrifice, one Fighter. Not two Fighters and one Sacrifice (Soubi, Nisei, and Seimei), or one Fighter and two Sacrifices (Soubi, Seimei, and Ritsuka). This was unfair. Seimei really was a greedy person on the inside, wasn't he? The more Ritsuka learned about his brother, the more he was certain Seimei was about to topple over the deep end with Akame. Who would be dragging down who was another story, though.
Ritsuka closed the book and slipped it back onto Soubi's bookshelf. Soubi was warning him away; still trying to protect, serve, and save him even though he had his first master back to follow the every order to. It was rather pathetic, really. But so was Soubi, in a way. The neko yawned, stretching out his back as he walked around the room. If Soubi had written this last warning and left it here, then that meant that he had been around recently. He just had to have left something else in here for him, right?