Harry Potter and the Unbelievable Inheritance
This is a parody of stories where Harry is ridiculously overpowered, related to everybody and their brother in the wizarding world and/or rich enough to purchase an entire country. Given that this is, as stated, a parody, I wouldn't worry overly much about OOC-ness if I were you.
Disclaimer: I am not even a citizen of the UK, let alone the lovely and talented J. K. Rowling. Take with a grain of salt. Contents may settle after shipping. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
"Harry," Dumbledore said one lazy afternoon when there was nothing much going on (except for the rather high-spirited game of strip Monopoly currently taking place in the staff room), "I never really told you the complete truth about your ancestry. A regrettable, but understandable omission, given the circumstances."
"Don't tell me," Harry muttered as he straightened his "Snape Sucks (But Doesn't Swallow)" T-shirt. "I happen to be Grindelwald's great-great-granddaughter or something?"
"Not exactly," Dumbledore said, wincing as Flitwick's over-excited squeaks ("I'll swap Park Lane, both my utilities and my necktie for Mayfair and your knickers, Minerva!") broke through his allegedly-soundproofed office walls as well as his eardrums. "You see, you happen to be a direct descendant of all four Founders, Merlin, Zoroaster, Aphrodite and Harry Houdini. As such, this gives you an inheritance in the neighborhood of eight quintillion galleons, fifteen fully-staffed mansions, thirty-two conveyances (both wizarding and Muggle) and the Manchester United football team, in addition to powers which outstrip considerably every other wizard in existence, living or dead."
"That's quite a bit to swallow, Headmaster-"
"-But, alas, not everything. Unfortunately, your father happened to be Voldemort's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."
"Which makes Voldemort and myself-"
"-Absolutely nothing. ((1)) I merely believed it bore mentioning."
Harry, annoyed by this pointless non sequitur, accidentally used his super-ultra-mega-fantastic powers to blow up Hogwarts, thereby bringing to an end the school, this ludicrous excuse for a story and any fanbase the author might or might not have possessed up until now.
The End. Story's over. Go home, folks.
1. "Former roommate" exchange taken mostly-intact from the motion picture Spaceballs.Mel Brooks rocks!