THE GIRL HE NEVER KNEW

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Rated T (PG-13) for: Language, cutting, and attempted suicide.

Summary: Lily is as ugly and unpopular as one could get, hardly anyone knew her name. James is hot, popular, and wanted by all the girls. Lily starts getting attention in her sixth year, but it's definitely not the kind she wants. How will her crush, Sirius Black, ever even know she exists? AU. Mostly 3rd person limited (Lily's POV) or 3rd person omniscient.

They're in: Summer before Sixth Year/Train ride

THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN REWRITTEN (7/05)

Chapter One: He Doesn't Know Her

Lily woke up regretfully. She had been having a wonderful dream. She was going out with an awesome, sweet guy, she was gorgeous and everyone knew her. For a split second she thought that she dream was reality, but the bright light from the sun stung her eyes as she opened them and made her realize that it was fake. Just a dream.

Stumbling out of her bed, she walked to the bathroom. Lily surveyed herself in the mirror. She looked even worse than usual. Dry drool was on the sides of her mouth and her eyes were half-closed with the yearning for sleep. Even though she had braided her poufy, red hair the night before, it had somehow come undone, leaving her hair in tangles.

"Lily!"

Groaning and rolling her eyes she walked down the hall into the kitchen, where her sister was sitting. Her hair was shining in the sunlight and her teeth were unnaturally white.

"What do you want, Petty dearest?" Lily said, her voice dripping with unnecessary sweetness. Petunia's pretty face was contorted with rage.

"I told you not to call me that!" she yelled. Lily looked her sister over and noticed she was wearing nicer clothing than usual. "Vernon," she continued, saying the name as it were sacred and beautiful, "is coming over today to me my family. And you too I suppose." Petunia's tiny brain seemed to have forgotten that Lily was family too, at least by blood.

"So?"

"Clean the house," Petunia snapped.

"It's your turn. In case you've forgotten, I cleaned it last week," Lily said without missing a beat.

"Well, I'm already dressed. You're still in your pajamas," she whined. Lily gave her a look that seemed to say I-don't-care. "I could make a public announcement. 'Lily Evans, witch!'"

"Wow, now you've really got me convinced!" Lily said sarcasm evident in her words.

Petunia glared at her and said, "Or I could tell Mum and Dad about your... cuts?"

Lily's eyes opened in surprise. She hadn't expected that one. Hesitating for a long moment, Lily stared at the stove behind her sister. "Fine," she said grudgingly.

She had cleaned the house enough times. It was really no problem to Lily doing it. Of course, setting a time limit and having someone breathing down your neck every minute proved to be quite challenging while cleaning.

After she finished, Lily glared at her sister and said, "There! Are you happy?"

Petunia inspected the house. "Passable." She looked at Lily, "Now get away from me, witch!"

Being a witch wasn't a problem for Lily. At least, at school it wasn't. Coming from a non-magical family wasn't a problem for Lily either. Well, only at home. Which ever world Lily wanted to be in, whether it be magical or non-magical, there would always be controversy about her blood. People at school seemed to dislike her for being Muggle-born. Her family seemed to dislike her because she was a witch.

It was almost enough to drive her over the edge. Almost. It's not like she hadn't tried either. Because she did. Anyone who looked closely enough at her arms would see lines of scabs that weren't quite accidental.

abc.

It was night time, dinner time specifically. Lily was hungry, but she didn't want her family to be throwing her significant looks throughout the time she was eating. Significant looks that seemed to tell her "Say a word and die."

So she made a simple decision. She wouldn't go down to dinner, again. For the third time this week. Beside, she didn't want to meet the ugly bloke in the dining room who called himself Vernon. Lily could never understand why someone as beautiful as Petunia could choose such an unattractive git as her boyfriend.

Soon, the laughter died away from her ears and her eyelids were drooping slowly over her eyes. She finally gave in to the temptation of sleep, only to wake up and experience another dreadful day when she awoke at the next sunrise.

abc.

Lily hugged her mother and father goodbye at the train station. Her sister hadn't bothered to come; she had a date with a pig. Despite being away from her family so long, she was joyous to be leaving her home.

Walking along the train corridor, she found an empty compartment near the middle and situated herself in the farthest corner from the door. Sighing, she pulled out one of her textbooks and began to read. Soon, she could feel the train begin to move. By nightfall she would be at her beloved school.

After a long while, the compartment door slid open with a loud snap. Lily jumped and dropping her book she grabbed her wand. "Mudblood..."

"W-what do you want, Malfoy?" she said, trying her hardest to sound brave, even though inside she was positively quaking with fear.

"Well, for one, I want you dead," Lucius Malfoy said silkily.

The compartment door slid open a second time.

ABC.

James Potter was on his way to the bathroom when he heard Malfoy saying, "Well, for one, I want you dead."

Oh great. Malfoy is picking on some kid again. He sighed. In what he imagined was a superhero voice he thought, I should help! This calls for-dun dun dun!-Super James!

"Stop right there, Malfoy!" he said loudly and deeply, in his wanna-be super hero voice. "Impedimenta!" he shouted as Malfoy turned and began to say a curse. James pushed Malfoy out of the compartment. When he was back to normal, he glared at James and walked away.

Now, where is the damsel in distress... he looked around the compartment, before viewing a girl with extremely poufy hair, had acne and could do with loosing a few pounds. Well, that defeats the purpose of the damsel. She's supposed to be pretty.

"Thanks," the girl said shyly, offering a small smile.

"You're welcome," James said grinning widely. James didn't recognize her at all. "Are you new here?" he asked bluntly.

Her expression changed from grateful to startled and then to rage in two seconds.

ABC.

"New?" she asked incredulously, "I am not new! I've been coming here since First Year; I bet you didn't notice that I'm in your year? Or that I am in your House too? I'm Lily Evans, the one who always beats you in class, score wise!"

James's eyes widened in surprise to Lily's outburst. She pushed angrily past him, almost shoving him out of her way and stalked down the corridor to the bathroom. Walking into a stall, she began to cry quietly.

She had always known that she was not very well-known. But hearing someone actually say that they hadn't known her, it was just too much to bear. It was a sudden realization to how harsh reality could be.

Lily rummaged through her pockets before finding what she was looking for. Her razor blade. She always took it with her, irregardless of where she went. Pulling up her sleeve she looked at her white arm and noting the even whiter scars. Tears were pouring out of her eyes as she closed them and placed the razor on her arm, making swift, long cuts.

Placing the razor blade back in her pocket, she looked at her bloody arm and cried silently. Why do I do this to myself?

abc.

Pretty soon, the train was stopping. Lily had fallen asleep on the plush seats of her compartment, but feeling the lack of movement from the train, she awoke suddenly. She threw open her trunk, glad that she had thought of putting her robes on top of everything else. Hastily throwing them on, she thrust all her things into her bag hurriedly.

As she walked briskly from the compartment, she didn't hear the dull thud as her carelessly put away book fell to the ground.

ABC.

James Potter picked up the textbook, with full intention to giving it to Lily Evans, the girl he never knew.

spotted kitten: Inspiration for this fic was provided by Celeste in the City on ABC Family.

Well, this chapter was rewritten, to all the old readers, do you like the rewritten chapter better? I do. Anyway, "ABC." capitols signifies POV change and "abc." lowercase signifies scene change. I used that because I used to use the squiggly thing and the asterisk, but I dunno why it doesn't show up on ff. Neither do the dashes... It's really frustrating so I just used Abc and I'll be using that for the rest of the story unless someone can come up with a better alternative?

Erm, review? Please? With a cherry on top? You get confetti )