Work-A-Day Woes
Synopsis: My first ever 6teen fan-fiction based on Ron Rent-a-cop. He reminds me of a combination of William Shatner, John Wayne and General Patton. In this story, poor Ron is feeling the crunch of the holidays and feeling a bit down because unlike most of the people he knows, despite the fact he loves his family, he has no one special to spend Christmas with.
"Hold on to sixteen as long as you can, change is gonna come real soon make us women and men."--lyrics from Jack & Diane sung by John Mellancamp
"On and on without even trying, he keeps a smile when he feels like crying, on and on, on and on, on and on…"--Lyrics from On and On
Chapter 1--Why is Ron at the Lemon ?
Christmas season was in the air, and the Galleria Mall was decorated, top to bottom in colorful tinsel, garlands, real holly and fur sprigs and stunning Christmas trees. Christmas music played joyfully over the PA and everyone looked happier than usual. Even the bratty little monstrosity that usually shot Caitlyn and her friends with Nerf balls was a bit more polite and definitely nicer. He probably realized Santa would give him a break if he was a good little boy.
Ron sat at the table Wyatt and his buddies typically sat at when school was released for the day. He seemed disinterested with everything that was going on. None of the friends had seen him so down and out before.
"Dudes, he's really starting to weird me out. How long has he been here ?", Jude questioned, looking concerned and not at all mellow as he usually was.
"I don't know. He was here when we all came in. I think he was here even before Caitlyn opened The Lemon.", Nikki answered, honestly.
"He doesn't seem like himself at all.", Jen added.
"Oh, he'll get over it. Maybe he's just taking a break.", Jonesy mentioned, but such a notion was purely wishful thinking. At last, Jude had seen enough. He was tired of seeing Ron looking so blue.
"What's wrong, dude ?! Why just sit there, sighing ?! It's really depressing !", he said.
"Look, if I told you, Lisowksy, you wouldn't get it. None of what I am going through concerns any of you, so back off, hear me ?", Ron spat, a bit more crotchety than usual.
"And a bah humbug to you too.", Jonesy replied, a bit bitterly.
"I know we're your sworn enemies, but maybe we can help.", Jen said, sweetly.
"You think you can really help someone like myself, Masterson ?", Ron replied, his voice cracking a bit. If she didn't know any better, she could've sworn Ron had been crying earlier. Crying was not at all common concerning him. As far as the friends knew about the mall cop, he had no emotions, let alone tear ducts. Something was definitely not right with this picture.
Ron continued to mope around, his chin resting on the table. Every so often, he'd give out a lamentable sigh. Not even the cup of coffee Wyatt offered him did him any good. In fact, he refused it.
"That's IT ! What is WRONG with you ?", Nikki finally blurted out.
"Woah !", Jude exclaimed with a start, not expecting Nikki to flip out like that.
"Fine. If you want me to talk. I'll talk, Wong.", he said. The gang knew they were about to hear the sob-story of a wanna-be cop, but their good nature told them to be kind to him. After all, Santa was watching and even if he was their enemy, this would look very good to him in the long run. They weren't thinking about the reward (well, maybe Jonesy was, he could be greedy like that), but helping another downcast soul.
Chapter 2--It All Starts with a Girl
Ron opened up about his life as soon as he finally accepted the coffee Wyatt had so generously offered him.
"It was a long…long time ago. I was once married to the most wonderful, beautiful, dazzling, gorgeous woman in the world. Her name was Samantha. Sadly, she became terminal with breast cancer and I…lost her during Christmas. I thought I would never emerge from the dark belly of the deepest despair. What's the point of celebrating Christmas if everything you see and hear reminds you of her ?", Ron said, trying to hide his tears. Caitlyn, being the sympathetic one, hugged him warmly.
"Dude, that's harsh.", Jude said, feeling sorry for him. In fact, they all did, but they had no clue as to how to help him, until Jonsey saw a rather hot, eligible woman that might be the cure to the cop's woes.
"I spy with my little eyes, something slinky and sultry.", he said. Nikki rolled her eyes. It made her a little jealous when he made passes at other women, even if it was simply a visual one. Jonesy took Ron's hand and walked with him up to the woman who had caught his attention.
"Oh-ho-ho…Dudes ! This is going to be goooood.", Jude said, whilst Caitlyn rolled her eyes at how infantile men could be at times. Even Wyatt, the usual intellectual, leant forward to watch Jonesy's 'magnetism' at work.
The blonde's name was Yvonne and despite the fact that she had lost her husband of 20 plus years to lung cancer, she was full of the holiday spirit. Sure it could become taxing because she only got to see her children around the holidays thanks to their busy schedules but she had a loving family, and a large one at that. The two struck up a conversation without Jonsey's help and found they had much in common. Yvonne had been in the national guard and Ron had been involved in quite a few wars for his time. Yvonne had seen some horrible events come to pass, though she wasn't involved directly with any kind of conflict, but it seemed that they had made friends of each other quickly.
Jonsey walked back to the group and gave them the 'thumbs up'.
"Seems like Lil' Camouflage likes Big Army.", Jude said.
"I think I'm going to be sick. You have nicknames for them now ? You don't even know if they're a true match for each other.", Jen said, unimpressed.
"You don't know the power of the Jonesmiester's love connections, ma chere.", Jonesy said, boastfully, trying to act cool and suave. Nikki still was also nonplussed.
"Awww. I think they're cute together and I think Jonesy and Jude might be right.", Caitlyn said.
"Regardless. At least he's happy now, and isn't that's what's most important during the holiday season ?", Jen mentioned, thoughtfully. The others pondered about what they said and agreed 100%.
Chapter 3--PDAs and TMIs
The next day, Ron was whistling along with the Christmas carols over the PA. He had a Santa cap on his head, tilted at a jaunty angle. He was walking in time with the beat of the music and tapping his nightstick on different objects to the rhythm.
His main squeeze, Yvonne was hanging on his arm and singing with him, laughing all the way.
"I hate the fact that you have to work but I know as soon as our shifts are over, there are plenty of things we can do together, Ronny.", Yvonne said, in a saccharine tone. Normally such a tone would've made Ron want to puke, but Yvonne was nothing if spectacular.
"And I will be looking forward to that, my dear.", he said, winking at her.
"I can't wait to tango with you, amore.", Yvonne said saucily. He tickled her playfully and she kissed him passionately before leaving. The teens, who were at the Lemon saw the whole display.
"My eyes ! They've been defiled !", Jude screamed, covering his eyes, and clearly freaked out beyond consolation.
"You're not kidding me. After the filth I have just witnessed, I feel I must purge my body in a nice, hot bath.", Nikki commented.
"Can I join ?", Jonesy chimed in, which got him some rather supercilious looks.
They were about ready to spend their time at the arcade when Wayne walked by, a scowl upon his face.
"Is it me, or does every stinkin' low-life in this gosh forsaken mall have a date ?", he said, sounding woefully pathetic.
"Don't feel bad, Wayne. I'm still livin la vida solo. It's not so bad.", Wyatt mentioned. Then he noticed Serena, his ex, with another guy, and his expression became a bit jealous.
"Not so bad…Riiiiiiiight. I'm going to drown my sorrows in a blood n' guts movie marathon. If any of you are man enough to come with, then proceed at your own discretion.", Wayne said. Wyatt, who usually didn't like overly violent films, saw no harm in going along with him.
"Any other takers ?", Wayne said after bumping his own hand with Wyatt's.
"Suit yourself, I think Wayne might be onto something here.", Wyatt offered.
"No thanks…I think we'll be heading toward The Comet…", Nikki said.
The two guys left and the rest of the team, still watching Ron and Yvonne making out, covered their eyes and walked as quickly as they could.
Later the friends were met by the Clones, who looked positively grossed out.
"It's the grodiest thing ever !", Clone one said, wrinkling her nose.
"It's worse than that. What does that woman see in Mr. Action Hero anyway ?", Clone three agreed, sticking her tongue out, equally finding the displays distasteful. And this was after they were gone from the mall and had returned, joining up in the cinema.
"It's unnatural. I can't even bear to think I was in the same cinema with them !", Clone two chimed in, shuddering.
"Girls, girls, girls ! It's not such a bad thing, really.", Darth Mall said, having his arm closely wrapped around the object of his affection, Taco Girl.
"Between a cute couple like yourself, no…but them…Brrrrr.", Clone two said and they walked to another boutique to get their minds off of Ron and Yvonne's passionate make-out session.
The next day…
"It's driving my customers away. I can't have those two pawing each other and nibbling each other like that in front of my kiosk ! The other customers look sick and turn around, going in the opposite direction.", Tricia said to the others at the Lemon. It seemed that Wyatt and Serena had gotten back together. Apparently, whatever hadn't been working out in their relationship had been fixed, and alas, poor Wayne was alone to play video games and vegetate during the rest of the holidays. That was, until a rather shapely girl walked into the Shack and began talking about horror films. The rest, as you can say is history.
"I can't believe it. The holiday really does work miracles.", Nikki said, astonished at what she was seeing.
"Who cares ! We have to do something about Ron and Yvonne…", Jen said, sounding bitter.
"Woah. Harshness.", Jude said, a bit taken aback by Jen's sudden outburst.
"She's right though. The two are a total eyesore, and as much as it doesn't sound fitting with the Christmas spirit…the two gotta go.", Caitlyn agreed.
Chapter 3--Just Can't Say No to 'Ho, Ho, Ho !'
The friends tried all of their tricks and pranks on Ron, but even though he was successfully dating, he hadn't lost his sharp eye or his ability to stop misdemeanors before they started. The group was surprised, too. They had never known Ron to be gentle, kind, let alone spirited. Always before, he had hated Christmas, but they had never known the true reason of why he was so angry, frustrated and depressed when the holidays came nearer.
"I've tried breaking them up myself, but I'm actually looking forward to seeing them under the mistletoe ball near the pastry shop.", Starr said, sweetly.
"I think I just lost my lunch.", Nikki said, as she pushed aside a tray of nachos, which Jonsey quickly wolfed down.
"Come to think of it, I think I'm actually happy for them.", Wyatt added.
"I never thought you'd support such a…unique union.", Nikki mentioned, pointing out the fact that Starr was still into 'goth' culture and seeing her happy about something was unusual.
"Everyone deserves happiness, even Ron-rent-a-cop.", Starr said, noticing the two walk away hand in hand, basking in the holiday glow of a newfound yuletide love. There had been many songs written about romance during the holiday season, but the gang had never seen it in action. Now they could see why it was so magical. True, the shopping season was getting more and more frantic, but reminders of Ron and Yvonne's frolicsome behavior reminded them the holidays could indeed work miracles on the most uptight people and make them softer, and in the end, better people completely.
Chapter 4--Then Comes that Big Night
Christmas day came in a rush and fortunately, the friends had been welcomed at Jonsey's house for a collaborative party. A secret Santa and Mrs. Saint Nick unexpectedly showed up at their doorstep, which surprised everyone, even the usually laid back Jude was pleasantly amused. No one knew who he was, but he was more than happy to pass out gifts to the teens, as was his cute little assistant. Then it was time for caroling, treats and finally, opening the presents. Both Mr. and Mrs. Clause watched in silent awe and wonder as the teens became children momentarily. Everyone received the gift they had been wanting. Only someone close to them would've known what they were really pining for but their mouths still dropped when they saw their secret Santas reveal their true identity.
"Surprise, everyone !", Yvonne yelled.
"It's us ! Merry Christmas !", Ron said, sounding positively jolly. It was something completely against his character, but they could see Yvonne really brought out the best in him. Then, he had a gift for Yvonne.
"And this, my pet, is for you.", he said as he placed a spellbinding heart-shaped locket around her neck. Yvonne, thanked him breathlessly and kissed him passionately.
Jonsey was stunned, and for once, was speechless.
"Dude, I can't believe you're our secret Santa !", Jude said, unexpectedly embracing the middle-aged man.
"I had known it wasn't Jonsey acting alone to find this wonderful woman for me. And I must say, it's the best present I could have ever wanted.", Ron said, wrapping his arm around her. Yvonne blushed, not knowing how to respond. Their meeting had been pure chance and their instant rapport had been nothing if miraculous. It was as if the hand of God had written a fairy tale for just the two of them. Oddly, the gang was more than happy for them. It had been ages since any of them had seen a smile cross Ron's stoic face. For him to even have the ability to emote was beyond them, but they were quite aware he was a human being with a very human heart.
The rest of the night had been spent enjoying each other's company. Ron and Yvonne had been discussing their plans for the upcoming year.
"Are you considering marriage yet ?", Caitlyn asked, on the verge of squealing.
"Actually, yes. We are thinking of getting married next year in the spring time. We're very excited.", Yvonne said, her slender, dainty hand patting his.
"Congrats !", Jen stated with a grin. The lot of them agreed.
"You'll be invited, that is, if you want to be.", Ron said, catching them a bit off guard.
"Oh, sure ! Wouldn't miss it.", Wyatt answered. They were delighted to support him, even if he had been the bane of their existence in the mall. Certainly, he was as eagle-eyed and steely-minded as ever, but he wasn't afraid to let loose and have fun every now and then, and Yvonne had brought that inner child of his out.
Epilogue
A year had come and gone since Ron's marriage to Yvonne and Ron had his hands full being a new father. He had twins, a fraternal boy and girl. Their names were Nathan and Victoria. Nathan was named after his grandfather, who came to visit around the holidays and promised this year he'd spoil the twins equally. Victoria was Yvonne's mother, who couldn't have been a prouder grandmother after waiting so long. She had always said, "Good things come to those who wait.", and Yvonne knew that wisdom was factual.
Little Victoria and Nathan were as precious as they could be. Nathan looked just like his father, while Victoria took after her mother, with her platinum blonde hair and violet eyes. The gang took to them right away. They had to admit, the two of them had produced some gorgeous progeny, and they were enjoying the holiday spirit as much as everyone else. They were still too little to understand what was going on, but at least they knew they were loved and cherished.
Nowadays, most of the time Ron is showing off photos of his children to random shoppers that come through the mall. Yvonne is still working in the fashion department in the mall, loving the fact she doesn't have to be too far from her husband and can see him right after work is over, so she doesn't have to miss out on his sweet, loving kisses.
The work-a-day woes aren't so bad anymore, really. It's more important to be close to the one you love and care about to get you through the bad times, knowing that in their arms, all your cares simply fade away and your worries are forgotten on the rush of the passing wind.
The End