by: Strife-Ishida (not anymore Ishitaka ^__^)
Disclaimer: Don't own Saiyuki. Also don't own the song "Hanging by A Moment" by Lifehouse. If I did, I wouldn't be doing this ne? ^_~
Notes: Implied Hakkai/Sanzo/Hakkai, Slight tinge of Gojyo/Hakkai, Little angsty, One-shot, Songfic.
This one is for my best friend, Ionne. She loves Saiyuki as much as she loves me and Get Backers. ^___^ So Ionne, this one's for ye gurl! Love yeh so much!! =) *hugs*
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you
The sky was simply dark, and the weather was cold. As usual, during cold and rainy nights, someone was missing.
"Sanzo?"
Hakkai's voice filled the cold, dark room where Sanzo was supposed to be in.
Again, Hakkai tried.
"Sanzo, are you here?"
There was no answer. In fact, there wasn't even anyone in the room. The only thing in the room was Sanzo's lighter which was placed on the table.
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"HAKKAI!!!"
Goku was standing upon Sanzo's door, obviously worrying about Sanzo.
Hakkai turned around and faced Goku, "Goku?"
"Sanzo, is he here? Where is he?" Goku walked towards Hakkai, who was standing near the window.
Hakkai frowned a bit and turned back to the window, "I'm sorry Goku. Sanzo isn't here. I'm afraid he's run off to somewhere."
Goku's face turned into a frown and left the room. "Sou ka..."
Gojyo was leaning on the opened door, lighting a cigarette. "So… what do you plan to do now? Are you going to look for him, like always?"
"I have to. It's my job to do that, to look for him when this happens. I always look after him during this kind of days."
"Fine. Do anything you want. This is what you always do. You're the one who always chases after him."
"I know. It's because I love him so much that I don't want to just… let go."
"Hakkai! How can you still love that monk when he always leaves you like this? He always hurts you, and you let yourself be hurt by him! Hakkai, can't you just leave him?!"
"I can't I can't leave him alone Gojyo. I just can't. He's important to me…"
"And you think that he values you so much?!? Hakkai, stop it. Stop this nonsense with him."
"I don't know if he values me just as much as I love him but… I can't let him go."
"Tch. Fine. Be that way."
And with that, Hakkai left Gojyo in the room, running outside looking for where the monk could be.
~
Sanzo was standing at the fountain, looking at his reflection, the small droplets of rain hitting him and soaking him wet.
"Sanzo…"
Sanzo heard the familiar voice behind him.
"What are you doing here?" Came Sanzo's low, gruff reply
"It's unusual for you to be outside on this kind of night."
Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely Incomplete
I'll take your invitation
And you take all of me
"Sanzo… Please. Let's go back. You're wet and you'll get sick."
"I don't care. Leave me alone. "
"Sanzo… please."
"I don't want to and I don't care. You… Always run after me, and yet I always send you away. Why do you still always come after me even though I always hurt you?"
"I… I don't know. It's maybe because I love you so much that I don't want to let go from you, even as much as you want me to."
Sanzo threw his cigarette away and lighted another one, his third one since he left the inn.
"Why? Why do you love me? Why do you still love me even though you know that I just use you for my personal pleasures?"
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm stansing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
"I don't know. I don't why I loved you even though you're short-tempered, impatient, gruff….Gomen."
"Don't apologize. It's true. Tell me why."
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And don't know what I'm diving in to
Just hanging by a moment here with you
"I never thought that I'd love someone after Kana. I even never thought that I'd fall in love with you. I never thought that I'd love someone like you. And look at me now, here I am, chasing after you, letting go of all else, just to be with you, just to hold you, and just to love you."
Sanzo was surprised upon hearing those words that came from the green-eyed youkai. After all, Sanzo loved him too. He was afraid of admitting his feelings for the youkai that's why he rejects him.
"Hakkai… Do you…"
"Do I still what?"
"Do you still want to love me, after everything that I had just said? Do you still want to be with me after the many times that I've wanted to throw you away? Are you still willing to love after all the rejection that I've done to you? Do you still want to love me after the many nights that I used you?"
"Yes. I still love you. I still and always will."
There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There's nothing else
"Sou ka…"
Sanzo throws the cigarette he previously lit and turns to Hakkai, whose eyes were cast upon him.
"Then… Hakkai…"
"Hai?"
"Are you…"
"Am I what?"
"Are you… willing to start over… with me?"
Upon hearing those words from the monk, Hakkai's eyes widened in shock and surprise. He didn't expect to hear those words as he knew Sanzo doesn't really love him at all.
"Sanzo…"
"Hakkai… I'm asking you again… Are you willing to start this relationship over with me? Let's… Let's go back to square one."
Hakkai couldn't be happier. At last, He felt that his feelings for the monk were finally returned, even though just hearing those simple words.
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer to where I started
Chasing after you
Hakkai finally placed a smile on his face, "Yes… Yes Sanzo. I'm willing to start over with you."
Sanzo never felt happier in his life. He never knew that he also has these feelings for the youkai, he never admitted them and never listened to the voices of those feelings but finally, for a moment he listened to them and he felt that he did the right thing.
"Arigatou… Sanzo."
Sanzo lighted another cigarette, his fourth.
"The rain finally stopped."
"Maybe it was waiting for me."
"Huh?"
"Nothing. Well then, let's go back. I bet those two idiots are hungry."
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
Sanzo took a few steps forward and waited for Hakkai to catch up with him. After a moment, he took the youkai's hands into his and held it until they reached the inn.
Before going inside the inn, Hakkai suddenly stopped.
"Well, what is it?" Sanzo wondered why the youkai suddenly stopped.
"Sanzo.."
"What?"
"I love you."
Sanzo couldn't help but smile a little bit. He gently run his fingers over Hakkai's soft lips.
"I know. I love you too."
And with that, Sanzo kissed Hakkai on his lips.
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by moment
Hanging by a moment here with you…
~END!!
A/N: So tell me… was it good or what? XD As I said before, this one is for Ionne. =) Thanks so much!! *hugs* Review please and tell me what you think about it! Arigatou!! ^__^