Here's an attempt at making a funny one shot about Altair…remember peeps, ATTEMPT :P
Running from rooftops to rooftops, Altair's agility didn't go unnoticed…
Guard #1: Wow, look at him, he's so gracious when he jumps, he's so fast!
Guard #2: Idiot, he can do those things because he's an assassin! Come, hurry! We have to stop and kill him!
Guard #1: Wait! *dumbly* An assa-what?
Guard #2: Ugh…*Facepalms*
By the time this little conversation was over, Altair was nowhere to be seen.
Trying to escape the group of guard that are chasing him, Altair noticed a haysack and smirked, knowing it would be a good place to hide.
Guard: Damn, he's fast. *noticing Altair going to the haysack* Not again! If he goes in it, we won't be able to find him! We can't let him reach the damned haysack! HURRY YOU MORONS!
Altair: *hides in said haysack*
Guards: Where did he go? *looks around*
Finally reaching stable near the entrance gates of Damascus, Altair dismount his horse then head to the entrance, remaining anonymous. Looking behind him to make sure no guards were alerted by his presence, Altair notices his horse following him.
Altair:*points at horse* STALKER!
Horse: !
Altair: Don't deny it, I left you at the stables, who are far from where you are now.
Citizens looking at him with confused and weird faces.
Guard: Poor man, he's crazy. *Grabs Altair's left arm while another guard takes his right one*
Altair: Wait, what are you guys doing? Where are you taking me?
Guard: To the asylum…you seem to need help…maybe Garnier de Naplouse will be able to help you with your problem.
Altair: What the…? I killed him! He's dead!
Guard: *to the other guard* Crazy I tell you…
Slowly walking two guards whose back are presented to him, Altair activates his hidden blade. Stealthy, he manage to kill one of them, then immediately goes into monk mode, lowering his head on his joined hands, then slowly walk away from the dead body. Noticing the dead body, the second guard walks to it and looks around for the culprit.
Guard: Hmmm, who could have done that…only a monk with a sword hanging from his belt…but monks aren't killers…then who?
The guard kept thinking while Altair managed to go behind him and pierce his throat. The guard's lifeless body fell on the floor.
Altair: Is it me or those guards are just plain stupid?
Following his targets, Altair closed the distance between them and attacked, piercing the man's heart. Guard :
Altair: Wow, is that so obvious? *roll eyes*
Tired to be annoyed by the begging woman that been following him for 5 mins, asking for a few coins, Altair decided to climb a wall, being sure to put distance between him and her. Once he was almost at the top, a rock hit him and he fell to the floor, but was fast enough to see who did it.
Altair: Damned beggar woman! *runs after her and when he is close enough, used the hidden blade on her*
Guard: Hey you, you killed an innocent citizen.
Altair: Innocent! There I was trying to climb a wall and was almost at the top when she threw a damned rock at me! Do you know how high those walls are? I could have died!
Guard: Oh, sorry. You can go then.
Altair: *going away* Yup, plain stupid.
Following his target at a safe distance, Altair patiently waited for the right time to strike. He fastened his pace a little bit so he was a few feet from him then…
Altair: *Being pushed* What the? *Looks up to see a drunk man*
Drunk dude: nieheheheh *hiccups*
Altair: NOT AGAIN! It's the third time you and your little friends do that! Why am I the only one you push? Look around! There's plenty of people to push, so why me?
Drunk dude: huh? *hiccups*
Altair: I am tired that you drunkies screwed my missions over and over! You always do that when I'm close to kill my targets! Are you gonna stop?
Drunk dude: ….*hiccups*
Altair: That's not the answer I'm waiting for! *kills drunky with hidden blade* WHY IS EVERYONE AGAINST ME ? First the begging women, then the drunk men…and now those guards with their swords in hand coming towards me…
Okaaaay, that's it. I'm just hoping it was funny…if not…well, it's life :P