Sly said to his friends: "Let's form a band and call it the criminals. I will turn my cane into a guitar and be the lead singer."
"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Murry said. "I WILL BE the drummer."
"I shall play bass." Benlty said.
Carmelita came into the room.
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sly/Bently/Murry said.
"I want to join your band. I will do back-up vocals and guitar." carmelita said.
So they got to work on their first song:( sung to the tune of SOAD's hit BYOB)
YOU...
SLY DO THEY ALWAYS TAKE THE POOR?
Carmelitaisms by Carmeltia with pointed steals
Victorious, victories, kneel
for brand new spankin deals
Marching forward Bentlomatic
and hypnotic computers.
You depend on our protection,
Yet do deeds us Slys for the tablecloth.
la la la la la la la la la oooh,
Everybody▓s going to the Coopers have a real good time.
Stealing in the desert using up the sunshine.
stealing roses-disappearing,
into Murrys▓ dry mouth,
breaking into Fort Knox,
stealing our IDEAS,
hangers sitting dripped in oil
Crying YYYEEEAAHHH!
Handed to Sly.
Yet do deeds us Slys for the tablecloth.
La la la la la la la la la oooh,
Everybody▓s going to the Coopers have a real good time.
Stealing in the desert using up the sunshine.
Everybody▓s going to the Coopers have a real good time.
Stealing in the desert using up the sunshine.
Blast off, its Cooper time,
And we don't live in a stealing,
Blast off , its Cooper time,
And where the fuck are you?
What the fuck do you?
Why the fuck are you?
Why do presidents fight the stars?
Sly do they always take the poor?
Why don▓t presidents fight the war?
Sly do they always take the poor[X4
stealing roses-disappearing,
into Murrys▓ dry mouth,
breaking into Fort Knox,
stealing our IDEAS,
hangers sitting dripped in oil
Crying YYYEEEAAHHH!
Handed to Sly.
Yet do deeds us Slys for the tablecloth.
la la la la la la la la la oooh,
Everybody▓s going to the Coopers have a real good time.
Stealing in the desert using up the sunshine.
Everybody▓s going to the Coopers have a real good time.
Stealing in the desert using up the sun-
What the fuck are you!
Why the fuck and you!
Why do presidents fight the stars?
Sly do they always take the poor?
Why don▓t presidents fight the war?
Sly do they always take the poor[X3
Sly, do, they always take the poor?r [X3
SLY COOPER AND THE COOPER MOTHER FUUUUCKERRRSS!!! peace!" sly said.
"YAAAA!!" Murry said.
"We have a hit!" Bently siad.
"I like it." Sly said.
"Let's right another." Carmelita said.
"Let's have more solos...particularily drums. Murry needs a solo." Betnly said.
"I would agree." Murry said.
"Yes. LET'S WRITE IT!!!" Sly said :
SLY SLY SLY SLY
B B B B
MU-RY-MU-MU-RY!
C-C-C-Carmelit(a)
Just another day in the band
Yeah, we're the Criminals(yeah)
We will stop subliminals
Our talent is unlimited.
We are limitless(yeah)
WE WE WE Rule We kick the shit..out of you You are just...shitty stool That is..if you don't..like us!
Yeah, we're the Criminals(yeah)
We will stop subliminals
Our talent is unlimited.
We are limitless(yeah)
SLY!
CARM!
ELITA!
BENTLY!
MURR
Yeah, we're the Criminals(yeah)
We will stop subliminals
Our talent is unlimited.
We are limitless(yeah)
Yeah, we fucking kick(UH-huh)
ON your shitty dick!(yeah)
When we win the day
You will very pay
Yeah, we're the Criminals(yeah)
We will stop subliminals
Our talent is unlimited.
We are limitless(yeah)
All you motherfuckers.
Shooting bombs at each other
It will end in pain.
YOU MOTHERFUCKERSS!!!
Yeah, we're the Criminals(yeah)
We will stop subliminals
Our talent is unlimited.
We are limitless(yeah)
Yeah, we're the Criminals(yeah)
We will stop subliminals
Our talent is unlimited.
We are limitless(yeah)(X3)
CRIMINALS!
"Awesome." Sly said.
"Awesome." Murry said.
"Awesome." Bently said.
"NOT AWESOME!!!" Carmeltia said.
"You suck!! That song RULES."
"No, it sucks. I hate all of you. You are under arrest." Carmelita said.
"FUCK YOU!!! YOU SUCK!!"
Carmelita ran away.
"I will make my own song." Carmelita said.
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing of Sly
Broken your servant I kneel
(will you give in to me)
It seems what's left of my furry side
Is slowly changing in me
(will you give in to me)
Looking at my own reflection When suddenly it changes Violently it changes (oh no) There is no turning back now You've woken up the demon cop in me
Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Open up your hate, and let it flow into me Get up, come on get down with the Coopers You mother Get up, come on get down with the Coopers You fucker Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Law enforcement is the gift, that has been given to me
I can see inside you, the crime rate is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
(will you give in to me)
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
(will you give in to me)
It seems you're having some trouble In dealing with these changes Living with these changes (oh no) The world is a scary place Now that you've woken up the master thief in me
Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Open up your hate, and let it flow into me Get up, come on get down with the Coopers You mother Get up, come on get down with the Coopers You fucker Get up, come on get down with the Coopers thieving is the gift, that has been given to me
(And when I dream)
(And when i dream)
(And when i dream)
AND WHEN I DREAM
No Carmelita, don't do it again
Don't do it again
I'll obey the law
I'll obey the law, I promise
No mommy don't hit me (ow)
Why did you have to hit me like that, Carmelita?
Don't do it, you're hurting me
Why did you have to be such a bitch?
Why don't you,
Why don't you just fuck off and die!
Why don't you just fuck off and die!
Why can't you just leave here and die!
Never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK YOU!
I don't need this shit
You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore
Now you get to see how it feels mommy
Here it comes, get ready to die!
Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Open up your hate, and let it flow into me Get up, come on get down with the Coopers You mother Get up, come on get down with the Coopers You fucker Get up, come on get down with the Coopers Killing is the gift, that has been given to me
"Sly! Our album went platinum!!"
"YEAH!! YEAH!! YEAH!!"
"Bently! Carmelita's album sold 0!! 0 $ that is!!!" Sly said.
"WE'RE FAMOUS! WE'RE FAMOUS!" Sly said.
"LEt's work on the next ablum." Murry said.
"Ablum? GREAT TITLE!! AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHGAHA!" Sly said.
"HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!YEAH!!!" Murry said.
"HAHAHAHHAHAH!! WE ARE FUCKING HAVING A GOOD TIME!!! AHAHHAHA!" Bently said.
Their next album went 213417289347198237498 times platinum.
THE END