Taffy: Welcome one and all to The Obligatory Cliched Thiefshipping Crack Show, otherwise known as TOCTCS! Here, the really random author created this so she can Mary-Sue herself because that's pretty much what a dialouge show is(No offense intended). Anyway, onto the show.
~Marik and Bakura are on a couch somewhere in Domino City kissing passionately where they were deepening the kiss every second(a fangirl can dream, right? 8D) and having a Yaoi-fest which the author can't be bothered writing and will leave it up to the readers to guess what's going on(83) when Taffy shows up, unbeknownst to them, since of the current Nosebleed Galore-fest. She then sees Bakura and Marik and starts doing what every fangirl would in her situation- nosebleeding, drooling, and squeeing quite loudly all at the same time. Both of the really sexy effeminate males stopped kissing and looked over where the pile of blood is...~
Marik: WHAT THE *EFF*?
Bakura: CRAP ON A WANKER!
~Taffy looks at the pile of blood and drool and says,~
Taffy: Oops. It seems like the author has ever-so-conveniently Mary-Sue'd herself, I mean me, into a random talk show only to make horrible jokes and try to cure her boredom. Well this looks like fun.
Bakura: FUN? WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE, WE CAN'T JUST IGNORE YOU AND KEEP CONTINUING! YOU'RE LUCKY I'M IN A BETTER MOOD THAN USUAL, SO I WON'T SEND YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!
Marik: BAKURA STOP YELLING! She might be of use to us, and if not, you can always 'show her your knife collection'!
Bakura: *scoffs* I highly doubt it. She is a fangirl who hasn't even told us her name yet, which is really rude.
Taffy: HA! Like your the etiquette expert, oh and by the way, I'm Taffy and I have an irrational hatred for Gummi Bears. I bet Marik could totally grate cheese on his abs, because I can defy logic and screw the rules. Apparently I'm an egomaniac in this show and I like to play card games on motorcycles-
Marik: I can grate cheese on my abs, but the smell tends to linger something awful-
Bakura: STOP WITH ALL THE YGOTAS REFERENCES!
Marik: Fine, but as long as you stop yelling.
Bakura: *sigh* Have it your way. You should be lucky you're pretty. *glares*
Taffy: Hey Bakura, since I'm here, I have some plans to make Marik admit he's gay.
Marik: I'M NOT GAY GEEZ!
Bakura: *grins evilly* Oh, and what are your 'plans' Taffy to make Marik finally come out of the closet?
Marik: NOT GAY!
Taffy: Hey Marik, can I talk to you for a sec, in the bathroom?
Marik: Why?
Taffy: Because shut up. *drags Marik to the bathroom by his midriff*
~The Bathroom of Doom~
Taffy: Marik, what is the thing you have most wanted in your life, aside from kissing- I mean killing Yugi Moto and his friends? Because I can give you it, my ego is bigger than Kaiba's but smaller than Chuck Norris', because no one's ego can be larger than his.
Marik: You can really do that?
Taffy: I'm Taffy. Course I can.
Marik: Well, I've always wanted a Buzz Lightyear toy. *gets a dreamy look in his eyes*
Taffy: I'll give you a Buzz Lightyear toy, as long as you do what I want you to do for me.
Marik: OMG YES I ACCEPT.
Taffy: Excellent. *turns around and grins evilly* Yes, yes, YES! *turns back to Marik* Ok, I just want you to do these things for me. Sing 'Grenade' in your underwear and with a hairbrush! I might make you do other things later, if that's fine with you.
Marik: Sure, it's fine, as long as I get my Buzz Lightyear after that! *excited*
Taffy: Ok, now let's go back to Bakura. *drags Marik by his midriff again*
~The Lounge of Yaoi-happenings aka where the fanfic began~
Taffy: Ok, Marik, sing 'Grenade' and the Buzz Lightyear will be yours to own!
Marik: YAY!
~Marik grabs a hairbrush and takes off his clothes but leaves jewelry on~
~Bakura and Taffy both nosebleed and drool at the same time~
Bakura: Taffy what the f*** did you tell Marik to do?
Taffy: Oh you'll find out soon. *grins evilly*
Bakura: You compared to me, I'm sane.
Taffy: I could've made him sing 'Sexy Bitch'. You know how that will work.
Bakura: Touche. But let me ask you Marik, why do you wear purple underwear?
Marik: Real men wear purple underwear. I'm going to sing now! For the Buzz Lightyear toy!
~Marik sings, albeit very off-key~
Marik: Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for ya...
~More lyrics later, Taffy and Bakura are just staring at him~
Marik: ...I'll pash your bridesmaid for ya!
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)-
Taffy: Ok, Marik, that's enough. That was very...good. Here's the Buzz Lightyear, just put on your clothes now. *hands BL(/AN: I'm sure you're sick of Buzz Lightyear being typed all over again xD) toy and mops up blood on floor*
Marik: YAY YAY YAY! *puts on clothes and starts playing with the BL toy
Bakura: That was...very disturbing. Taffy you are very evil. Might as well hang around,
Taffy: Kitty!
Bakura: Not a kitty!
~Bandit Keith shows up out of nowhere~
Bandit Keith: ...in America.
Taffy: Why didn't anyone tell me that writing crack was fun? XD Anyway...*snatches Marik's Buzz Lightyear*
Marik: Hey! You said I could have it!
Taffy: Only if people review and ask questions about you and 'Kura. So people, review so that Marik can play with his Buzz Lightyear again! 83
Bakura: Bloody fangirl. *goes back to polishing knives*