It was only a matter of time before I realized that the meaning I'd once found in running was for naught. I'd run from the world, and the isolation turned into something that I may never be able to deal with. I miss society, maybe even for the same reason that I had hated them so. It's strange to admit that I was wrong, I've never been wrong before. I always made the decisions. Was this… the wrong one?
My single good eye came to rest on my arm, covered in the grizzled grey fur that was possibly a byproduct of a lack of initiative. I'd never thought that taking care of myself would do anything; guess I regret that too. The air was thick with the scent of my self-pity, but I couldn't help but wallow in it. I'd basically thrown it all away, hadn't I? I'd finally got the chance to live a 'normal' life, but I withdrew from that same life. I pushed everyone away and… and—fuck.
I've always had someone to blame, but there's not even a name I can associate to this. Things had been perfect, so why did I do this? Am I vain? What about stupid? Is there even a word to describe the idiocy of my own actions? A small chuckle slipped from my lungs as a paw reflexively reached at the gun—resting in the holster on my hip—enjoying the cool feel of the metal against the pad of my paw. It'd be an easy way out if I were lucky enough to have a loaded battery in it. I hadn't the money to reload it for a while; but, the feel of having it in my hands was soothing. Ha! This time the chuckle was softer, a few words escaping my pursed lips, "Big bad Wolf, comforted by his horrible past as a murderer." It was irony at its best.
There was no reason for me to still be alone honestly. I'd been in his wolfen for several months, banking on low power modes. My reserves were low, and I'd be forced back in the matter of days. Sargasso was gone, as was every base and home I had ever had. The home I'd had in Corneria had been foreclosed upon a while ago. Would this be considered homeless? It is possible after all, that since I had no home and I lived in a vehicle that I was homeless. That's funny, especially after falling off of a 3 million credit bounty—of what I'd stolen—that I'd had no money whatsoever. Who would take pity on a poor man, a former murderer?
With the silence engulfing me, it was a wonder that I hadn't lost it already. Had I lost it? There was no one to answer it, but it was no surprise when my own subconscious said it was so. A simple laugh escaped my lungs, cut off by a sudden crackle filling the wolfen. Someone had made connection to my communication systems, but there was no visible ship for miles. "Wolf?" questioned the voice, too mangled by the crackle to recognize. It was at that moment that a large grey ship seemingly came from nowhere. I'd heard of it, but personally had never seen it. The small red logo on the side was faded, but the image of the fox held true. Star Fox… this was Fox McCloud.
"'O' Donnell," I rasped, glancing down at my feet. The sudden presence of another made me notice more things about myself that I wasn't enjoying. With so much time spent without any hygiene or anything, the scent of my own dirty fur—mingling scents of sweat, blood, and the strange salty scent that tears brought—filled the air. I coughed violently, glancing at the large ship hopefully. The glass reflected my image just slightly, and I felt disgusted with it. I hadn't maintained myself at all, and it did nothing but show at this point. The few cuts I'd attained from scratching at my fur were infected and filled with puss, my eye-patch had worn away to reveal the white eye. It stared irritably back at me, completely contradicting my thoughts, and the appearance of my other eye. It was almost as if it had a mind of its own.
"What are you doing out here? I heard you got foreclosed on, but you were already gone. I've been looking for you for a few hours now; I was almost ready to give up," the voice came, almost sounding concerned. Before I could even respond, there was more and more flowing through that worn out speaker, "Come on and dock already, don't even think of saying no. I can get your accommodations set up and you can explain everything to me. If you want to argue, you can wait until later, okay?" Despite my pride, I was open to the idea. I couldn't exactly say no, could I? It's not like I had anything better to do; and I'd just die. A chance at redemption? I'd like to take that; at least, I think so.
I guided my ship towards the larger grey one ready to dock. There was no limit to the feelings washing over me, and I worked at trying to mute them so I'd be as neutral as possible when I arrived. There was no time for me to think as to why the fox was doing this, but the idea that someone actually cared was something. Maybe this was for the best.