Not Meant To Be
"You're not real, you're not real. You're not supposed to be. You're alone."
An unearthly voice echoed, assaulting the boy's hearing. All he could hear was that cold voice unyieldingly repeating the same words over and over again, causing the emptiness in his heart to grow.
"Stop it! Shut up!" he yelled, tripping moments after. The blonde curled up on the unseen floor, attempting to shield his ears with his hands. He couldn't see the ground. He couldn't see anything around him, but he knew he had been running around in circles since the beginning.
He knew he couldn't escape that voice murmuring poisonous words to his ears.
It wouldn't shut up either.
He was cold and scared. No, frightened. He felt... empty, lonely
"Roxaaas... You're nothing, no one. You'll always be alone, no matter what people say. No matter what HE says." His muscles tensed up, the spiky haired boy brought his knees over his head in attempt to escape from that voice that cruelly put emphasis on its keyword.
"Roxaaas."
"...Shut up" He whimpered.
"Roxaaas."
"..."
"Rox-"
"Shut UP!" He sprang up as he yelled, nearly falling off his bed in the process, which brought him back to reality some when he had to balance himself not to kiss the floor.
What a poor sight he was; shivering, his heart threatening to jump out of his chest and an overall uncomfortable sweaty mess.
"...A dream. Again. The same dream." He panted, slowly recollecting his thoughts.
Roxas pulled up one of the bed sheet he had kicked off himself in his sleep and warped it around himself, staring around and then out the closed window. No wait... He pushed on the wooden frames, forcing the window open and allowing the cool night air in. Better...
The boy sat in the dark for a moment. Still afraid his main vital organ might hop out of him in its erratic racing, he gazed at the almost full moon half hidden behind a puff of clouds.
After a moment of silence and useless staring, he decided he needed to talk to someone. Anyone. He needed to be reassured, to have someone to tell him he wasn't as lonely as the voice claimed him to be.
Someone to tell him something, anything.
His gaze traveled around the room then rested on the phone that sat on his night stand. Call someone? Glancing on the left, he took notice of what time it was. 2:43 in the morning. He couldn't call someone this early.
Unless...
Yeah.
He'd call him.
The boy picked up his cell and dialed the number, hardly paying attention. He didn't even need to look through the repertory: he knew his phone number by heart.
The phone on the other side rang once, twice, and a few more times until someone picked up.
"Uh...Roxas?" A sleepy voice asked, obvious proof of its owner being woken up by the late night call.
"Yeah..." The blonde responded back, now unsure if it had been a good idea to call at such an hour.
"Axel...I woke you up, didn't I?" He already knew the answer to his question. "Sorry. I shouldn't have called so early in the morning."
This seemed to get the other's attention. He checked his clock to see what time it was.
"Wow, almost 3 in the morning."
There was a slight pause and Roxas wondered if Axel wanted to say goodbye. To his surprise, he got a question instead.
"You had a bad dream again, didn't you?" Axel asked, slightly more awake this time. He heard him take a deep breath.
" Uh-huh..." He nodded his head as if his flame-haired friend could see him through the handset.
"Same as last time, but longer." The blond added.
Roxas heard sounds of clothes being moved around and some shifting noises without exactly being able to sort out what was going on the other side. There was a short moment of silence before the other spoke up.
"Hold on Roxy, I'm on my way."
"This early?"
"Well, you woke me up, didn't you? You impose yourself in my sleep hours so I come and impose myself in your little home. Knowing you, you won't get a wink of sleep and I'm not gonna doze off anytime soon now that I'm wide awake."
He heard a door open and close and a slight click he guessed to be a lock. After that, nothing but footsteps and his still racing heart. Cicadas soon joined in the silent symphony.
The two quietly talked all the time, neither of them wanting to cut contact. After a little more than ten minutes or so, Axel reached the street where Roxas lived.
"I'm almost there. Wanna come out or you're waiting for me inside?" Axel asked, approaching the blonde's home.
Roxas had a small moment of hesitation.
"I think I'll stay inside."
"Alright."
He heard him pick up the pace some. It lasted for barely more than a minute.
"I'm two houses away so get ready to open." He heard the younger one kick his blanket away and his door creak, soon to be replaced by the stairs complaining under Roxas' weight.
"Guess who's arrived..."
Roxas heard his voice both in the phone and through the door.
They hung up.
Axel stood before the door for a brief moment and reached for the doorknob, but before he even had a chance to touch it, said door was flung open and a certain blonde jumped into his arms. He instinctively wrapped his arms around blonde's smaller form, barely surprised.
Axel gently led him inside and shut the door. Roxas slightly loosened his grip around the other's waist to avoid tripping in the other's feet and stared up to meet with emerald eyes full of concern. He stared away. He didn't want to trouble him. Maybe calling hadn't been the best of ideas after all...
"That dream really torments you, doesn't it?" He asked, obviously worried. The expression that painted itself on Roxas's face was enough to answer his questions.
"I see..." Axel gripped Roxas' shoulder in an attempt to get a better look of his face. As a result, the grip around his mid-body grew tighter, stopping him on his track. He managed to get a glimpse, though. The poor boy was sickly pale. He clearly hadn't been sleeping enough for quite some times.
"...You need to sleep... You haven't been getting enough rest for weeks now, right? It's more than obvious..." A barely audible whimper escaped the younger one's throat at the mention of sleep, and Axel felt is heart sink. He was powerless against the blonde's fears.
"Roxas..."
It wasn't like he wanted him to go and have bad dreams over again. He knew how frightening the were.
He also knew how dangerous such lack of sleep could be...
"I... don't want to have that nightmare again," Roxas muttered. "Once a night is enough for me."
"Rox..." The smaller boy had the same reaction again, holding on to the other even tighter- as if his life depended on it. Axel was sure he also heard a slight 'No' from the blonde. He could've bet his whole lighter collection on it.
Axel was beginning to discover Roxas wasn't as frail as he may appear to be at first glance; he would end up crushing his lungs if he kept squeezing more everytime he did or said something.
"Axel..." He was silent for a moment. Axel listened, waiting for him to continue. He didn't dare to move, fearing for his bone's safety.
"I... just don't want to sleep." Another moment of silence.
"...And I don't want you to leave."
The taller one both sighed and smiled at the same time, his eyelids hooding over his his irises some.
"Did I ever talk about leaving?" He inquired. Roxas perked up and almost completely released his steal grip around the older one's waist. Axel took a deep breath, his body free from the deadly clutch. Air.
Roxas felt his feet leave the ground. Axel had taken advantage of the situation, jumping on the occasion now that he had some loose to move and he knew Roxas wouldn't get a chance to leech hug him in time. He heaved the boy and easily neutralized him, squishing the blonde's lithe form against his chest. Held up in bridal style, Roxas didn't put up much opposition.
"Time for bed."
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"Put me down!" Roxas struggled. He also noticed they were dangerously close to the stairs. Actually, Axel climbed up the first step, then the second, steadily making his way up to the second floor. The blonde boy froze, afraid he might lose balance and fall down. It wouldn't be too fun, would it?
Axel easily reached the rooms floor, but refused to put Roxas down until they arrived at destination, which was his room. He set him down on the bed and sat on the side.
"Time to sleep." He cooed. He reached for the blanket the boy had kicked away a little earlier and pulled it up some, but Roxas crossed his arms and legs and refused to lie down. He didn't look too reassured.
"I'd rather not have that nightmare again..."
"You won't." He started. "You're not alone this time. I'm there."
Hearing Axel's words, Roxas dove back into his dream, assaulted by a flashback.
"Roxaaas... You're nothing. You never will be anything. Never be anyone. You'll always be alone. Always. No matter what people say. No matter what he says."
He had a slight move back and cringed, giving Axel a somewhat... empty look.
"No I... I'm alone..." He drew back, moving away until his back was against the wall behind.
"I'll always be alone."
His friend immediately knew something wasn't right. He had said something he shouldn't have. He always had similar reactions after not sleeping for nights and having this one nightmare again. It was worse everytime... He looked like he could panic any second now. If he hadn't already started, that is.
"Roxas, you're not alone." The flame-haired one attempted. Slowly, he stretched out a hand to grab Roxas' wrist, but the blonde simply ripped his arm out of his grip.
"No matter what you say, I'm alone."
Axel had a moment of hesitation. His dream had gotten worse this time for sure. Roxas saying such things was a first.
"You're not. I don't just say it. I'm here for real, for you not to be alone." Roxas seemed to calm down a bit. He didn't reply back.
Axel tried his luck once more, reaching for Roxas' other wrist this time. He tugged, but didn't escape. The older one spun on the bed so he was fully facing him and took hold of his other hand, hoping it wouldn't make him start freaking out- He had been punched in the face last time while trying to help.
"I'm..." Roxas begun.
"With me." Axel finished. He pulled him against himself, holding him tight. He felt the blonde tense up then slowly begin to relax. Good.
"You're with me and I'm with you, no matter what." He heard Roxas mumble the same sentence to himself before he relaxed completely.
Axel smiled down at Roxas and let himself fall on the left, bringing the other down with him.
"This time I'm serious. Time for you to sleep." He held him closer.
The boy nodded and snuggled deeper into his arms, wanting more of that feeling of security. He felt important. He felt loved. He was cared for. He was not lonely.
Axel curled himself up a little, bringing him even closer before he pulled the abandoned bed sheet over them.
Secured and reassured and with Axel breathing down his neck, Roxas finally relaxed. It was nice to have someone hold you close, protectively.
He soon drifted off into a dreamless, restful sleep.
Axel stared down at the sleeping boy for a moment. He very well knew what dream hunted the poor boy's nights. He knew the feelings and the sentences, down to every word, each syllable the cruel voice always repeated. He always had the same nightmare.
A hint of smile tugged at his features. What they were, they were nothing, but together they always managed to forget the loneliness their lack of heart constantly put them through. Maybe this time... maybe he too would have a dreamless night. One of peace and rest. One a nobody doesn't deserve.
Axel allowed his smile to spread on his features through his dark thoughts. Silently, he kissed the blonde's forehead, eyes shut before he curled up more, hugging Roxas closer.
There they were, comforting each other and forgetting what they were.
They weren't supposed to be there, mere shadows of their former selves, empty shells unable to recall memories of their very own past.
Emotionless beings, they weren't supposed to be what they had become, or to get to feel what they felt in their supposedly empty chests.
They weren't meant to be at all.
But fate had apparently decided otherwise.
They learned to ease each other's pain and make one another forget the meaning of loneliness. Even if for but only one night.