A/N; I know. I don't deserve to know how to write!! T-T I'm sorry my WANTED: A PINK HAIRED WIFE fans, I still haven't updated! It's just, I have a slight writer's block on that story! I'm sorry times a billion trillion crapillion! But uh… enjoy this story? It's a break from the drama! …Err… I think? Yea! Yea! It's another one of my pathetic attempts at humor!! T-T
I'M SORRY GOD! TAKE ME AWAY!! TO A SECRET PLACE! TAKE ME AWAY!! A HIDING PLACE!!
…I seriously need to stop listening to that song huh?
(I've been mourning over the fact that I have school in 4 weeks. It starts on that horrible day. The cursed day of 2008. The day…
SEPTEMBER 4 ((Insert hideous and dramatic music plus freaky creepy voice))
Readers: (GASP!)
T-T
WHY?! WHY DID YOU INVENT SCHOOL DEAR LORD?? WHYYYYYYYYYY!? Y comes before Z!! Ok… enough of my silly and abundant rants… ONTO THE BATTLEFIELD- cough, cough- uuuhhh I mean……… story? Kyahahahahaha! ENJOY, MY SILLY LITTLE EVIL OBSESSORS!!
--A.B.C.D.E.F.G.H.I.J.K.L.M.N.O.P.Q.R.S.T.U.V.W.X.Y.N.Z!--
Sad Fact—I don't even own a car. And you expect me to own a world known amazing million dollar manga/anime?! You freak! GO EAT BANANAS!
-.- (Hint: it's a bit of a touchy subject for me, disclaimers, that is.)
Sayonara My Sanity! –1.one ((Bad Moods and Pretty Boys!))
Monday.
The day I hate the most.
You know why?
Because.
It's the first day of work for the week. And the first day is somehow always the most awkward one for me. I don't really know why either… it just happens ok?! Shit happens. Hahaha… you see what I did there? I said that funny little—ok yea never mind then. My friends say that I have the HUGEST LSOF (Lame Sense of Humor) ever. But I don't believe them.
I think I happen to be quite H-I-L-ARIOUS! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SCREW ALL PEOPLE THAT THINK I AM LAME! SCREW! SCREW!! SCREW!!
Oh that reminds me, I have to buy some screws to fix my cabinet… the stupid hinge broke again.
Sigh…
'Who the hell are you?!'
Who am I?! WHO AM I?!
'Yea who the hell are YOU!'
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM?!
Nope!
Oh. That's sad. MUHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem, well my name is Haruno Sakura! Age 20! I have obnoxious pink hair that reaches a couple inches below my shoulders. And also these funny jade eyes. My mom used to say she could pluck my eyes out and people would believe they're real jades.
Che.
I couldn't sleep for 2 months straight without covering my eyes with a blindfold. I got fucking scared someone would really do that.
And I imagined it would hurt.
And it probably does.
I mean seriously, having someone just reach their fingers in and literally grab plus pull your eyes out of their sockets? That is gory. Ugh. I think I just puked a little in my throat. GAH!
Well time to go do my ever so routinely morning routine. Enter… my bathroom! Across from my room. I know… it's sad how I don't have those built in bathrooms directly in my room alone. But you see, I'm a 20 year old that lives oceans away from my parents (they're in America) and is currently staying in Konoha, Japan studying abroad.
I was born here but I moved over to America when I was about 5 I think? And I barely moved back here 2-3 years ago after I graduated from high school. (Tears, tears!!)
Oh… HIGH SCHOOL!
Ah… the days of childish crushes, drama, bitches, lame boyfriends, wonderful boyfriends, heartbreak, nosy teachers, and pimples.
5 words: SO glad that's all over.
Not that I'm saying anything. I mean my friends were the definition pawnsome. Aside from the constant pressuring my parents gave me, I kinda liked it. I didn't bother with boyfriends since I was just totally focused on schoolwork and getting all of it over the hell with.
But that didn't mean I couldn't have crushes. Well I was actually a pretty big nerd. Not because I have big buck tooth and wear funny looking HUGE glasses (not that I'm offending anyone, I mean I have glasses too!) But because I was probably the only one in school that didn't want a boyfriend and the ideal high school girl's life.
The IHSGL. (Ideal High School Girl's Life)
It was practically the biggest dream any high school girl had at my old school.
It consisted of eating with the jocks and cheerleaders whenever you want at The Table, hanging out with the incredibly cute skaters, laughing and gossiping with the most popular and prettiest girls in school, having senior friends when you're not a senior, getting invited to dances not occasionally, having the most well known best friends ever, and the one that almost any girl worshipped and dreamt of the most—
The cutest boyfriend ever. The boyfriend that's well known all over the place. The boyfriend that's either a skater or a jock (or secretly has a killer 6-pack.) The boyfriend that will beat someone's ass up if they insult you. In other words: The Boyfriend.
And I? I, Haruno Sakura? What did I do and had?
The UAAGL. (Unwanted and Avoided Geek's Life)
I had best friends too. The ones that I could depend on, but also the ones people wouldn't take another look at. I ate at a random table nearly everyday with my said best friends. I didn't have A Table. I just had the cafeteria's tables. The ones available for geeks like me. In other words, the one that people would practically ignore.
I didn't hang out at incredibly cute skaters, I admired them from afar. You know, as in… didn't talk or got one look from them at all. I didn't laugh or gossip with the popular and prettiest girls in school. It's more like I was laughed at and gossiped about and the usual ignored by the popular and prettiest girls in school.
Meh. I didn't really care. As long as I was getting by and still living, I could give one crap about them all.
There was actually something I did in that list though. I wasn't senior but I had senior friends, the popular ones too, I know, shocker huh! It's because the seniors were more reasonable. The senior friends I had were considered nerds too, but in senior year, that was actually a thing people didn't care about.
My senior friends were popular, had good grades, and most people knew them. I was considered their 'protégée.' The one that would be one of the people that would 'reincarnate' them in my senior year. Hah. Laughable. As long as I was with my year of stupid monkeys fighting over one banana, popular was something I could just scream to God to give me.
I didn't care about dances either. Of course I got invited by my friends. But… I never went to any of them. You heard me, not even Homecoming or Prom. I didn't really care. It's just a place with boy and girls, music, making out, big dresses, and jealousy issues.
And last but not least, the one I never wanted to have—a boyfriend. Even if my knack for silly cliché romances were at the tip of my brain.
At least not in high school anyways. I would change schools than suffer a 4 year long drama.
Everyone ignored me.
Until Graduation.
My mom made me take my hair out of the ponytail I was so fond of since 8th grade. She took out my brown eye contacts. And gave me clear contacts instead so I don't have to wear glasses to Graduation and so you can see that hideous shade of green my eyes were. She dolled me up and gave me simple touches here and there.
Gave me a nice dress to wear. Shoes. And the dress was spaghetti strap and showed practically half my back.
I went to Graduation dressed like that.
And the first thing I hear?
"Have I seen you before? You look familiar, but you're SO sexy!"
The whole day out, people were talking to me. Popular people.
And you know what I have to say?
"You're all so OBNOXIOUS!"
You know what's surprising? They STILL talked to me after all THAT.
Che.
Brainless Bitches.
That was one day of my life I'll never get or want back.
Because me?
Haruno Sakura?
Yeah.
I believe in the type of love where there are damsels in distress that end up falling for the hero that saves them.
I am that kind of person.
I've never experienced true love, but I could dream and write and ramble about it on and on and on.
-
-
-
You know what I can't help but envy?
How Tenten-chan manages to still look so confident even when she's in a nerve wracking situation. I mean seriously, the girl is a genius! Somehow. For example, if we were stuck on a ship, this will be her, "So the kitchen is still intact right?"
Not that we've ever gotten stuck in anywhere before. Because if there's anything I'm really scared of, it's being stuck. Stuck in elevators, in rooms, in planes, in nearly everything. Why is it so traumatic for me? Well. I don't really know. The thought just puts me on edge. It makes me feel like while I'm stuck, some dude dressed in all black will just jump out of nowhere and stick a knife through my eyes.
Yes.
My eyes.
I'm a gory person I know, but I guess that's what you get for loving to write stories. A big imagination goes along with that. I guess it's some sort of combo pack. The talent for writing goes along with a H-UGE imagination.
I can have trouble sleeping and whilst that, I can make out a full story in my brain and make myself fall asleep.
Well back to the topic!
I really wonder how Tenten does that. How she manages to stay completely calm through every single little thing.
Maybe she was born with it or something.
…
…
Maybe it's Maybelline.
OK that was a horrible pun right there, excuse me.
Well you know what I do for a living?
Writing?
WRITING?!
Are you insane?! I'd probably get thousands of letters telling me how much they hate it. I'm quite the cliché type of person obviously since I expect to meet 'the one' in a coffee shop whereas I accidentally spill coffee on him. Doesn't that just spit out CLICHÉ and print it on my forehead??
Stories about high school. Stories about vampires. Love stories that end tragically. Yup. I'm that uncreative that I must make a story out of an already used too many times plot.
But that doesn't mean I can't enjoy writing. Writing is like my time to pour my true feelings out, feelings I can express in reality.
Because reality is just too tough for anyone to handle. You can say one thing and the next thing you know, you just turned everything upside down. Example? You're at a meeting and accidentally blurt out, "Oh shoot I've got to go-go-go!!" you'd probably be fired for embarrassing the whole company like that.
And once again, no, I did not do that.
'Suure.'
Shut up! I didn't! Stop mocking me whoever you are!
Ugh.
Weird voices that come out of nowhere.
Don't you just hate that?
OK, onto the point once more.
Nope. I don't write for a career.
I actually work at a café called The Honey Bean. Sounds like a cheap rip off of The Coffee Bean right? Yeah well Tsunade-shishou said she didn't know what else to name it and Anko-sempai was the one that pitched in the "best" idea so they ended up with The Honey Bean. It's actually pretty popular now since it's probably one of the few other cafes in Konoha.
Meh.
Oh look at the time.
9:25
Time for my shift.
-
-
-
"What do you mean you don't know what you want?! You come in this café and tell me 'I don't know'?!"
OK. I have an explanation for my behavior! Seriously! The guy was uh… making traffic! Yeah! The café was overflowing with customers, and here he is, wasting our time, tell us he doesn't know what he wants. Oh boo hoo!
"Look Sherlock! If you want to make traffic, I suggest you go somewhere else that needs it! Because there are thirsty and hungry customers here that do know what they want when they step up to the order area!!"
Yes that was me. And yes people are staring at me in disbelief right now including Tenten-chan.
I had a bad day ok?! I don't need anything else to make it worse.
"This is horrible service! Where's your manager?!"
Oh my Kami. Did that bald DUDE just ask for MY manager?!
"She's sleeping."
Hey, at least I was telling him, the truth! Anko-sempai did have a habit of sleeping on the job. She's hanging around with Tsunade-shishou too much.
Well, anyways, at least I got the man to leave! Even if he was seething… but yeah!
Ah…
Oh shit. Did I just talk back to my customer?? Shit, shit, shit, NOOOO!!
…
…
Oh well! Being guilty isn't going to help anything! And besides, I told you that Monday is always the most awkward day of the week for me! It's like a Cursed Day!
I grinned up at my next customer, my bad mood immediately fading away. As soon as I looked up, I swear I wanted to drop dead and die in heaven.
He was gorgeous. Yes, bold faced, italicized, AND underlined!
The definition of flawless perfection.
He had this beautiful flawless looking pale colored face with deep onyx eyes and spiky (chicken look alike) black hair with hints of blue in them. The curve of his nose was completely straight and it was quite big as well, underlining his masculine features.
His eyes though… they were… void of any emotion. The curve of his lips was set into a thin fine line.
He looked…
Helpless. Alone. Insecure. Lonely. Hopeless. Scared.
But it would take a really good microscope for you to tell.
But me?
My trained eyes could read people like a book by just looking into their own eyes. Like they say: your eyes are like the windows to your soul. But he hid it so good… his eyes looked nearly… lifeless.
Like a beautiful disaster. Yes lame. I know. I watch too many mushy gushy movies.
It was haunting… and I felt my heart race when he looked into my weird jade eyes. I took a deep breath, pushing aside every other emotion as I smiled shakily at him after my analysis.
"What would you like, sir?"
…
…
...
Was he mute? Or deaf? Why wasn't he replying?
Oh no. Don't tell me he doesn't know what either.
Lookie here pretty boy, I don't care how gorgeous you are, but right now, you are the same as that bald man to me!
Yes I will always be in a very bad mood on Mondays.
Well I'll give him credit for being pretty. I'll give him a couple chances to speak.
Or else death will do him apart.
Apart from his precious baby maker!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- anyways...
"Err, sir? Siiiir--!"
Gasp! Was he… glaring at me? That rude egocentric bastardtistical yes that's a word incredibly handsome mysterious total stranger ASS!
"You're annoying."
Oh hell was about to let loose!
…
Tenten-chan was looking at me from the back, looking… uh curious? Yeah curious, like she was wondering what I'd say this time.
Well she was going to get a handful.
That--
"YOU EGO MINDED RUDE ASSED MANWHORE! IS IT SO WRONG THAT I WAS CONCERNED FOR YOUR WELL BEING?! CONCERNED YOU WERE DEAF?! OR MUTE!? 'YOU'RE ANNOYING!' WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!"
Everybody in the café looked at me in interest, wondering just 'what.'
He gave me a bored look though.
KAMI! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! YEAH I'M SO MAD I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER ADDING THE –SAMA PART TO KAMI! (Gomenasai, Kami!)
"HERE'S WHAT! I'M TAKING AN EARLY LUNCH BREAK! HMPH!"
And with that, I threw off my black The Honey Bean apron and walked—no, stomped—out of the café.
…
Aw dear Kami-sama.
Well… you know… maybe we didn't accidentally bump into each other at a coffee shop and I spilled coffee on him and will eventually fall in love…
But uh… it could be we had a huge spat at a coffee shop wherein I was practically screaming at He the Customer and we'll eventually fall in love?
…
I'm pathetic.
Either way…
I hope he was gaping at my grand exit.
…
Aw crap.
I didn't deserve to live.
Or have a job.
Well this is the prologue!
So looks like Sakura-chan really had a bad morning didn't she now.
I hope you guys will like this story since I plan on it being more focused on the Romance instead of the unending Drama. Plus some humor along the way, I've had enough of balling my eyes out watching K-Dramas just so I could have enough inspiration to write a total sad heartbreaking scene for WAPHW.
Which now that we've mentioned that, I've covered the first half of the 23rd chapter for WAPHW. (WANTED: A PINK HAIRED WIFE)
I'm sorry I'm keeping you guys waiting what with the evil cliffhanger and such. But, I promise it'll be out uh… soon?
Well again, school is starting so.
Ugh.
Well I'm not ashamed of asking for reviews.
So… maybe you can contribute some support to the poor authoress? ;D