(A/N) This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Naruto world, which is owned by Masashi Kishimoto. I do not claim any ownership over any of his characters or the world of Naruto. This story is my own invention and is for entertainment only. This is Slow Burn type fan fiction that is rated M for a few reasons: language, violence, themes of abuse, sex and more. I hope you all love this story as much as I do, this was something I started writing 6 years ago. I've done much editing and revising and finally feel like it's ready for the world to see. I will be posting this Every friday before 7 pm. Thank you!

Her cheeks were ruddy and chilled as she ran from her family home and into town. It was a brisk, even for a fall morning, but Yatsuko Ishi didn't care. After years of taking on and completing challenging missions, she had finally been promoted to a Jonin. Her lips spread into a broad smile, she had done it and her family was beaming with pride. At least one of their children had managed not to be a complete disappointment.

Nothing mattered, there wasn't one thing that could bring her down, not even her elder brothers blatant jealousy over her recent advancement. She had worked her ass off for years, she deserved this and nothing he could ever say would change that. It wasn't her fault that at nearly 19 years old he was still only a Genin. His unambitious and lazy nature was his problem, not hers.

"Oyyy, kouhai!" Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his familiar and lazy call. "Yatsu-channn!" He drawled, Yatsuko turned as an excited grin began tugging at the corner of her lips. His hair shown like spun gold in the sunlight as he waved over towards her with cool disinterest. Her chilled red cheeks flushed an even deeper red at the sight of him. Before she could even think Yatsuko was running towards him full speed.

She lept up throwing her arms around his neck and toppling him to the ground clumsily. Deidara grunted beneath her weight, Yatsuko didn't care. Her face rested on the nape of his neck, nuzzling him softly. She breathed him in, that smell of clay and pine she had so longed for.

Deidara shifted uncomfortably beneath her, Yatsuko down at his flushed pink face. His golden blonde tresses had fallen, disheveled from his ponytail. She pushed herself up from his chest, gazing down at him for a moment. It was moments like these she wanted to capture and hold onto forever. He gave her a stern look, she slapped her hand over her lips before bursting out into a fit of laughter. Deidara sucked his teeth, he never did like being laughed at. Yatsuko didn't care she would have been content just laying there in the dirt with him forever.

"Dei, I thought you'd be out of town until next week." Deidara gently nudged her off of him before standing up. He took a deep sigh, dusting some dirt from himself. He glowered over at Yatsuko his hair still out of place, dirt marring his cheeks. She burst out laughing again if there was one look she loved on Deidara it was flustered and imperfect. "You just look so dumb right now! Bfff ha ha!" She snickered at him. There was nothing that could make her day better. Deidara had come back from his job early, she wondered if it was to celebrate her new promotion. Yatsuko beamed up at him as he offered her a reluctant hand to pull her up to his side.

He shook his head slightly, he glower slowly morphing to a smirk before pulling her into a hug of his own volition. She wrapped her arms around him willingly, taking in everything. From the warmth of his body against hers to the strength which he used to hold her. The embrace lingered on to Yatsukos delight.

She wasn't a child anymore, she was 15 and now finally the same rank as Deidara. She hoped that he could finally view her as an equal, it could be the beginning of a new type of relationship. Now he didn't have to be Dei-oniichan or Dei-senpai to her anymore. He could finally just be Deidara; hopefully, she wanted him to stop treating her like his kid sister and like... well like something else. Yatsuko pressed her head against his chest taking in his scent once more. The back of his shirt bunched as she clutched it desperately in her hands, she never wanted to let this feeling go.

"That's no way to speak to your senpai, hmm." He said pursing his lips and flicking her in the nose, breaking their embrace. Yatsuko scrunched up her face in annoyance as she flailed her arms in an attempt to stop his assault. Sure he was older, but it was only by a year, in her opinion a year hardly mattered. "How can you ever hope to get promoted if you don't respect your superiors, hmm."

"Agh! Stop that!" The excitement she had felt only moments ago was suddenly replaced with a profound disappointment. "You forgot didn't you!" Yatsuko snapped at him, Deidara shrugged in response.

"Forgot what?" She turned her back to him, suddenly feeling quite stupid. Why would she think he'd come back to town early just for her? How could she let herself get her hopes up? Yatsuko began to walk silently into the village. Yatsuko cringed when she heard Deidara start to trail lazily behind her, she had hoped he would just shrug her outburst off and head home to work on his art. She knew it was dumb to be this sensitive in regards to him, but she just couldn't help it. Yatsuko hated this selfish, self-absorbed side the most. Sometimes she felt as though he shared his feelings for her, most of the time it seemed he didn't care about anyone or anything. Well except his art of course.

"What are you doing, homes that way." He eyed her cockily as he pointed back the direction she had just come from. Gritting her teeth and continued to walk ahead trying not to let him see how annoyed she was becoming. It was at times like this she was most ashamed of her wanton infatuation with him. Chewing the inside of her cheek, she began to walk a little faster. "Hello, Yatsu-chan, hmm?"

"Yeah I know asshole, I decided that I want to go into town to celebrate." She seethed caustically hoping he would catch the hint that right now was not the time to pester her. Deidara chuckled as he draped his arm over her shoulder nonchalantly, Yatsuko tried to slip out, but he just pulled her closer to him with a cheeky smirk. He always loved making her squirm. Sometimes she wondered if he only ever showed her affection just because he found it funny how worked up it made her. The thought only enraged her even more.

"How sweet of Yatsu-chan, I was only gone for a few days I can't believe you missed me so much you're going to treat me to a meal. After all, it's not as though you're paid as much as me. I mean you're just a Chunin with all your little C and B-Rank missions. Well, if you insist you know, I can never say no to you." Now Yatsuko knew he was just pushing her buttons, one glare at his smug face confirmed her theory. He gave her another bold smirk, before pointing to a restaurant down the road a bit. "I want you to take me there!" Yatsuko grabbed his arm before swiftly kicking his feet out from under him. Without a second thought, she spun him several times building momentum before throwing him carelessly behind her. He landed with a loud grunt, she didn't care, not even when the townfolk eyed him with concern as they stood and whispered in the background.

"What gave you the idea I'm treating you to anything, moron!" She shouted back at him. Despite just having been thrown to the ground with alarming force Deidara just laughed his lips cracking into one of those half smiles he worse so well. Yatsukos cheeks grew warm despite the chilled fall breeze. "I-I don't give a damn where you want to go! Honestly, I don't even think I want to see you right now. You can be such an insensitive jackass you know that?" Yatsuko exhaled sharply before continuing further into town.

Deidara caught up with her effortlessly, gently he grasped her wrist. Without a second thought Yatsuko landed a hard punch to his stomach, he crumbled over for a moment still keeping his clutch on her wrist.

"Ow! Jeez, you shouldn't hit your senpai so hard. Come on now, you know it hurts like a bitch when you throw me around like that. You hardly even pulled that last one, hmm." He laughed. Yatsuko clenched her fists trying futilely to pull them from his grasp, it was like he was asking to get hit again. Sensing her aggression, he quickly grasped her other hand in his "Ok, ok I'm sorry about the money joke it was too much. How about this let me take you out, my treat, hmm." Deidara pleaded, his smirk morphing into a half-mocking pout.

His crystal blue eyes with hers, her cheeks flushed in frustration. She couldn't help but wonder if strangers passing by would think they were a couple having a lovers spat. Yatsuko furrowed her brow at him trying to resist, but she could never stay mad at him especially not when he gave her that look. There was just something about those crystal blue eyes that always made her lose her nerve. She gently tugged her hands from his grasp crossing her arms over her chest a sigh of defeat escaping her lips.

"Fine, but you're getting me anything I want no questions asked! I want mixed rice and tempura," Seh demanded, she cast a glare back at him deciding he needed to be punished a little more. "Also I won't forgive you unless you share it with me!" Deidara made a disgusted face, he hated mixed rice, and she knew it. "If I hear one complaint out of you, I'm going to send you through the wall! Do you hear me!" Yatsuko slammed the door of the small restaurant open only to be greeted by all of her comrades and family. Her parents lowered there head in embarrassment, along with most of the other shinobi in the village.

The color drained from her face when she realized they had all just heard every word she said. She heard Tetsus' distinctive chuckle break through the silence. Within a moment they all shot up and shouted 'Congratulations.' Yatsuko was too mortified and moved to say a word.

She quickly wiped a forming tear from her smoky gray eyes before turning to face Deidara. A lump formed in her throat feeling suddenly guilty for throwing and punching him so roughly before. He had never forgotten at all, of course, he hadn't. Deidara could be selfish, but he had never let her down, not once, not when it really mattered.

He was leaning in the doorway with a smug grin. Deidara crossed his arms over his chest, quirking her brow expectantly at her. Yatsukos' bottom lip quivered as he closed the distance between the two. His rough, crafters hands pushed a few stray strands of her whiskey brown hair behind her ear before bringing her under his arm once more. She trembled with excitement as he reached into his pocket to pull something out before pressing it into her small hand.

"It's a present, I made it just for you. My best masterpiece to date, don't you think, hmm?" Even when giving a gift he had to make it about himself. She didn't care, he was right after all. To her, every piece he made was more perfect than the last. "Look at it, I went all the way to Yugakure to get the moonstone for the eyes."

Yatsuko held it out to examine it better. It was a small owl, about the size of the palm of her hand. She fingered the edges softly admiring the superior craftsmanship and exceptional detail that could only come from him. Everything was incredible from the intricate details to the soft edges, especially the luminous silver moonstone he had adorned as its eyes. It looked as though it could fly from her hand any second. Yatsuko grasped it to her chest, not wanting it to escape.

"I'm so proud of you Yatsuko. I knew you'd get approved, hmm." She suddenly felt foolish for ever doubting him. The look he gave her made her want to kiss him more than ever. Instead, she thought better of it and threw her arms around her childhood friend instead. If she ever had a doubt it was erased at that moment, she was in love with him.

Present

Yatsuko jerked awake suddenly her chest still heaving as her stormy gray eyes glanced out the window. The sun was already high, she groaned slightly as she sat up in bed regretting sleeping in so late. She hated when she dreamt of him, no matter how much sleep Yatsuko got on those nights she always woke up exhausted. It had been nearly three years now since that asshole ruined everything, he betrayed her and their village. Even just a glance out of her window reconfirmed how many things had changed since that horrible night. She felt the bile build in her throat at the thought of him.

Flashes of him came into her mind, the way his golden blonde hair would blow in the wind, the look in his crystal blue eyes as he smirked at her. The worst part about thinking of Deidara was that she couldn't deny how badly she actually missed him. Everything, the way he would flick her nose, or how he would push the hair from her face, his comforting scent of clay and pine she especially craved the feeling of his embrace. Quickly she pushed him from her mind, that Deidara was dead to her now he saw to that the night he tried to destroy the village. Thinking of him was futile, as far as she was concerned he had been dead for three years.

She forced her self from bed before sauntering towards her dresser, her eyes flickered to the small grey owl that sat at the corner. It's moonstone eyes glistening at her, mocking her. Despite the resentment and year that had passed Yatsuko just couldn't bring herself to destroy it. It was the last piece of him she had left. The last bit of him that she wanted to keep forever. Yatsuko sighed as she pulled on a maroon cotton tank top and her brown flax Jonin vest. She slipped into a pair of mesh armored tights before stepping into black shorts that reached mid-thigh.

Emptiness filled her as she tied her dark teal headband loosely around her neck. It was that time again, she was going to have to see the Tsuchikage and pick up another mission. It was a necessary evil if she wanted to keep a roof over her head. A pit of dread filled her stomach as she tied her silky brown hair into two high, even ponytails. Hopefully, she could find good mission today that would pay well. If she had to escort another merchant or model she might gouge her eyes out with a kunai.

As the years crept by Yatsuko found herself less and less content with the life she was being forced to live. Iwagakure had many enemies, and it was her duty as a ninja to keep her village safe. Yatsuko hadn't realized at the time, but her promotion was done so the Tsuchikage could have more high ranking ninja to do his underhanded bidding. It made no difference that this was supposed to be a time of peace Onoki always slipped in missions that seemed to hurt their 'allied' nations in some way.

Peace seemed a concept the Village Hidden in the Stone was unable to grasp. Yatsuko had actually been foolish enough to think it would be possible to relax and take some time for herself every once in a while. Unfortunately, due to Iwagakure insatiable lust for power, that was just not the case. Recently she was hardly given a full day off in between missions some of which lasted for months. Her days now were all a monotonous cluster of killing, spying, sleeping than getting up and doing it all over again. Everything seemed to blend together, like the mucky brown tones that flooded her village.

Her jaw clenched as she ran downstairs and her older brother came into view. His hulking and flabby form lay snoring on the couch where she last left him. A dozen or so empty beer cans littered the dirty green carpet beside him along with a clearly forgotten cigarette lingering in a crystal ashtray. Sighing Yatsuko put a thin grey cotton sheet over him, this behavior was nothing new.

She lingered over him for a moment fighting the urge to break his head in with her fist. He was so inept, one quick punch to the throat, she could put him out of his misery and maybe hers. Yatsukos stomach dropped disgusted that the thought had even crossed her mind. Instead, she quickly turned head towards the door. She would rather eat breakfast elsewhere, the smell of beer and cigarettes permeating the air was making her feel ill.

Slowly Tetsu grumbled as he shifted on the couch, yawning he peered up at her. A small smile crept onto the corners of his lips at the sight of his baby sister, he rubbed his puffy red eyes before giving her a little wave. Yatsuko scoffed and turned her back to him, of course, she loved her brother. Unfortunately, his actions during the past few years had been a never-ending stream of disappointments.

"Going out without saying goodbye?" Tetsu grunted as he sat up on the worn espresso couch. Yatsuko closed her eye for a beat trying to think of the best way to respond. Fighting the urge to crush his windpipe became more and more difficult with each passing second.

"I was just going to pick up a mission, one of us has to pay for things around here." Yatsuko seethed with resentment at the fact he continued to let everything fall on her shoulders. Tetsu claimed he was traumatized by the death of their parents followed so closely by the destruction of the village, he insisted the thought of fighting anyone ever again was too much to bear. She knew her brother better than that, he was just lazy and used it as an excuse to lay around and do nothing but drink and smoke all day on her dime.

Besides she had been through the same as him, how was it fair that she had to keep it together. In fact one might argue that she had an even rougher go than Tetsu, Deidara was once her closest friend. Not only had she lost her parents and have to deal with the fact most of the village had been reduced to rubble, but she also had to deal with the loss of the only person she ever really gave a damn about. Yatsuko pursed her lips as she continued towards the door not wanting to stay in the boozy sweaty stench that was her living room.

"No need the Tsuchikage sent this letter to you this morning. The courier said it was urgent and top secret " He handed her the opened scroll with a cheeky grin. Yatsuko glowered down at him with her piercing grey eyes. "What? I saved you the trouble of opening it yourself. It seems like some serious business. It's B-Rank assassination mission; apparently, you have a contract for some stupid town healer in from the Kirigakure. It pays 100,000 Ryo." Yatsuko was barely listening to him anymore. Instead, she quickly scanned the scroll before crumpling it up and shoving it into her bag planning to burn it later.

"You aren't supposed to read these Tetsu." She said sharply, " It's for your own good." Yatsuko furrowed her brow and sighed instantly regretting her harsh tone. He was a lot of things, but he was still her older brother and the only family she had left. "I should be back in a week or two, maybe you can try and get a mission too. You might run out of money while I'm gone." She mumbled nervously, all she heard was the sound of another beer can opening.

"Good one sis, I just can't bring myself to do it. All the flashbacks, it's too much for me you know that don't you? Besides you're the spectacular Jonin being pulled for top-secret missions, go prove it make mom and dad proud." He sneered before taking a few large gulps from an already opened beer can. Yatsuko glared over at him before grabbing her bag and walking outside, at a time like that her resentment bordered on pure hatred for him.

She paused at the rubble of her neighbors' house like she had so many times before. The town had become so sullen since Deidara attempted to blow up the village three years ago. She crouched down and picked up a jagged grey rock from the rubble. Her home had never been particularly vibrant and warm, but now it was little more than a bleak, desolate wasteland. The longer she stared, the more her ire took over, she effortlessly crushed the stone into dust before turning to leave.

Yatsuko pushed the traitor from her thoughts once more as she began to make her way towards the mountains that nestled Iwagakure. Staying angry was an excellent way to lose focus, losing focus would only get herself killed. After all power without focus is just arrogance, it was one of the lessons she had actually learned from Iwagakure.

It was a little lonely going on missions alone, but she preferred it this way. Without a partner, there wouldn't be an opportunity for someone else to let her down like she had been countless times before. Besides, she would attract less attention on her own. All she did was keep telling herself it was for the best. Killing a man who only healed others, it just had to be for the best.

Hope you enjoyed chapter one I have 8 more ready to go and am still writing, please leave a review and let me know what you think. Like I mentioned earlier this has been a little passion project of mine for a while. Timeline wise I'd say it's a bit before Shippuden, it's just easier to write an interesting story without having to include an original character in completely cannon events.