The Crossworld Pipe

by penguindf12

Written when I was 12 or so - the OC protagonist, known only as "human," falls into the titular pipe and has super-fun adventures with everyone's favorite bear and bird!

The Crossworld Pipe by Piitogamew

~Chapter 1-The Pipe~

Hello! My name is…oh, shoot. I've been on the Isle O' Hags so long I forgot my name! I was a human once but now… Well, I'll tell you later. I vaguely remember how I got here…

It was a snowy day, and I had found a small hill with an ice patch on it. I decided to slide down on it because at the end was a large snow bank that I decided would stop me. Boy, was I wrong. I slid to the bottom, only to break through the bank.

I kept sliding until I came to a big gray pipe. I couldn't stop, so I slid right into it. Inside was a long tunnel with what looked like a bluish warp with the letters 'BK' on it. As soon as I hit it, the world around me smashed like glass to reveal a cold, icy world.

I then realized that I was on a cliff. I toppled off of it. Thud. I looked up to see the pipe I had come from, and saw the little warp thing. It was the same as the one I had come in, except it had 'HW' printed on it. The cliff I had fallen off was steep, with ice on the side. I knew that I could never climb back up it.

Suddenly, I heard a voice. It said: "Hey Kazooie! What's that pipe up there for?" I then heard another. It said: "No idea. One way or another, I don't care." Then a thing turned the corner. All I saw was a bear. Nothing else.

Suddenly, a bird popped out. It said: "Hey! What's that? It looks like a taller Mumbo without a mask and different clothes!"

I noticed it was pointing at me. The bear then said: "Hmm… you're right. It does. Is it a baddy?"

"No. I don't think so. It isn't attacking us."

"You're right. I wonder if it needs our help."

"Fine. Let's go see."

The duo walked over to me. "Who are you?" the bear said.

"Umm… a human?"

"What the heck is that?" said the bird.

"Kazooie! Be nice!" said the bear.

"Oh, okay."

"C'mon, 'human'. Let's go." said the bear.

"Hey! Who are you two?" I said.

"I'm Banjo," said the bear. "And this is Kazooie."

"Not pleased to meet you," said Kazooie.

While we were talking, I noticed a huge oil rig, an igloo, and a small passage that looked like it led to a volcano. "Where are we?" I said. Banjo responded: "We're in a place called Hailfire Peaks, the icy side. The other side is called the lava side."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, we're here to collect jigsaw pieces, or jiggys. We take them to Master Jiggywiggy. He uses them to open up new places to collect jiggys," said Kazooie.

"But why even collect them?" I said.

"Because Grunty the witch and her two sisters killed our 'friend' Bottles the nearsighted Mole. Actually, I don't see why we even bother…" said Kazooie.

"Because King Jingaling got turned into a zombie, too." Said Banjo.

"Oh." Said Kazooie.

"What were we doing before this interruption?" said Kazooie impatiently.

"Oh yeah! We were going to Humba Wumba's wigwam." Said Banjo.

"Who's that?" I said.

" She's an Indian witchdoctor. She turns us into things like Submarines and Vans."

"Cool! What are you going there to turn into?"

"A snowball."

"And Kazooie?"

"Nothing."

"Why?"

"She likes being a Breegull. Or something that terrorizes people."

"Oh."

And with that, we set off to the wigwam.

~Chapter 2-Hailfire Peaks~

As the now-a-trio walked towards Humba Wumba's wigwam, they discussed what (and if) I should turn into. We settled it at the fact that I should turn into a molten lava ball (It would be handy to melt snow).

We then entered her wigwam. A huge pool of pink liquid was sitting in the center of it. "Who that?" said Humba Wumba.

"This is 'human'. We found him near that icy cliff with the 'HW' pipe coming out of it. What does that stand for anyway? You fell out of it last year, didn't you?" said Banjo.

"Yes. Me fell out year ago. It stand for 'Human World'.

" I get it! You're that lady that mysteriously disappeared last year!" I said.

"I want to be a snowball," said Banjo.

"And I want to be a ball of molten rock."

"You bring two Glowbo?"

"Yup."

Banjo hopped in the pool, while I got a bottle of the pink liquid to drink. Banjo hopped out a giant snowball. I walked (Banjo rolled) out of Humba Wumba's wigwam. I held the potion over my head and drank it. I felt woozy. The world spun. I was lifted in the air. I saw an explosion of sparks. I was now as big as Banjo.

Banjo rolled into the snow, and grew. He was now twice my size. I rolled into the snow. It melted. We rolled around until we came to an igloo. We rolled on inside, and found Boggy the polar bear. He was lounging around on an ice chair, and watching an ice TV. They both melted because of my heat.

Boggy stood up, angered at us. "Now look what you've done! You melted my TV! Sheesh… Hey! I'll give you a reward if you leave…"

"Sure!" said Banjo. And so we left, and got rewarded with a…bucket of ice water.

We then headed over to the oil rig. " Now what's wrong with this thing?" said Kazooie.

"Hmm… it looks jammed. Hey! A switch! I'll go press it." Said Banjo. And so he did. Only to be disappointed that ice was jamming the interior. I melted it…and the rig itself.

"Great. There goes another jiggy, thanks to lava boy." Said Kazooie.

"Maybe we'll make better progress on the lava side," said Banjo.

We then went over to the side mentioned. I found that if I rolled in the lava, I grew. We rolled inside the Volcano nearby, and found switches that raised new platforms.

Suddenly, Banjo melted & evaporated. It was just Kazooie and I now. We pressed all the switches, got a jiggy, and went to the Icicle Grotto. I hardened into rock. It was just Kazooie now. She ran off, and came back later with Banjo, as himself.

She dumped a potion on me, and I turned back, too. "No time to lose," she said. "We've got to get to the temperature control room, so we can get on top of The Hailfire Peak."

"What?"

"Okay, I'll explain. Here it goes: I talked to Humba Wumba, and she said that I had to defeat Chilli Billy to get your healing potion, and Chilly Willy to get Banjo's. So I did what she said, got the potions and a jiggy, but they said that their older sister, Hailfire Tilly, would avenge them by calling Grunty's brother, Wartom. So we must destroy her before that happens!"

"Then let's go," said Banjo.

We ran outside to the pool of heated water. It was waaay too hot to swim in.

"If only we could cool it down…I could use Shack Pack to press that button, and open that door to the temperature control room…" said Banjo.

"Hey!" said Kazooie. "We have enough jiggys to open Cloud Cuckooland. Maybe we can find a way to open it there."

"You're right." Said Banjo. "Let's go."

~Chapter 3-Cloud Cuckooland~

Banjo, Kazooie, and I left Hailfire Peaks, and went to the Wooded Hollow. There, we entered Master Jiggywiggy's temple. Banjo had to complete an amazingly simple puzzle to make him use his Crystal Jiggy to open Cloud Cuckooland.

We then left the temple, and hopped into a silo. We then warped to the Isle O' Hags Wasteland. We walked past a huge dinosaur head that Banjo said led to a place called Terrydactyland, and then walked into a blue cavern that led to a huge bubble. We hopped inside, and were carried to a series of cloudy islands.

We hopped on a Blastaplant and were shot to the main floating island. Kazooie Bill Drilled a few rocks, grabbed some beans, and walked away. We then went to an area with a pool of water, an Eyeballus Jiggium plant, and a giant living ice cube.

We walked over to the ice cube, and asked him who he was. He replied: "I'm George Ice Cube. I was strolling with my wife, Mildred Ice Cube, when a blizzard hit, and blew my kids and I (Tom and Jenny Ice Cube) up here. Now push me off of this wretched island before I have to hurt you." Said George. "I believe I am right above the icy side of Hailfire Peaks."

We decided that even though he was a snob, we would do the good deed. We shoved him off his perch into Hailfire Peaks'…lava side. He melted as he hit the boiling water we were trying to get into. We could hear him scream his last words: "You idiots! Wrong side! Tell Mildred I love her…"

"Oh, well. Serves him right. At least we can swim in that water now." Said Kazooie.

We then headed for the bubble we had come in, but it was gone!

"Hey! Were did it go?" I said.

Suddenly, Mumbo Jumbo came running up. "Bear! Bird! Evil shaman called 'Mingy Jongo' stole bubble! He live in red skull near here!" said Mumbo.

"We're on it!" said Banjo.

We then ran off to the red Mumbo hut. Little did I know that the 'Mumbo' we had talked to was really Mingy Jongo.

When we got to the red skull, we found 'Mingy' in 'his' hut. We began beating up on him until he screamed, "Stop!! Me real Mumbo. The one you talk to was evil. Me good."

"Oh, yeah? Prove it!" I said.

"Okay. Me almost turn you into T-rex in Banjo-Kazooie."

"Alright. He proved it. Let's go to the blue skull and show Mingy what we're made of." Said Banjo.

And so Banjo & Kazooie hopped on a nearby flight pad, and flew to the blue 'Mumbo' hut. I stayed behind. They returned, swollen.

"What happened to you?"

"Bees," Said Banjo. "They took our bubble and flew away."

"Then I'll have to stop them." I said.

I then took a Blastaplant to Humba Wumba's wigwam, where I turned into a Bee. I flew to the beehive atop the main island. I shot a stinger into the target, which opened the door to the hive. I flew inside, to find a tournament celebrating their move into this nest.

The first prize was the bubble, second a jiggy, and third a page off of some book. The object was to shoot down as many wasps as possible. I did so, and won first prize.

I returned to normal, and got Banjo and Kazooie. Banjo tapped his foot on the ground. "To get Jamjars over here." He said. Jamjars popped up, and taught Banjo the Sack Pack move. This tap was called the secret Jamjars code. We then left Cloud Cuckooland in the bubble.

~Chapter 4-Hailfire Peak & Isle O' Hags~

Banjo, Kazooie, and I left

the bubble and walked to Hailfire Peaks. Once we got there, we hopped into the now-cooled pool of water. Banjo used a swap pad to use Shack Pack and push the switch, and this opened the door underwater that led to the temperature control room. Banjo and Kazooie then teamed up and went inside, while I was left outside, because I couldn't swim under that far.

Fortunately, they drained the water into some pig's pool, which was at one time too cold. That cooled it. I then entered the temperature control room, and climbed up a nearby ladder. I entered a place called Hailfire Cavern. It was about 70 degrees Fahrenheit inside. "Hey! What's that?!" Said Banjo.

I turned around to see a giant tornado twisting in the center of the cavern, and it sucked Kazooie right out of Banjo's backpack! We watched as Kazooie was launched out of sight. "Hmmm...From the looks of things, she'll land in the Isle O' Hags quagmire." Said Banjo.

Banjo dug around in his backpack. He pulled an ice egg out of his pack. "Kazooie shot an egg at me when I was trying to use Breegull Blaster. I saved it for just such an occasion." He said. Banjo chucked the egg at the towering terror. It froze the twister into a huge ice block.

"Quick! Run up the ramp!" Said Banjo. We went up the ramp, and ran outside the cavern. We soon reached the top of Hailfire Peak. A huge pool of pink liquid (like the kind in Humba Wumba's wigwam) sat at the center of the Hailfire Peak crater.

Suddenly, a huge green dragon with a bow on its head popped out of the pool. This was Hailfire Tilly. It was twice the size of Chili Billy and Chilly Willy. "Are you the pizza delivery boy with my 24-foot cheese pizza I ordered from McJiggy's?" It said. "No, we're just you're neighborhood jiggy hunters." Replied Banjo.

"Then I'll eat you for dinner instead!"

The un-jolly green giant began launching huge chunks of rock out of its mouth. "Whoa!" I yelled as one skimmed my thigh. I ran over to what looked like a cannon. "Hey Banjo!" I yelled. "How do you activate these things?"

"You shoot eggs in them!" He yelled back. I sat there, trying to think of what to do. Kazooie was gone, so where would I get an egg? Suddenly, a smaller chunk of rock landed beside me. With that inspiration, an idea came to me.

"Hey Banjo!" I screamed. "Put these rocks in the cannons!"

"Sure!" He bellowed back.

I tossed a rock into the cannon, and it launched into Hailfire Tilly's forehead. "Yeowch! That hurt!" Tilly yelled. "I'd better change my line of fire!"

This time, Tilly shot ice rocks. Of course, we just loaded them into the cannons, and fired. Then Tilly said "Let me just have a little taste." And swept her tongue across the top of crater. It hit me once, and I decided that I don't want to be hit again.

Tilly then changed from ice chunks to fireballs. Those, we couldn't load into the cannons. So we were stumped for awhile, until I found out that some more ice chunks and rocks were lying around. We then loaded those in the cannons. Finally, she came down to just one more hit. Unfortunately, we were out of ammo by now.

Suddenly, Hailfire Tilly stopped shooting fire, and began shooting bombs. They exploded right as they hit, so we couldn't load those on. Banjo pulled out a grenade egg, and launched it from the cannon. It hit Tilly, and she plunged into the pink liquid. Her last words were: "Haha! I've already called Grunty's brother Wartom!" After that, she died.

"C'mon 'human' let's go get Kazooie!" yelled Banjo.

"What about Wartom?"

"He'll have to wait."

So we climbed back down the mountain, and headed over to the quagmire. We found no Kazooie. All we found was a note and Breegull footprints. The note said:

Dear Banjo,

I have gotten bored, so I have decided to leave. Follow my footprints to find me. I'm going to go see what that ice key is for.

With no love,

Kazooie

"We'd better follow the footprints," I said. We tracked them down to the Isle O' Hags plateau. We entered Glitter Gulch Mine, and followed them into the Waterfall Caverns. We discovered broken chunks of rock near an underwater tunnel, and Kazooie came out of the tunnel.

"Hey! Guess what!" Said Kazooie. "I unlocked a giant safe, and found a huge Glowbo!

"Wow! It must be that Mega-Glowbo Humba Wumba was talking about!" Said Banjo. "Let's go to Wumba's wigwam in the pine grove!"

So we traveled to the Isle O' Hags pine grove, gave the Mega-Glowbo to Humba Wumba, and Kazooie was turned into a dragon.

"Cool!" Said Kazooie.

We traveled to Cauldron Keep, where we found ourselves stranded outside of the Keep itself. A huge pool of poison surrounded it.

Suddenly, Banjo got an idea. "Hey! I could use Sack Pack to go across there and lower the dra..." he never finished because Klungo had snuck up behind him.

"Hey!" Said the Dragon Kazooie. "Why'd

you..." CONK! Klungo bashed Kazooie too.

"Hurr...Mistress will be proud..." said Klungo. "Hey! Who're you?" He was talking to me.

"Why should I tell you?" I said.

"Hurr...you make Klungo angry...you'll be Klungo's prisoner until you tell."

"No. You'll never catch me!"

I ran away, but he caught up with me. He drank some gray potion, and made himself faster. He grabbed me, and took me to a dungeon. He told me something like: "Your friends are being taken to Grunty Industries. I'll bet they got amnesia from that konk on the head."

[Note: From here until my next note, this story will be told by Banjo]

~Chapter 5-Grunty Industries: as told by Banjo~

I woke up in a factory-like place, in an area with big machines crushing everything nearby. I read a sign nearby, and it said 'Trash Compactor'. I couldn't remember anything about myself. I didn't know where I was, what I was or who I was. All I knew was that if I didn't get off this conveyor belt, I would be squashed.

I hopped off of the belt, and noticed what looked like a cross between a bird and a dragon. I ran over, and whisked it off the belt. I then left the Trash Compactor. I came out, and saw a huge hulking worker. He was carrying a 6-foot wrench. "Arrgh! Its that do-gooder bear!" It yelled. It began chasing me across what's called 'floor 1'. I then ran into another door, marked worker's quarters. I thought I was safe, until a spy-I-cam spotted me. It sent out the tintops, and they chased me all over the quarters, until I found a door leading to the 'men's room'. Inside, I met a toilet named Loggo.

He said, "Would you please unclog my bowl? Someone thought it was fun to flush a ton of paper down me."

"I have no idea what you mean, but I'll just sleep in your 'bowl'. So I used Snooze Pack to sleep in there. It was kind of wet, but I didn't mind. I went to sleep.

When I woke up, I found myself trapped on a conveyor belt, and I was headed towards a crushing machine. I tried to get off, but found I couldn't. I was tied down. I looked to my left to see the dragon I had rescued from the Trash Compactor. It untied me, and took me off of the belt.

"To repay you for saving me," it said, and it took off.

I read a nearby sign that said: "floor 4". I soon came to a fire escape, and went through it. I walked down the steps, and entered a door leading to floor 3. I then walked down a nearby stairway, and came out in floor 2. I headed down an elevator shaft, and came out on floor 1. I then returned to Loggo. I went to sleep.

The next day, I saw a 'wanted' poster. It had a picture of me on it! It said, "Wanted: Banjo the Bear. For: Trying to ruin Grunty's plans. Found: Usually near Loggo the toilet. Reward: 22 doubloons.

So that's what my name is, I thought. Banjo...

It then came to me that I should leave to find a new hiding place. I found two rooms, but they were already owned. While I was looking at a picture of some lady, a thought came to me. What about that locked door outside? I thought. There must be a secret entrance somewhere...

The picture I was looking at was somehow very thin, and I thought I saw light coming through it. The entrance must be through this picture... I suddenly found myself leaping at it. Rrrrip! I went through it into a hidden room. I then decided to go to sleep.

I plopped down on the bed and used Snooze Pack. When I awoke, I was greeted by the Dragon.

"Hey! Get lost! This is my room! I was here before you!" it said.

"Sure," I said.

I hopped out of the picture, and made tracks out of the Worker's Quarters. Nearby, I saw a different poster. It said: " Wanted: The Dragon Terror (May be Kazooie) For: High worker casualties (If it is Kazooie, also ruining Grunty's plans) Where: Anywhere. Reward: 59 doubloons"

"So that dragon may be some bird named Kazooie..." I said. "That sounds vaguely familiar..."

So I wandered around floor 1 for awhile, knocked out a few workers that were trying to capture me, until I came to a place called the Air Conditioning Plant. I noticed a stream of poison, a door leading somewhere, and a vent. I climbed into the vent, until I came to a place with a nice view. It was a yellowish window, with a huge fan as the view.

This place looked like a nice place to sleep, so I used Snooze Pack. When I awoke, I was very hungry. I left the Air Conditioning Plant, and saw a door I hadn't seen before. The only way to only way to open it looked like I had to step on a switch with my face on it.

I hopped on it, but the door wouldn't open. I saw another switch, and it had a picture that looked like the 'Dragon of Terror'. So I left, and wandered around until I found a place called the Train Station.

Inside, I found a train. I hopped aboard, and picked 'Cliff Top' as my destination. The train started up, and took me there. Once I got off, I met a guy named 'human'. He told me everything about myself. I now had my memory back.

We hopped back onto Chuffy, and went to Grunty Industries. We went to Floor 3's Fire Exit, but tripped and fell to the ground. We were right near the front door. It was closed. Suddenly, the door lifted up to reveal Kazooie. 'Human' informed her about herself. We then left for the Cauldron Keep.

[Note: From here on until my next note, Kazooie will tell this story]

~Chapter 6-Grunty Industries: As told by Kazooie~

I woke up from a deep sleep. I had no idea who I was, where I was, or what I was. I had had a strange dream... I was on a conveyor belt, and was rescued by a bear. I looked at my surroundings. I was in a place, just like the one in my dream.

A sign nearby said I was in the 'Trash Compactor'. I walked on out of the awful place in search of a place to sleep. I saw a bear, just like the one in the dream, being chased by a worker. The bear ran into a place labeled Worker's Quarters. For some reason, something deep down inside me told me to kill this idiot.

I wanted to be a vigilante. To stop evil in this grungy pit. I wanted to be the terror-striking doom emblem. A factorial legend. To start my new job, I would first destroy the worker. The bear had done nothing wrong, so I began my career by swooping over the worker. He tried to hit me with his wrench, but I pulled up just in time.

I banked, and opened fire with well, fire eggs. The worker went up in flames. "Bree! Bree!" I screamed into the night. This was the first attack. I spent the rest of the day slashing workers. Somehow I knew that they weren't working for a good cause. Sure, sure, they make underwear. This, I was sure, was just a cover-up.

Later that day, I went into the Worker's Quarters and found the bear sleeping in a toilet. Suddenly, a group of workers came in. I hid in a nearby bathroom, and watched as they took the bear away. I followed them to floor 4, and watched as they tied him up and sent him away on a conveyor belt. He was headed for a crushing machine! I quickly rushed to his side, and untied him, and picked him up.

At about that time he awoke, and I simply said, "To repay you for saving me." I was at that point sure he was the bear that had saved me. I then simply ran away.

Then I flew down the elevator shaft, and came out on floor 1. I then returned to my usual schedule of slashing workers. The final 'slashing of the day' was epic. I swooped down on the prey (the worker) and used the Beak Bomb on him. He still wasn't dead, so I landed and shot a stream of fire at him. That killed him.

That night, I discovered a hidden room in the Worker's Quarters, and went to sleep there.

The next day, I got up bright and early. I walked past the bear, asleep in Loggo the toilet. I flew up the elevator shaft, and got off at floor 5. Inside, I discovered a ventilation duct. I crawled through, and looked out a small window in there.

A meeting was going on. I could hear some of their words:

"Hey! You know what? Those undies we're sending to Twycross Island are sure going to be fun to see what they do!"

"What about the Dragon of Terror that goes around killing workers?"

"We're posting wanted posters at this very second."

"What about Banjo?"

"Posters are up for him, too."

"That dragon looks somewhat like Kazooie."

"That's included on the poster."

"Good."

After hearing this, I left. I went to my small hidden room in the Worker's Quarters, only to find 'Banjo' the bear.

"Hey! Get lost! This is my room! I was here first!" I said.

"Sure," he said.

The bear left my hidden room, and I just sat there for awhile until I got too bored, and left. I went to a place called the Air Conditioning Plant. Inside, I followed a plank to the right. This took me to a door, which I entered.

Within, I found a huge door, which slid open to reveal a giant welding torch. This, I later discovered was Weldar the nearsighted welding torch.

"Are you a bear?" Said Weldar.

"No."

"Are you a dragon?"

"Yes."

"Then DIE!"

Weldar began launching balls of electricity at me, but I dodged each one, no sweat. He then bent over and began trying to slurp me up through his nozzle. I quickly ran away, and shot blue eggs into his mouth. There was no effect.

I tried to think of the kind of egg that would kill him, but doing this let me put my guard down. He sucked me up. Inside, I noticed he had tons of flammable gas. This narrowed what I should use down to fire eggs or grenade eggs. He then spat me out.

He then shot more balls of electricity at me, yawn. As he tried to suck me up, I wisely chose to shoot grenade eggs at him. It worked. I then simply repeated the process, until he activated the electricity on the floor. This made it trickier, but still simple to dodge. I finally defeated him after 4 more hits.

He exploded to bits, leaving behind a small golden jigsaw piece. Even though I had no idea what it was, I grabbed it and took it away.

I went out through the Air Conditioning Plant, and caught a glimpse of 'Banjo' going to Floor 1. I am pretty sure he didn't see me. I decided to go back to my hidden room, and go to sleep because the battle with Weldar had made me pooped.

When I awoke, I went out to Floor 1. I flew around awhile until I saw a huge metal door that I had never seen before (Even though I don't know how I could miss it). I flew to it, and saw a switch with 'Banjo's' face on it that had already been pushed. I also saw another switch that had a face that looked like mine; only I was a bird instead of a dragon.

I landed on it, and it sunk into the ground. This opened the big door. It opened to reveal a big place I hadn't seen before, and 'Banjo' and some guy were standing there. They explained to me who I was, who they were, and were I was. We then left for Cauldron Keep.

[Note: From here until the next note, 'human' will tell this story]

~Chapter 7-My escape and Cauldron Keep~

Klungo caught me, and took me to Mayhem Temple's prison compound. I was inmates with some rat thing named Dilberta, that was taken away from its Glitter Gulch Mine home housed with some old prospector.

He said that a nearby rock led to the back room of the prospector's house. Hmm…I think that if I can bash open that rock, I could escape from here… I tried jumping up and down, didn't work. I tried punching, kicking, biting, stomping gnawing, etc. I tried everything. They all didn't work. I was stuck in there for a day before an idea hit me.

I would have to have Dilberta help me. I took her hat, and banged the secret Jamjars code on the ground. Jamjars popped up, and said "What do you want!? How dare you tap the secret code on the ground without a reason!!"

"I do have a reason!"

"Then what is it!?"

"Can you teach me a move to destroy this rock?"

"No! But I can move it!"

So he did. Dilberta crawled away, and I followed. The prospector rewarded me with a jiggy, and I left Glitter Gulch Mine. I walked around the Isle O' Hags in search of Grunty Industries, so I could find Banjo & Kazooie. My search led me to the Cliff Top, where I saw Chuffy the train pull in.

Hmm… I thought. I'll take Chuffy to Grunty Industries, wherever it is. To my surprise, Banjo got off the train! I could tell by his look that he had amnesia. I walked up to him and told him everything about himself. We then hopped on Chuffy the train and went to Grunty Industries.

When we arrived, we went to Floor 3. We climbed up the fire exit, but slipped on the stairs. We toppled to the front of the building.

As soon as we had stood up, the front door opened, and Kazooie exited. I broke her amnesia, and left Grunty Industries to go to Cauldron Keep, so we could finally defeat Grunty.

Kazooie and Banjo reunited, and we climbed up the pole to the witch's keep. We looked around for Klungo before entering, and Banjo and Kazooie split up again. Banjo used Sack Pack to get across a moat to press a switch, while Kazooie used Glide to cross it, so she could press her switch.

After pressing them both, the drawbridge near the center dropped. They then teamed back up, and crossed it. Unfortunately, an electric net covered the entrance. They went around back and pressed a Banjo-Kazooie switch, and this deactivated it.

We then entered the Cauldron Keep Gatehouse.

"Hey! This room's empty! I thought since this is a gatehouse that someone would be here…" said Banjo.

"Well, someone must be here every time the music changes like that, we have to get in a fight." Said Kazooie.

It was true. A strange DUM DUM DEE DUM DUM DEE DUM DUM DUM DUM started playing. Suddenly, Klungo dropped from the ceiling.

"Hurr…if me not destroy you this time, mistress will feed Klungo to monster…" said Klungo.

He then drank some reddish potion, and then disappeared. Banjo and Kazooie bonked him on the head with a well-placed Rat-a tat-rap. He then started throwing orange potions at Banjo. He dodged them. This was repeated for awhile, and they defeated him.

"Hurr…me give up job. Me want job that pays…maybe me work in office, or program silly games…" he said, and then left. We proceeded into the next room, and found Grunty and her sisters, Blobbella and Mingella at some game show thing.

"Welcome to the Tower of Tragedy," said Grunty. "I'm your host, Gruntilda! Okay, the rules for this game are to buzz in on a question you know. You get 2 points for every right answer, -2 for every wrong. The loser of each round will…"

She never finished her sentence, because Klungo barged in and bashed Grunty over the head with his large fist.

"Hurr…Klungo hate mistress' game…Klungo smash Grunty…" he said.

"Hey! Thanks Klungo!" I said. Then I muttered, " She was getting waaay too boring."

Suddenly, it hit me that we had forgotten about Mingella and Blobbella! I swung my head around, just in time to see them cast a spell on Klungo! They had turned him evil again!

"Hurr… Klungo will smash bear, bird, and strange thing!" said Klungo.

We dashed out of there, and into the Gunner Station. Kazooie turned the B.O.B. on 'blow'. A beam of energy launched out of the beam port, and reincarnated Bottles and unzombified King Jingaling.

We watched the screen to see a Jinjo run up to Jingaling and tell him something. Jingaling ran off with the Jinjo.

"I wonder what's up with that?" said Kazooie.

"No idea. It's probably not important." Said Banjo.

"Aren't we going to go to the top or this castle or what?" I said.

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot." Said Banjo.

We walked towards a cauldron on the floor.

"Hey, Dingpot!" said Kazooie.

"Howdy! Nice to see you again!" said Dingpot.

"Hey we need a lift. Can you get us to the top of here?" said Banjo.

"I could, but Grunty has Gruffy the Train (Chuffy's evil twin) loaded with P.B.O.B's (Portable Big O' Blasters), and she's sending them to the Jinjonavion War!" said Dingpot.

"The what war?" I said.

"The Jinjonavion. Some Jinjos are out in the Jinjo Jungle fighting the Minjos. The P.B.O.B's will surely tip the scale and let the Minjos win!"

"Oh."

"Everyone's there. King Jingaling (the Jinjo King), the Jinjonator (a Jinjo superhero), King Mingaling (the Minjo King), and even the Minjonator (a Minjo supervillain)!"

"So, I guess we should go intercept that train…" I said.

"Aww, man…I want to kick Grunty's butt right now…" said Kazooie.

"Don't blame me," said Dingpot.

"C'mon. We have to. Those Jinjos need our help." Said Banjo.

"Hey, Dingpot!" I said. "Where do we find Gruffy?"

"He's in the Cauldron Keep Train Station. Open it by punching the blank greenish-pink buttons on the B.O.B." Said Dingpot.

I ran over to the machine, and pressed the button that Dingpot had told us to press. Suddenly, a part of the wall slid away to reveal a small passageway leading to the Cauldron Keep Train Station. We walked through it into a big, wide-open area. A big red-and-orange train sitting on a train track. Nearby, a few Grublins were busy loading big boxes full of P.B.O.B's onto the caboose of Gruffy.

We hopped in the train part. Inside, it was just like the inside of Chuffy, except that the fire in the boiler was blue, and the ! pad was red instead of green. We tried to start up the train, but we heard a high-pitched voice saying that we couldn't (The voice sounded somewhat like Old King Coal's).

We jumped into Gruffy's Boiler to find a huge pile of pink coal in the center. "Oh, puleeze. I hope its not another Old King Coal…" said Kazooie.

Unfortunately, it was. The pile O' pink coal jumped up to reveal itself to be Chuffy's wife, Old Queen Coal. She looked just like him, except she was pink, and had a bow of the same color on her head.

"Trying to start up my train, huh?" said Old Queen Coal. "We'll see about that. You may have beaten my husband, but he's just a lazy bum. I'm much smarter than that ol' bimbo."

"What makes you better than him?" I said, even though I'd never seen him.

"Because I have blue flamethrowers!" she screamed as she began running at me, shooting balls of blue fire at me as she did it.

I dodged the first few, but the final one whacked me upside the head.

"Yeowch!!" I screamed.

Old Queen Coal then turned up the heat of the boiler. I was running out of breath! The floor was so hot I couldn't touch it! Kazooie shot a grenade egg at 'the queen'. A few chunks of coal fell off of her, and I picked one up (Just about that time the heat went off). I chucked the rock at Old Queen Coal, and she lost an arm! We repeated this for about 3 minutes (I got hit 3 times) before she went down. We then left Gruffy's Boiler.

We stepped on the ! switch, and 5 options came up. They were:

The Isle O' Hags Coastal Train Station

Grunty Lair Train Station

Freaky Funhouse Train Station

Rusty Bucket Bay Train Station

Wiztom Lair Train Station

I had no idea of where some of these places were, but I knew that the Jinjo Jungle was on the Isle O' Hags Coast. So that's what I chose. The train slowly started up, and it chugged along the track across the bridge that stretches across the Isle O' Hags quagmire. Were then consumed by the tunnel at the end.

We were in this tunnel for quite awhile, until we came out in a small grotto filled with seawater. I hopped off the train, and stepped out onto the beach that was the Isle O' Hags Coast.

~Chapter 8-Jinjo Jungle~

I looked around for awhile, and saw the waves sweeping in. To the right was a big jungle, blocked off by a concrete wall and net wire. To the left was a small graveyard. I read a sign just outside of it, and it said: "Jinjo Graveyard. Do not be alarmed by the many Jinjo ghosts. They are friendly."

We went around to the other side of the jungle. There was a small break in the wall & wire, and a sign next to it read: "Warning! Do not enter. The Jinjonavion War is going on in here. Signed, Jingaling."

"Then this must be the place." Said Banjo.

"Hey! Where's the people with the shipment?" I said.

Just as I said that, a few Grublins came around the corner, carrying the boxes.

"Pssst… Lets attack them before they even get in there." Said Kazooie.

We leaped at the Grublins, and bashed their faces in. Unfortunately, we couldn't use the P.B.O.B's because you had to enter the pass code to make them usable.

We got a few, and carried them into Jinjo Jungle. Once inside, we couldn't hear much. We heard a few silent sounds of eggs being shot. We made our way through, until we saw a fire burning in the middle of a base camp. We walked to it, and saw numerous Jinjos inside there.

We talked to one, and he said that we were in the Jinjo Base Camp. I walked away from Banjo & Kazooie, and entered a white tent.

Inside, I found the single member of the White Jinjo family. Why he was the only one was a mystery to me, so I asked him about it. He said: "You see, my older brothers, under order of the King, had to infiltrate the Minjo Village. They were never seen again."

"Why them, and not any other colored Jinjos?" I said.

"Because our family is close relatives to the super powered Jinjonator. We have a small amount of superpowers, but not as much as him." He replied.

"Oh." I said.

I went back outside the tent, and saw Banjo and Kazooie looking at a statue of a Jinjo. I walked to them to and asked, "Hey, what's that you're looking at?"

"It's the Jinjonator. He's been imprisoned for 2 years, and the Jinjos don't know how to get him out." Said Banjo.

"Yeah, but I remember how. Just shoot eggs into the bottom of him." Said Kazooie.

Kazooie did so, and the statue shook. It began to crack, and it suddenly exploded!

"I am the mighty Jinjonator…" said the Jinjonator, in a deep, mystic voice. "Who woke me up and why?" he said, dropping his mystic tone.

"Uh, we did. You need to help us defeat the Minjos." Said Banjo.

"Oh, those losers? Why didn't you tell me in the first place? Don't answer that. I guess I'll be off then." And he flew away through the trees.

We chased after him, until we came to a small clearing at the center of the jungle. We looked up to see the Jinjonator and the Minjonator fighting each other. I t was an epic battle, but they were moving so fast, I couldn't see what they were doing!

After awhile, we left the scene, and went back to the Jinjo Base Camp. We found it all in ruins. All that was there was a small note that said: "Haha! We know you're there, B, K & H. We've captured the entire Jinjo army! Come see us in the Minjo Base Camp, sissies! Signed, Mingaling"

"Urgh. Now we have to face up to an entire army alone! Just great." Said Kazooie.

We left the Jinjo Base Camp, and traveled across the jungle. Halfway across, we found Humba Wumba's wigwam.

"Hey! Maybe we should go in there! Do you guys have a Glowbo? I said.

"Err, no." said Kazooie.

"Drat. Then let's go find one."

We walked all around Wumba's wigwam, but found no Glowbo. I found a small cavern, and went inside.

Inside, I found three passages and a Swap Pad. Radiating from the walls was the 'Hee hee hee hee' of a Glowbo. I decided to go in the middle passage. Slam! I twirled around to see a big metal door closing behind me. I tried to escape, but I was too late.

I tapped the secret Jamjars code on the ground, but it didn't work. So I forged on ahead in the cave. I soon came to a dead end where I could see a small crack on the ceiling, with light shedding through it. I picked up a nearby rock, stood back, and chucked it at the crack.

That area of ceiling came tumbling down, and I crawled up to it. I peeked my head out into a small prison made of bamboo. There were Jinjos packed inside. Uh, oh…I thought. I'm trapped in a prison…

Using information from Banjo and Kazooie told me, this is what they said and did while I was trapped:

They saw me go in the cave, and they followed. By the time they had gotten there, I was locked in the middle passage. They went down the passage to the right, and found Jamjars. He taught them Banjo a move called Pack Lack, which allows Banjo to give his backpack to Kazooie to wear when he presses 'B' on a Swap Pad.

They left that tunnel and went to the one on the left. They found a Glowbo, and left the cave. Next, they went to the Swap Pad inside the cave and used Pack Lack. Banjo without the backpack went to Humba Wumba's wigwam and turned into a Minjo.

He traveled to the Minjo Base Camp, and told them that the Minjonator had lost the fight. This made all of the Minjos run to the scene of their battle.

Meanwhile, he released me and all of the Jinjos. We then paraded back to the Jinjo Base Camp, where we got a jiggy, and left Jinjo Jungle. We didn't ever find out if the Jinjonator or the Minjonator won, though.

~Chapter 8-The Hag 1 & Jinjo Graveyard~

We walked across the coast, passing the entrance to the Jinjo Graveyard. We decided to take a look inside to see a few sights.

As we walked through, we noticed a few headstones. I wrote down a few, just for kicks. Here's my list: "King Jingaling I. 1892-1928"

"King Jingaling II. 1914-1956"

"King Jingaling III. 1933-1977"

"Bartholomew Gray. 1989-2000"

This was all I wrote down. I noticed that there were 11 more graves with the last name of Gray. These were members of the Gray Jinjo Family that got killed by the Hag 1.

As we walked along, I noticed a blank headstone. I thought nothing of it. Suddenly, 12 Jinjo ghosts rose out of the 'Gray' stones!

"We are the Jinjos that were killed by the Hag 1…" said one of the Jinjos.

"Please destroy the evil machine… and bring us back to life…"

After that, they vanished. "Whoa! That was weird!" said Kazooie.

We left the graveyard, hopped on Gruffy the Train, and went back to Cauldron Keep. When we arrived, we hopped off and climbed to the top of it. We didn't need 70 jiggys, because all we had to do was bash the door down.

Once we got to the top, we found Grunty waiting for us in her digger, the Hag 1. She launched lasers at us at first, but we dodged them. Banjo and Kazooie then used the Breegull Blaster to shoot Grunty. Then Grunty activated more lasers, and tried again. Kazooie used Breegull Blaster again, and Grunty activated a Mortar Cannon.

We then used Breegull Blaster again.

Grunty got out another Mortar Cannon.

Used Breegull Blaster again.

Grunty opened exhaust port and drove around crazily.

Kazooie sent a Clockwork Kazooie into port to destroy a Hag 1 battery.

Grunty drove around crazily.

We sent in another Clockwork Kazooie to destroy another battery and disabled the Hag 1.

Grunty dispatched foot soldiers.

We used Breegull Blaster again.

Grunty released poison gas, and we destroyed the Hag 1.

After this defeat of Grunty, we went to the Gunner Station and reversed the B.O.B again to bring the Gray Jinjo Family back to life. We then left to celebrate.

Two days later, in the Hailfire Peaks' icy side

I was alone, and trying to get back up to the 'HW' pipe. I was unsuccessful so far, but I kept on trying. As I tried, I wondered what had happened to Wiztom. I wondered about that blank gravestone. I wondered about those places that Gruffy the Train could go. These mysteries will be solved in my next story, The Crossworld Pipe II: Wiztom and the Hag Ocean.