Secrets
Ch 1: (Think of Me)
Think of me, think of me fondly.
When we've said goodbye.
Remember me, once in a while.
Please promise me you'll try.
When you find, that once again you long, to take your heart back and be free.
If you ever find a moment, spare a though for me.
~Andrew Loyd Webber (The Phantom of the Opera)
Christine P.O.V
I woke to the sounds of my parents screaming at each other, as usual. I lugged myself out of bed, deciding that I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep anyway. I threw on a pair of ratty jeans and a v-neck purple shirt; I wasn't doing anything special today. I looked at my face in the mirror, frowning. I grabbed my make-up box so I could at least look half-decent. I took out some foundation and gently rubbed it on my sallow looking skin. It helped a little, making my skin glow the way it used to. There were still dark circles under my eyes from weeks of restless sleep, where I always woke to that one image I know I will never be able to get out of my head. I pushed the thought to the back of my brain immediately before the tears came.
I rubbed eye foundation vigorously under and on my lids to cover up the circles. Once my skin looked mostly clear and normal, I swiped on a thin line of brown eye liner. I brushed on a stroke of mascara to untangle my lashes. My eyes at least looked less dull and cloudy. If been through a bunch of shit these past few weeks, and it wasn't helping my looks. Mum screamed my name, and I winced.
"Coming!" I yelled back, desperately running a brush through my tangled hair.
"CHRISTINE!" Came another yell. Oh well. I gave up and just tied my hair back into a messy ponytail and came clopping down the stairs.
"Wh…" I stopped in the middle of the stairwell as my eyes took in the sight before me. My mom was smiling hugely, and behind her stood a dark haired family. The mother stood proud and tall, her dark hair falling in long waves down to her chest. Her eyes were dark, and I couldn't recognize the color. Next to her stood a man equally handsome, his dark hair shaggy. He had the same dark eyes. A boy who must be just starting sixth year stood next to them, scowling. The family stood proud, with an air of royalty. I met eyes with the last boy and my breath caught in my throat. His beautiful stormy grey eyes bore into mine, and unwanted memories flashed before me.
His smile. The way he kissed me. The way his perfect lips formed my name. Seeing him laying on a couch in the Common Room, his lips pressed against a girl I didn't recognize. The way he tried to apologize. The tears I have cried because of him. I blinked everything away, and tore my eyes away from Sirius Black's.
"Why are they here?" I asked through gritted teeth.
"Well, as you know darling, the Quidditch Tournament is next week. Walburga here, who I was chums with in school, invited us to come along with her. How lovely is that?" Mum replied, smiling warmly. I knew that smile was fake.
"Oh." I said softly.
"We are leaving today at noon, so I would suggest you pack while I give them some snacks and tea." Mum smiled again, nodding toward the stairs. I slowly walked back up, my heart racing and my head spinning. I was trying not to hyperventilate, and failed almost instantly. I threw my stuff into a bag, only thinking that Sirius effing Black was in my house. The one who cheated on me with a girl whose name I now knew as Marlene McKinnon. She was known for a slut, and luckily she is now out of Hogwarts. That's the only luck I've been having recently.
I took the time to brush and straighten my hair a little bit, but, despite my attempts, it still looked lanky and greasy. Why do you care what he thinks of you? He cheated on you. I tried to tell myself, but I knew it was hopeless. Of course I would want to look good for my ex, and of course that just wasn't working out to well for me. Once my important belongings were packed, I took the time to make my bed and organize my dresser. It was made up of little trinkets I had collected over the years, letters, and pictures. Lots and lots of pictures. Of my family, friends, celebrities, sketches, ect. They were stuck in the sides of the mirror, taped onto the mirror, or in frames. I stared at the only picture frame that was facing down. I mustered up my courage and gently picked up the broken frame.
I remembered all the times I had pummeled this frame into my bedroom walled, as if I hoped to break the picture inside. The gorgeous face inside had broken my heart, and yes I will admit that Sirius Black is gorgeous. He wasn't your typical hot guy; he was the type of gorgeous that made your thoughts blur and your eye sight go fuzzy. I had been warned he was heart breaker, but he seemed different around me. I thought he really cared, everyone thought he did. But once again, he surprised us all.
I gently slipped my finger into the back of the frame, and cut my finger in the process. I cursed angrily and stuck my finger in my mouth. The picture stayed trapped inside. In frustration I threw the frame at the same place in the wall I always had previously, but this time the entire frame shattered. I stared in shock as the picture gently drifted to my feet, unharmed. Sirius stared up at me, his dark grey eyes smirking, his lips curved up into a lopsided smile. Blinking back unwanted tears; I shoved the picture into the bottom of my bag and grudgingly dragged my feet downstairs.
"I'm ready." I grumbled once I reached the kitchen, dropping my bag onto the floor. A ringing silence fell, the entire Black family staring at me.
"It took you long enough dear!" Mrs. Black finally said, smiling coldly at me. I opened my mouth to argue, but closed it when I remembered that it would be disrespectful. I could argue with my own family, not my ex-boyfriend's.
"We are nearly finished with tea, and then we will Apparate there." Mum added, leaning against the kitchen counter elegantly. It wasn't fair. She looked beautiful without even trying. Her hair fell to her waist, a dark chocolate brown in color. Her eyes were also a warm brown, but they could turn cold before you could say 'sorry'. She walked with grace, her head held high. She was proud of being who she was, a pure blood married to a gorgeous pure blood husband. And then there's me. I'm average height. I have long black hair, stick straight of course. The only thing un-average about me is my startling blue eyes, the kind of blue that you see in a child's sweet, or the color Cerulean in a crayon. I used to walk with the same air of royalty as my parents, but ever since Sirius Black came around, I've changed.
"How have you been, darling?" Mr. Black asked me. I had met Sirius's family on one occasion, when they came to pick up Regulas at Christmas last year.
"I'm well, thanks. How are you?" I replied stiffly, lying of course.
"I am great as well." He answered. I could feel Sirius's eyes on me, and I wondered for a fleeting moment if he was going to talk to me. Of course not you idiot. He doesn't care about you .I thought. He's a lying, cheating arse. I added to make myself feel better.
"So you're Christine." Said a voice somewhere to my left. I looked up awkwardly, avoiding eyes with the person sitting across from me, and stared in the direction the voice had come from. Regulas Black. I had never talked to him before, since he was a Slytherin and known to be a Death Eater.
"That's me." I answered him quietly. I noticed he had surprisingly pretty eyes, despite the way the rest of him looked worn and drained. They were a dark hazel with light golden flecks around his pupil. Hm.
"So your parents didn't tell you about this trip? They just sprung it on you?" He asked, leaning toward me. He had a nice voice, gentle and soothing. I had to tear my eyes away from him. I reminded myself that all Black's are like that, irresistible.
"Yes, they did exactly that." I muttered, straightening my back and trying to look regal.
"They did the exact same with Sirius and me." Regulas said, as if that was a coincidence. I stared a Sirius's fist on the table, and noticed it was clenched tightly.
"Why are we leaving so early for the Quidditch Tournament if it's in a week?" I asked curiously.
"So we get our tent pitched right by the court." I had expected Regulas to answer me, but instead Sirius did. I looked up and we met eyes. An unwanted memory flashed before my eyes before I could block it.
The Day After Exams, 6th Year
I was in my dorm on my bed, laying on my stomach and reading over the Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. I was pretty sure I got a question about how many gallons of blood a vampire consumes a day wrong, and I just had to check. Lily was flipping through her book as well. As I flipped further into the book, I procrastinated more, fretting over my answers.
"Okay this is no help." I stated angrily as I jumped to my feet, slamming my book shut. Lily looked up, her pen jutting out of her mouth.
"It is for me. Do you think I could have at least scraped an O if I missed only one?" I nodded, even though I wasn't really sure.
"Well this is just making me worry, so I'm going to get some fresh air." Lily nodded absentmindedly and went back to studying. Sighing, I left the dorm room, making sure to stomp loudly as I left. I walked into the Common Room and I could hear moaning and rustling on the couch. Gross. I did not want to run into another make out-fest. I glanced at who it was as I walked by and I froze in my tracks. I didn't recognize the girl, but the boy had dark shaggy hair and had no shirt on. He was on top over her, kissing her fiercely. He… he looked like Sirius. I stared, my mouth open. Hurt, realization, shock, anger filled through me.
"Sirius?" My voice shook and I felt dizzy. The boy looked up and his beautiful dark grey eyes stared at me. The girl shoved him off, and stood up, straightening her tank top. She was gorgeous, no doubt. With caramel skin, long gold tainted hair, and dark brooding eyes she looked like a supermodel. It didn't help that she was wearing a reavling tank top and a short skirt.
"Sirius, is this your girlfriend?" She asked. Her voice was clear and she sounded aggravated. Sirius didn't answer, he was staring at me. I hadn't realized I was crying until a tear rolled down my cheek. The girl gave me a smug smile and swept out of the room. I was left staring at a guilty Sirius. Hurt beyond belief filled through me. I felt numb.
"Christine…" He started, his eyes pleading.
"No. I trusted you." I interrupted, my voice cracking.
"It wasn't like that." He tried to explain, but I cut him off again.
"You were making out with a girl on the couch Sirius! After all we've been through; this is what you do to me." Tears were flowing down my cheeks freely now, there was no use trying to hold it all in. He looked down.
"I'm sorry, I…" He trailed off.
"Exactly. I don't know about you, but I meant it when I said I love you Sirius! I thought you had changed, I thought you were different!" My voice was rising. He was just staring at me, looking tortured. I couldn't care less.
"I did mean it." He whispered.
"Then what the hell Black? You just couldn't resist it? Resist HER? Couldn't find a better way to break up with me?" I shouted, trying unsuccessfully to wipe my eyes free of mascara. I hadn't called him Black since we had started going out. That seemed like years ago.
"No Christine, never, I just I was…" He stepped toward me and took my arms gently. I shook him off and glared at him.
"No. I'm done. I'm done with you, I'm done with this, and I'm done with EVERYTHING!" I screamed. He shook his head, his eyes sparkling with tears. I don't care, I don't care, I don't CARE.I repeated over and over in my head, as he spoke.
"No Christine please I love you I don't know what I was thinking…" He was begging now, his eyes wet, but no tears streamed down his cheeks.
"Leave me alone." I snapped. I pushed past him and out the portrait hole, crying uncontrollably and knowing that Sirius Black had just single handedly ruined my life.
I quickly tore my eyes away from Sirius's, snapping out of the memory. I felt my hands shaking, and I put them on my lap and out of sight.
"Are you kids ready to go?" Mum asked cheerfully. I nodded stiffly while Regulas and Sirius mumbled in their agreement. We all rose from the table and I grabbed my heavy bag.
"Oh, dear you won't need to carry that." Mrs. Black snapped her fingers, and with a crack, an ugly house elf appeared by her side.
"Kreacher, take her bags to our tent by the Quidditch Pitch." She ordered. The house elf nodded obediently and disappeared as fast as he had come. I blinked in surprise. My parents had never hired a house elf; my mum always said that they were too dirty.
"Now that that's taking care of, Regulas darling come Apparate with me." I noticed how she completely ignored Sirius, and I felt a trace of pity. Regulas scowled by being addressed as 'darling', but reluctantly walked gracefully to his mother's side.
I took my mother's hand tightly, and my father gripped my arm. I could hear Sirius stomp to his father's side, and in a moment I heard a sharp crack from one side of the room. Before I could look around, I felt the familiar sensation of being squeezed through what felt like a tube. I gasped, even though I had been expecting the sensation. I opened my eyes slowly, accustoming to the bright sunlight. We were in a field of rich greens, bustling with the commotion of people in brightly colored robes. To the left of me was a huge Quidditch pitch, with rows and rows of stands and boxes.
I noticed someone was right next to me, I could feel the heat of the persons arm on mine. I whipped my head toward the person, and noticed that Sirius was right next to me. I stepped away from him awkwardly, just as a little man in bright orange robes trotted up to Mrs. Black.
"You're Grace!" He squeaked, bowing lowly. A smirk curved up Mrs. Black's lips, and I no longer questioned where Sirius got his famous smiles from.
"Marvin." Mrs. Black replied to the little man, apparently Marvin. He grinned cheekily.
"How may I be of assistance?" He asked. Mrs. Black dug through her cloak pockets (which were a lovely green in color) and came up with a slightly crumpled piece of paper.
"Here we are." She handed Marvin the list. He bowed again, and disappeared with a loud crack.
"Shall we find our tent?" Mr. Black held out his arm to his wife. My family trailed behind the Blacks, walking for about five minutes. I was absorbed in my beautiful surroundings, staring in awe at the important looking people, lush grasses, and of most importance, thousands and thousands of tents. Large, small, differently colored, you name it. They were scattered here and there, but the Blacks wove through them easily. I tripped over a few tent wires and thanked my lucky stars that Sirius was ahead of me and not behind. Finally we reached what seemed like the largest tent of all, flapping in the wind. Of course it was green and silver to support Slytherin.
"This tent is an original, handed straight down from descendents of Slytherin himself." Mr. Black was bragging. My father nodded earnestly as we entered the grand mansion hidden inside the tent. My mouth dropped open as we entered the foyer. There were slick black tiles and emerald green wall paper. Two spiraling staircases led upstairs on either side, to reveal elegant black railings. The foyer stretched on into a crackling hearth surrounding by plush cushions. The ceiling above us must have been at least three stories. It was so beautiful.
"It's nothing much, but it will have to do." Mr. Black said modestly.
"Nothing much?" I asked, staring at the married couple in shock. "It's gorgeous." Mrs. Black beamed and flipped her hair.
"You think so? I designed it myself." She said proudly. I could tell she was going to start boring me with facts about her decorating process. I prepared myself to at least try to look interested. Someone cleared their throat, and everyone looked around in confusion for a moment. Then all eyes fell on Sirius. He was leaning against the door, looking impatient.
"Excuse me. Aren't we supposed to be showing them the tent and not bragging about it?" He said coldly. Even I was surprised at his rudeness, and Mrs. Black looked affronted. The father's eyes widened in shock. My parents looked at each other, while Regulas seemed indifferent. Mrs. Black's expression immediately turned to anger. Her lips twisted up in a grimace.
"Sirius. Meet me in the office for a moment." Mrs. Black's tone of voice was sharp, her teeth were gritted together. Even I had to admit that she looked scary. However, Sirius just clenched his jaw and glared at her, but followed her into a leading corridor. Mr. Black forced himself to what he probably hoped was a winning smile.
"I will show you around." He said cheerfully.
An hour later, everyone met up in the dining room for a late lunch. I hadn't seen Sirius since his mother took him away, and I was beginning to feel anxious. Not to see him of course. Just worried that she was hurting him. At least I wished I only felt that way.
Mr. Black had showed us around, and the entire house was just as beautiful as the foyer. I got my own chamber next door to my parents, in our own little section of the house. Once we reached the dining room, dinner was already on the table. It all smelled so delicious, my mouth started watering before I even sat down. Mr. Black took his place at the head of the table, my father on one side to him, Regulas on the other. My mother sat next to my father, and I took my seat next to her. Sirius would sit across from me, and I felt obliged to ask my mother if I could switch spots with her. But I knew what her answer would be, so no point in asking.
We waited for a few chatter filled minutes before Mrs. Black reentered the room, a triumphant smirk on her face. She took her place at the other end of the table. Sirius entered after her. His face was hard, and I noticed he was wearing all long sleeves. That was odd, considering it was over seventy degrees out. He was walking with a slight limp, but still looked gorgeous even while injured. I wondered what she had done to him, cut him? Kicked him? Whipped him? It looked like possibly all three.
The parents eloped into conversation, and for the first time in a while, I tried to catch Sirius eye. I looked at him frowning. He was staring down at the lovely meal in disgust, his hands clenched into fists on top of the table. He was shaking visibly. Finally he looked up at me, his eyes dark and hard. He stared at me for a moment, me too mesmerized to move. Then he tore his eyes away, refocusing on his food.
"So Christine." I lifted my head from my plate and locked eyes with Mrs. Black. She had dark, cruel eyes. So unlike Sirius's grey light ones.
"How did you and Sirius meet exactly?" She was really going out of her way to make him mad, and it was working. His hands were in fists again and he was glaring menacingly at his silverware. Everyone was looking at me for an answer.
"We had all classes together last year." I said lowly. I distracted myself by stuffing my face with the unknown food on my plate. It tasted amazing, but even that couldn't block out Mrs. Black's next words.
"Sirius speaks very fondly of you. It's always Christine this and Christine that." She looked pleased with herself, and Sirius looked horrified. His mouth was slightly opened, and his cheeks were flushed. Then his expression hardened. He stood up from the table, making a loud screeching sound. He shot death rays at his mother, before strutting out of the dining hall.
Everything was silent after that. I couldn't forget what she said, had Sirius really told his family about me? Somehow I doubted it, but some part of me believed it.
Hey guys! This was meant to be a sequel of another story, but I didn't like the way the first one turned out. So I decided to just put this one up. I hope you guys liked it! Please read/review and let me know what you think. Constructive critsizm would be nice. Thanks!
~Lots of love,
Alaina