It was cold. My frail form shook, teeth chattering as I waited in line. I had been pickpocketing for a while now, hoping to save up for this.
Today, the Funtom Company's toy store was holding a raffle for two tickets to the circus. I was really excited, because I had just enough money to enter. As I approached the shopkeeper, he gave me a look of utter disgust.
"We don't give handouts here. Begone." I stood as tall as my bony body allowed me to, and handed him my money, which was crumpled and dirty from being carried around in my shift.
"One raffle ticket, please." He blinked a few times in surprise before handing me my ticket. I ran outside and down into an alley, where a skinny white pair of legs were sticking out of a pile of trash. I grabbed hold and pulled, a filthy street girl coming out with a disgusting slurping sound.
"Hey, what's the big idea? I almost had something good!" The girl wiped grime off of her dirty brow, grungy brown curls bouncing around her thin face. Her green eyes, once glittering, were dull with malnutrition and stress. This was my older sister, Nina.
"I bought the raffle tickets! We can check on them in a little bit!" She shook her head at me.
"A circus, though. Don't you think that could be a little dangerous? What if you get eaten by a tiger or something?" I laughed, shaking my head rapidly.
"No, sis, it'll be fun! I'll buy you some candy to eat afterwards, I promise!" She looked up to the sky, shaking her head because she knew full well how I got my money. She didn't approve of my thievery, but she knew that we wouldn't survive without it.
"Oh...I guess." I smiled and grabbed her hand, dragging her down the street towards the toy store. Inside, I walked up to the counter where the shopkeeper sat, twirling a ribbon for some noble children.
"Excuse me...sir?" He stopped his performance and smiled.
"Well, well. Amai Whitmond. What a pleasant surprise. I assume you're here for these?" He held up two gleaming black tickets, each one with a name on it, hand written in gold ink. I snatched them, muttered a quick thank-you, and ran out the door.
"Sis! Sis, I won! We're going to the circus!" She looked over at me, frowning, and for a moment she somewhat resembled the kept lady she used to be.
"Oh. Well, I suppose we should get cleaned up then."
After a freezing cold, soapless bath in the river, Nina dragged me, still sopping wet, to the circle of tents set up on the outskirts of town.
"Oh, Amai, I don't think I can do this..." I was wondering why she was so edgy when a clown ran past us, juggling colorful balls. Nina froze, clinging to my thin arm. Oh. That was why.
"Nina, are you afraid of clowns?" She shook her head rapidly.
"It's not that...it's just that you can never really tell what they're thinking! It's kinda creepy for someone to walk around all day with a huge smile, even if they want to cry. Or beat the living shit out of you." I patted her back and we walked into the tent. In the very front row were our seats, cushioned and marked with a black bow and placard: Guests of the Funtom Company. My heart skipped a beat as I sat down, playing with the soft, shiny ribbon. Was I really deserving of this? Me, a street rat, a guest of the Funtom Company? A large man sat to Nina's right, holding a bottle of ale. A few minutes later, before the show even started, he had a row of empty bottles lined up, and was laughing and shouting.
"Come on, then! Get on with the show!" There was a loud bang, and a young man appeared in the center of the ring in a cloud of smoke. He was the most elegant clown I had ever seen.
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for: let the show begin! First, we have our fire eater!" A man twirled a large torch, then closed his mouth over the flame. He then spewed these flames in front of the audience. I began to giggle and clap. I gazed in awe as the lion tamers, the ribbon twirlers, and the knife throwers all performed flawlessly. Nina on the other hand, was covering her face in terror.
"Next, we have our daring trapeze artists! For this act, we will need a volunteer!" I raised my hands and jumped up and down.
"Ooohhh me! Me! Pick me!" He moved his bony finger over the audience, then a spotlight landed on me.
"You! Young lady in the fancy seat!" I squealed and ran down to meet him. Nina let out a small horrified squeak. "Amai, you'll surely be killed!"
"H-hello, sir." I curtsied the best I could in my filthy white shift. He took my hand and kissed it gingerly, as if I was a well-bred lady.
"Good evening, my lady. My name is Joker." I smiled widely.
"Tonight, this girl will be taken to the highest tower in the high top, and dangled above death itself!" Two surprisingly young children came to me and helped me up a very high ladder. I could almost hear my sister screaming at me to get down. I made it to the top, the tower swaying slightly beneath me. They had taken down the high wire for this act. One of the kids ran past me, leaping into the air and grasping the trapeze. She twirled and leaped until she reached the other side, swinging gently. The boy then ran past me, grabbing hold. He adjusted himself until he was holding himself up by his knees, and reached out to me.
"Come on, then, missy. I'll catch ya." I took a deep breath before taking an extreme leap of faith. I closed my eyes and screamed as I fell. Would he really catch me?
I suddenly felt a strong, secure grip on my ankles. I looked up(er...down?) to see him holding on to me tightly. Oh god. I was so glad that I was wearing my long bloomers today. They helped me twirl, tossed me around, and at the end of the act, they threw me way up in the air, catching me and swinging me to safety on the tower. I heard a small snap, and people gasped as the tower swayed heavily. I looked down, and saw the clown, Joker, begin to panic.
"Oh, no! The sway line!" Looking around, I noticed a long wire dangling. Judging the pressure of the lines holding the towers together...I didn't have time to think. The tower buckled under the pressure, sending me tumbling down. I felt a grip on my foot, but the fingers slipped away. Nina was right. The circus is dangerous. Too bad it's too late now. I hope they give her the money tucked tightly against my ribs. I closed my eyes, and hoped for a quick death. Peeking open one eye, I saw something flash across my vision, then everything was black.