Letter From The Author: Sorry about disappearing for so long. I have seriously been going on an emotional roller coaster since my mom left for Iraq. Oh, and I lengthened the "I am—!" scene for no other reason than I just really wanted to. That, and the fact that I'd written the scene during a road trip out of sheer boredom and just adlibbed. Anyway, hope you guys likes it.

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"Something is truly rotten in the city of Detroit. Trash-bots all over town are malfunctioning due to a contract dispute between city hall and Sumdac Systems. Acting chairman, Porter C. Powell, had this to say:

"'Until this contract is settled, Sumdac Systems is not required to service this city's trash-bots.'

"In the mean time, garbage is piling up, and tempers are flaring up all over Detroit."

"I believe Detroit is in need of a new approach to waste management," Powell clicked off the television then turned his chair to face the two Sumdac Systems scientists "Dazzle me." One scientist dumped a pile of garbage onto the freshly polished floor. The second poured an orange serum onto the pile.

"As you can see, we've managed to work out the kinks in Professor Sumdac's old nanotechnology," a scientist said. The orange serum dissolved the garbage. "Repurposing these old nanobots into trash consuming microbots. And the best part is: we can manufacture these at a fraction the cost of the old trash-bots! Gehuhu."

"And charge the city even more for them. I'll make a tiny little profit and be a hero to boot."

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The Auto-Rover drove backwards to the garbage scow. Optimus pressed a button causing the dump-truck trailer attached to the rover to dump most of the trash onto the small boat. Then, some rather stubborn garbage got stuck and blocked off the rest of the trash. Prowl, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee then started pushing the trash out.

"This is even less dignifying than repairing space bridges," Prowl lamented, "Not to mention extremely unpleasant to the nostrils."

"Not only that," Sari said, "It smells bad."

"Well that may be," Optimus stepped out of the rover, "But this is still a good opportunity to mend some strained Earth-Autobot relations."

"Yeah, who knows? Once they start trusting us again, they may even start liking us again too," Bumblebee said optimistically. Meanwhile, Ratchet used his magnetizers to lift any metal out of the garbage pile. Amongst the trash was an old, red car.

"HEY THAT'S MA CAR!" an old, short man shouted at Ratchet, "Put it down now!"

"Yeah, yeah," Ratchet sighed. He turned off the magnetizer causing the car to plummet into the water.

"You…you…! You're gonna pay for that! Ya lousy alien! Ya gonna pay I swear!"

"Hey!" Ratchet stomped his foot, "YOU'RE the one who parked your car under a trash heap!"

"Now listen up ya overgrown idiot! That trash wasn't there when I parked it!"

Ratchet used his magnetizer to wrap two metal bars around his legs and lift him up, "And how is that my fault?!"

"HEY! YOU PUT ME DOWN NOW! I KNOW MA RIGHTS! AND I'M CALLIN THE COPS!"

"Maybe liking us is too much to ask with Ratchet around," Bumblebee sighed.

"You! Quit harassing the Autobot!" Fanzone pointed at the old man, "You put down the citizen!" Ratchet reluctantly set the man down and removed the pipes. "The city will cover the damages to your vehicle sir. Now I suggest you go about your business."

"This isn't over!" the old man barked. Ratchet merely raised a brow then flashed his magnetizer. The old man then ran off.

"And you, my Autobot friend, could stand to work on yer people skills," Fanzone suggested.

"There's nothing wrong with my people skills!" Ratchet retorted.

"Ya know, you're starting to make Fanzone look like the friendly one," Sari commented.

"HEY!" Fanzone and Ratchet said at once.

"Sari's right Ratchet," Optimus said, "No amount of good deeds can make up for a bad attitude. I think it might be a good idea for someone to work with you on projecting a more pleasant disposition."

"I pity the poor fool who gets stuck with that job," Bumblebee giggled with Sari. The laughs suddenly died. "He means us doesn't he?"

"What are you smiling at?" Sari demanded from Prowl.

"Apparently there is one job less dignifying than hauling trash," Prowl responded.

"And it looks like that job is at capacity," Optimus said, "Let's roll on home." Optimus, Bulkhead, and Prowl then walked away. Bumblebee looked from Sari to Ratchet and ran to the rover. Ratchet walked to the rover. Sari stayed behind.

"Will you get in already?!" Ratchet demanded.

"Ah ah. What's the magic word?" she smiled.

"NOW!"

"It's gonna be a long day," Sari sighed. She stepped onboard the rover. Then, the Auto-Rover drove off.

Not long after they left, the garbage pile on the scow glowed in bright, blue energy. A beam of light shot upward. The trash started to move and gather. The AllSpark fragment was soon surrounded by garbage which made itself into a human-form. Wire, spaghetti, and string formed long curly hair. Discarded buttons formed eyes. Soon, the trash had formed a human figure. The figure stood up, dripping in garbage. He shook himself like a dog, shaking off the trash, and revealing the newly formed man.

"I am—!" he began, but stopped, "Uhh, what am I?" He reached into the large metal "backpack" bin on his back and pulled out a nutrition label. "Oh yeah! Uh, I am High-Fructose-Corn-Syrup-Partially-Hydrogenated—No that doesn't sound right." He threw away the label and pulled out a cereal box.

"I am Good-Source-Of-Vitamin-D-And-Part-Of-A-Balanced-Breakfast! No that's not it either." He threw the box away and pulled out a microphone.

"Is this thing on?" He tapped it, threw it away, and pulled out a pizza. He looked around and took a bite of it.

"Yech, I hate mushrooms," he sighed and threw it away. He pulled out a bra. He looked at it confusingly and placed it on his head then threw it away.

"Eh, not my size." He pulled out a roll of tissue paper and squeezed it. He rubbed it against his cheek and tossed it away. He saw some flies buzzing around his head.

"Can any of you tell me who I am?" He couldn't hear what they were saying so he pulled out a hearing horn and placed it in his ear.

"Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Buzzy, buzzy, buzz buzz. Well that just sounds ridiculous." He tossed away the hearing horn. He pulled out a chainsaw and looked at it once again curiously. He pulled the cord. The chainsaw roared to life. The man yelped and threw it into the lake.

"Can't anyone tell me who I am?! All I need is a SIGN!" he screamed to the heavens. Just then the sky answered him, and a blimp flew by displaying an advertisement for the Detroit Police. The man read it aloud.

"'Detroit Metropolice Department. We're Here To Help.' Sounds good to me!" he cheered and skipped out of the junk pile onto the docks. He ran off and began his search for the Metropolice.