Foaly, And His Little Games
What does Foaly really do at work? And, what little schemes and games does he play with his best friend and a young Irish teenage genius? Perhaps a collection of events could lead to something more, and he can see more than the pair do? Artemis/ Holly.
Foaly the Centaur sat at his computer, giggling. Now, it's quite something to hear a Centaur giggle. Foaly, was no exception to this rule, and, as he sat looking at the flashing numbers in front of him, tapping his hooves in excitement, he giggled. What amused the Lower Elements Police's technical adviser so much was not apparent but, it was that giggle that led to many things.
Foaly, being of a normal temperament for Centaur, was finding life quite enjoyable that day. He'd woken to find a large bowl of carrots for his breakfast -courtesy of his wife- and enjoyed them very well indeed too, he had been told he would be getting a bonus for his new inventions, and then spent a most thrilling hour destroying the new version of Facebook so the mudmen had to revert back to the old one. But nothing, could compare to what he saw at that moment on the computer screen. Artemis Fowl the second. It was too much for Foaly, the scene he was watching sending him into loader spasms of laughter. It was a good thing his booth was sound proof is all that can be said about the volume of his laughter.
Artemis Fowl the second was on a date, but, not just any date. The girl he had managed to ask to the theatre (Artemis didn't go to places as crude as the cinema, naturally) was stunning - even by Foaly's standards.
"For a mud girl…that mud girl sure is something" Foaly said to himself.
She was tall, with incredibly long legs, which, Artemis spent a great deal of his time (when he thought she couldn't see) staring at in awe. Pale skinned, with a well defined face and figure, were but few of her assets. Her long red hair obviously fascinated Artemis as much as it did Foaly, and the grey-blue eyes that held Artemis' one brown and one blue, were almost as powerful as the Mesmer for the holding of attention.
This was the reason for Foaly's mirth.
Artemis, was not doing incredibly well on this date. For once, his tongue couldn't seem to unstick itself from the roof of his mouth and find a response -bad or otherwise- and, his date was becoming bored with the theatre. Artemis was unaware of his surveillance at that moment in time, or if he was he'd assumed the LEP would give him privacy. He was wrong, for once. For, as said before, there was Foaly - laughing at him- over one-hundred feet below the earth's surface.
"A-Amanda," stammered Artemis.
"Yes?" replied the girl, in honeyed tones. Maybe she was in it for the money pondered Foaly many miles below them.
"Would you like to leave?" Artemis asked her. Amanda nodded happily with, no doubt, other ideas about where that could lead. Artemis was, strictly speaking, seventeen, almost eighteen. Amanda was sixteen, and from what Artemis could conclude, being sixteen made a girl one of two things. The same, or desperate. Artemis - if his brain had been working properly- would have placed her into the latter category. Foaly, however, knew nothing about the way a teenaged girl's mind works. That was, until that night.
Artemis walked Amanda to his car. A Lamborghini. Being old enough to drive (theoretically) and, being a genius, had led to Artemis getting a car and driving licence. Not that he needed to drive, when he had Butler he could be driven by someone else, he had decided to try it nevertheless. Unfortunately, when you mix a large Lamborghini, no adult supervision and two teenagers nothing good can come from it. At least, to everyone but the two teenagers. When you add a spying Centaur into the equation, it begins to get messy.
Artemis held Amanda's door for her, she thanked him and he walked around the front of the car to the other side. Opening the driver's door he stooped, and climbed into his seat. Artemis started the engine, performed a perfect three point turn and left the theatre's car park. He then began to drive Amanda home - much to her annoyance.
"Artemis!"
"Pardon?" he replied, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.
"Why are you taking me home?"
"Will your family not be home yet, then? I could drop you off anywhere you please." Artemis said, his tongue repeating its earlier havoc with his conversational skills. And, that was saying something as social skills had never been his forte.
"Of course they're home. Why do you want to go there? Are your parents out? We could go to yours."
Artemis shook his head. His parents were in with Myles, Bekett, Butler and Juliet.
"Well, let's just park somewhere." Amanda replied with a look on her face that Artemis could only describe as predatory. That was, of course, if he hadn't been tounge-tied and if he hadn't been utterly confused by the statement.
"If that's what you want to do…" Artemis replied, uncertainly, still trying to work out what she meant. Why would she not want to go home? Why would she want to just park anywhere?
They passed a cul-de-sac, and Amanda commanded that was where they should go. Artemis did a u-turn and followed the road up into the cal-de-sac, parking neatly half way up the road. There were no houses in the cul-de-sac, however, which puzzled Artemis, but he trusted that Amanda had a reason for it - whatever it was…
**
Captain Holly Short followed Number One dutifully as he pottered around the city, both cloaked in illusions. Number One was currently a stunningly pretty young boy, of around seven. Tight blonde sat atop his disguised head, and orb like blue eyes gazed around at the busy city with excitement. Holly held his hand, acting the part of 'older sister'. Long blonde hair hung around her shoulders - she was beginning to feel like Lily Frond - she was taller than normal and her eyes, instead of one being Artemis blue and one hazel, were a bright green.
It was a fieldtrip for Number One, and because she was his friend, and he had requested it she was his chaperone for the week while they were in Dublin. The deamon had his face and pudgy hands pressed up against the window of a shop, steaming the glass with his breath and staring in wonder at the piles of toys in the display. She knew it was a bad idea to let the small deamon out near Christmas - he'd be asking for train sets and other such mud people frivolities.
She was almost thankful when her ear piece crackled into life and she heard Foaly's voice in her pointed ear.
"Holly…"
"Yes?" she replied, leaning up against the wall near to a still absorbed Number One.
"I think…" Foaly broke into a fit of giggles, which a confused Holly waited through and he then continued. " Artemis…needs a little…assistance." the sentence was punctuated with hysterical laughter and Holy frowned. It couldn't e anything bad if the Centaur was giggling about it.
"What's he done this time?" she queried, checking Number One hadn't disappeared while she'd been looking away. He was now drooling over the pile of chocolate next to the pile of toys.
"Well, okay maybe you don't want to rescue him…but, he's with a girl."
The elf sighed, "Is this you wanting me to ruin his date?"
"No, don't worry - he did that himself," Silently, Holly agreed how possible that was, "But, I think he might need a little help to get away from him, you see…" Holly rolled her eyes.
She gave in, she didn't want to admit it, but some part of her didn't like the idea of Artemis being with a girl on a date, "Fine, where is he?"
"I'm sending you the co-ordinates now…" she heard tapping and, looking down at her wrist watch saw Artemis' location in the for of a pulsing red dot.
"Got it."
"Holly, don't get too trigger-happy." he warned.
"I'll pretend you didn't say that, Foaly." she replied angrily, as if she'd get trigger-happy, especially with a mud girl, and over a mud boy. Number One looked up as she grabbed his hand and began to drag him down the high-street and into an alley.
"Transport us here." she told him, showing him the location on the watch. The small deamon smiled at her and nodded - thankfully his transportation skills had improved considerably.
"Hold on." he told her, she gripped his shoulder tightly and they vanished.
**
Holly looked around the cul-de-sac and groaned. It was seriously too much, the large Lamborghini sat at the side of the road, and she could tell that Artemis was either going to be relieved at rescue or interrupted. Either way, Holly quite relished the idea.
She and Number One strode over to the car, and she pulled the door open.
Artemis Fowl looked up, terror clear on his face, a girl clawing at his shirt. He seemed surprised but relieved. The girl had been inches away from his face, but he tumbled out of the sports car and onto the grass when the door opened.
"What the hell do you think you're ding?" demanded Amanda, glaring at Holly Short - still disguised as a blonde teenager.
"Rescuing your prey by the looks of it." The elf commented, while Number One clutched her hand and quavered behind her like a puppy.
"You bitch!" screamed the red-head, Holly raised an eyebrow in amusement.
"You better run along home now, before you end up in more than one piece."
"I wouldn't pick a fight with me," the 'date' warned menacingly.
"Really? I wouldn't pick a fight with me if I were you," Holly warned, and to Artemis' sudden understanding and amusement - with a certain degree of embarrassment added in there too, she pulled out her gun and inspected it casually.
"OMFG!"
Holly frowned, "Pardon?" she wasn't up to date on human slang. Artemis looked up at her and explained.
"Our version of D'arvit."
Realisation spread across the Captains face, then turned to anger, "Oh, bad move, Red Riding Hood - I suggest you start running…" the gleam in Holly's magically green eyes scared even Artemis as Amanda screamed and began to run away…and then fell over because of her ridiculously high heels.
Number One chuckled, as did Holly. They both turned to Artemis, who was shame-faced and more than a little embarrassed.
"Thank-you, Holly."
"You're welcome, Mud boy." she told him, holstering her weapon and admiring his car.
"How was that woman torturing you?" Number One asked curiously, Artemis blushed and looked at his feet, muttering something incoherent.
"Come on, let's get you home." Holly told him, "You have Foaly to thank for your rescue."
"I will." he agreed.
Number One smiled, "You two would make a good couple you know…" both glared at him, and punched one of his shoulders.
"That would never happen!" both yelled, but caught each other's gaze and held it for longer than necessary.