A/N: Almost forgot to put this in .

Anywho's, this is the first Rewritten chapter. Tell me what you think people, and I'll reply in kind. Possibly scathingly.

The only real major changes are the timeline and Kairai's demon. It has now been demoted to Gobi so it meshes with Canon better.

Naruto lay upon the ground, bleeding heavily from a hole in his shoulder. '…Is… Is this the end…?'

"ARGH, YOU STUPID BRAT! THIS DAMNED SEAL IS PREVENTING ME FROM HEALING YOU FAST ENOUGH!" Naruto smiled, the corner of his lips twitching upwards slightly. "…Bye, bye…" Truthfully, he couldn't think of some wisecrack to throw at the fox.

He heard footsteps, and a figure came into his incredibly blurry eyesight. "Now isn't this a coincidence… I don't suppose you could tell how many fingers I'm holding up, now could you?" the voice of the newcomer was light-hearted, and obviously faked. He could make out silver-hair and a smile that would kill newborn puppies from sheer creepiness. It wasn't… evil. Just… not right. It was the kind of sickeningly sweet smile that made grown men burst into tears.

The figure had the audacity to actually hold up some fingers. Naruto could see 7, despite the fact that the figure had only held up one hand. He could vaguely hear him saying something; he managed to catch the words, "Such a mess…" and "It's been raining pretty strongly, huh?" before he succumbed to the far less creepy darkness that had begun to enshroud his vision; his last thoughts were on the no doubt thoroughly insane figure that had quite simply, attempted to discuss the weather with a dying adolescent.

Kakashi and Pakkun burst through the trees, the former looking around frantically whilst the latter sniffed the ground. "I can smell Naruto's scent… It ends here…" He said, gesturing at the bloodstained ground. There was an outline that vaguely resembled Naruto's body, with a slashed Konoha hit-aite next to it. "The hit-aite's Sasuke's…" noted Pakkun, having gotten a good whiff of it. Kakashi's face was grave. "Can you smell anything else?"

"There's another scent… But it's weak. The rain has weakened it and the blood is overpowering it." Kakashi shook his head sadly. 'Naruto… Where are you? What happened to you?'

Naruto opened his eyes blearily, finding himself face-to-face with the person from before; Said person was standing over him, the same eerie smile on his face. "So you finally awoke, Sleeping Beauty. Look's like I wouldn't have to give you a kiss after all…" Naruto had the sudden urge to punch his face in, were it not for the fact that some tight bandages signalled him that doing so could be detrimental to his already poor health. "Name's Kairai, Zetsumei Kairai. What's yours, Whiskers?"

The urge returned and this time Naruto didn't restrain it. His fist connected solidly to the smiling visage of the newly-introduced, Kairai. The only reaction was a slight shift in the position of his head. "If you want to take out your anger, there's a log right there." He pointed to a conveniently placed log, right next to him. It had a surprisingly good replica of his face painted on it for good measure.

Naruto stared at him blankly. He paused to take in his appearance. Simple black shinobi pants, nothing flashy, and a pair of geta. A black, open anorak with a fur-trim hardly covered the fishnet shirt underneath. A pair of fingerless gloves covered his hands, to finish his look. His silver hair was drawn back into a short pony tail, and a pair of mauve eyes stared at him. A slashed Iwa hit-aite adorned his forehead, keeping the hair out of his eyes… well, some of it anyway. The hair itself was wild and untamed.

"Now if you've stopped the quite delicious urge to bash my face in, I believe I should fill you in on why you're here and whatnot."

"Please… Do go ahead."

"I brought you here, because of what you are"

"You brought me here, because I'm Jinchuuriki?!" Naruto shouted, not liking the idea,

"No, I brought you here because you're blonde, and I wanted to make a wig out of your hair." Naruto paled; a bright flash and clicking noise was emitted from the corner, as Kairai laughed. "What… Just happened?"

"You fell for an obvious lie."

"…"

"Moving on, yes, I brought you here because you're a Jinchuuriki… The only reason for that is because I'm a Jinchuuriki." Naruto blinked, surprised. "I'm doing this because… I have a vision. A Vision of all nine Jinchuuriki united under one banner, flag, and/or symbol." Naruto sweat-dropped as he took a dramatic pose, a strangely efficient genjutsu backdrop appeared behind him. "… Then what…?"

"Then, we, as a whole, will decide our next course of action. Whether that's forming a village, mercenary group, business, living ordinarily, or just plain world domination… We will cross that hurdle when the time is right." He explained simply.

"Now, I'm going to give you a choice. See, I'm feeling nice and generous. Therefore, you have 24 hours. 24 hours to decide whether you want to leave, or join me. Rest assured, if you leave, it will not be the last you will hear of me. And no, I am not going to wage war." Naruto paused as Kairai began sharpening an already deadly looking knife. The blade was stainless and silvery, glinting in the light. Its edge was visibly jagged, and the blade itself was at least the size of his hand.

Kairai was humming innocently as he performed the task diligently, seemingly oblivious to the now quite-freaked out Naruto. "So… Which demon do you have?" He said, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice. He succeeded, for the most part. "The Gobi no Hokou, Whiskers…" Naruto's eye twitched.

"Do you mind not calling me that?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do mind. Thanks for asking."

Naruto huffed and walked around. If he went back, the villager's would despise him for simply surviving. Worst case scenario, he gets blamed for the failure and the whole incident. Best case, the beatings just get worse, because he survived. If he travelled with Kairai, worst case: The guy kills him in his sleep. Best case: The vision is fulfilled and he lives happily.

"… Any specific reason's why I should go?"

"Reason 1: I'm not going to kill you in your sleep, despite the fact I'm sharpening Tsukihi-chan. Reason 2: Jinchuuriki's can only truly be understood by their fellow sacrifices… No matter how much an ordinary person tries, they can never understand what its like to be us. 'Nuff said." Listed off the eccentric Shinobi, counting on his fingers for good measure, "… Fine… I'll come with you." Naruto muttered, giving in.

"Excellent!" he cried cheerfully. "Let us fully introduce ourselves. I'll go first. My Name is Zetsumei Kairai as you already know; I like puppetry, Tsukihi-chan, and everything sharp and pointy! I dislike people who don't smile enough and stuck-up arrogant people who believe any expression other than arrogance is utterly beneath them. My hobbies include; collecting sharp and pointy things, making puppets, creating poisons to go with my sharp and pointy collection and sewing… Now you, Whiskers!" he said cheerfully, pointing at 'Whiskers' who glared at him, darkly.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto and not Whiskers. I like ramen, training and learning new jutsu's. I dislike Sasuke-teme… After all, he did shove a Chidori through my chest. My hobbies include training and gardening." Kairai's eyes crinkled upwards into an expression eerily reminiscent of Kakashi. "Excellent! To fully inaugurate you into my… soon to be gang, you must be, a NUKE-NIN! So slash your hit-aite with Tsukihi-chan here and voila! Welcome to the… I don't know what to call ourselves." He tossed the silvery blade to Naruto, who used it to, reluctantly, slash his hit-aite.

"Welcome to the ranks! Current population: US!" he cried. Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Now… Let us... Recruit the others!" He paused. "… To KUMO!" he cried, pointing in the rough direction.

xXx In Konoha xXx

"… You are dismissed Kakashi." Tsunade said, reaching for her sake. "Shizune, Organize some ANBU squads. Their orders are to search for Naruto, and if found, to retrieve him alive."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama." Shouted Shizune, running off to perform the task Tsunade had given her.

xXx Back with the duo xXx

"How much further…?"

"About 2 more weeks of travelling…"
"Aw man…"

"If you're that bored you might as well learn to control the Kyuubi's chakra."

Naruto scrunched up his face. "Stupid furball…"

"Who, Me or him…?"

"Him…"

"Just hammer out some sort of agreement, or peaceful terms. It's what I did…" Naruto blinked at him, surprised. "What did you give him in return?"

"I'll tell you when you're older." Naruto face faulted.

"Why the hell do we have to look for the Kyuubi brat anyway?"

"What are you? An idiot…? I've got nothing against the brat, but if the power of Kyuubi falls into, say, Iwa's hands, then we're screwed. Period…"

"Pfft. Iwa would kill him on sight; he does, after all, have a startling resemblance to the Yondaime."

"Just try to regulate it, prevent it from doing too much harm to your body. The more your body adapts to it, the more you can control without killing yourself." He said cheerfully, demonstrating by pouring a large amount of the Gobi's chakra into his palm, compressing it into a small ball. He pushed said ball into a tree. One shower of splinters later, Naruto attempted to do the same. He failed miserably. "Keep trying…"

"… Hey… Is that him?"

"… Your right… That's him… Who's he travelling with?"

"S-Rank Criminal, Zetsumei Kairai, Gobi Jinchuuriki. He's wanted for killing a squad of Jounin, annihilating one of Tsuchi no Kuni's Samurai clans, attempting to assassinate the Tsuchikage and the assassination of the Daimyo of Tsuchi no Kuni. He's also a pretty good tailor." The other's sweat-dropped at the last bit of information, contemplating the relativity of that single piece of information.

"How much further now…?"

"We'll stop at a village up ahead…" Kairai's usual smile was on his face. Naruto had, with time, gotten used to its eeriness. "And now, for our next lesson; we have some volunteers!" He declared cheerfully. Naruto blinked.

"Volunteers…?"

"That's right, Volunteers! Consider this a Pop Quiz on Battle Situations."

"Damn! He knows we're here. Nothing for it but to attack…"

A team of four ANBU burst through the trees, as Kairai let Tsukihi slip into his hand. An ANBU drew his katana and attempted to decapitate the smiling nuke-nin, but the small silvery knife blocked the swing, slicing through the blade itself. "Oh dear… Don't make Katana's like they used to…" The ANBU, Hawk, growled, and got into the Jyuuken Stance. "Shi ne!" shouted the now enraged ANBU, charging at the smiling psychopath.

Naruto felt hands grab him and drag him away. Kairai's smile widened just a little bit. "Oh my, -san" He appeared in front of the ANBU in a blur of speed. "I can't let you do that…" The Bear masked ANBU made no noise, other than the whoosh of his katana. Bear froze as he felt the sudden pain of 7, five of which were fatal, strikes. He felt blood well up into his mouth, as his knee's buckled. "You bastard!" screamed another, charging at him. Kairai nudged Naruto, somewhat subtly signalling it was his turn.

Naruto made a Kage Bunshin, and together they formed a Rasengan. "RASENGAN!" shouted the Blonde-haired nuke-nin, shoving the swirling ball of energy into the ANBU's chest; Said ANBU was sent toppling backwards, the Rasengan having messed with his internal organs. Naruto froze as the ANBU vomited up blood, the Rasengan having hit his heart. An oddly comforting hand was placed on his shoulder; Naruto was too stunned to realize that it was dripping with blood.

"And that is all we found, Tsunade-sama." Tsunade shook her head. One of the bodies had a Rasengan wound. 'Naruto…' "Dismissed…"

Naruto sat there, silent. "Aren't you going to eat?" No answer. "I thought you were a Shinobi. Haven't you ever killed someone before?" Naruto remained silent.

"I'll take that as a no…"

xXx In Konoha xXx

"The demon should be killed for its treachery!" screamed a Council member. Tsunade felt like smashing his head in. "SILENCE! We're here to discuss the ranking he should be classed with, not the action's we'll take against him. That will have to wait for later."

"With all due respect Tsunade-sama, he should be at least High A-rank due to his status as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, as he does have its power at his disposal." Suggested one Aburame Shibi, "I have nothing against Uzumaki-san but if he manages to control even a portion of Kyuubi's power, he will be quite a dangerous opponent." Tsunade couldn't fault him there, but she did have an idea. "Very well… as of now, Uzumaki Naruto is an SS-Class nuke-nin." The Council gaped at her,

"SS-Class…? Aren't you giving the boy a little too much credit?" Hiashi said in his calm and collected voice. "As Shibi said, the power of the Kyuubi is limitless. If he masters control over it, he would be invincible. As it stands, he would still be a force to be reckoned with, perhaps on par with the Yondaime. Our next order of discussion will be the identity of his companion… Was there any sightings or information at all?"

xXx Somewhere near Kumogakure xXx

"Oi, are we there yet?"

"As a matter of fact… Yes. There it is… Kumogakure no Sato… Step 1: Break in…"

xXx Konoha xXx

"There was none, although our ninken did catch the scent of him. There was a strip of cloth we believe belonged to his companion, and we're keeping it for tracking purposes. It matches with Hatake's information of the Valley of the End battle." Tsunade groaned.

"Now all we need to do is find any and all nuke-nin that resembles or might have the scent of a wolf…"

xXx Kumo xXx

"Well… That was easy."

"To think, if the Raikage had paid them more, they might not have accepted our bribe…"

"Thinking about what-ifs gives me a headache…"

"We need to get you some new clothes. Your orange jumpsuit inspires suicidal thoughts in even the bravest of fashion-designers…" Naruto gave him a glare. "What…? It's true and you know it!" Naruto rolled his eyes. "The task at hand…?"

"Fine, fine… While we're at it, we'll get you clothes that don't make people want to gouge out their eyes… Unless that's your battle plan…." Naruto shook his head, staring at him in exasperation. "And people thought I was annoying…"

"You probably were; you're just too annoyed to be annoying at the moment." If looks could kill, Kairai would be six-feet under right now; maybe a bit deeper.

Kairai ignored the look of utter hatred and promptly dragged Naruto away to a clothes store.

"My friend here is lacking in the Fashion-sense department… Do you mind outfitting him with something that doesn't scream 'Kill me!'?" Kairai asked; his tone uncharacteristically polite. The tailor nodded, "Anything you hand in mind…?" Kairai shrugged. "Just one thing… Put the kanji for 'Kyuubi' on his back, and if you can, a single nine-tailed fox somewhere. That's all I ask… Whiskers here will probably want it in orange but try to keep it from being too much." He said, ruffling the younger teen's hair, earning him a mild glare. "Anything for yourself…?"

"Now that you mention it, just get me a black anorak like this one, only with the kanji for 'Gobi' on the back, and a five-tailed wolf under it." The woman nodded, and immediately began taking measurements.

"They'll be ready in about, 3 days." Kairai nodded and dragged Naruto off in search of a hotel.

Plopping himself down on a bed, Kairai looked over at Naruto. "Well… For the next Kami-knows-how-much time, we'll look for the local Jinchuuriki." Naruto nodded.

"You sure there's one here…?"

"Can't you sense and/or smell it…?" Naruto looked at him as if he was crazy.

"I found you by smelling the scent of your blood. Its scent identified you as the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, and it was easy to find because of its overpowering stench. This place smells of cat. And we're not talking the local alley-cat that likes to scratch people's faces off. We're talking the Nibi no Nekomata."

Naruto paused. "So you can smell him…? Like an Inuzuka…?"

"Inuzuka… Dog clan right…? Yeah I can smell him. It's a pretty simple technique. I channel the Gobi's chakra to my nose, eyes and ears for a substantial boost in those senses."

Naruto's curiosity was piqued. "Do you think it would work with the furball's chakra…?" Kairai face deadpanned.

"… Do I really need to answer that…?"

Naruto gave him another mild glare, and followed the Gobi Jinchuuriki was he traversed the town, sniffing at odd intervals and at times, cursing.

He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that this was going to be a looong day.