If I Had You, a glee fanfic

Disclaimer:I do not own Glee. Nor do I own the song, What I Wouldn't do, by A Fine Frenzy.

Kurt Hummel fell in love with Blaine Anderson over a Biology text book, an old mp3 player, and mini speakers.

Being in the Cheerios had dominated his life, leaving him to hardly have any time to study, Coach Sylvester's practices running late into the night and starting early in the morning. It had been hard to keep his grades up, but he'd managed to keep his grades high in all of his classes except one: Biology. There were just too many new words to memorize, too much information on the cells to take in, and soon enough, Kurt found himself searching throughout the school to find himself a tutor.

He'd asked around, and when no one would tell him who was good in Biology he'd resorted to asking his teacher if there was anyone taking the class that he could recommend.

"Well, there is Blaine Anderson," his teacher had said as he'd marked another test with a C. "He's really smart and always gets A's on the tests; why don't you try him?"

"What time does he have this class so I can ask him?"

"He is usually in here a few minutes before the bell rings for the end of lunch, try back here then."

True to the teacher's word, Blaine Anderson was sitting in one of the desks a few minutes before the bell signaling the end of lunch rang. Adjusting his Cheerio uniform, Kurt gripped his bag and walked towards him, ready to put on his best performance face; he needed a tutor, and not a lot of people would be willing to teach a Cheerio – bad things could happen if the Cheerio didn't end up liking the tutor. "Um... excuse me?" he called out, and then Blaine Anderson's head turned and Kurt's breath got caught in his chest, because Blaine Anderson was beautiful.

Blaine blinked, his jaw dropping just a bit. He then shook his head and twisted around in his seat. "Oh, uh, is this your seat? I can move; I didn't think that any Cheerios were in this class."

He was already moving to stand up when Kurt held up his hand. "No, no, I'm not in this class during this hour, don't worry," he said with a small smile on his face. "I'm actually here because my teacher recommended you as a tutor for this class."

Blaine blinked, his body still halfway crouched with getting out of his chair. He slumped back down, still staring at Kurt. "Really?"

Kurt nodded, moving to sit down in the desk next to Blaine's. "Yeah, the practices for Cheerios really take up all of my time, and I'm finding it hard to memorize a lot of the material for this class – I figured the best would be to find someone who was confident in what we're learning to help me memorize it better. Would you... be willing to take the job?"

Blaine nodded quickly. "Yes, I'd be willing to help you out."

Kurt let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you so much. So um..." he stood up, puling his cell phone out as he did so. "Can I have your number?"

Blaine grinned at him, and Kurt felt his breath catch in his chest for the second time since he met Blaine. "Sure, of course."

They'd exchanged numbers and planned out a time when they could meet to study together, and then went on their ways until the scheduled date.

Two days later, after a rather long practice that left Kurt's legs tired and him wanting nothing more than to go home and sleep, he found himself heading to the city library, to meet up with Blaine for their first tutoring session. He stumbled into the library and over to the table where Blaine was sitting, and then slumped down in his chair. "I'm sorry about how I look," he said, running a hand through his hair and taking his arm band off. "Coach Sylvester called an emergency practice this morning, and it ran later than I'd thought. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting at all."

Blaine shook his head. "No worries, I was just reading while I waited," he said as he held up The Hobbit.

"Oh, I like that series," Kurt said as he dug into his bag to pull out his notebook and text book.

Blaine nodded, a small smile on his face. "The series is great, but I hold a higher love for The Hobbit more than the other three."

Kurt grinned at him, and then they got down to work.

It was five study sessions later when Blaine pulled out his mp3 player and a few mini speakers. Kurt gave him a look, before glancing around at everyone else in the library. "Blaine, what are you doing with those?"

Blaine held up a hand, plugging in the speakers to the wall and then his mp3 player. "Giving us a little music," he said as he turned the device on. "Don't worry," he stated when Kurt opened his mouth to protest. "I'll make sure that it's down really low so we're the only ones who can hear it."

True to his word, Blaine had made sure that the music was so low they were the only two that could hear the music. "Does it help you concentrate"

Blaine nodded, moving a little bit closer to Kurt so he could point something out in the text book. "A little; it's nice to have something to listen to other than your own mind reading over the words in the text, huh?"

And it did help in a way, Kurt realized as they continued to study together, Blaine pointing out things that Kurt had completely skipped over or didn't understand in his initial readings. The listening to music when they met up for tutoring sessions became a normal, and with every single session, Kurt found himself growing closer to Blaine, telling him things that he'd never told anyone.

"I was terrified to come out to my dad," he found himself telling Blaine one day.

"Once, before I joined the Cheerios, I thought about switching schools," he said on a different day.

"I know that some people have spread rumors that I'm no longer a virgin, but I still am," he'd told him on a day where he'd been so tired that he'd fallen asleep with his head on Blaine's shoulder.

"You're my best friend," he'd said not too long ago.

It was actually true, he realized as he headed to lunch, eating an apple slowly as he made his way to the Cheerio table. Kurt had people he talked to during school, people he sometimes met with to see a movie, but he never had anyone that he could really talk to. The people in his school didn't seem real enough to him.

"Pink Cheeks," the captain of the Cheerios called out, one Santana Lopez, and Kurt turned to see her walking towards him, her pinky linked with Brittany S. Pearce's.

"Yes? Did you need something?"

Santana stopped in front of him, her eyebrows raised. "I've been hearing that you've been spending an awful lot of time with that Anderson kid."

Kurt nodded. "Yes, he's tutoring me in Biology, why?"

Santana took an interest in her nails. "You do realize that you've missed two practices, right?"

All of the blood fell from Kurt's face, and he almost dropped his tray of food. "I what?"

"Have you not been checking the notice boards after school? Because they've been there. I guess you've been too busy with your little tutor."

Kurt bit his lip, because he hadn't been checking the notice board after school; he and Blaine had upped their study dates, meeting more and more after school and -

"I'm so stupid," he muttered, hanging his head.

"No one's doubting that," Santana said as she slapped his shoulder. "Coach wants to see you after school."

Oh god...

"Hey, Kurt, are we still on for after school today?"

Kurt let out a sigh, and then leaned against the locker Blaine was pulling books out of. "I'm afraid that I'm going to have to cancel today."

Blaine paused in pulling the rest of his need books out. "Oh? Is something wrong? I thought that since you didn't have Cheerios practice today that..."

"I missed two Cheerios practices last week, and now Coach Sylvester wants me to meet with her after class."

Blaine bit his lip. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was it something that I did?"

Kurt blinked and stood up straight, looking Blaine in the eye. "No, not really. I just... Do you remember when I told you that..." He drew off, though, then bit his lip. "No, Blaine. You didn't do anything. I'm going to go and see what Coach has to say, okay? I'll call you later."

Blaine nodded, and on an impulse, Kurt leaned forward and pulled Blaine into a hug. Blaine inhaled sharply, but then he wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist. "I'll talk to you later on tonight then. Maybe we can do a phone study date or something."

Kurt found himself grinning into the hug, not wanting to let Blaine go, because he smelled really good and hugging him, being this close to him felt so right that Kurt wanted nothing more then to just stay there forever, wrapped up in everything Blaine.

"Uh," he said though, pulling away because his brain was going haywhire. "I should go now, but yes. We can do a phone date. I still want to go over those allele notes you gave me."

Blaine grinned, and Kurt was suddenly struck with an urge to lean over and kiss him. "I'd normally call you, but how about you just call me whenever you're ready. I'll be up until eleven tonight anyway."

"Okay, then I'll call you at ten fifty?" He teased as he turned to move away.

"I'll wait with baited breath," Blaine called after him, and Kurt ducked his head as one of the largest smiles he'd ever had appeared on his face, his hands gripping his book bag strap as he walked down the hall.

Blaine really was the only person who'd ever made him feel as good as he did.

"Porcelain!"

His head jerking up and the smile falling from his lips, he spotted his coach standing at the end of the hall, a straight look on her face. He sped up, taking deep, even breaths to calm himself down. "Y-yes, Coach?"

She nodded her head towards Blaine's locker, where Blaine was grabbing a few books from his locker and placing them in his bag. "My little spies around the school have informed me that you've been spending a rather large amount of time with Short Stack over there. Mind telling me what's going on and why being with him is more important than my Cheerios practices?"

Kurt exhaled. "He's my tutor for my Biology class – my grades had been slipping, and I need to keep my GPA up so that I can stay on the Cheerios, so I needed someone to help me learn and memorize what we were getting taught in class."

Coach Sylvester frowned. "By the look on your face I can see that he means more to you than just a tutor."

Kurt's shoulders curled in on himself as he glanced back over his shoulder back at Blaine. Blaine looked up and caught his eyes, then gave him a grin and a wave. Kurt's heart started pounding again. "Uh... W-well he's my best friend, and - "

"I don't care if he's secretly the man who lives in your basement and sows all of your clothes; you miss another Cheerios practice because of him, you're out." His coach said before she turned and left Kurt standing there, feeling conflicted and entirely confused.

He forgot to call Blaine that night.

"Kurt?"

Kurt inhaled sharply, then turned around to see Blaine standing there, his eyes worried but his jaw set. Kurt instantly felt ashamed of himself; he'd been avoiding Blaine for a while, the threat of being kicked off the Cheerios too high on his mind for him to think of anything else. All he knew was that if he was around Blaine, then he'd want to spend time with him. He'd want to laugh with him, sing stupid songs from Blaine's mp3 player with him, hug him, hold his hands...

He'd want to kiss him.

But Kurt couldn't do that, because he loved being on the Cheerios; he loved the routines, the dances, the songs, and it wasn't like Blaine really liked him anyway.

"Yeah, Blaine?"

Blaine exhaled, glancing down at the ground before clearing his throat and leveling his gaze with Kurt's. "I don't know if I did something wrong, or... I don't even know, but I'm assuming that you ignoring me means that our friendship is over, right?"

A pain began in Kurt's chest, and he really wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out.

Blaine continued. "I get that you care about me, Kurt. You just care about yourself and your reputation more and I... I can't deal with that." He cleared his throat again, and then he gave Kurt a smile – an incredibly sad smile. "I hope that the rest of your year goes well, Kurt, and I hope that biology doesn't give you any more issues."

And then he turned and began to walk down the hall in the opposite direction of Kurt, his back stiff and his head held high. Kurt let out a shaky breath and a small whine, because no. He'd wanted to stay friends with Blaine but... Maybe being on the Cheerios and keeping Blaine close to him wasn't possible. I... But I...

He stumbled into the nearest empty classroom, then sat down at a desk and thought through everything. Kurt had planned on using his being on the Cheerios to get into the school he wanted – NYADA. He still had one more year to go, but he needed all three years to make a good impression. He didn't really have anything else amazing he could put on his application, so he needed the Cheerios.

But Blaine... Blaine had come out of nowhere and had hit him like a freight train. Blaine made him laugh, smile, he made his heart soar – honestly, Blaine was the first thing to ever make Kurt feel truly happy. Blaine truly was his best friend and now...

Now he doesn't want to associate with me anymore, I guess...At least I still have the Cheerios...

And he did still have the Cheerios, but a few weeks after he and Blaine's friendship failed, the Cheerios wasn't enjoyable suddenly. The dance routines seemed to lack the energy, he was having trouble memorizing the steps, and his voice wasn't really hitting the notes like they usually did. Because Kurt couldn't keep his mind off of Blaine. Everywhere Kurt went, he either saw Blaine or something that reminded him of Blaine. Whenever he passed by a store that had bowties, he'd think of all of the bowties that Blaine owned, the ones that Blaine had shown him that one time Kurt had gone over to Blaine's house for a study session that turned out to be them singing their hearts out to Mumford & Sons and Roxy music.

A few of Kurt's own sweaters made him think of the soft sweater Blaine had been wearing when Kurt had fallen asleep on Blaine's shoulder studying, the soft music playing from Blaine's mp3 player soothing him until his eyelids were so heavy he couldn't keep them open. The one song from Roxy music that Blaine had finally been given permission to put on Kurt's iPod seemed to show up more than any other songs when it was on shuffle; Kurt would often listen to it on repeat at night when he was feeling exceptionally lonely.

And when he did see Blaine in the halls, Kurt had to fight the urge to run to him and hug him and be his friend again.

"It sounds like you're in love," his step-mother, Carole, told him over dinner one night; it'd been just the two of them, his dad working late and his step-brother, Finn, over at his girlfriend's house.

"Really?"

She'd nodded. "Yeah, it actually does. The question is," she'd stated, giving him a hard stare. "Is this Blaine Anderson worth it?"

The answer had never been more clear.

It had been Santana who'd found him, sitting in an empty classroom, sans his Cheerios uniform. He'd been sitting there for over an hour, school having already ended, deep in thought. He'd taken Carole's words to heart, had really thought about what she'd said over a few days, and then realized that what she'd said was right:

He was in love with Blaine.

He was deeply, completely, head over heels in love with Blaine.

But Blaine still wasn't talking to him.

Kurt had tried to catch him in the hall before he'd left, but Blaine had dodged him with a shake of his head before leaving the school property. Kurt was literally at a lose for what to do.

"You're not in your Cheerios uniform, I see," Santana said as she walked into the room and sat down in front of him.

"Yeah, well... I'm probably going to get kicked off the squad anyway. And Blaine's still not talking to me."

Santana eyed him quietly for a while, then let out a sigh. "I know that you want him, Kurt. Anyone can see that with him not in your life you're miserable."

Kurt let out a sigh. "I feel so stupid. I was going to ask him out."

"Today? Is that why you seemed to be scanning every single hall you were in for a sign of a small gelled haired boy?"

Kurt nodded, then hung his head. "I just... Santana - "

"Holy crap, you're in love with him!" She said, placing her hands on the table as she moved a little closer to him. When all he did was look more miserable, she let out a sigh. "Well... I may not understand why you chose him, given he's the dorkiest kid in school, but if you really want to date him? I have an idea..."

And Kurt nodded, his fingers up to his mouth, because even when Santana was being a bitch, her ideas usually worked out wonderfully.

Kurt was officially off of the Cheerios two days later, having missed more than five practices in the last week, his mind full of what Santana had told him to do to at least get back into Blaine's good books and be friends with him again. If a romantic relationship came with it, well then who was Kurt to say no to that?

The surprising thing was that Kurt didn't really care about not being on the Cheerios; he had come to terms that he was in love, and nothing could bring him down from that high. Not the first time he got slushied by David Karofsky and his gang, not singing lead for the Cheerios – nothing.

Nothing except not being with Blaine.

"So what you're going to do," Santana had told him. "Is you're going to find one of the cutest little love songs ever, and you're going to sing it to him, like they do in that Glee club he's in."

Kurt had bit his lip, thinking it over. "You really think it'll work?"

She'd nodded. "Of course! Sources have told me that one Blair Anderson is completely in love with you, as well as miserable as you are."

"His name is Blaine."

"Whatever."

And now, Blaine had been lured to the park under pretense of meeting with his duet partner (who happened to be Finn's girlfriend, which really helped out Kurt's plan), and was currently sitting on a swing set, looking around for Rachel. Gathering up his courage, Kurt strode forward, his head held high, and then fell into the swing next to Blaine.

"Hello," he said happily.

Blaine's head shot up and he turned in his swing to Kurt, who turned his head slightly and gave him a warm smile. "Uh... hi, Kurt. What - "

"I'm off of the Cheerios."

Blaine blinked, and then he lowered his head slightly. "Oh. I-I mean, I'd seen you around the school without the uniform, but I didn't want to assume anything."

"It wasn't what I wanted," Kurt said, using his left foot to push himself on the swing a little bit. "I met someone who I ended up really liking who helped me sort of realize that being in the Cheerios wasn't all that amazing. Because even though I'd been involved in it for almost two full years, there was something that it wasn't giving me."

Blaine let out a gulp. "And what was that?"

"A real friend," he said, reaching over to take Blaine's hand.

Blaine gulped again.

With a smile, Kurt stood up from the swing and stood in front of Blaine, still holding his hand. "I'm going to do something that's sort of cliché and that I totally stole from your Glee club, okay?"

"And what's that?"

"I'm going to sing to you my feelings."

"Oh no..."

Kurt grinned. "Oh, yes."

He'd picked out the song by himself, listening to the playlist that Blaine had made for him, telling Kurt that, "Some of these songs make me think of you." Because the song he planned on singing to Blaine really helped spell out his feelings. He just hoped Blaine got it.

"Are you prepared, Anderson?"

"I sure hope so."

"If we were children I would bake you a mud pie

Warm and brown beneath the sun

Never learned to climb a tree but I would try Just to show you what I'd done

Oh what I wouldn't do If I had you, babe, I had you

Oh what I wouldn't do If I had you, babe."

It was a cute little song, and Kurt spent the entire time singing it holding Blaine's hands, Blaine still seated on the swing, staring at Kurt with intense eyes. Kurt kept on singing, nothing in Blaine's body movement or behavior telling him to stop.

"So lace your hands around the small of my back, and I will kiss you - "

And then Blaine was suddenly moving, standing up with his hands leaving Kurt's, and for a moment Kurt didn't know what to do, because if Blaine was rejecting him -

But then Blaine's hands were sliding around him, falling into place on the small of Kurt's back, and he was leaning in close to him. Oh, Kurt thought as Blaine got close enough to press their lips together. Okay then. This works too.

Blaine's lips were slightly chapped and rough from being out in the cold air for a while, but all Kurt could focus on was the fact that Blaine's lips were touching his, that Blaine was kissing him. With a small hum, Kurt pulled away from the kiss, noticing that his hands had come up to wrap around Blaine's shoulders and play with the curls that had come lose from the curls. "Okay," he said, and then he let out a laugh and ducked his head. "Um... I liked that. I liked that a lot."

Blaine grinned, his eyes never leaving Kurt's. "So, uh... What were you going to say after you finished singing that song to me? Before I let my emotions run away and kissed you?"

Kurt tilted his head to the left, trying to not laugh again when Blaine's head followed with his. "I was going to apologize profusely for how I treated you over the past month; I never wanted to stop being your friend, Blaine."

Blaine let out a sigh and rested his forehead against Kurt's. "I didn't either, but I heard some people saying threatening things about you, and a few people told me to stay away from you and - "

Kurt pulled back, ignoring Blaine's call of, "wait, no, come back."

"How come you didn't tell me anything?"

Blaine shook his head, and then held out his arms for Kurt again. "Please?" he asked, and then his smile returned when Kurt did move back into the hug. "I just figured that since we weren't that close that you wouldn't really miss me. I was being stupid."

Kurt fought the urge to hit him. Instead, he kissed him. "Too right you were being stupid. I told you that you were my best friend, Blaine."

"I know, I know, but you'd been really tired that day, and I didn't know if you were telling the truth or..."

"I don't like lying," he said, and then he leaned forward against Blaine, moving his arms around his shoulders again. "So, does this mean we're dating now? Because I'd really like it if we were."

"I think that I would too," Blaine said as he twirled them around. "Boyfriend?" he asked as he raised one of his ridiculous triangular eyebrows.

Kurt answered him with a kiss, pressing their lips together as he smiled into it. "Boyfriends."

He'd tell Blaine later that he was in love with him. He'd later find out that Blaine was a cuddle bug, and that Blaine liked to be the big spoon; he'd learn that Blaine wasn't a fan of being tickled and where all of Blaine's ticklish spots were; he'd learn how to cook his favorite soup when Blaine get's the flu and what sick movies he preferred.

But for now, he'd smile at his new boyfriend before kissing him again; he'd hold his hand as Blaine took them back to the swings, and he'd hold a childish race with him to see who could swing the highest the fastest, smiling the biggest he'd ever smiled, and being the happiest he'd ever been.

(he'd win that race, too)

Author's notes:I'd wanted to do a cheerio!Kurt fic for a while, but I really know what to write, and then I saw a gifset on tumblr and BOOM - IDEA!

Well, I hope that you guys enjoyed it, and if you'd let me know what you thought via review or a message on my tumblr (universaloverlordess . tumblr . com) that'd be amazing!

Love you all,