Snake's Nightmare
i dont own metal gear, sesame street, buzz lightyear, clay akin, desperate housewives, the shining, the matrix, napoleon dynamite, jaws or the ring
(snake gets ready to sleep, by brushing his teeth with his sesame street toothbrush and bubble gum flavored tooth paste, and puts on his buzz lightyear pajamas,and gets into bed. once he fell asleep he was now dreaming he was in an office building, and saw meryl)
snake: meryl! Thank god you are alright
meryl: you are a pansy with your dental care items and pajamas
snake: but...but... SESAME STREET AND BUZZ LIGHTYEAR ARE GANGSTA!
meryl: you dont deserve a beautiful woman like me
(suddenly meryl turned into raiden)
snake: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY DREAM RAIDEN?
raiden: hi snakey-wakey, give me a LOVE-FILLED, KISS, CAUSE I LUUUUUUV U!
snake:GET AWAY FROM ME BUTT NUGGET
(raiden tries to dive after him and give him a kiss but snake punches raiden and runs away, which starts a huge chase sequence. 10 min. later, snake loses the sight of raiden until two clones of raiden in a girls dress dress with pig-tails appear)
raiden clones: come play with us snakey-wakey. we can listen to clay akin, and watch desperate housewives TOGETHER!
snake: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(snake tries shooting them with rpgs and pistols, but they seem to be invincible so they chase snake into a court yard filled with raiden clones dressed in suits)
raiden clones: you must join us
(ocelot comes and a raiden clone morphes ocelot into a raiden clone by sticking his hand up his butt)
raiden clones: WE LOVE YOU SNAKEY-WAKEY
(snake fights all of the clones with a staff he found on the floor and starts winning until all the raiden clones dog-piled snake)
raiden clone: we will make you one of us snakey-wakey
snake: get your hands off my butt
(then snake breaks free of the raidens, and runs away from the clones. the next thing he knows, he ends up on his sofa watching napoleon dynamite. then something strange happens. then he gets a phone call)
snake: hello
raiden: I WILL KISS YOU IN 7 MINUTES
(snake hangs up the phone and resumes watching napoleon dynamite)
(in the movie)
kid: what are you gonna do today napoleon
(then on the t.v, napoleon turns into raiden)
raiden: IM GONNA KISS SNAKEY-WAKEY, GOSH
(then raiden comes out of the t.v. to attempt to kiss snake, and chases him into a basement with a conviniently placed well)
raiden: come to me LOVER
(snake trips raiden into the well. then snake gets out his rpg)
snake: smile you son of a #!#$!#
(shoots all of the missles he can into the well and kills raiden ending his dream)
(the next day he is being breifed about his next mission)
col. campbell: you will be going to infiltate ocelots base
snake: who will be my partner? otacton, or mei-ling
col. campbell: no. your partner will be RAIDEN!
(raiden comes in the same room snake and col. campbell are in)
raiden: HI SNAKEY-WAKEY
snake: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!