Another Thought
C1: Dance of the Angel, Song of the Devil
[A/N: A rewrite of my FCU stories with a different way of meeting. A bit less sappiness and a bit more real-life-ism. Now that's a term I like. Enjoy, and Takeru/Hikari fans, get out. ^_^!]
[Disclaimer: TOEI, Akiyoshi Hongo, and whoever else own 'Digimon Adventure and Digimon Adventure 02'. Songs I use are property of whoever writes them (i.e.: Drowning Pool, Staind, Finger Eleven, Linkin Park, Metallica, and whatever others I use). I own what I create, but not what I borrow.]
"Oniisan, please tell me why I have to go to Shinjuku." Yagami Hikari questioned as her brother drove the car away from Tokyo.
"Koushiro-chan wanted me to show you the place he works at." Yagami Taichi smiled broadly, "He said you'd like it."
"I have a sneaky suspicion you're just trying to sell me to the red light district." Hikari remarked rather cynically.
"I'm not saying we aren't going there." Taichi grinned, and before his sister could respond, he jerked the steering wheel around, throwing the car careening across the empty road.
"Please, please tell me we aren't…" Hikari turned a very vivid shade of blue as her brother parked in front of a dumpy little place that looked ready to collapse.
"C'mon." Taichi opened her door and tugged her out, dragging her towards the wretched little place. There didn't seem to be a door, and Taichi walked straight through the doorframe, pulling Hikari along.
The shock of music playing slammed into Hikari and she could barely breath.
A muted, "Tai-koi!" came from somewhere to her left and she looked. Koushiro had leapt onto Taichi from a shadow, letting a door that wasn't there three seconds ago fall back into place.
"Taichi, where are we supposed to go?!" she yelled as loudly as she could.
Taichi took no notice of the almost unheard shout and started to walk straight forwards, soon disappearing in the inky blackness straight ahead. Hikari turned and looked for the door, unable to find anything that looked remotely like one.
With no way out, she followed her brother's footsteps straight forwards, suddenly taking a step down on a stairway. Dim, soft light flowed from little holes near the high, curved ceiling, easy on the eyes but strong enough to light the way.
Oniisan brought me to a nightclub and I'm only seventeen. I'm going to kill him if I ever find him.
She stopped going down stairs and found herself barely able to move in a veritable sea of people, music blaring and bodies moving to the beat.
It was a dance mix that was playing, fast and hard, quickening the pulse and leaving one with a sense of energy and weariness at the same time. Hikari stopped herself from moving, hoping to find Taichi and Koushiro before she was either grabbed, or knocked over.
She struggled through to a space somewhat free of people, populated by tables, smokers, and lovers. Only the gods knew what they were doing, and Hikari doubted even they wanted to know. She dropped down into a chair, taking a few deep breaths, and trying to think up ways to look for her brother.
"Yoshi!" a particularly familiar voice shouted from behind her, "Now here's a real treat for all you regular dancers out there!"
The music had quieted to a low humming sound and the dancers turned to look towards a stage Hikari hadn't noticed before.
"Lemme hear you scream! That's right, it's the devil herself come straight from hell to seduce your souls and bring you ever closer to sin!"
Koushiro is saying that? Hikari thought with an uncomfortable fidget as the crowd behind her began to scream and cheer for this supposed oni.
"LET THE BODIES DROP! COME AND LET YOUR SOUL BE CONSUMED!"
Koushiro's voice vanished from the stage as the humming continued.
An almost silent whispering chant of "Let the bodies hit the floor" began, and Hikari immediately wanted to get up and run. She grew even more frightened when Taichi appeared on a stage, limp and bloody in someone's arms. Someone screamed the word 'floor'. Hikari screamed herself as her brother was thrown into the now dancing crowd.
Something had been holding Taichi—a person. Hikari felt a certain amount of rage as a dim light flickered on a singer on the stage. It was a tall person that was wearing skin-tight black clothing with pale skin. Strange leather gloves adorned their hands, the fingers cut off the index, ring, and little fingers.
The person suddenly vanished and a loud bang and a jolt shocked Hikari out of her staring. Two midnight blue eyes stared down at her as she stared back, scared out of her mind.
"Nothing wrong with me," reached her ears as the person crouched low and stared her in the eye, never blinking, and smiling eerily.
Just as suddenly as before, the person leapt back from the table to the stage, leaving Hikari with the strangest revelation. The singer was a woman.
The song ended with the woman screaming "hey", and Hikari lay her head on the table. Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she was greeted with the sight of Taichi smiling at her.
"So how did you like it?" Taichi asked, "Koushiro needed me for the part, and I wanted you to see."
"Kisama!" Hikari slammed her fist into Taichi's stomach, "Why did you have to scare me like that?"
"That was the point." Taichi laughed at the weak punch, "C'mon, you'll like the next song. It's more of a song for you." He turned and jogged into the dancing mass, leaving Hikari alone again.
A new song began, and the woman up on the stage began to sing again.
Why are you doing this to me?
Am I not living up to what I am supposed to be?
Why am I seething with this animosity?
I think you owe me a great big apology…
TERRIBLE LIE!
It was obviously a song from America. Hikari had never heard so much music about hatred and anger in her life.
Don't take it away from me…I need something to hold onto.And all the while, Hikari grew more and more curious. That woman seemed unbelievably familiar. She didn't know why, but she could have sworn…
A drink was thrust under her nose. It fizzled quite like soda, and looked carbonated. The man that had given her it looked no older than her, and was smiling at her.
"Arigato." she murmured, "I was getting thirsty." She sipped at the drink and turned back to the woman. The song was starting to wind down, meaning another song was coming soon.
Her vision blurred for a moment and she took another sip of the soda to calm her jittery nerves. Her vision blurred again, worse than before.
Nande kuso… she thought as her head tipped forwards and fell to the table.
I've been drugged. I've been drugged and kidnapped.
Those were the very first words that popped into Hikari's mind as she awoke from her unconsciousness.
"You were lucky I saw what happened, indeed you were."
The seventeen-year-old shot into a sitting position, looking around frantically. The woman from before, the singer, sat at her side with a much softer, gentler smile than before. She was dressed now in a loose pair of black jeans and gray-silver pullover shirt.
"What happened?" Hikari questioned.
"He put in a few sleeping pills that kept you out for at least a half an hour." the woman replied, "He could have killed you, he could have." Hikari felt a subtle twinge.
"What happened then?"
"He was trying to take you away. I broke the glass you had and stopped him, I did. He will never be here again, I assure you."
"How did you break it?"
The woman reached behind her back and flashed an impressive dagger—quite a bit like a throwing knife—at her.
"He should have realized that he should never break my rules, he should have." she smiled, "No drugs on the main floor and no drugging."
"Main floor?" Hikari asked.
"There are many layers of hell, yes." the woman still smiled, "So there are many layers here."
"Now you're just scaring me." Hikari murmured, "Do you know where my brother is?"
"Is Taichi your brother?" she asked, "Let me see your eyes."
Hikari paused, only thinking that her red eyes would connect her to Koushiro.
"Ah yes." the woman grinned, "I remember you from nine years ago."
"What?" Hikari inquired, "Who are you, exactly?"
The woman stood from the chair she sat at and bowed, saying, "Shazaki Shinji, owner and operator of the dojo in Tokyo, as well as Strangeland, I am."
"Shazaki…Shinji." Hikari tried to think back nine years, "A dojo…oh! Okaasan brought me into your dojo nine years ago to tell you that Taichi wouldn't be coming to any more of your lessons."
"A sharp memory you have." Shinji smirked, "But I'm afraid to tell you that Taichi has left already with Koushiro. And you have no keys on you, do you."
Hikari shook her head—Taichi had sworn to take her home.
"Do not be mad at him." Shinji continued to smile, "He asked if I could take you home and I agreed. I thought you had a set of keys, but unfortunately I was wrong. If anything, you should be mad at me, you should."
"I should be mad at you!" Hikari swung her legs from the couch, "You and this damn club! I don't know how Taichi talked me into this! And another thing—"
"You look exceptionally pretty when you are angry, you do."
Hikari froze in mid-rant. The taller woman continued to smile, her shaggy brown hair hanging in front of contently closed eyes.
"What'd you say?" the seventeen-year-old inquired.
"You are pretty, beautiful even." Shinji replied, "But when your emotions are showing, like when you are angry, you open your soul, and you show your complete beauty."
Hikari felt herself blush in pride, contentedness, and shame all at the same time. No one had ever called her beautiful—besides her mother—before, and the expressions this woman used to describe everything were incredible.
And the entire complement shocked her. No other woman complemented another on simple beauty without makeup or anything. They always complemented on the outfits, the glamour, never the person themselves.
"If I offended you, I am sorry." the singer chuckled slightly, "I meant nothing, if you want it to mean nothing. Do you want me to take you to a place that is a little less…intimidating?"
Hikari tried to sort through what she had said, and then nodded slowly.
"I will close the club, I will." Shinji placed her hands together as if summoning the gods, "If you would like to rest a little more, go right ahead."
She turned and walked out of a door, leaving Hikari to ponder.
What on earth is she trying to say? Does she…like me?
A loud crash brought her to her feet in shock. She carefully opened the door and snuck out, looking for the same place she had been before.
"It's not even one o'clock!" a shout drew her to the right place, "Come on!"
"It is a holiday then." Shinji stood defiantly before the crowd, "You need to leave now."
"Why?" a small group of five were protesting, the rest were filing away quietly, muttering amongst themselves about the awesome music played and the wild little thing with that girl from before.
"No one is left to tend." Shinji spoke in a cold, hard voice, "Those are my rules."
"Yeah, well they suck!" one of the men shouted, "If you want us out, then make us leave."
"You do not want me to do that." Shinji said softly in the same cold voice.
"Yeah, she'd just go cryin' home to mommy!" the men laughed loudly.
The man that had said that was suddenly lifted off his feet. Shinji had him by the collar very calmly, staring at him with a strange smirk.
"You and your friends are banned from returning here." she murmured, "Sorry, but I do not appreciate the late ones being mocked. Go on and leave now, before I contact the police."
She dropped the man, who stared at her, shaking. The men all ran, frightened. Hikari stared for a moment, just hiding behind the door and watching.
"Come out. I know you watched that, I do."
The seventeen-year-old jerked slightly and pushed the door open the rest of the way, walking into the room.
"Where would you like me to take you?" she questioned, "You do not want to wake your parents, do you?"
"No, but I don't want to wake anybody up at this ungodly hour." Hikari stood with her arms crossed, looking away, "Do you know anywhere I could stay?"
"I offer you my home, I do." the elder woman said in a soft voice, "But I must tell you that you need to hold tight to me."
Hikari was soon clutching the elder woman extremely tight around the waist as Shinji sped down the now-deserted street.
I hate motorcycles! Hikari now shouted in her mind as she kept her eyes clenched shut, I hate them!
The strange sensation of riding a motorcycle ended after a few more minutes and Shinji had to literally pry Hikari off. After she had managed to stop shaking, Hikari noticed that they had stopped in front of a large stairway that seemed more like it should have been to a shrine.
"You're a miko too?" she raised a skeptical brow at Shinji.
"Not at all. Just a weird little thing the people that built this house did. It used to belong to my okaasan. When she was alive."
Hikari suddenly felt a twinge go off deep inside her. It was now no wonder why Shinji had struck that man before when he mocked her mother.
"Gomen." Hikari murmured, "I didn't know."
"It is all right." Shinji smiled weakly, lines beneath her closed eyes abruptly obvious, "It happened about ten years ago, it did. It was mentioned in the papers, but a little seven-year-old would not have heard of it."
Hikari still felt a pang of guilt for some odd reason. She barely knew this woman, and yet she felt as if her mother had died as well.
"I have been alone for exactly ten years, I have." Shinji sighed, "I miss my otousan and okaasan, I do. But they are gone, and I must accept that."
Hikari felt an even stronger bolt of guilt strike her. Both parents. Dead. Left to live alone for ten years.
"You are tired, are you not?" Shinji had opened her eyes, "Come along. You may take my room for the remainder of the night, you can."
Hikari woke to the sound of gently strummed guitar strings. Somewhere, someone was playing the guitar and they were playing one of her favorite instrumental songs. Rakuen, the song of paradise. Hikari sat up from the futon and went to explore the strange house she was in for some reason.
As she wandered, the reasons behind her being at the house were recalled. A late night excursion and a sex-happy brother leaving her behind were the main causes. A certain, rather pretty older woman was the other reason.
Shinji was the one playing the song, her eyes shut and humming slightly. Hikari smiled in spite of herself and her wishes to go home. The older woman was an excellent player, and had a knack for playing special little variations in the song.
Hikari suddenly felt her eyes go wide as she spotted Shinji's wrists and hands. Barbed wire was strung around them, and there were unpleasant flecks of red all around them.
"SHINJI-SAN!" she yelled, launching herself across the room and tackling Shinji, groping at the wire, "What are you doing?! Why are you wearing barbed wire?!"
Hikari clawed at the wire, unconcerned for her own hands—and grabbed simply air and a little bit of skin. She had landed from the flying tackle in a most awkward position, sitting on Shinji's stomach with her wrists in her hands. Somehow, she would note later, Shinji had caught the guitar that flew out of her hands by one of her feet and had balanced it there for the many minutes they had talked.
"Why won't this come off?" Hikari said frantically to herself mostly, trying to grab the wire.
"Excuse me, Hikari-chan, but you are trying, most unsuccessfully, to rip off tattoos that I have." Shinji smiled suddenly, chuckling.
Hikari stopped for one moment, her hand around Shinji's forearm, and looked closely at the barbed wire around her wrists. It was no more than a complex design in the shape of barbed wire, with a strange circle of the same design on the back of her hands.
"Then what's that blood?" she demanded, feeling very foolish.
"Jam." Shinji said rather innocently, "I have jam on my toast every morning. I was in a rush to play this morning, and I was a sloppy eater, I was."
Hikari blushed as red as the jam on Shinji's hands. She had jumped to extreme conclusions, and was feeling very silly.
"Gomen." she murmured, "I should've guessed you wouldn't have tried to commit suicide. You're much too sensible for any stupid thing like that."
"Now I am." Shinji smiled weakly as she had the night before, "But that is a different tale. Arigato for your concern, Hikari-chan."
Hikari suddenly realized how odd her actions had been. Not many people would just up and tackle someone because they thought they were wearing barbed wire. It was strange, she noted as she felt a twinge in her heart.
"I assume you want to go home, do you not?" Shinji asked suddenly, startling Hikari out of her thoughts, "I can take you there."
"No, that would be…" Hikari tried to think of an excuse not to leave, but confused as why she tried, "I don't want to be rude."
"It is not rude." Shinji smirked sideways, "I offered."
"But it's really rude of me." Hikari protested, still confused, "I shouldn't."
Shinji looked at her with an odd stare, and Hikari felt a tingling sensation in her skin. It was as if her soul was being searched, an odd sensation.
"You are scared, you are." she murmured suddenly, "I will take you home now, I will."
She somehow managed to move the guitar from her foot to balance against the nearby wall and let Hikari move away from her.
"Hikari…" Shinji said in barely more than a whisper, "I…come along now."
Hikari watched as the black motorcycle and black-wearing rider vanished beyond the horizon, standing at the balcony of her apartment home back in the midst of Tokyo. An odd sensation of pain continued to shoot through her and her eyes threatened to water.
"Gomen, Hikari-chan." her mother sighed, "I never thought Taichi would leave you behind like that. But it was very kind of Shazaki-san to let you stay with her for the night."
"Okaasan, how did you tell otousan that you cared about him?" Hikari burst out, "I mean, how did you work up the courage to talk to him about how you felt?"
"Honey, do you want to talk about someone?" her mother raised a brow, "It's perfectly all right, no matter what."
Hikari turned red as blood, turning towards the skyline again. She knew what her mother was talking about. They had been very supportive of Taichi when he was beginning to date Koushiro.
"Okaasan, I'm not sure that I'm…like Taichi." she murmured softly, "I need to know if I am."
"Oh dear." her mother sighed, "You're questioning yourself."
"Okaasan!" Hikari snapped, "It's just that…I don't know."
"Hikari, all I can, and all I will say is that you have to decide for yourself in the matters of the heart. There's no way possible that I can decide your love. I want you to make that choice for yourself, so I can't point your life in the direction I may want it."
Hikari sat awake in her room that night, staring out at the full moon that cast its light down upon Japan and Tokyo. She sat on her bed, just staring out at the pale moon. It was pale as Shinji's skin…
Hikari sighed a little at herself. She was obsessing over the older woman—and she didn't even know the elder's age. Over twenty-one, to serve that sake, but it didn't seem much older than that.
I want to say I care—I love her. she thought silently, Why can't I?
"I love S…" she tested herself, whispering as softly as she could, "I. Love. Shi… Kuso!"
No matter how hard she tried to trick herself into saying it, no matter how hard she tried to flat out say it, just to herself, Hikari found she couldn't. For some ungodly reason, she couldn't say those three words. The curse of the heart, it seemed.
Finally, Hikari lay back and closed her eyes, envisioning her secret love in the darkness that came. She soon started to sleep, her subconscious losing itself to visions of the pale-skinned demon that she had fallen in love with.
"Ashiteru…Shinji." she whispered, unheard as she passed to sleep.
The park was a good place to sort out thoughts. Hikari was sitting there the next day after school had ended. She had lamented over her 'problem' for two days straight, almost not hearing her lessons at all due to thinking about what to do and say.
That was, if she ever managed to see Shinji again. Taichi had not been in contact out of either guilt of leaving Hikari to fend for herself, or because he simply was in bed with Koushiro.
Taichi was the only person Hikari knew that knew of the location of Shinji's club. The only person that knew of the club…
The club…
Hikari suddenly leapt to her feet, a look of firm resolution on her face. She knew of where to find Shinji during the day. She knew exactly where.
"Hai, I will be back soon. Do not worry, just take care of the—"
Hikari was standing in front of the dojo, panting from running from the park to there. Shinji stared at her with a wounded look, as if something was hurting her.
"I need…to talk to you." Hikari panted.
"What do you need to speak to me for?" Shinji wouldn't look at her, staring off into the trees as they sat in the park, "Do you wish to enroll in my classes?"
"Shazaki-san…" Hikari sighed, trying to keep her courage up, "Please, just listen for a moment."
"Hikari, I know what you speak of." Shinji replied, "Please, I beg you, I cannot even attempt to…"
But she said nothing more than that as Hikari leapt forwards, wrapping her arms firmly around her, half-shouting, "Ashiteru! Ashiteru, Shinji!"
There was silence, except for the occasional chirp of a bird. Shinji stood frozen, Hikari sobbing with relief at her confession.
"T-teiryuu!" Shinji shouted, struggling to get away, "Let me go!"
Hikari let go, her eyes widening in shock as Shinji ran away from her. It hurt worse than anything she had ever known. She simply wanted to curl up and let life leave her. Instead, she turned, and walked numbly home.
Hikari's mother watched as her daughter stumbled inside, her eyes wide with pain. She knew immediately what had happened—her daughter had been rejected after confessing her love.
She felt a stab of pain in her own heart, but did not try to comfort her daughter. Hikari wouldn't want her to try and meddle. She wouldn't want any contact for a long while.
Hikari walked into her room and sat down on her bed. She stared at the wall opposite to her, pain flooding every one of her senses. It just…hurt so badly. Hikari lay down on her side, still staring towards the wall, and then began to sob.
It just…hurt so much.
Taichi sighed as a knock at the apartment door drew him away from his dear Koushiro-kun and the warm bed. He wrapped a robe around himself and strode to the door, wondering who on earth would bother him at such a time.
He got the surprise of his life when his part-time boss appeared from behind the door, looking rather distressed.
Hikari paused in her sobbing as the gentle strumming of guitar strings reached her ears. Music was being played. Someone was playing it, and it wasn't a recording or a CD.
"Whoever you are, I swear that I'll call the police!" she groaned, her voice scratchy from sobbing.
"…I'll never find someone quite like you again…"
Hikari felt herself be filled with rage as she rounded a corner, recognizing the voice and seeing Shinji standing on the balcony, her back to her.
"You!" she hissed, "Get out before I call the police!"
"…the dying roses plead I don't leave you alone…" Shinji murmured rather suddenly, playing a few chords of an unknown song.
"Don't you dare try to persuade me with that damned guitar!" Hikari yelled, "That's how I got caught up with you in the first place!"
"…I'll never find someone quite like you again…"
"Teiryuu!" Hikari shouted again, striding to the elder woman and yelling at her.
"…I looked into your eyes and saw…a world I wish I was in…"
"TEIRYUU!"
Hikari grabbed Shinji's shoulder, spun her around, and her hand made a resounding slap as she struck the one she loved. Shinji simply stood there, her blue eyes bloodshot and tears streaming down her face.
"…I'll never love someone quite the way that I love you…" Shinji murmured the last line of the song, playing the notes gently, her eyes narrowed in pain and tears.
Hikari stood there, her teeth ground together and her hands balled at her sides. She knew, deep in her heart, that she loved Shinji with all her being, but…
"Gods, I hate you!" she yelled, tears coming to her eyes now, "You're a heartless, demonic bitch and I hate you!
"…but I love you too. I don't know why, but I do."
Shinji's hand reached out and paused just millimeters from Hikari. Finally, her hand reached around and placed itself against Hikari's back, moving her forwards and quickly trapping her in a one-armed embrace. There they stood for a long while, just silent.
"Hikari, I ran away from you yesterday because I was frightened. I have not let anyone touch me like this for ten years, not since my parents died. I was just…worried. I will leave now, I will."
Hikari jerked as Shinji's hand began to pull away from her, letting her go, and wrapped her arms around the elder woman in protest, looking up at her.
"Nakare." she murmured, "Please, nakare. Just stay with me, oorai?"
Shinji smiled, a very warm, perfect smile, and murmured, "…shimeta."
—owari—