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Paula stood in the offices at the Fox studios, looking out the window. "Straight up now tell me do you really wanna love me forever," she sang off- key. "Or am I caught in a-" She gasped as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Simon Fuller standing there.
"Quiet, missy. Bad singers are in this studio. You don't want to bring them down on us now, do you?"
"Mr. Fuller, that will do!" exclaimed Colton Melby.
"She was singing crappily," Fuller told him. "Bad luck to be singing crappily with all these crappy singers around. Mark my words."
"Consider them marked," said Colt. "On your way."
"Sure, Colt," replied Fuller. "It's bad luck to have a woman as a judge, too, even a 80s pop-singer/dancer/choreographer one."
"I think it would be rather exciting to meet a crappy singer," said Paula.
"Think again, Miss Abdul," Colt said. "Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them. I intend to see to it that any man who sings 'Like A Virgin' or 'Escape' gets what he deserves - a 'That just wasn't good, dawg' from Randy and a 'That was absolutely dreadful' from Simon."
"Mr. Melby, I appreciate your fervor," Nigel interrupted. "But I'm…I'm concerned about the effect this subject will have upon my employee."
"My apologies, Mr. Lythgoe," apologized Colt.
"Actually, I find it all fascinating," Paula said.
"Yes, that's what concerns me," replied Nigel, fearing that an American Idol judge interested in crappy singers would not do well for ratings.
Paula looked out the door and saw a man with a black T-shirt and jeans walking into the studio. "Look, a man! There's a man in the studio!" she cried.
"Man coming in!" shouted Fuller.
"Fetch a cigarette! Bring him inside!" yelled Colt. Simon walked through the doors. "He's still wearing black!"
"Mary, mother of God," said Fuller, looking out the window at a man with brown hair wearing a huge green sweater.
"Who's that?" asked Nigel.
"It's most likely some guy walking on the street," suggested Colt.
"Everyone's thinking it; I'm just saying it - crappy singers!" Fuller said.
"There's no proof of that," said Nigel. "He probably came here by accident."
"Rouse the producers immediately!" Colt shouted.
"Paula, I want you to accompany the man," Nigel said, pointing to Simon. "He'll be in your charge. Take care of him."
Paula walked over to Simon. "It's okay. My name is Paula Abdul."
"S-s-simon Cowell."
"I'm watching over you, Simon." She looked down at the necklace he was wearing. It was a circle with a star in the middle of it, with the words "When you wish upon a star, you might just become one" engraved. She gasped. It was a defective piece of Innergy! "You're a th-theif!"
Paula hid the necklace as Colt came up to her. "Has he said anything?"
"His name is Simon Cowell," replied Paula. "That's all I found out."
"Take him to the dressing room," ordered Colt, not realizing he didn't even work on the show.
Paula looked out the window, seeing the man in the green sweater. He was incredibly ugly. She blinked, to see if maybe she was imagining things, but she wasn't.