Disclaimer: I don't own anything……except any grammatical mistakes.
I know I'm supposed to be working on my other story but I wasn't in the mood. Sorry. I'ma update before Sunday. Read at your own risk.
Ch. 1: It won't matter
If she loves you, it won't matter.
Take her!
Take her!
Take her!
Take her now!
He heard Amber screaming for him to take Cuddy, at first he didn't understand what she meant. She was whispering in his ear: If she loves you it won't matter, she says she loves you.
Fuck her hard, don't take no for an answer.
If she loves you it won't matter if she meets the real you; the dangerous, selfish bastard who only cares about himself.
Those words were repeating over and over in his head, fixing him in a trance as he drove to Cuddy's house. Walking to her door his mind screamed at him to stop but his body kept moving. Maybe it was the vicodin, Amber taunting him, or the results of the deep brain stimulation last year along with his brain injury but he found himself knocking on her door.
House, I'm not in the mood for your games." She groaned. "I just put Rachel to sleep, I'm tired whatever it is we can discuss it tomorrow." She said shutting the door but was stopped due to House wedging his cane in.
"No, it can't wait" he said a little dazed. "I need to know if you love me."
"House, go home, I'm not in the mood." She said again trying to get him to leave.
"I need to know now!" he shouted as he paced back and forth in the living room.
"Come down, I just put Rachel to bed and I'm tired." She said pulling him to the couch to sit down.
"Now!" He grunted out as he sat down, trying to ignore Amber who was steadily chanting 'Take her'.
"I do, but I realized that it would never work. One day you do something incredibly sweet the next you're the biggest asshole around. I can't have that instability in my life, I have a wonderful daughter who relies on me to take care of her I can't not be there for her because I'm crying over you.
She loves you; take her, that's the only way you will ever know if she truly loves you. It won't matter if she does. Amber whispered in his ear.
As if in a trance he leaned forward and kissed Cuddy, who immediately rejected him, slapping his face.
Angered that she spurned his kiss and his inability to distinguish the lines between reality and hallucinations he kissed her with more force, grabbing her shoulders pushing her against the cushion of the couch kissing her.
"House, stop!" Cuddy said trying to stop him.
"No, you love me, it won't matter." He kept repeating.
"Please…"she begged, scared because of the wild look in House's eye and his odd chanting of it won't matter.
"I love you." He groaned getting aroused at her frantic bucking to get him off of her, as he positions his body over hers. Grasping her robe, he pulled it apart ignoring her screams to stop, using one hand to hold her hands above her head; he used the other one to unzip his pants.
Cuddy was in shock at the direction the way things were headed. House had her in a vulnerable position and was unzipping her pants.
"House No!" she screamed behind his hand as he put it over her mouth.
Positioning himself between her legs, he slowly pushed in as his last bit of sanity kept him for hurting her indeterminably, ignoring her moans to stop and the burning pain in his leg, as he slammed the last couple of inches in.
Pleading for him to stop, Cuddy tried in vain to push House off her.
House, trapped in his own mind, was unaware of the full extent of the pain he was inflicting upon Cuddy; the only thing that was clear in his mind was the need to reach fulfillment.
Thrusting repeatedly, he finally reached his peak; he collapsed on top her, releasing her wrists. Her whimpers and sobs finally penetrated his mind and the enormity of what he just did finally dawned on him.
"God, Cuddy, I'm so sorry." He pleaded with her. "Forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you." As he got up off of her.
Curling in a ball away from him, she began sobbing uncontrollably, unable to imagine why he would do something like this. He was her protector in college, now she needed protection from him. She couldn't quiet grasp the situation and the reason for it. One moment she was declaring her love and detailing the reasons for why a relationship would never work between them, the next she's fighting him off of her.
House was in shock over what he had done, how he could have done something so atrocious as to have hurt Cuddy, ignoring the pain in his leg he picked up Cuddy and limped to the bathroom, using the wall as support. Running water in the bathtub, he stripped off Cuddy's clothes and his and got in; holding her as she cried, he figured the only reason she allowed him this liberty was because she was still going through shock. Drying her off and apologizing profusely he settled her in bed, holding her trying to console her.
Amber reappeared and began mocking him. 'Obviously she doesn't love you. You're pathetic.' She taunted.
"Shut up." he shouted at her. Cuddy thought he was talking to her and flinched and huddled more in the covers.
"I'm so sorry Cuddy; there will never be anything I can do to fix this." He said as silent tears fell down his face, landing on her.
"House." She said as she wrapped him in her arms, both of them crying over what transpired that night. Drifting off to sleep, she was awaken later by the heat emitting from House, concerned she tried to wake him, at that moment he began to seized. Following her medical train she stabilized House as best as he could before calling 911. The doctors determined that he was having a side effect of the deep brain stimulation from last year. While being rushed into the ER, he kept apologizing to Cuddy, something that Wilson and Cameron was puzzled about. Throughout his stay the hallucinations got worse and Cuddy learnt a little bit about what drove House to do what he did. Concerned about his health they enrolled him in Mayfield Hospital.
Cuddy was in denial over what happened until her period fell to appear and she began experiencing morning sickness.
Thanks for reading. Please review. Pretty pretty please. I love reviews. Let me know whatcha think and if I should continue. Much love.