Hey folks. Here's another product of chronic insomnia for you. Takes place in 2004; post Caucasus, pre-BSAA formation.

All characters belong to Capcom (but you knew this already)!

Onward!

Chris Redfield wasn't used to being idle.

It's not that he was impatient – not entirely, anyway – but over the years he had grown accustomed to constantly being on the move, some sort of life or death situation looming over his shoulder. He hadn't always been like this: back in his days with S.T.A.R.S., before the horrors he had seen that fateful night out in the Arklay Mountains, he had actually been rather easy-going. All business when it came to his job, of course, but still capable of unwinding after a hard day's (or night's) work. However, years of squaring off against things that would psychologically scar even the most twisted of horror film directors left a lasting impression, to say the least.

Absently tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, Chris wondered how much longer he was going to have to sit and wait. He hadn't been parked long – maybe five minutes at the most – but being inactive in any capacity was damn near excruciating. Peering up at the small apartment building directly in front of him, he saw a light go out in a window on the topmost floor; within a few seconds his longtime friend and partner, Jill Valentine, appeared at the building's entrance clad in a retro-style dress with matching heels. Slung over her shoulder was a small messenger bag that clearly didn't go with the ensemble: Chris instinctively knew that somewhere between the keys, wallet, and lip balm sat lock picks, a thin hoodie, and a fully loaded Beretta 92F – for "emergencies."

Although his relationship with Jill was strictly platonic, Chris couldn't help but stare as she approached the car: In all the years they had known each other, he had never seen her dolled up for any circumstance whatsoever (though he once heard about an interesting corset-top and miniskirt combo). Tonight, however, was a special occasion: it was Jill's 30th birthday, and she had made up her mind almost the second the two were officially cleared for some much-needed time off to celebrate the milestone.

"After all we've seen and done, it's a miracle either of us have even made it this far," she had told him while she mapped out her plans. "Plus, it's a great reason to eat delicious cake..."

Awhile back Jill tried to persuade Chris to celebrate his own 30th birthday "retroactively" with her: the end of his twenties quietly slipped by while they were still overseas working to put an end to Umbrella. Predictably, he declined; he was more than satisfied with a haphazard serenade and a flight home. Besides, he had a job to do - and that job was to act as the designated driver.

"Hey, now," Chris grinned as Jill climbed into the passenger seat. He couldn't help but marvel at his colleague's apparent taste for pin-up couture.

Jill strapped on her seat belt, fully aware of her partner's unwavering gaze.

"You're freaking me out, Redfield."

"You're freaking me out, Valentine."

"Seriously," Jill's voice cracked; she made a noise that was somewhere between a snort and a giggle. "Stop it."

"You stop it," Chris smiled playfully as he turned around and grabbed a small gift bag from the backseat. "Happy birthday."

"Oh, Chris, you really didn't have to…" Jill trailed off as she took the sack. She quickly looked at Chris before opening a small card that was taped to the handles. A slow smile spread across her face as she read to herself.

"Aww... Love you, too, partner." Still smiling, Jill reached into the bag and pulled out her gift: a plain, midnight blue baseball cap that – unbeknownst to her – had been hastily purchased that afternoon.

"Wow, thanks!" Jill removed the small tag and immediately put the hat on, adding yet another out-of-place element to her attire. "I shall wear it, and love it, and call it 'George!'"

"Well," Chris shook his head and started the car. "'George' looks good on you. Ready to go?"

"Let's do this!"

* This was initially meant to be a very wordy one-shot, but breaking it into chapters made it easier to proof and edit.

* The title of this comes from a card that I once picked up for an acquaintance who was turning 30. It said something along the lines of "You're not 30! You're Triple X!"

* Math is hard: Chris is probably closer to 31 (if not there already) at this point. All of the vital stat materials out there put him around a year older than Jill, but it could be, like, a year and some change for all we know. *shrugs*

* An example of Jill's dress can be found at a little spot called . It's what's called a "Daisy" dress.

* "I shall wear it, and love it, and call it George," is a reference to the Abominable Snowman character who appears in Looney Toons shorts, which in turn is actually a reference to John Steinbeck's Of Mice And Men.

* I thought it would be cute if the baseball cap we see as part of Jill's BSAA uniform came from Chris.

* Sorry, ChrisxJill shippers – in my world the love these two share is of the non-romantic variety. (And, with that, I reckon I have officially lost you. Sad Panda.)

I hope you enjoyed this! Reviews and feedback are always welcome and appreciated! Cheers!