Dear Fred,
Today was just like any other. I methodically ran the shop, making sure to appear okay when Hermione, Mum, and Luna stopped by to "check in on me". Of course, they all didn't talk to each other; they each did it separately, out of concern for me... It's been six months since you died. Ron told me to suck it up, move on like he had to. Told me to stop wallowing. Harry takes a different approach. Every day, at precisely nine o'clock in the morning, he steps into the shop and gives me huge hug. This hug means more than the world to me right now, I wonder if he knows, or if he would be creeped out if I told him…
I'm sure you were just as surprised as I was when I heard Percy committed suicide. As sick as this may sound, it makes sense. He's been blaming himself for your death since the moment you were gone, May 2. My least favorite day of the year. He never came to terms with it.
Mum is cracking. Dad hasn't left his room in weeks, unless dragged out by Mum. Harry and Ginny split. Ginny is sleeping around now, and he caught her with Seamus, both drunks. Seamus apologized, and Harry forgave him easily, it was Ginny's fault. Ron and Hermione were never dating either… (you owe me five Galleons.) Bill can't look any of us in the eye. Ron has turned bitter and cold, Charlie moved to Bulgaria, even further away.
We should have never separated. We've only ever been hurt while we were apart. My ear, your death. I can't get over it- get over your absence, I keep trying, and I can't. I haven't looked in a mirror at all in six months. I can't see me at all, just you. Your voice, your laugh, your face, and your personality… it all comes rushing back. Mirrors are taboo to me now. I cast glamour charms on me to appear healthy and presentable. Angelina thinks I've gone insane because I still pause halfway through sentences, and turn to look for you to finish the sentence for me. I get a lot of fan mail, letters from supporters of the shop. They all miss you… I hear the voices, but not many, just yours. Every time I pick up my wand to end it all, I hear you call me a coward, and remind me of Mum. I haven't set foot in either of our bedrooms since the day of the battle. I don't know why, but I can't walk towards the door without crying.
Do you miss me? Because I wish you were here for me to hold again. After Angelina dumped you? Remember how much closer we grew that night? It's one of my favorite memories. It's in my pensieve. It was the first time we didn't water anything down for each other. We told each other everything. Who better to tell than your other half? But my other half is gone now… You're gone. You're never. Coming. Back.
And that's what hurts the most.
Fred? Why did this happen? But, as sick as THIS sounds, I'm glad I'm alive. If it was you in my place right now… I wouldn't be able to stay in heaven or in hell or contained anywhere...
~George
Letter 192
November 7, 1998
AN: Please, please no flames. I own nothing...