Dreaming Insanity
by Riosuu
Warning: This story may contain major lemony Yaoi (boy on boy action) and a lot of angst. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AND I DON'T WAN'T ANY FLAMES!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any merchandise pertaining to the copy written series which our Kami-sama, Masashi Kishimoto -sensei, created.
Chapter One: An Intrusion in Our Lives
"No!"
"Bwahahahahaha!"
"Damn it Kiba, shut up already!"
"If you didn't suck so bad I wouldn't be laughing my ass off, Naruto-chan."
"And stop it with the '-chan' already, its getting annoying!"
"But then again, you're no match up against a mighty shinobi as me."
"You sound more conceited then Sasuke-teme over there." Naruto pointed to his left, singling out a very amused Uchiha Sasuke.
"I'm not the one shouting at the top of my lungs that I'm going to beat everyone at a game of darts, now, am I dobe?" Sasuke said rather coolly.
"Sasuke you traitor!"
"Hahahahaha! Even your boyfriend's saying I'm better!"
Sasuke walked up to Naruto and wrapped his arm around the Kitsune's neck rubbing his cheek against the other's. "On the contrary, I'm sure Naruto here can best you in some aspects of life you've never even had the chance of experiencing." At this Naruto blushed heavily; his face resembling that of a tomato.
"Sasuke! You're worse than the perverted old hermit! You Letcher!"
"That's not what you said last night when you started screaming out—"
"Hey! I don't wanna hear this shit!" Kiba waved his arms about wildly while shaking his head, vigorously saying 'No!' Sasuke gave a 120 smirk of amusement.
"What a great show." Kakashi piped up, appearing out of nowhere grinning like a Cheshire-cat on laughing gas.
"Kakashi-sensei! Where'd you come from?" Naruto said in his bug-eyed state.
"Well Naruto, I thought you already knew this, but alas I shall take you through it." He sighed; taking out the last book of Come Come Paradise Naruto gave him five years ago.
"Eh?"
"You see, when a mommy loves a daddy there are certain—"
"No Kakashi-sensei! That's not what I meant and you know it." Naruto said through clenched teeth and with pink cheeks
Kakashi gave a curt laugh before continuing.
"Well I just came back from the Godaime's office."
"Really?! Tsunade-baba finally has a mission for us?"
"Yes. It will require you to form a special team though. It's an A-class mission involving dangerous foes."
"W-what kind of dangerous foes?" Naruto questioned.
There was a long pause before Kakashi finally answered.
"Bees."
"..."
The entire tavern, in which the game had been held, went dead silent at his words.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEEN BEES!?"
"HOW THE HELL ARE BEES DANGEROUS?!"
"DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKED OUT YOU MADE US?!"
Naruto and Kiba's verbal assault continued for so long no one could tell who was saying what. And Sasuke, he watched on enjoying the un-choreographed pounding on Kakashi's head.
"Wait a minuet! Hear me out!" Kakashi had been able to escape the escapade of the two K9-like boys before anything serious happened to his body or his book.
"Fine," Naruto piped, "but this better be damn important. I mean seriously, an A-class mission against bees."
"I swear it is." Kakashi's voice went from playful to serious in less than 0.4 seconds. "There was a recent discovery in Rock country concerning a certain race of honey bees inhabiting that area. I can't go into much detail, but the honey will be useful in Konoha."
"So when does the 'dangerous' part come in?"
"I'm getting to that." Kakashi grit out in an annoyed tone. "These bees seem to have special soldier bees that produce a poison. In small doses it doesn't do much but give you a bad rash; but there have been recent reports of missing-nin that use the poison in large amounts to dispel anyone from trying to get the honey."
"And what does a large amount do?" Sasuke questioned, a little worried about a certain blonde.
"Painful, if not instant, death."
Okay. Scratch that. On the verge of insane panic over Naruto!
"Naruto you can—"
"WOOHOO! Alright! It's been ages since my last A-class mission! This is gonna be so cool! I've never gone up against poison bees. If those ninjas were able to get that poison then they should be good!"
"Naruto, you shouldn't take this lightly," Kakashi sighed.
"Why's that Kakashi-sensei?"
"Even Hunter-nin have been killed in the recent months."
Sasuke had had enough of this. It had only been a few weeks since the "official" announcement concerning his and Naruto's relationship, (The "unofficial" one had happened when a peeping-Ino caught them in the act of cough, cough 'confirming their relationship' in the bath tub. She was actually there for her weekly dose of wet and naked Sasuke. Guess she got more than she bargained for . Alright, back to Sasuke pissed off.) and now Naruto was heading into a dangerous mission where HUNTER-NINS were killed. Yes, this would be good.
"Naruto, you can't go."
"And why is it that you can decide for me, Sasuke?" Naruto huffed. He obviously wasn't pleased at Sasuke barking orders concerning his life.
"Because it's too dangerous for you."
CRACK!
Sasuke's words broke Naruto's hold on his patience. It wasn't often the two fought, but when they did there was a standard three mile radius from the two to the people.
"YOU BASTARD!" Naruto swung at Sasuke's jaw but Kakashi stopped it midway, he was in no mood to drag corpses to the morgue.
"Stop it you two! This mission will require both of you."
"Ugh! Why's that?" Naruto promptly calmed down. He would 'pound' Sasuke into the wall later. Yes, that sounded much more fun.
"Because, this will require your endurance, Naruto, and Sasuke's Sharingan. This way you'll find the honey and only Naruto-chan will be hurt." Kakashi smirked at the last remark. Sure Naruto seemed clumsy, but he was actually a very skilled ninja; when he wanted to be.
"Hmm. And then I'll need to pack some ramen, and kunai, and ramen, and my mask, and another ramen, and..." Naruto was currently squatting and drawing invisible pictures on the floor with his right forefinger contemplating his luggage. Of course he wouldn't be the one packing it, Sasuke would. Naruto always packed so much ramen that there was never any room left in his bag for the essentials and the rest of his planned ramen.
"Come on dobe, we need to go get our mission scrolls then pack." Sasuke began dragging Naruto off by the collar, the dragged still thinking about packing ramen.
"No need to go to the tower, I have your scrolls right here." Kakashi handed them two black enveloped scrolls. "You leave the gates before daybreak. That means no sudden horse-back riding Naruto." His eye arched up into a smile as Naruto turned into a human red light bulb and Sasuke's cheeks tinted pink for about 0.3 seconds.
"Kakashi-sensei, that's horrible! How come you don't say things like that about other people, like Shikamaru and Tamari?!"
"But you guys are just much more fun than anyone else!" He said in a faked whiny voice.
"Naruto," Sasuke began sternly, "We have to get ready. If you just ignore him he'll go back to reading his book."
"Hehe, no I won't."
"Ack! See Sasuke! That Letcher will never-" They finally left, Sasuke dragging Naruto by the hand.
"I hope you two will be okay." Kakashi said softly more to himself than anyone else.
"Sasukeee!" Naruto was whining again. Ever since he and Sasuke got home Naruto was doing nothing but complain. Of course he did have a reason; Sasuke was being bitchy again.
"Sasukeeeeeee!"
"WHAT NARUTO?!"
"Oh, well, never mind then." (haha, Peter XD)
Sasuke heaved a great sigh. He knew he was being temperamental with Naruto, but he couldn't help it. It was Naruto who saved him from the darkness, Naruto who gave him a life other than revenge. It is Naruto who gives him love and who he in turn gives love to, it is Naruto who holds him in this state and prevents him from going insane and he who holds Naruto the same. Now it was Naruto who was going into a mission in which his life would be on the line and Sasuke couldn't complain at all.
"Naruto, please, just be quiet for a while."
Naruto complied. He knew Sasuke needed some time to cool off before he could think properly. He left the room, though not in any hurry, and went to go see Sakura before he left.
Sakura lay dazed on her back, looking at the ceiling of her bedroom. It was her day off and someone had woken her up with constant knocking on her door. She figured that whoever it was would take the hint and go away if she didn't answer, but it was now fifteen minuets and forty-two seconds since she was woken up. How did she know this? The timer next to her bed she was keeping track of ever since she opened her crusted eyes. Then, finally, the knocking stopped with a fading grunt. She decided she would curl up in her blanket and dream sweet thoughts of Naruto dieing and Sasuke beings hers. Of course she would never seriously put those thoughts into consideration; no, never; they were just part of a fantasy in wonderland.
"SAKURA!!!"
"WAA!" Sakura fell on her butt, shock pumping adrenaline into her blood with the feverish pounding of her heart. She was sprawled on the floor with her pink cushions and pillows tied up in knots around her legs and shoulders, making her hair almost invisible. Her eyes scornfully rose to the person looming over her who had not only almost given her a heart attack, but also broke into her apartment! "What the hell Ino?! Do you think you can break into people's houses and scare them half to death whenever you please?"
"Well," said Ino in a haughty tone, "if you had gotten your lazy ass out of bed in the first place I wouldn't have had to climb through the window," and as such, the window was slightly ajar; letting in the cool, drafty air of early spring.
"You know this is the only day I've gotten in weeks and I wouldn't have wanted to get up for anyone," her heart beat had gotten back to normal. She picked herself up off the floor and tossed the bedding, along with herself, onto the mattress. "So, what is it that you came here for anyway?"
"If you actually got off your ass and looked outside into the real world, you'd know that Sasuke and some of the other guys are going to be gone for months on a mission and they're leaving tomorrow," she huffed in prideful knowledge, "In fact, it's Sasuke, Naruto, Shino, and Shikamaru who are going."
"But, why are they leaving in the first place? And how did you find out?" Sakura glared angrily at Ino through silted eyes and pursed lips.
"I have informants everywhere, but we have to give them a farewell gift. After all, it could be months before we see them again!"
"You're right, for once. Let's go!" Sakura then grabbed her purse and headed out the door.
Ino grabbed the back of her collar before she could get across the threshold, "Hold it there Bessie. I think you might want to take a second glance at your outfit." Sakura looked down to see herself in pink pajamas with little ducks all over. That's right, she still wore those kinds of pajamas even at her age. "Maybe while we're out, we can get you some grown-up p.j.'s. Nighties or lingerie would be nice."
"What? But I like my p.j.'s; they're comfy," she sighed and then, "I better go change."
666666666666666666666666666
Naruto knocked on Sakura's door for the hundredth time and finally gave up, "Must be out. Either that or she got piss drunk, passed out, and still hasn't woken up."
He left the small corridor of Sakura's apartment building and went into Konoha's village market to look around. Naruto spotted a few new shops as he walked through the cluttered streets. 'Guess the life of a shinobi makes you miss some things.' A small shop caught Naruto's eye and he decided to check the place out. It was an old antique shop filled with ancient, dusty items people before did not want.
As he looked around, a small old woman slowly crept behind Naruto. "MAY I HELP YOU?!!" (DoReiMe anyone?)
Naruto jumped up and caught one of the store's beams; his heart raced at the unexpected approach. The old woman stood where she had been and looked blankly at the space in front of her that was previously occupied by Naruto. Her withered face gleamed with amusement. Naruto guessed she had done this with all her customers; shinobi or not.
He quickly let go of the beam and landed where he stood before a few moments ago. The woman in front of him could not have been taller than four feet! She had wrinkly cheeks that drooped off of her face, small beady eyes, a small nose, and a mouth that looked small but could pack a wallop of a yell as Naruto had encountered. Her hair was tied up in a traditional bun and she was wearing a gray house kimono.
"Are you looking for something in particular, sir?" her voice was low and monotone but carried age in it.
Naruto looked away and scratched his cheek, a bit embarrassed that an old woman could walk up on him without him even noticing. "Um...no. No, I'm not, but thank you. I was just looking around."
"We have various items; some may even hold the interest of a youngster like yourself."
"Thank you," he said as she walked to the back room of the shop.
"Just ring the bell once you are ready."
Naruto looked around the shop for a while; finding the most peculiar of things as he did. There were monkey paws, and tiger claws. There were Daffy quills, and rabbit gills! A fish within a dish, and a dish within a fish. The store had bobs and ribbons, fitted on the heads of sweet panther kittens. (OMG! I'm a Dr. Suez wanna-be) Naruto asked himself whether all of this was legal or not. I mean, this shop even has Daffy Duck's feathers!!
He laughed to himself, "I wonder whether or not I could hunt wabbits in this place." Naruto then turned into an isle that seemed fairly normal. There were a few items that seemed to interest Naruto but once he got a good look at them he turned them down.
Out of the corner of his eye, Naruto spotted an onyx figure. He took as close a look as the glass covered shelf would provide but it was enough for him to see a small black Phoenix figurine in flight; next to it was a matching white figure. The onyx figure had red eyes and the white figure had blue. Naruto absolutely fell in love with them and quickly ran to the front desk to ring the bell. The old woman went to the front desk and Naruto told her what he wanted. The purchase was made and Naruto began walking home to show Sasuke what he had just bought.
Halfway back to his house, Naruto ran into Sakura and Ino as they left one of the pastry shops regularly visited by people with a sweet tooth.
"Hey Sakura-chan, Ino-chan! How have you two been?"
"Hey Naruto!" Sakura bubbled, "We were just about to visit Sasuke-kun and you."
"Really? How come?" Naruto asked with a look of surprise on his face.
Ino decided to answer that question, "We're gathering up everyone from your team to go meet the rest of the gang at the barbeque restaurant at seven. It's a going away party of sorts, and since it's kind of early, you guys will be rested enough for tomorrow's trip."
Naruto had the "what are you talking about" look on his face as she finished up her little monologue. "Wait, how did you know that we were leaving and when?"
Sakura gave him a dull look and repeated the words Ino had given her earlier, "She has informants everywhere." Ino stood there with a grin on her face.
Naruto gave a smile of amusement at that statement. He asked them "So, have you rounded everyone else up?"
Sakura placed her forefinger on her chin and looked inquisitively at the sky, "Well, we told Shikamaru when we woke him at the park, and since Chouji was with him he's going to be coming too."
"And we found Shino scaring away some kids trying to fry ants with a magnifying glass a few blocks away," Ino interjected. She gave a small snigger, "It was so hilarious seeing those kids run when he pulled up his sleeve and showed them all those spiders."
Sakura's complexion turned a bit green and she rested her hand on her stomach, "I don't know why you're laughing, Ino. That was absolutely disgusting."
"Oh come on. That was mild considering they were kids. Just be glad Shino didn't strip." Naruto had to snort at that.
"And what about the rest?" Naruto inquired.
"We're getting to the rest," Ino huffed, "We needed to find Sasuke, you, Neji, Hinata, Kiba and Lee."
"Why are we inviting Neji, Hinata, and Kiba again?"
"Because they're friends and Hinata is always with Neji and Kiba is always with Hinata."
Naruto raised his hand and said, "I have a question!"
"Shoot," answered Sakura.
"Since I heard the Sand team is here, can I invite Gaara and his family?"
Both girls' eyes bulged. They had herd nothing about Kazekage's visit to Konoha, and Ino had informants everywhere!
"Where did you get this information, Naruto?" Sakura asked while scrutinizing him closely. Her pink locks fell from behind her ears and into her face.
"Gaara sent me a message a week ago," he said with a wide forced grin as he stepped away from a scary looking Sakura and Ino.
Forgetting everything they were talking about, Ino pointed to the bag Naruto was holding and what was inside of it. "Oh, this? It's just something I picked up from an antique shop not too far from here." He pulled out the two figures from the bag carefully. The girls squealed and bubbled at the sight of the "cute dolls."
"Hey, look," Ino told Sakura, "their eyes match Sasuke and Naruto's."
Sakura took a closer look, "Wow, you're right! Naruto, did you notice this?"
"Well, sort of. I noticed the eyes but I didn't put much thought into how they related with Sasuke and me." 'Must be a girl thing,' Naruto thought.
"Well," Ino said, "it's really cute. Though I don't think Sasuke would want something cute," she sniggered behind her hand.
Naruto rolled his eyes and began walking home again. Sakura yelled at him for his rudeness and reminded him, "Don't forget! Seven o'clock and you better be there with Sasuke-kun or else!"
Riosuu: Hello viewers! I am your auspicious writer. It's okay, you may bow. (Everyone looks at author with blank stares.)
Okay, fine. Just ridicule me why don't you.
(Everyone starts laughing and pointing at author.) T.T
YOU PEOPLE ARE SO CRUEL!! .
Well anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will review so I won't feel like crap. (Can you believe it was over 3,000 words? that's my longest chapter ever!) OH! I almost forgot to introduce my co-host Jake. Jake!
Jake: What?
Riosuu: Say hi.
Jake: Oh. Hi.
Riosuu: Sorry, he's a little down right now. We're both sick and he comes from the bipolar village in my brain. YAY FOR BIPOLAR VILLAGE!!
Bipolar Village: YOU SUCK YOU STUPID MOTHER ... oh what's the point?
Riosuu: Whoa, almost thought I was gonna get my head chopped off there. Well, I'll hopefully see you in the next chapter. Whispers: If not, send cops to bipolar village.
Jake: I doubt they'd come anyways.