Just some silliness I made up. Hoorah for one shots. This one is titled "Mindfulness". Please don't shoot me for this if you find it offending. This chapter pokes fun at the ideal of mindfulness, apparently common in Buddhist beliefs. I actually showed this to a Buddhist, and she thought it was funny. So. Plus, I actually think Ed capable of this. I however, am not. So I made a one shot. D

Ed: Disclaimer.

Magic: Ner…

Ed: You have to let him out of the closet SOMETIME.

Magic: Fine.

Disclaimer: Magic owns none of FMA. In fact, she doesn't own this computer, font, color, website, word processor, or the jeans she's wearing. Not even her hair scrunchie. Earrings. NAIL POLISH. rambles on but people have stopped listening

Edward Elric sat at the base of a oak tree in his backyard, his golden eyes closed in fierce concentration. He seemed relatively peaceful, although completely ignoring his surroundings, when his younger brother clanked out of the nearby house.

"Uh, Ed?" Alphonse said. No response. "Brother…our train is leaving soon." Still no response. Alphonse decided to risk being flipped or crushed or hit in general, not that it would really hurt him, seeing as he was a suit of armor, which the author is continuing to remind him of but oops he just glared at me… Make it stop TINCAN!

Alphonse wanted the fan fiction to continue, and arguing with the authoress is a dangerous, useless task, so he sicked a kitten on the author of screen and shook Ed's shoulder. Edward's right eye flipped open, while the other remained shut. He didn't move from lotus position, his arms out in a meditative style.

"I am being mindful…and living in the moment." He said simply. Alphonse seemed confused by this.

"But we have a train to catch in twenty minutes."

"LIVING IN THE MOMENT!" Edward barked fiercely, still managing not to move

"But what about the Philosopher's Stone?" Alphonse asked, starting to get worried.

"I am living in the moment, and don't recall this… 'Philosopher's Stone'." Ed said, closing his right eye. Alphonse scooted away.

"Who are you and what have you done with brother! More importantly, what about ME? I DON'T WANT TO STAY A SUIT OF ARMOR!" Alphonse cried, falling over and freaking out on the ground. Winry emerged from the house.

"Uh, Ed? Al?" She said. "You know your trains leaving soon."

"LIVING IN THE MOMENT!" And with that, a stick hit Winry in the head. There was a long pause…And then a solid thud as Winry chucked her wrench at Edward.

"…Ow. What happened?" Edward said from his new position sprawled out on the ground.

"You were 'living in the moment'. YOU FORGOT ABOUT MEEE!" Alphonse whined.

"You threw a stick at the wrong person, SHORTY." Winry said, going back into her house.

"I'M STILL GROWING SO DON'T CALL ME SHORT YOU MECH OTAKU!!! Anyway…Wow. That was weird. I think I should get rid of those books I got from that garage sale on 'mindfulness'."

"Good brother! We'll burn them, and no one else will have this problem again!" Alphonse said, happy his brother was going to do the right thing for once.

"Actually, I think I know someone who could use these Al…" Edward said, smirking as he looked up from writing an address on the package with the series of three books in it. Alphonse merely sighed.

Colonel Roy Mustang

Central City, Amestris Military HQ

Office 56

…No return address.

Bad? OOC? You hate me and wish I would die? Review, and I will give you...another chapter. Joy of joys, don't you think?