First off: DONT JUDGE and if you dont want to read then dont, dont read it and then go off trolling because hey, YOU DIDNT HAVE TO READ IT , but thx if u do read it because u actually want to xoxo
Hurt Locker (one year ago today3)
A/N: srry guys thisone just needed to be written, its kind of personal so #nohate and well i hope you like it because blaine is a big ol' sweetheart and he's always there for his boyfriend3 Enoy
Warnings: angst,self harm, whump, limp!?, woobie? beatings, mentioned suicide attempts,m/m (although i dont see how thats a squick or why i have to warn its not a big deal but whatever)
diclaimer: i do not own glee or klaine, only this story and the belief that they are the best ship to ever sail3
Blaines POV
He came in like that again today. He had a black eye, his hair was messed up, his clothing dissheveled, and his papers and books in a messy pile in his arms. He looked like he was sleepwalking, staring off into the distanc as he absentmidedly walked into the library.
i went up to meet him. "hey babe" i say as i take the books from kurt and land a small kiss on his lips. he shakes his head like he's been snapped out of a trance. "wh-what?" i set the books down, "kurt are you okay?' i cup his face in my hand and look into his eyes, "because you know that if anything is wrong you could tell me right?" "i-i- i have to go' he says and he leaves quickly without taking any of his things.
somethings going on, i think to myself, and im gonna get to the bottom of it
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Kurts POV
i leave the library quickly and am able to get to the bathroom before i start to cry. I look in the mirro and just concentrate on not breaking down. I splash some water on my face and close my eyes. The bell rings and people hurry out to get to class. through my closed eyes i can hearthree boys coming into the bathroom im in. Whatup Hummel? says karofsky, are you, are you crying? oh no , little lord gay has probably lost his favorite dildo says the boy to his left, Eric. Yeah and his boyfriend threw away all his issues of vogue says the third boy, David and they all laugh.
We better teach him a lesson, mabye knock some straight into him, says karofsky and david and eric move in to pull me up. they each grab one of my arms and hold me in place and i can feel the pain even before karofskys fist connects with my nose. he hits me a few more times, in the chin, the forehead, the eye. before they drop me onto the ground and he starts kicking me. i curl up into a ball and tell myself, it's all going to be okay. its all going to be okay. its all going to be ok- Shit. he kicks me straight in the stomach. Boys. he kicks me . kick. Date. kick. Boys. he kicks me one more time in the chest and it feels like all the air leaves my body and i start to black out.
When i come to i see that about 20 minutes have passed so i just lay there in pain until i realize
that my nose is bleeding. i get up to get some tissues but once i see my reflection in the mirror, battered and bruised i cant help it anymore. I cant fight anymore, i give up, i lock myself in a stall and i let myself cry. At first its just light sad tears and then before i know it its bodyshaking sobs.
How can i do this. How can i keep fighting? why dont i just give up? theres nothing for me here anymore. Every. Single. Day. is the same torturous cycle. .. And i could just end it all.
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(are you still there reader? keep reading i swear it gets betterXD srry the truth is so dark lol )
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Blaines POV
im sittingin the middle of chemistry reviewin notes with sam and i am just about ready to die of boredom. i decide to go to the bathroom and mabye see if i can find anyone i know in the halls.
…
as i walk to the bathroom i hear it. at first its faint but theres no denying that its crying- and it sounds like kurt. as get closer and closer to the bathroom it gets louder and louder and all i can think to myself is . . please not kurt, not him, anyone but him. i break into a sprint. the sound of sobbing hits me as soon as i open the door.(?) i try every stall until i find one thats locked.
"Kurt?"
a pause.
'blaine?" he sniffs
"can i come in?"
"..No."
"why not? are you okay?"
"i'm"- he chokes-" im fine"
"honey somethings wrong, please le me in and we can talk about it? or we can not talk about it, its up to you."
he's quiet for a few minutes and then i hear the latch click.
i open the door and i seea bruised and bleeding and tear stained kurt. i can feel my heart break. who would do this to him. my precious kurt. who has never laid a hand on anyone, ever. and yet somebody beat him up.
"oh my god, kurt whatwhat happened?"
he startsto say something but he cant even get a sentence out without sobbing again and i grab him and pull him onto my lap and hold him tightly.
"sssh ssshhh its okay, im here now, no ones gonna harm you"
he cries quietly into my shoulder while i pet his hair and hum into his ear.
then he lets go and looks at me andsays ," they hit me."
"what? who?"
"k-k-k-"
i can tell hes about to cry again so i hold his hands and give them a light squeeze (i know how much he loves that3),
"its okay. you can tell me anything, i promise."
"k-k-karofky, and e-eric and d-david, they, iwas in the bathroom form when you know i ran away fromy ou in the library earlier and they just came in and started harassing me for being gay and then-and then they-"
"its okay you can tell me"
"they just, they , they just started hitting me and punching me and then they threw me on the ground and started kicking me and they just kept telling me that being gay was wrong and telling me that if i didnt straighten myself out then they would come back until i did and - and it was just- just so awful you know- he looks at me with pain in his face and i just want to somehow make it all go away and make him feel better- its just, how could someone have so much.. hatred that it would bring them to beat someone down for something they cant change. i mean, its not like thats going to do something, they cant punch the gay out of me anymore than i could punch the ignaranmous out of them. its just stupid."
he shakes his head and then we sitthere for a while in slence.
"kurt?"
"yeah"
"is that why youve been comig to class with bruises and with your hair and clothes all messed up? "
"….yeah."
"babe, im so sorry. i didnt know-if- if you would have told me i would have-"
"told someone? tryd to stop them? well then you'd just be here instead of me."
"i'd would take all of it if it meant you didnt have to"
he looks at me. "..really?"
"of course. i love you."
"i love you too. so so so so much. and im so glad i found you so early in this lifetime because all i want to do is spend my life loving you."
i kiss his forehead.
"gosh your sappy."
"its true. can i tell you something?"
"yeah of course, what is it?"
"well, earlier on i just though, why-why dont i just end it? theres so much pain and hurt andjust emptiness and i could just end it. and i had it all planned out. How i was going to do it, where i was going to do it and when i was going to do it. but when i got there, right as i was about to jump, something stopped me, andi just couldnt go through with it."
"what was it?"
"you."
"me?"
" yeah. i knew that i couldnt leave because i wouldnt have you with me and because for some crazy absurd reason you say you love me and i just- i couldnt do that to you. because nobody deserves pain like that. nobody."
"i do love you. i love you so,so,so much and its not are the most beautiful, most talented, and most kind and caring and loving person i have ever met and you deserve to be loved fearlessly and forever."
"i love you"
"i love you more"
he kisses me gently and we sit there smiling and wrapped in a hug until school gets out.
A:N:(im sorry the ending did kind of seem a little cut off but thats basically the way it happened (lol but without all the klaine references and withouth kurt and blaine;)but for real i am unbelievably thankful to bae to be here today one year later because one year ago today i was in the closet hating myself for even considering the thought of dating another girl,getting upset at myself for the stupidest shit and things i couldnt control,and going through one of the hardest times of my life but now here i am, alive and 3 months cut free , and im happily out and in love with my best friend again who is the blaine to my kurt, so love u if ur reading this wifey3 ) plz review for more 3 love always cause #hatersgonnahate
Note: people there is an absolutely UNBELIEVABLE amount of hatred and supression in our world today and we dont encourage people to be themselves nearly as much as we should and i justst think its stupid that you would tak e it upon yourself to harm someone because you dont agree woth something that theyre doing, ITS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN,im sorry but its not, and the next time you decide to judge someone or discriminate against them just because you think they seem a little off or strange to you, just think about what people are thinking about you. your not perfect either and also you realize how you (almost) never see a group of LGBTs going up to a straight and being like eww whats wrong with you, you shouldnt do that its wrong? im just saying…. so #treatothersthewayyouwanttobetreated #thegoldenrule (lol im srry for the rant also but its way to late and people are way too bitchy and judgmental)