Return
Castle stood by the open door of his loft with a bowl of full sized candy bars, trying desperately to stay in a Halloween mood. All the kids in the area knew that his place was a goldmine. Some years, he could have sworn they were bused in, but he always enjoyed it. While a steady stream of costumed beggars had arrived at his door, some of their cheer had been contagious, But it was late and the stream had been reduced to a few drops. Castle loved scary music. He loved carving pumpkins. He loved parties. He especially loved dressing up, whether it was as a space cowboy or Edgar Allen Poe. But this year he just couldn't get into the spirit. With Kate gone, the holiday had deflated like an over-age jack-o-lantern with it's toothy grin dissolving into orange mush.
A lone, clearly female figure came up the stairs. If she was a kid, she was a big one, at least five nine, not counting the four inch spike heels on her knee high boots. Satin black hair from a butt length wig flowed down her back, topped by a satin witches hat. Her black gown was corseted, enhancing already considerable curves. A black satin mask covered her face. She came and stood silently at the door. "You don't even have a bag. No trick or treat?" Castle asked.
Her voice was low, almost inaudible. "I hope you'll think this is a treat."
"Kate!" Dropping his bowl on a nearby chair, Castle pulled her inside and closed the door. "What are you doing here?"
"Castle, I know how much you love Halloween, how much it means to you. Martha has her play. Alexis has her own friends at school. I hated to think of you alone tonight. I thought we could spend it together."
"Why the witch costume?"
Kate considered that the less she was seen coming to the loft, the better off Castle would be, but she couldn't tell him that. That was the problem. She couldn't tell him anything. "Maybe because I feel a little like a witch right now, and not the good kind. I know this is rough on you. It's rough on me too and I wish I could explain. I just hope you can keep trusting me."
Castle closed his eyes, trying to force air into his lungs. "Kate you make that really tough. You told me there would be no more secrets between us and a few hours later there's a secret huge enough to make you leave. How am I supposed to understand that? How am I supposed to understand cold sheets where my wife should be? What did I do? Just tell me what I did!"
Kate cupped his face in both hands. "Oh Castle, Babe, you didn't do anything. This is my fault. It's all my fault, and someday I'll be able to tell you what I did. But not tonight."
"Then Kate, what do you want to do tonight?"
"I think you know."
"So is this a service call, Kate? You need a fill-up so you come to my door? Seems I've seen this movie before. You were so sure all you wanted was me, and then when the case came rushing in, you went rushing out - by yourself."
"We weren't married then Castle," Kate protested.
"Are we now?" he asked. "I remember a vow of always being partners in crime, in life, always. Right now we're not partners in anything."
"Castle we are. Being able to see you on cases, to work with you, it's the only thing that brings our separation close to bearable. And when I come home permanently, if you'll let me, we'll be partners in everything again. Castle I love you, I want to be with you more than I want anything. I know you've heard the words before, so let me show you."
Kate brought her lips close to his, but he backed away. "Kate, the fact that we're good in bed - great in bed - is not news. While it might lead to an incredible night, it would just be that much worse if you were gone in the morning. Great sex doesn't mean you're in love. If it did, I'd still be married to Meredith."
Tears soaked the satin of Kate's mask. "So what can I do? How do I prove how much I love you?"
"You do the thing you've always run from. You tell me the truth, all of the truth. And then whatever is happening, whatever is going on, we deal with it together. Kate, you talk to me or you go back to wherever it is you've been hiding."
Kate tore away the damp fabric covering her face. "Babe, it could kill you!"
Castle turned away, his own eyes welling. "That wouldn't be much of a change from what's happening now."
A sob rose from the depths of Kate's soul as she followed him. "So I have to choose between signing a death warrant for our marriage and one for you?"
"Kate, how many times have you told me that the decision to risk your life is yours, not mine? Well that cuts both ways. Kate, I made the decision to put my life on the line a long time ago to be with you, or we never would have made it past our first case together. The N.Y.P.D. has copious paperwork to prove it. Give me the chance to make my own choice now."
Kate drew a rattling breath. "Alright, Castle. Just promise me that once I tell you, you'll do your best to stay alive."
Castle's lips turned upward beneath his dampened cheeks as he stroked her face. "You are talking to the guy who grabbed all the wires on a dirty bomb and disarmed it. How much worse can this be than facing imminent vaporization?"
Despite herself, Kate smiled back. "Castle, first you need to know you have a stepmother. I met her. She calls herself Rita and she's been married to your father for ten years. When Vikram and I were attacked by a squad of killers led by the same guy who tortured and almost killed you, she saved us. She told me that Allison Hyde wasn't behind the killing of Rachel and the others. Bracken had a partner, known only as Locsat, a mole somewhere in the CIA. He's still out there. He ordered those deaths. They're my fault Castle. They happened because of a query I put out. I need to find Locsat and make this right."
Castle paced a few steps away before turning back to face her. "This Locsat, do you have any evidence besides what my supposed stepmother told you?"
Kate's eyes widened. "No, but Castle, she saved me."
"Kate, how do you know she didn't set up the whole thing? We've worked with my father. One thing that made very clear is that he's a superlative liar and like most excellent liars, he mixes in enough truth to make his lies believable. I worked with the CIA for a year. They're steeped in deception. It becomes a reflex. I slept with Sophia Turner and she still had me completely fooled. She fooled everyone. If this Rita is some kind of spook, you can't believe anything she says. She may have nothing to do with my father, let alone be his wife. She could be using you for her own purposes, just like my father used both of us."
"But Castle, she tried to keep me away from the case. She told me to go home to my 'handsome husband.'"
"Kate I'm flattered, but she probably researched your whole history, your obsession with justice. She could have known that trying to stop you would be the one thing that would send you on a quest. Hell Kate, she could have taken out Rachel and the rest of your group just for window dressing. I know my father would do that without a second thought. There may not even be a Locsat. Or she may have laid a trail for you to protect the real mole, like Sophia laid false trails at the CIA. Kate, you really don't know anything for sure. You could just be a pawn on the chessboard, set up to fall to protect the queen."
Kate sank to the couch with her head in her hands. "Castle since the moment Vikram called I've been so caught up I never had time to think about Rita's story."
"She could have been counting on that. That's why you need me Kate, to think in directions you wouldn't go. Did she tell you that if you investigated, not to pull me into it?"
"Castle, essentially that's exactly what she told me, that the blood of anyone else I involved would be on my hands. She knew I couldn't do that to you."
"So she isolated you."
"I have Vikram," Kate pointed out.
"And what do you know about him?" Castle asked.
Kate drew another deep breath. "Almost nothing. Oh Castle, I was so sure about what I was doing I was willing to throw away the most precious thing in my life - our marriage. I must have been crazy."
Castle knelt in front of her, drawing her tear stained face to his chest. "You were manipulated by someone expertly trained to do just that. Believe me, I know the feeling."
"Castle, what do I do now?"
"Kate, you come home. And whatever the real story is, we'll find it together. But Kate, coming home means a real partnership. You'll have to promise me that there will be no more secrets, and mean it. That's the only way our marriage can work. Can you do that?"
"Castle, there's no way now I could bear to do anything else."
The meeting of their lips sealed Kate's vow.
