Author's Notes: A little more background to the story ('story' *cough*): I really like the dynamic between Qrow and Winter in the series - those two clearly have a history! I'm not a fan of the whole "they hate each other that must mean they love each other" thing, so I'm not convinced of romance but I can absolutely see them end up in some kind of fuck buddy relationship that is probably really emotionally unhealthy and involves a lot of power play and s/D dynamics. So this kind of became my head canon and I wrote a lot of smut (nothing in this fanfic). As the gossip mills never stop and word will get out, I then wondered what the reactions of the other characters would be which is pretty much what this here is about. Don't take it entirely seriously though, it's labeled 'crack' for a reason. I always imagined Weiss to have a fit upon finding out Ruby's uncle is doing her sister so I'm thinking nobody would tell her. Not that they'd *lie* to her, you know, just pointedly not mention it, like, ever.
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„Hey Ruby."
„Hey Yang. Wanna play with me?"
„Sure!" Yang flopped down on the floor next to her sister and pulled out her scroll to connect it to the game station. „Hey, you know what we were talking about yesterday? About uncle Qrow and Weiss' sister?"
„Yeah, what about them?", said Ruby, without taking her eyes of the screen and hammering madly on the virtual buttons on her scroll.
„Look, I know you don't wanna hear this, but... Uncle Qrow isn't in love with Winter", said Yang.
„What makes you say that?", asked her sister and frowned in confusion.
„Well I kinda overheard dad and uncle Qrow talking about it yesterday. Honestly, that was a conversation I could have done without", said Yang and rolled her eyes. Ruby snuck her a sideways glance.
„And yet you still eavesdropped", she said. It wasn't an accusation but it did sound mildly amused. Yang blushed.
„Yeah well, I was still curious okay?"
„So what did he say? Uncle Qrow, I mean. Goddammit Yang! I hate this stupid combo of yours! Argh!", Ruby cursed. Yang laughed.
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„So", said Tai and casually let one arm fall over the back of his chair.
„So?", repeated Qrow, mimicking his pose and grinning.
„You and Winter Schnee, huh?", asked Tai.
„Me and Winter Schnee", Qrow confirmed.
„Is it a serious thing?", said Tai and lifted his eyebrows quizzically.
„Pfff! Like hell! As if I'd ever be in a committed relationship, Tai. Naw. It's just sex", said Qrow, slouching in his chair and taking a sip from his flask. „Pretty great sex, actually. Mind-blowing, fantastic-"
„Yeah okay fine thanks, I get the picture. You're getting laid."
„I'm getting laid." He grinned at his brother-in-law. Tai snorted.
„Does Winter's sister know? I mean she's Ruby's friend. Kinda weird, isn't it?"
„I guess. But since I'm not planning to bring Winter over for family dinner anytime soon..." Qrow shrugged. "No idea if Weiss knows. Probably not or we'd have heard about it from Ruby, don't you think? From what I know about Weiss, she wouldn't approve."
Tai likewise shrugged and raised his eyebrows to indicate he had no clue either.
„Maybe. Is Winter like her sister?"
„If her sister is a prissy, prideful pain in the ass, then yeah, kinda." Tai frowned at this and Qrow added: „But I'm a drunk pain in the ass so we probably deserve each other."
The blonde man put his face in his hand and shook his head but he couldn't hide his laughter.
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„Huh", made Ruby. „Oh well. They're adults. I guess if it works for them, it's fine."
„You sure? You were pretty happy when you found out uncle Qrow was..." Yang waved her scroll about, not paying attention to the screen for a moment. „...dating Weiss sister, or whatever we should call it. Hey! No fair!" While she had looked away, Ruby had gotten in several quick hits that had dealt quite a lot of damage.
„Sorry!", snickered Ruby and didn't sound very sorry at all. „It's because I like Weiss. And I think her sister's kinda cool so I thought it would be nice if they'd come visit us here, you know? They'd be like family. Even though Winter didn't seem to like me very much..."
„Oh right, you've met her. She didn't like you?", asked Yang curiously. Ruby shrugged.
„Eeeh, I think she thought I wasn't good enough as a team leader for Weiss. But that was ages-" Yang's eyes had started to glow.
„Excuse me?! Who does she think-"
„It's fine, Yang!", Ruby interrupted her. „Weiss didn't like me either when we first met, remember? That doesn't mean anything." She focused on the screen for a moment, the tip of her tongue sticking out in concentration.
„That's true!", laughed Yang, calming down again. „Whoa! What the hell?! Where'd you learn that move? What the- how?!"
„I've told you I practiced. I am going to destroy you." Ruby sniggered evilly.
„In your dreams, sister!", growled Yang and executed a complicated jump-run-hit combo that would have drained said sister's life bar considerably if it had actually worked.
„Anyway", said Ruby who had somehow managed to escape via a perfectly timed summersault. „Uncle Qrow seems pretty happy, with...whatever it is they are doing. That's all that matters. I just want uncle Qrow to be happy." She smiled.
„Yeah, me too", said Yang, her smile mirroring Ruby's while they were both pressing buttons like mad women.
They never noticed their uncle watching them from the kitchen doorway. He too, a smile on his face.