Animaniacs is owned by Warner Bros., I don't claim any of them as mine, same as with any other franchise I use in here, they're not mine either.
This is not related to my "A Dare Gone Zany" storyline. Also happy holidays and happy New Year to everyone!
Varied theme song line of the day: All three Warners are next to a Christmas tree, with a blue-furred Grinch parody character caught upside-down in a rope trap and decorated in ornaments and garland like the rest of the tree: All 3: "Grinching is lame-y!"
8 PM, The Warner Movie Lot, inside the Water Tower
The Warners had just gotten back from another chaos-filled day being chased by Ralph, having climbed back into the tower with a grappling hook as the sun was down. They also had brought a bag with them, which was clattering with metal. By the time they got back up, Ralph had caught up and pulled on the hook, tearing off a chunk a beam from the tower and conking him right on the head. The Warners shrugged and headed inside their home and set the bag down.
"You think we got some good ones?" Dot said to Yakko eagerly.
Yakko smiles brightly and opens the bag. "Oh my feminine sib sister, worry not your pretty little mind. They're all good." He assured Dot as he patted her on the head, then dumped the bag's contents onto the floor. The contents contained a lot of various film canisters with titled labels, specifically Warner-related. The Warners must've sneaked into the supposedly "secret" vault to get some of their lost classics back!
"Tell me my relatable friends, What better way to relax after a day of fun-filled chaos?" Yakko asked them like a teacher would.
"Listen to an Alien Ant Farm concert?" Dot suggested.
"Lose a game of foosball and cry about it?" Wakko asked as well.
"Nope and nope, but both excellent choices!" Yakko said. "It's reliving some of our 'ye olden' days from that amazing era of silent black and white!" He said proudly as he picked up one of the film canisters and set it on a table, wearing a gas mask as he opened it up, having some gas come out of it. Such wackiness must be handled carefully after all.
"Aww, back when you could drop a safe on someone and get paid for it." Wakko said with a sigh of happiness. "And have all-you-can-eat buffets with every shoot." He added as he pats his belly, now hungry upon thinking about food.
Yakko zipped around and got things ready, such as a projector screen, a projector they kept for years for occasions like this, and three director-style chairs just for the occasion, complete with their names embroidered on the backs.
"I hope we looked as good as we do now." Dot said as they got the popcorn.
"And the best part is we didn't need surgery to keep it that way." Yakko responded, now without the mask. "Ya know, like 90% of Hollywood anyway."
"Except that time I got the Jackson treatment." Wakko said as he pulled out a Michael Jackson mask, likely from years ago. "They even offered me two different color choices before they did it!" He added as he tossed the mask away.
"Talk about variety in the liposuction capital of the world." Dot chimed in.
Yakko soon finished setting everything up and popped the film in the projector. "Alright everyone, ready! Get in your places, 'Warners' Greatest Hits' is about to begin!"
"Yay! Movie Night, Movie Night!" The other two siblings chanted and cheered and hopped happily before all three of them zipped into their seats. Yakko flipped on the projector and the film started rolling.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
"Dot at the Races", from 1933
We start with cutting to a horse race track in Anywhere, USA; the place had just opened for the day and people are putting in their bets for their horses to get big paydays. Soon after, the Warner Sister Dot enters the building, practically skipping as she headed to the booth to put her bet in as well. Using her cute charm to convince the ticket person to let her in, she goes to the audience to sit down and watch the race. She wasn't in the mood for betting, she just wanted to see what cute riders she can ogle.
The race then begins and the horses and their riders head out the starting gate, running as fast as they can. As it progresses, one of the more handsome riders catches Dot's eye and she immediately starts to fall head over heels for him, with romantic music playing. The rider had flowing black hair and his face looked a bit chiseled, and the muscle tone he had complimented it quite well. Dot let out a loud wolf whistle at the rider and jumped up and down, trying to catch the rider's attention but instead, drawing all the attention from the rest of the audience, all telling her to "SHHH!" as the romantic music soured.
Nearing the end of the race, the rider Dot had her eye on was winning by a close length. But then the Warner Sister immediately popped out of the rider's shirt with a bright grin and wanting to give him a big ol' hug, covering his eyes in the process! Confusing and shocking him, he and the horse tripped and fell to the ground, making other riders trip and fall too in a big 5 horse pileup. The handsome rider popped up all confused and scuffed up with Dot popping up too and offering him a rose all bashful and innocently.
Shortly afterwards, the security guards grabbed Dot and kicked her out of the building, landing and sliding on her face. She gets up with her eyes and nose and mouth rearranged, but shakes her head to get them back to normal. Well that was a fine howdy-do, but she couldn't just leave her newest heartthrob though! He was just too pretty and needed someone like her to give him lots of love! At least that's what her thought bubble contained anyway, including a marriage no less. So she went to thinking of a plan, a hopefully good one to see her crush once again and leave him a very thoughtful present.
One fade-out and fade-in later, Dot was back at the building, using a disguise of a fake mustache and fedora hat. After seemingly placing a bet with the ticket man being none the wiser, she tries to sneak into the stables to see if the rider was getting ready to race. Gentle little piano keys played each little tiptoe Dot made, past the guards, peeking out of someone's hat and so on.
Dot soon reach the stables and sees the rider's horse before the next race, but no rider. He must've left to get some food or something. She left a bunch of flowers and a card by the horse as she hid in a pile of hay nearby to see his reaction. Soon the handsome rider came in and noticed the flowers just as the horse was eating them, making Dot frown that he wouldn't get the complete bouquet.
The rider smells the flowers, wondering who the "secret admirer" could be as the romantic music swelled again, but before he could enjoy them and think about it, a bunch of bees flew out of the uneaten daisies and swarmed him around his face. A bunch of trumpets sounded in place of his scream and the music moved from romantic to frantic from the hectic moment as he ran around fearfully trying to escape the stinging. Soon some security came in to see what the commotion was and tried to swat the bees away as well, unfortunately ending up getting stung as well.
By the time the bees left, it was already time to race, there was no time to clear the stings. The rider hopped on the horse with difficulty since the stings covered his eyesight partially, disregarding the card on the saddle as he got onto the track and making it fall. Dot noticed and hopped out of the hay to grab the card, running after him. She didn't make it and ended up hopping onto a random horse with another rider just as the race began, holding the card in her mouth, a girl on a mission to let her crush know how much she liked him.
As the race kept going, Dot hopped from horse to horse, holding on tight and leaping towards her heartthrob in first place. The other riders didn't seem to care as they were focused on the race itself, giving Dot lots of time to reach her crush. As the race reached the home stretch, Dot made a last leap and grabbed onto the lead horse's tail, making it scared and rear up as it made a 180 and started rubbing around and backwards towards the others. The music swelled as chaos kept sprouting all over the track, with Dot trying to climb up to reach the handsome but still stung-faced rider, each tug on the horse's tail making it whinny with a trumpet sting in place of it. The rider was wondering why the horse was acting like this, trying to regain control but failing.
One reverse lap later, by the time the Warner Sister reached the rider, his horse had ran into the huge group that had stopped, bowling over them and falling and causing another pileup worse than the last. The crash was accompanied by a large and discordant orchestral sting, the dust clearing to let the audience see the bedlam that had occurred. The formerly-first place rider popped out of the pile of other dazed riders and fallen horses, then Dot did too with a bright smile. She brought out an old timey camera, likely something along the lines of an Exakta 66, and snapped a picture of them together of her hugging him tight.
By the time security caught Dot and threw her out again, she already got what she wanted, smiling in love as she brushed herself off. With the picture in hand on the camera to get it developed later, she skips her way towards somewhere else as the film irises out and the "the end" screen fades in with some triumphant music coming with it before the film finally ended.
Back in the present, the Warners all clapped and whistled happily.
"I still have that picture in my album of 'handsome people sent to therapy'!" Dot said, practically swooning in her seat.
"Those stings really added a lot of character." Yakko said like a critic would, accent and all, and complete with bubble pipe. "And all that one-girl bedlam really adds to the charm." He added.
Wakko frowned a little and had a new predicament on his hands however. "All the popcorn's gone!" He said sadly, shaking the empty bowl.
"Our brother, the one-track wonder." Dot said, shaking her head with a smile.
"I think we got time for another movie, don't you?" Yakko asked to the other siblings' agreements.
"I'll get the spare popcorn!" Wakko said as he zipped away while Yakko brought out another film canister they brought with them, with Dot rewinding the film back into the reel out to put back in its own container.
Soon everyone was all ready again, the new film was in the projector and the popcorn was made once again. They hopped back in their seats and got comfy.
"You think we'll get our own critic show?" Dot asked Yakko.
"Well maybe, once Freeform stops doing Harry Potter marathons every other weekend." The older Warner responded to Dot with a shrug as he flicked on the projector, letting the next film play while Wakko started devouring the popcorn.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
"Backyard Brothers", from 1934
The film irises-in to a bright day in a rather quaint neighborhood, descending onto a random home where Yakko and Wakko were playing catch with an old ball with each other in the backyard while a human was asleep, supposed to be watching them. He was likely their lazy babysitter. While the brothers were playing catch, each throw slowly grew more fast and more competitive. Both brothers put more flair and preparation into each throw, growing in power as well as the music ascended. After the 6th throw by Yakko, Wakko missed the catch and the ball bounced off the house and far away onto someone's head a few houses down who was lounging, making the person fall out of their seat in surprise and making a long lump appear on their noggin.
The brothers looked at each other and then decided to get another ball, hopefully something even better than that one. A thought bubble appeared and they remembered seeing a new ball at the town store, they could get that one to throw! They sneaked out of the backyard in tiptoed unison so the older human was still asleep and unaware, heading into town to buy a new ball. As the Warner Brothers walked past other people, they seemed scared of them and ran away before they could get close, seemingly aware of how their antics go. They didn't want to be their "special friend" today or any day.
When they got to the store, they found not just a ball, but a bat as well in a set! Baseball was really getting popular around this time, so it was up for sale at the front. Yakko and Wakko wanted to buy it, but the shopkeep screamed at the sight of them and hand-sprung out of there with hectic music accompanying it for that moment. The brothers shrugged and bought the ball and bat, heading back home and taking their new toys to the backyard to play with them and see how they'd like them.
Wakko was handed the bat and Yakko had the ball, the older brother tossing it once both of them were ready. Wakko missed and spun around a little while, bat in hand as he spun around like a top while Yakko laughed(or as much laughter as a silent film can give). Wakko soon stopped spinning and was rather dizzy, making his trademark "gookie" face as stars swirled around his head. Yakko offered to swing and hands Wakko the ball after he recovered, to show his little brother how it was done.
Once Wakko was back on his feet, Yakko was ready to swing, nodding to tell him to toss it. The younger brother threw the ball and Yakko managed to hit it, and hit it far. It was sent flying high into the air like a fly ball, managing to hit a bird before falling, hitting and bouncing off of various pots and walls and someone's head before it returned to the brothers' backyard. Yakko had already run around an imaginary baseball diamond, "scoring" before the ball returned. Wakko crossed his arms and frowned before he got back up to bat.
Yakko pointed with his finger to watch the baseball carefully. Wakko nodded excitedly and got ready to swing as the older brother tossed it. Wakko actually hit the ball this time and it was sent ricocheting all over the fences this time. Wakko's head spun around to try to keep up with its bounces before it was sent to the air, hitting the same bird and hitting the same person's head after they recovered, what a tough break for them. Wakko smiled brightly and goofily at his older brother, with Yakko giving a thumbs up in return.
One fade-in and fade-out later, Yakko was back up to try again while their supposed babysitter was still sleeping. Wakko threw it and Yakko ended up missing, hitting the poor man on the head, stirring him out of his slumber. He looked angry at the Warner brothers, seething even that his nap was disturbed. So he tosses the ball hard at them out of anger accompanied by a rising orchestral sting, they just stepped to either side and the ball ricocheted off the fence and hit the man back on the face, making him flip and knocking him out.
The Warners looked at each other and shrugged before giving the ball one last throw and hit, this time by the knocked out babysitter. They felt bad that he didn't get to play with their new toy, so better late than never. Yakko was controlling him by holding him up in his arms and making him hold the ball as Wakko was batting. The older brother threw the ball and the younger brother hit it more normally this time, the baseball popping up like another fly ball.
Once it came back down via a whistling sound effect, it was caught by the KO'ed babysitter controlled by Yakko. The music turned happy and triumphant as both Warners hopped up and down at him "catching" the winning out as the babysitter slowly came to after another few seconds. By that time, the Warners were holding him and making him hop up and down with him in celebration, smiling brightly at his catch as if he won a World Series with that catch as they then held him up like they were making him crowd-surf.
The babysitter frowned and pushed the Warners off, starting to ramble about how they were bad kids, how they knocked him out, interrupted his sleep and so on, all in gibberish. Yakko just smirked and looked at Wakko, who nodded in understanding. The little brother brought out a big mallet and flattened the ranting babysitter like a pancake. For an added detail, "#1" was engraved on the mallet's hammer's side.
The Warner Brothers gave each other a thumbs up and a bright smile, seemingly proud of themselves. The film irises out and the "the end" screen fades in with some triumphant music coming with it before the film finally ended.
The Warners back in the present whistled and cheered happily at their own work, with Wakko's bowl of popcorn not only empty, but having a bite taken out of it as well.
"Now that was a riot!" Yakko said proudly, hopping out of his seat.
"He didn't get brain damage from that ball, did he?" Dot asked curiously.
"Nah, all he forgot was what 9 times 5 equaled and what shoes went with which pants." Yakko assured her, to which Dot responded with a simple "Oh, okay!".
"You think we got time for one more film?" Wakko asked eagerly.
"Depends, you actually gonna have some popcorn left when it's done?" Yakko responded.
Wakko shook his head no. "Then yes we do!" Yakko said happily as he took the old film out and put the third and final one in. "The rule of three is such a nice thing to remember, isn't it?" He said to the other sibs, who nodded in agreement. Yakko made sure to save the best for last.
"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Wakko repeated as he bounced up and down all over the place. Once the Warners were back in their seats and the film ready, the older brother flipped on the projector once more to start it.
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
"Rocky Mountain Warners", from 1937
The film begins with a big mountain landscape with the sun bright and high in the sky. The air was cool, the day was young, it was perfect mountain climbing weather. A big mountain-climbing man dressed in winter clothing came out of a store at the mountain's base, having gotten all of his supplies and was ready to conquer those rocky spires. Soon after however, he waved his hand at someone back in the store. There, the three titular Warner Brothers and Sister start to exit the store too, coming out while carrying a great amount of the workload needed to climb that mountain in a big sack. They were exerting so much effort before plopping the big bag down, panting a bit. The mountain man went back and wagged his finger at them, telling them to pick it back up and follow him up. They must've been his hired climbing assistants for the day.
Wakko frowned and rubbed his belly, he hadn't eaten anything for a while now. Yakko patted his head and brought some food out of the supply bag to give him, a double hamburger. The mountain man noticed and snatched the burger away, that was actually his. Wakko frowned at that, still hungry and patting his belly. Once they reached the base of the mountain and got a final tally of their supplies, they started the climb.
The supply bag was tied to the big mountain man via a rope around his waist, to make sure the Warners were still there. But five seconds into the climb and they were already gone, having already made their own camp complete with campfire. Yakko was strumming on a little guitar and Wakko and Dot were dancing around the fire. The mountain man scowled at them and yelled, pointing at the mountain to tell them to get up and keep climbing.
After a considerable distance up the mountain, enough to where they were starting to see snow, the man asked for his food to eat to keep his energy up. Wakko decided to oblige and give him something, and the man was too focused on climbing to notice it wasn't his food. He ended up biting into a snowball and got "cold mouth". He spits it out and breathes into his mitten-covered hands to warm it back up, glaring at the Warners.
They all shrugged, but Wakko had the real food and ate it in one bite. The man grew angry at seeing that blatant disrespect and grabbed the middle sibling, holding him upside down by his feet to get his burger back. A lot of stuff fell out of him such as a cow, a tire, a few ducks, a horn and a turkey all from Wakko's red hat, but no burger.
The man scowled and held out his hand to give back the burger, which the middle sibling had kept held in his mouth. Wakko took it out of his mouth and put it right into the man's awaiting hand, making him all grossed out as he tossed the food away, making Dot and Yakko laugh. The man scowled and shook his hands at them, but thought it wasn't worth it as they decided to make camp where they were.
Yakko brought out the guitar again and started strumming a tune for a few seconds before it was taken by the man, telling the siblings to make it themselves with the supply and stop being lazy. Wakko got into the bag first and got into the sleeping bags and tent, gnawing on one of the rolled-up sleeping bags out of hunger. The man got angry again and tried to pull it away to no avail, the middle sibling's jaw's grip was like iron. After a minute of tug-o-war, Wakko finally let go and the bag got into Dot's hands.
She smiled innocently and decided to toss it over to Yakko nearby, to which the man went after him now. Yakko tossed it back to Wakko who caught it in his mouth before throwing it back to Dot and the man was running from sibling to sibling trying to get it to no avail. It was like playing "Monkey in the Middle", they thought it was such fun! He ended up getting tired and flopping onto the ground in front of Wakko who ended up eating the sleeping bag happily, patting his belly. Yakko and Dot applauded and shook hands with each other before the man got up all seething with rage, telling them to get back to climbing with him.
One fade-in and fade-out later, they were much higher up, the snow and cliffs getting more intense to go through. Mainly cause now the mountain man now had the bag on his back and the Warners were relaxing inside it, with Yakko once again strumming a tune inside like it was a camp inside of it. The climber, now seemingly getting more insane, removed the bag and started rifling through it to find the Warners. One emptied bag later, no Warners were in sight. He scowled and decided to continue his climb up the mountain, with no supplies and the snow wind hitting hard against him.
Once he reached the top of the mountain peak and cleared his eyes of all the snow, he had a flag in his hand to plant on the top as his proof that he finished the climb with or without the Warners so-called "help". But lo and behold, he saw those Warner siblings having a little picnic like nothing was going on, with Wakko having a big sandwich and Dot having a milkshake. The climber's eyes widened as he looked back at where he thought they were lower down the mountain, then back at where they actually were, double-taking several times. It felt like he was losing his mind, as Yakko offered him an apple oh-so-innocently. Dot then snagged the flag from the climber's hand and re-drawn it to have the three Warners' heads on them, planting it onto the peak themselves.
The man let out a loud scream of frustration with blaring horns accompanying it as music, throwing down his winter hat and jumped on it over and over, he had enough of them as he rambled and grumbled angrily at what he went through, and not even getting to plant his flag on the peak. Just as he was about to grab the Warners and kick them off the mountain, there was some rumbling being heard. The man's tantrum must've triggered the beginnings of an avalanche! The Warners hopped off as the snow gave way under the climber's feet. He screamed as he was taken away by the snow-slide while the Warners were riding it down with sleds. They raced each other down the mountain and jumped between their sleds and the climber's head every so often until they finally reached the bottom. Yakko ended up finishing first, then Dot, then Wakko as the avalanche stopped at the store where they started the climb.
The siblings hopped off their sleds and happily cheered, wanting to do that again as the climber popped his head out of the snow. He was dazed, his hair was a mess and was covered in cold snow. The Warner Brothers and Sister saw him and hugged him, all three looking at him eagerly to see if they can climb it again. The mountain climber screamed and burst out of the snow, running as far as he could away from those crazy kids, down the path he came from.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot looked at each other and shrugged, deciding to get a supply bag of their own to start their own climb by themselves. Then the brothers saw a gorgeous woman walk in that wanted to climb as well, and they immediately got love-struck like they always do, both hopping into her arms and eager to be her climbing assistants now.
Dot gave an "oh brother" look and rolled her eyes at the audience. The film irises out and the "the end" screen fades in with some triumphant music coming with it before the film ended.
"Wa-hoo! That was amazing!" Wakko said happily, jumping in his seat as we cut back to present times.
"I'm still amazed how much snow they got on the set!" Dot added with applause. "And how well my make-up fared in the cold." She added proudly.
"Who said it was a set?" Yakko said with a smirk, with both siblings going "Ohhh.".
"And that was our first and last time we were ever allowed on a mountain." Yakko added with a smile himself. Wakko and Dot hopped out of their seats, wondering if there was more to watch. But alas, it was getting late as the film was rewound and put back into its canister.
Meanwhile, Plotz and Ralph had heard the loud commotion and were climbing up the water tower ladder to see what was happening in there. Hearing the steps, the Warners rushed with breakneck speed to clean everything up and put everything back, so fast that by the time the C.E.O. and guard opened the tower door, the Warners were all asleep in their triple-bunk beds, like there never was a "Movie Night".
Plotz grumbled something about "those blasted kids", seemingly unaware that they had gotten some of their stored films back. He shuts the door after a few seconds of looking with Ralph. Yakko then takes the time to wake up briefly to smile and wink at the readers before falling back asleep, fading to black right after.
Ending line of the day from the Tower: Wakko: "Wanna watch me play 'The Nutcracker' with my nose?" Yakko and Dot in unison: "Trust us, don't."
Author's note: Whew, alright, finally got this done. Just a little idea I had after seeing a play-through of "Animaniacs: A Gigantic Adventure" by kanodoom, to see how the Warners' other cartoons way back when would've been like since they're largely left a mystery on the show. I actually may end up putting this story into chapters instead of making them into separate stories, or even mix one of them into a future story, who knows?