Disclaimer: The wonderful world of Harry Potter does not belong to me!

A/N: So this drabble is nothing more than a random, bizarre conversation that popped into my head about half an hour ago, but I felt the need to throw it down...So if you bother to read it, please leave a comment or two – I'm very curious to hear what you folks think of this madness. o.O

A PIECE OF PADFOOT'S HEART

"Oh, really now, Padfoot, that is just too morbid."

"Remus is right, mate, that's disgusting. Why in the world – ?"

"I don't even know what it means..."

"Vena Cava, Peter. It's a vein in the heart."

"Oh. Gross."

"No, no, a vein in the heart, see? Like she's a piece of my heart? I thought it'd be cute, you know, endearing –"

"Or horribly, horribly wrong. Who in their right minds would name their pet after a bloody organ?"

"Bloody. Ha. Good one, Moony."

"You're an idiot, Pete. But honestly, Padfoot, if you're naming owls after anatomical parts, you might go for something a bit more easily identifiable. Like 'liver', or 'bladder', or – or 'toenail'...at least people know what those mean."

"Yeah, speaking of which, how do you know what that means, Sirius?"

"Well, I was trying to think up names...so, uh, Lily helped me."

"Lily? My Lily?"

"Do you know any other girl by the name of Lily in this school?"

"Well, you never know, it could have been an imposter..."

"Yes, James. It was your Lily."

"Oh. Well, in that case...you know, now that I think about it, it actually is a decent name..."

"Don't be ridiculous, Prongs, it's awful. You, my friend, are just thoroughly whipped."

"..."

"Well, now that you all have utterly maligned my creative enterprises –"

"– Lily's creative enterprises –"

"Which are repulsive any way you look at them, James, so why does it even matter?"

"Eh, good point."

"– As I was saying, now that you lot have totally and completely ripped apart the fruit of at least twenty minutes' intense and laborious contemplation...What do you propose I name my owl?"

"Uhm –"

"Er –"

"I think, maybe, uhh..."

"How about...how about, uhm...how about Hooty?"

"Oh, that'd be swell, Pete. Then Padfoot could give his owl a 'cute and endearing' name, without the security of at least being able to say that he didn't know what it meant – you know, just in case the idea of a cuddly name for a sixteen-year-old boy's owl didn't go over too well with the rest of Hogwarts."

"But he does know what it means."

"I think you just missed Moony's point, Peter."

"You know what, Prongs, as it is, you and Moony really ought to lay off Pete. For two people who are so opposed to my choice of a name, you sure don't seem to have come up with anything better yourselves."

"Oh, well how 'bout – uh, maybe...Flapper?"

"Or, ah...Squawk?"

"And you say I'm pathetic."

"You know, I did have a few other names in mind before Lily offered to help..."

"Like?"

"Well, uhh...I did consider 'Dragonbait' – whatcha think of that?"

"..."

"That's still wholly revolting, Padfoot."

"Something is terribly, terribly wrong with you."

"Ah, yes, so I've heard. But at least people will know what it means, right?"

"..."

"..."

"A'ight then. Dragonbait it is."

"So much for calling her a piece of your heart."