Wincest? NOOO!

Prologue: In which Mary-Sues plot.

Disclaimer: All Supernatural charries are not mine, only my OC's. All username's used in story are made-up and not based on any SN fan or user. All clubs are likewise, unless mentioned otherwise. And places.

Dedicated to my pal, who will be named next chappie.

It should have been a full moon that night, hell a crescent moon would have done. Something dark and/or mysterious, to give some clue to hapless Dean Winchester what nefarious plans that the members of the Wincest Club faction of SN Fans United had planned for him. In the shadows of Moony's Bar, Cercera City, they watched, and waited…

"Hey baby," Dean gave the petite blonde waitress a cocky smile as he ordered another drink, "How about you and me get to know each other a bit better, outside of a professional relationship?" He felt proud of himself, there had to be at least 4 syllables in one of those words; Sammy wasn't the only one with smarts in this family!

"Damn, Dean," Sam muttered from his laptop-dominated bar table, "Lots of syllables for so short a guy."

"Shut up, shotgun. Not my fault that you can't get laid by hot chicks like me." Dean smiled, slipping the waitress his number. She picked it up, quickly tucking it into her bra before the boss saw her, then blushed.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Whatever, Dean. I'm going home." He closed the notebook, slipping it into a leather, satchel-like bag he had bought especially to protect it. He slung it over his shoulders, taking his dignified leave.

Dean neatly drank the vodka on the rocks belonging to the man next to him, (earning a 'HEY!' from said man) and went after his little Emo bro. In an hour or so anyway.

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Three girls stood in the alleyway behind the bar, plotting in a dastardly fashion in a way I'm not entirely comfortable. With which I'm not entirely comfortable.

One was tall and thin and too pale for anyone whose not an albino, with large… Assets that were completely out of proportion to her body, with long fingers, legs and hair, which was blonde, and these freaking HUGE overly sparkly violet eyes.

The other was basically the same, except with brown hair and grey eyes that 'sparkled with the cascading beauty of a diamond waterfall' which is probably kind of painful to look at in a bright room.

The other was different, with dark red hair down to her shoulder blades as opposed to her arse like the others and had way too much eyeliner and black on her 'sensuously curvaceous body which captured the lust of all men'. Except the ugly ones apparently, or the ones with above room temperature IQ's.

This one was obviously in charge, judging by her hideously leetspoken orders; "Lyk, OMG, Mary! W¦-¦+ w!11 w3 d0 w!+¦-¦ 5/\/\/\/\y?"

Erm, yeah. Let's see… My trusty L33t Trns1at0r, sorry, Leet Translator 5000-and-a-half will soon make that readable…

Like, oh my god, Mary! What will we do with Sammy?"

Much better, no?

"Like, I don't know, Sue!" The blonde one, apparently named Mary replied, wringing her hands in a petite fashion, her vile shrieking voice unmatched in beauty by any exquisite performed musical masterpiece.

Says a lot for the music industry, doesn't it?

"Can't we feel, like, him up, just a little?!" The brunette begged, clasping her own petite hands which are actually really long so that's just a stupid description, and falling to her knees. Then jumping up with another heavenly shriek as she dirtied her not-flirty but somehow still as-slutty-as Paris-and-Britney dress in the toxic cigarette ashes and stale beer paste that made up the ground.

"Sue-Ella! That dress is soooo gorgeous!"

"It's Sue-Ella Raindrop Moonflower, actually!" Sue-Ella, just call her Ella, said in her sweet, snappish tones.

Every sentence this girl makes ended in '!' and I'm getting a headache just writing this.

"Well, I'm Susanna Tigerheart Diamond!"

"I'm Mary O'Reilly, I mean, I'm Marianna Beautifica Jewelbeam Sunstone!"

"Like, he's coming!"

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Dean walked back to the motel, jamming to Metallica that only he could hear. Or at least, he was.

One minute he was strolling along in his own uber-sexy Dean way, and the next…

"Get 'im, Sues!"

"The fck?! GET OFF ME, YOU HELLBTCHES!"

THE BAG! THE BAG!"

"DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"

THUMP.

And so endeth the prologue, and starteth the beginning anon of a new chapter while I can still write good, which is rare. Eth.