Author's Notes: This is my second foray into fan-fiction. I am planning on making this Hermione/Draco around 20 chapters. I hope you enjoy and please review.

-Stephanie

November 28, 2006

The Diary

Draco Malfoy's eyelids fluttered and his body quivered under his green satin sheets. His mind was immersed in yet another nightmare of what was yet to come. He was standing, shirtless in an icy room with masked figures surrounding him. The tallest one had his back turned to him, but he could guess who it was. His father was looming over him and his grey eyes were glinting with something that could resemble pride if his father was anyone other that Lucius Malfoy who was incapable of feeling anything. Lucius curved his mouth to form the words "It's time for you to take your mark now Draco. You will make me proud and join the dark lord, no excuses this time."

Draco was forced into a kneeling position and his kneecaps bruised on the smooth stone floor. The tallest man finally turned around and his cruel red eyes gleamed with anticipation as he took out his thin black wand. He looked at Draco with a superior air as he walked smoothly around him in ease. "I see you have finally come to me……Draco Malfoy. How long I have waited for this day. To crown the young Malfoy a deatheater. Give me your arm." He said in a high cold voice that made Draco's blood boil and chilled his bones to the marrow. He longed to spit in this mans face and tell him how he loathed to be here, how his father had beaten him within an inch of his life if he did not comply, but he didn't. He obediently held out his arm, sickened with himself. Voldemort took Draco's slender arm in his large pale fingers and pressed his wanted up against Draco's forearm. A blazing red skull with a serpent protruding out of the mouth appeared, scarring him as Draco suddenly woke up.

His eyes flashed opened and he took great gulping breaths of air, trying to calm himself from the nightmare he had suffered many times. His body was drenched in icy sweat and his silvery blonde hair was plastered to his pale face. He trembled as he pulled himself out of bed and stepped onto the cold cherry wood floors that his father preferred. The air was so cold he could have seen his breath in it if he had cared to try. He shivered as he walked swiftly towards the bathroom to take a hot shower and try and wash away the dreams that haunted him.

Draco turned on the switch that heated the smooth milky white marble of the bathroom as he walked in. This was probably the only warm thing about the house at the moment. He sighed as the heat seeped into his bare feet and warmth inched up the rest of his body. Draco went and stood in front of the huge floor length mirror and looked himself over. He smirked and thought ironically Well Lucius you did give me one good thing, my looks. It was true; Draco Malfoy was indeed a beautiful work of art. He wasn't crude and boyish but his face had an aristocratic beauty to it with his grey eyes, slanted blonde eyebrows and piercing cheek bones. His body was lean and muscular and his skin was flawless and milky white. Draco was the Slytherin prince and most of the girls at Hogwarts would give anything to spend a night with him. His reputation with the girls was legend, but what people didn't know was that none of it was true. Draco Malfoy was actually a virgin, funny as that was. He just didn't care for those simpering soulless Slytherin girls, like that pug-faced Pansy Parkinson that his father kept trying to set him up with. She repulsed him no matter how pure her blood was. He gave a humorless laugh, and shook his slivery blonde hair out of his eyes.

Fuck that Pansy Parkinson pig. If she tries to seduce me one more time…He thought savagely as he stepped into the marble shower. The water steamed down onto his smooth muscled back and he threw his head back in satisfaction. Slowly and unconsciously thoughts of another woman started to seep into his mind. Thoughts of a forbidden girl. Thoughts that he would never share with anyone else. Thoughts that he was repulsed by and despised himself for. She was Hermione Granger. Hermione Granger the filthy mudblood whore. He didn't know why he was attracted to her. It was probably because he couldn't have her and because she was unmarked territory. Her smooth skin had never felt the touch of a man, no one had ever run there fingers through her hair in passion or kissed her warm lips seductively…. What the hell are you thinking? He chastised himself. She is dirty and impure and you can never have her.

He groaned as he stepped out of the shower, dreading later on that afternoon when he was required to have lunch with his father. Christmas lunch actually, he suddenly remembered. I didn't even look at my presents, not that their anything good. He performed a drying charm on himself, wrapped a black town around his slim waist and stepped back into his frigid bedroom. Hasn't my father heard of heat? He thought grimly.

Draco walked over to his extravagant closet to pick out something to wear. He hated staying in his pajamas for longer than 5 minutes after he had woken up. He picked out a black Gucci suit to wear with a green Armani shirt. His father had taught him one thing about clothing Muggles may be fools but they do have style. He had countless suits and designer jeans, jackets and buttons up shirts in a rainbow of colors. Draco went back to the bathroom and looked over himself haughtily. The clothes were tailor-made and fit his body perfectly. He had finally stopped slicking back his hair, and it hung in silky blonde strands past his ears and into his grey eyes.

A small stack of presents was sparkling at the foot of his bed when he walked out of the bathroom. He had never really enjoyed Christmas all the much. It was just a time of the year the he had to pretend like he liked his father. Draco lazily ripped off the wrapping paper of the first present and snorted. More designer clothes from his mother. He had enough of that. He would thank his mother though; she was just trying to be kind. The next few presents were a foray of items including shoes, more and more clothes, a couple of books, and a broomstick which was actually something useful. It was a Steamrod II, which was a ridiculously expensive broom that was hand crafted and imported from Italy. Its abilities even outstripped that of the infamous Firebolt and Draco smirked at the thought of Potter. He and Harry's animosity towards each other had actually cooled down considerably in the past year. They weren't exactly good friends but they were no longer throwing insults and hurling hexes in the hallways either. They had both matured a great deal and had sort of reached a silent agreement that it wasn't worth all the trouble to be such intense enemies. Draco still did not like the thought of pathetic Potter beating him at quiditch though and would enjoy using his new broom against him.

Draco stretched languidly and was about to leave when he spotted a small square package in the corner that he must have missed before. He picked it up and his eyes sparked with interest when he saw that it had no tag and was from an anonymous giver. He slowly peeled off the silver wrapper to reveal a small leather bound book. Draco looked at it suspiciously as he ran his fingers over it. The book seemed as if it held some old long forgotten magic. He opened it to find a note written in loopy cramped writing that he didn't recognize. The note read "Draco Malfoy. Use this diary wisely." He sighed and set the diary down on his shining wood desk for later use. Right now he had to go and meet his father and mother for dinner; you were never late at the Malfoy house. He went to the bathroom for last minute check and splashed some cologne on his neck. Readying himself for criticism from his father he strolled out and walked down the cold steps of the sweeping mahogany staircase towards the dining room. The Malfoy manor held nothing cheery or cozy; those two words were against his father's very essence. The walls held portraits of sneering haughty looking Malfoy ancestors and there were large iron statues on the cherry wood floors. Draco's black shoes echoed loudly as he walked towards the dining room where his mother was already seated.

Narcissa Malfoy really was beautiful. She was wearing expensive black dress pants and a creamy white sweater. Her blonde hair was falling in soft curls around her attractive face. She smiled at Draco, her eyes empty of all sparkle and told him to sit down at the large table. He sat in the middle, his mother and father at each end. His father liked to be at the head of the table where he felt powerful and in control.

Draco sat in silence staring around him in disgust at all the beautiful silverware and sparkling dishes. He hated all of it. All the glamour and riches his family possessed. It sickened him everyday to have to live in this wretched house with all its memories of his childhood. His father had never loved him, even when he was little he remembered his father telling him what a disappointment he was. Draco had been a small child and his father had hated him for it.

He remembered once when he was 4 years old, his mother had bought him a puppy. Narcissa used to love him but she had always been held back by fear of Lucius. The puppy was a small black lab named Abby and Draco had loved her. He had played with her everyday in there huge backyard until one day Lucius saw him outpouring his affection for the puppy and decided to end this sign of weakness. He took the puppy from Draco and dragged it to the lake, Draco crying and running behind him telling him to let Marlow got. Lucius had held the puppy's squirming body underwater until it didn't move. "Affection is weakness Draco. Don't ever be weak." Lucius had said before walking away and leaving Draco crying over his dead puppy's lifeless body.

Draco had hated him from that day on. He hated him for taking away the one thing that he had loved and had loved him back. The sound of clicking dress shoes on hardwood broke Draco away from this train of thought and he looked up to see the handsome face of his father. Lucius was dressed it a tailored suit as well and his shoulder length blonde hair was shining with care. Draco hated him. Every inch of him and he hated himself for what he was to become.

Lucius took a seat at his usual spot and looked around at his wife and son. "Good to see you're not late again Draco." He said smoothly.

Draco inclined his head and said politely "Yes father, I was on time like I told you I would be. Thank you for the Streamrod II and thank you mother for the clothes."

His mother smiled that empty smile again and then returned to staring off in space.

"You're welcome Draco. I must say that you do need it. Your flying was abysmal last year." He said giving Draco an amused "say something if you dare" look that he knew would go unchallenged.

Draco's jaw clenched with a held back retort but he inclined his head and said nothing.

Lunch was served and they at the meal in mostly silence with nothing unusual happening until the end.

"I would like you to meet me in my study after lunch. We have some things to discuss." He said to Draco. Narcissa snapped out of her reverie and looked between her son and husband but like usual she said nothing.

Draco's heartbeat quickened and he guessed what it was about. "Yes father."

After dessert was served his father got up without a word and walked out and Draco obediently followed, dreading what was to come. His father led him into his richly decorated study. The walls were lined with books and the floor was carpeted with an Italian rug of a burgundy and navy design. Lucius sat down at his gleaming cherry wood desk and nodded his head for Draco to take a seat as well.

"I believe you know why you are here Draco. You will be seventeen in a month and it is time you took the dark mark. You need to pledge your allegiance to the dark lord before he becomes suspicious of you. He is already wondering why you haven't done this sooner. I have made excuses for you, telling him that you are small and weak and have been rather sickly lately." His father smiled grimly at him, letting his insults sink in.

Draco was shaking with rage. He would not do it. He was not going to let his father control his life this time. He was sick and tired of listening to that bastard. For the first time in years Draco defied his father. "I won't do it." He said stoically.

Lucius face contorted into fury as he snarled in a quietly seething voice. "What did you say to me?"

"I said I won't do it." Draco was holding his ground this time.

Lucius suddenly stood up from his desk, pulled out his wand and shouted "Incarcerous"

Thick robes bound Draco's hands and legs before he had time to react. His walked smoothly over to him and shoved him to his knees, his back to him. He ripped off his blazer and shirts exposing his pale, scarred back. The only part of Draco Malfoy that held a flaw.

"I will teach you to defy your father." Lucius said as he pulled out a worn, dark leather whip. The whip had thick leather tips on it used for beating Draco when he was a child.

Draco didn't make a sound as his father beat him. The whip struck him and sliced into his skin, but he did let a gasp escape his mouth. Hot blood was running down his back and dripping onto the floor before his father finally stopped. He unbound Draco and yanked him to his feet.

"That should teach you a lesson. Wait in your room and we will discuss this later." Lucius spat. He was panting and his eyes were dancing with a sick pleasure at causing another person pain.

Draco said nothing as he walked out of his fathers study towards his room. His back was aching with numerous cuts and he lay down on his bed thinking about what had just occurred. He knew his father would come back for him, demanding and answer. He would have no choice but to obey. Draco wanted to scream in frustration. He ripped himself from the bed and started pacing when he saw the diary sitting there. He felt a tingle in his arm, as if the diary was calling and tempting him to write in it.

With a slightly cautious air, Draco picked up an eagle feather quill, dipped the end generously in black ink and started writing. Before he knew it he had filled up four pages with his thoughts. The diary seemed to drink in his emotions as he poured out his troubles. He wrote about his father, having to receive the dark mark, and he even wrote about the unwonted images of Hermione that kept flashing up in his head at random moments. All the hopelessness that had been welling up inside of him for the past few days was released into the blank pages. When he had finally finished Draco felt exhausted. He felt as if he had run for miles and his body was drained of energy.

Slipping of his pants he lay gingerly on his stomach and tried to sleep. It did not come quickly. Draco lay there on his silk sheets for hours, pondering what his father had told him. Maybe it was destiny to end up like his bastard of a father? Did he really have any choice in the matter? No. He didn't want to think like that. He was not his father and would not allow himself to be forced into a life he didn't want to accept. Draco wasn't evil. With these slightly more pleasant thoughts Draco was allowed to fall into a light sleep.

His dreams were strange that night. He didn't have his normal nightmare about joining Voldemort but instead he found himself in the garden at Hogwarts. A beautiful voice that gave him goose bumps and seemed to make his heart shiver was weaving melodies through the air. He kept chasing the voice, looking everywhere for it but as soon as he thought he came near the source, it would flit away like a shadow, out of his snatch. He wandered the garden aimlessly; looking among the flowers desperately for the origin of the enchanting voice but it was to no avail. The melody was far too fast for him and try as he might, it always outwitted him.

Draco awoke that morning to find himself warm and comfortable for the first time in ages, and surprisingly not drenched in usual layer of icy cold sweat. He sighed, taking in his pleasant dream before opening his eyes and blinking in shock.

Lying there beside him was the peacefully sleeping form of Hermione Granger.