A/N: I just discovered a few days (or weeks) ago that Emma Thompson (Sybill Trelawney)'s ex-husband is Kenneth Branagh (Gilderoy Lockhart). And later did I found out that our Kenneth here was Dr. Loveless in "the Wild Wild West" and Hamlet in the movie version of the play (screenplay and directed by him). So, I had this crazy idea of 'what if the two actors got an "affair" as they shot the movie and their characters were affected'?

Disclaimer: Nope, my initials don't have the letters J, K, or R in it. Oh how I wish I own Snape and Hooch… and the other characters as well.

Careless Whispher

Chapter1: Rolanda's meddling

Rolanda slumped hard on the sofa near the fireplace. "Augh!"

"What happened to you?" Minerva asked as she sat beside the flight instructor.

"Yeah. It's just the first week of classes. Brownie?" Pomona offered a plate of brownies to the other professors. The two took a slice.

"Mwrajwrwyradrgsrwrot" Rolanda swallowed the brownies so that she could speak clearly. "it's just that that glittery idiot" she tried hard not to choke, " flirted with me this morning" She did a mock gagging.

"Ewe." The two said in a chorus as they munched to another piece of brownie.

"I know right? I was walking out to the Quidditch pitch when he grabbed me by the hand and pulled me to him. He called me 'doll face' so I pulled out. I accidentally noticed his lips were shiny. And then I thought, 'Oh god, he's wearing a bloody lipgloss!'. He must've noticed me staring at him and then he licked his *shudders* lips. And then he said 'Strawberry. Wanna taste?'. Oooh, that idiot… I grabbed my wand and hexed him."

"Oh, so that's why he's spending the whole day with Poppy."

"Pomona, what the heck is that you're drinking?" Minerva asked as she grabbed the glass from Pomona's hands and then sniffed it.

"It's cranberry. I got a package this morning from a past student. He said muggles love drinking it."

Just then, the three heard the door open and saw Sybill enter. Sybill gazed at all the staff in the room as they looked at her, and took a seat on her corner. There was a corner in the staff room that was dedicated to her so that she would meditate in controlling her 'inner eye'.

"I feel bad for that old twit. She never had any relationship with anybody besides her parents and siblings."

"Rolanda, you perfectly know that Sybill is a sweet witch and is just trying to adjust with the new set of students that are ready to torment her."

Rolanda snorted. "Pfffft. More like she's confused."

"I wonder if she ever had any lovers before." Pomona grabbed the bottle with dark red liquid and poured it to her glass. She saw the two other witches looked at her, smiles creeping on their faces. "What?" She saw their arching lips grew wider, more like an evil grin, especially on the flight instructor's face. "Oh no. I know that grin and this is not good. I can feel it."

"I think I know what to do with Lockhart." Rolanda's smile could make any slytherin, even Dolohov cry.

"Oh, is that what you're thinking, Ro? I thought you smiled too because Filius just went in here, wearing Pomona's bra on his head."

"He what?" Pomona looked around and saw that her husband is wearing one of her underwear on his head and is dancing with his hands in the air. "Filius!" She stood up and took care of the embarrassing situation.

Ro tried to imitate the Herbology professor's sweet accent. "Well, that was funny. Maybe Filius thought it would be funny to try on the overlarged twin cups on his head!" She laughed heartily.

Minerva joined Rolanda's laughter and soon the whole staff room was laughing at the charms professor being untangled from his wife's undergarment. After a few over-the-top laughing session, Minerva recalled what her friend have mentioned.

"So, about that idiot… What are you planning to do with him?"

"Well, after realizing how miserable it must be to be Sybill over there, I thought of making her a little happy tonight."

"I thought that you're planning something on Lockhart?"

"Min, you know, sometimes you're being slow. Age must be getting on you, eh?"

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. " Minerva rolled her eyes as she realized what she meant. "It's a good thing it's Friday. But how are you going to do that, and tonight?"

"Just wait and see." Rolanda stood up from the couch and spoke with authority. "Hey guys, Three Broomsticks, tonight. My treat. And yes, I'm not kidding."

A/N2:So yeah, yeah. I'm no good at writing. At least I enjoyed thinking about a plot after accidentally hearing the song.

Severus was still doing a potion so he was not in the staff room until it was time to go to the Three Broomsticks.

R&R! Reviews are greatly appreciated.

It's my second one, and hopefully, I would update this tomorrow. I have a lot of chemistry work to do.