Chapter 1: Oh, Shit!

BPOV:

I was totally kicking Emmett's ass in "Black Ops", while the rest of the family was lounging around house going about their usual activities.

"Pwned." I said.

"No far! Rematch!" Emmett yelled.

"Why? You wanna loose again?" I said.

"NO!" He declared. Before we could restart the game, Carlisle called the family to go to the dinning room. Why do we even have a dinning room?

"Race you there Em?" I asked.

"You're so on lil sis!"

"Count of three?"

"One…two…"

"THREE!" Emmett yelled and took off.

"HEY!" I called after him, running at top speed to catch up to him. I made it three seconds before Emmett.

"Beat you again."

"Only 'cause I was going easy on you squirt." Emmett said trying to hide his grumpiness at losing to me for the 50th time today.

Once everyone had entered the room, we all sat down.

"Okay kids I have some news. You're all going back to school!" Carlisle stated happily…wait he's happy…does he want to get rid of us?

"What?" I exclaimed. I was just starting to get to spend time with Edward and the rest of the family. It wasn't fair.

"Why do we have to go to school?" Rosalie asked.

"Well, we all know why you need to go Rosalie. You need to get a brain." Alice said, still mad from the fight they had gotten into a few days ago. Rose just glared at her.

"No Alice, it is because we need to keep up the appearance of a normal family. As normal as we can seem anyways." Carlisle said.

"Can't we pretend to be home schooled?" I asked.

"No because that's not very common and we have to be normal. Understand?"

"I guess…" I mumbled and Edward gave me a half hug. Alice looked confused.

"What don't you get?" Carlisle asked.

"Nothing daddy, I understand."

"Really Alice you understand?"

"Yes, I understand that Rosalie needs a brain."

"Okay Alice. We get it; you think Rose needs a brain." Esme said.

"Yes I Do." Alice said trilled. Rose is going to kill her…again. I can't wait to see what type of revenge Rosalie has planed.

"Does anyone else have any other comments about Rosalie needing a brian?" Esme asked. Rose looked shocked and mouthed the word 'what' before her mouth dropped open.

"Oh come on! You all know you agree with me." Alice stated. Here come the treats.

"Bella, say she needs a brain and I won't play Bella Barbie for two years." Ali said. This is a dream come true!

"Bella, side with me and I'll get you a puppy, and make sure she doesn't play Bella Barbie for a century." A century and puppy! AHH!

"She doesn't know what a century is. And I just might know when that knew club in Vegas opens."

I'm so excited. I'd wanted to go to that club since I heard it was going to open.

"I know what a century is. And I know were to get a zip line."

"Motorcycle."

"Four wheeler."

"Snowmobile"

"House party." Damn they sure can bribe.

"Okay you two stop. You're not going to bribe her." Edward said. He is such a party pooper.

"Yes, they are and Snoop Dog's winning."

"Paintball gun and target practice on Edwards head." Rosalie offered.

"Rosalie you can't bribe her." Edward said, frustrated.

"But I like her bribes. She's good at it!"

"Bella, he's right." Pixie said.

"I am?"

"He is?" I asked.

"Yes, Rosalie can't bribe you because she doesn't have a brain."

"Take my Rosie's side and I'll drink a bottle of ketchup." Emmett joined in the bribing.

"You can't bribe like that; she's not 5." Jasper said.

"I'll drink six jars of maple syrup, three tubs of melted butter, and five bottles of ketchup."

"Deal!"

10 minutes later…

Emmett finished off the last of the ketchup. He looked like he was going to puke…not that he can, though.

"Snoop dog has a brain."

"I'll double his bribe and add dog pee if you take that back." Alice said instantly. Does she really want to go through what Em just went through?

"I'll triple it." Emmett said when Rosalie glared at him to defend her again.

"Quadruple."

"Quintuple."

"No such thing." Pixie argueed.

"There is to. It means five!"

"Okay that's enough. Now, as I was saying, Jasper and Rose, you guys are going to be twins; Alice and Edward same with you two; Emmett and Bella twins as well."

Wait a minute… twins! Are they trying to ruin my non-existent life?

"No! I don't want to be his sister. Are you trying to ruin my life! First, I have to go to school and now I have to be my brother's sister! What's wrong with you people? That's just sick!" I yelled.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Emmett, I just don't want to pose as his birth sister; especially not my first time in high school as a vampire.

"Why do I have to be his sister?"

"Hey I drink random shit and this is the thanks I get?"

"You offered to do it."

"So what it still counts."

"No it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes it does."

"No. It. Doesn't." I gave Emmett a Rosalie like glare and leaned in towards him to seem more intimidating; which is difficult considering it is Emmett.

"That is exactly why you two are going to be siblings. You look alike and act like brother and sister" Esme said.

"Yes because it makes so much sense to be siblings if you look alike." I said.

"Belsy we're family and you're my twin! This is going to be so much fun!" Emmett cheered. Maybe 'happy-go-lucky' here should join the cheerleading team.

What did I do to deserve this? I've always been a good little vampire. Well, except for maybe that one time I crashed the car just to see how it would feel like to be in a car crash. Or maybe that other time I wrecked the hotel room because I knew we could pay for the damages. Then there was the time I stole a forklift and broke down one of the walls of the house with Emmett. And there was that other time with the baseball bat… ok, so maybe I haven't been the greatest vampire, but I didn't do anything bad enough to deserve this.

He always acted so immature and pulled dumb pranks in class. I may be a little immature but at least my pranks aren't ammature.

"Esme…I really don't want to be his sister for the next two years." I said.

"Actually, honey, it's going to be the next three years."

"WHAT?"

"You're all 16." Carlisle said.

I ran over and got on my knees and started begging.

"Please don't make go to school. I hate school. That's why I dropped out."

Then I started pouting. No one can resist my pout. And when it comes to Carlisle, extreme measures need to be taken sometimes.

Carlisle just looked at me, shaking his head and Edward interrupted my silent pleading. "Um…baby, you dropped out because you became a vampire."

I turned around in his arms and looked up at him, doing the same pout I had used on Carlisle. "But we both know I would have dropped out anyways Edward. Or I'd probably have been kicked out considering how much the teachers hated me."

"The teachers didn't hate you."

"Did to!"

"Well Maybe if stoped causeing Shit school be a hell of a lot easier."

"Shut up! BTWS that doesn't explain detention."

"or suspention." Emmy murmerd

"Because you ditched detention crushed chock and put it in their coffie. Oh don't forget about history class."

"Sew me for making it fun."

"Fun? "

"When I say fun I don't mean for the teachers." I said smirking. He shuddered at the memmery. Oooh I'm bad.

"If we go to school I want to have ADHD." I said changing the topic.

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"So I don't have to do homework and can get a way with anything."

"You can't do that."

"Actually, I know a way," Carlisle said. "But you're not getting away with it. If everyone else has to do work, so do you." My smile crumpled into a frown.

"Pwease." I said puppy pouting.

"I'll think about it."

"YAAAAAAAY!" Yay! He's thinking about it. That is so going to turn into a yes.

"When's school?" Jasper asked.

"Two weeks."

"Yay this will be so much fun. Oh mommy I want to be 45 minutes older because then I could boss her around and be her role model."

"A role model?" Rose asked.

"That means a person you look up to and want to be like." Alice said very slowly, looking at Rose pointedly. Now she's really gonna kill her. I 'm so exited. I might just pee myself.

"I know what it is I just don't know why he wants to be one."

"Because I am the bestest role model you can get! I inspire badness and how to go to jail." Em said looking super serious. He's never serious I'm screwed.

"I'd rather die!" I said slamming my head on the table.

"But Bella you're already dead" Emmett said.

"Again!" I yelled.

"Come on Bella lets go play more COD." Emmett said.

"No" Edward said.

"Why not?" Emmett questioned, "Who doesn't want to play COD?"

"Edward." I said.

"Whats wrong with COD?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"If you don't know then how am I suppose to know?"

"COD makes you violent and can damage your brain and."

"And your making shit up because you wanna have sex."

"What no I… I… um..uh.."

"You can't lie for shit. Come on Em let's go play BLACK OPS!."

"OK!"

"You really can't play Call Of Duty."

"COD."

"Why can't she play COD?"

"Ask Edward. He thinks he knows everything." I said, rolling his eyes at the end.

"Okay Eddie boy why can't she play COD?"

"She can't play COD because she's a kid. And I don't think I know everything. And don't call Eddie boy." Hehehe his so funny when he gets mad. His head is like woah.

"You do think you know everything and I am not a kid!" I said. Edward looked at me apologetically. I glared at him. I wasn't really that mad at him. But this is sooooooo much fun.

I let down my shield and thought no sex. Then I turned it on again.

"NOO!" he moaned. Every one looked at him curiously, and I just laughed.

"So back to the game?" Emmett grabbed me and started to drag me out of the room.

"No." Edward said and grabbed my legs. Any harder and my legs would have snapted off. I'm really surprised that I'm still in one piece.

Then Edward yelled, "Let go of my girl!" He looked like he was ready to rip Emmett's head off. Ok maybe he took the whole "no sex" thing seriously.

Oops. He deserved it.

"No. I'll only let go if you let her go play COD right now."

"Okay, Emmett I promise she can play war games happy." He said and let go.

"Very!" Emmy stopped for a sec.

"COD!" He yelled 10 seconds later.

"No!" Edward said.

"But you promised!"

"Well I … Arrrggh!"

"Oh would you too just shut up!" Rose groaned.

"Some ones Pmsing." Emmett muttered under his breath.

Then Emmett picked me up and through me over his shoulder and ran out of the room.

Halfway to the living room I said, "Emmett put me down I can walk."

"I know I just want to make sure your lover wouldn't steal you before COD."

"That's more stupider then when I crashed the car."

"Is not."

"Is to."

"Will those two ever grow up?" I heard Rose ask.

Then Emmett dropped me on the floor face first, and ran back to the room.

He stuck his head in the doorway and said, "We can't were vampires."

Smartass. Hey, that's my job no far! He skipped back like worse then Alice skip, picked me up and through me on the couch.

"Beat you again!"

"Rematch."

"Alright no more COD." Edward said. He really doesn't like calling it that. Somebody can't wait for sex.

"No! You're not the boss of me."

"You tell him sis. Stick it to the man."

"It's late Bella."

"What are you talking about its 2 am that's early Edward."

"Nice try no more cod."

"Ok fine." He looked so happy thinking he won.

"We'll play Hallo."

"Okay squirt whatever you want. 200 each win?"

"K"

"Will you ever stop being so stubborn and listen to me once in a while?"

"To much work to listen you don't get to your point quick enough."

"My point is no more games."

"Not fast enough."

"Just listen to me."

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure your sure?"

"Yes."

10 minutes later…

I'm soooooo kicking his ass.

"Rematch later now wrestling is on." He said turning on the tv.

"You're not watching wrestleling Bella."

"Your right… I'm not watching wrestling… I'm talking with an old dude."

"Very mature."

"Like your mature."

"You cant watch people fight each other."

"Y not you did it all the time."

"No I didn't."

"That's not Emmett said."

"UUUURG! What am I going to do with you."

"Edward let her do what she wants."

"Yeah Eddie keep the peace let her be." See happy go lucky should be a cheerleader.

"Alice who's side are you on."

"Mine." She said like it was obvious.

"Come on do something don't just play video games do something."

"I'm not gameing I am watching wrestleing. And I know you're only saying that because you want sex you pedophile!"

"I'm not a pedophile!"

"What ever gets you through the day."

"Urg!"

"And Alice says my Rosie is the one who needs a brain." Emmett said

"I know he is a pedophile."

AN HI peoples I don't own Notin. Ok so this fic is my peoples choice fic. So next chapter : a) car crash

b) Srached Porshe

c) pissed Emmy

d) All OF THE ABOVE!

Sry first fic and I honestly don't know if its funny so sry if in aint.

XOXO Officer Obious