AN Dis iiz mi stury. MI friend edited it 4 me. You're the best, Darry! AN: This is my story. My friend edited it for me. You're the best, Darry!

(Okay, this chick can't speak in complete sentences. This does not give me much hope for the future.)

BOOK 1: JO BELLE POTTER AND THE SORCERURS STON

Chapter 1: Dumbledore

Mi nam is Jo bele Susie lilee Puttr. Why do they insist on giving Mary-Sues ridiculously long names? I waz drupped uff at mi uncl and ants hose. wen I waz 3 da dark lurd volddenut killd mi parents. When you were three? Face, meet palm. I hope you have a long and happy life together. I used to hav a bruthr but he livs in engglnd. Oh, honestly. Just because he lives somewhere different to you does not mean that he is no longer your brother. What an idiot. Now mi ant in uncl in sutth carulia Where? razed me. Dey r abusive. Dey rap and hurt me. They rap you? Does that mean they make raps about you?

I hav durty blond hair, that hangs down to mi feet. Rapunzel, Rapunzel, cut off your hair before I do it for you. i hav dimond blu ies dat sparkl. Sometimes my eis are green or yellow.... I thought they were, and I quote, 'dimond blu ies dat sarkl'. (You have no idea how hard it was for me to write that.) OI *jerkes head up mid-snore* Wazzat? am super hot!111111111 Definitely a Mary-Sue then.

1 dae How…descriptive? I waz wlkin doewn da street nd I cm hom der was a ledder on da doorstep. I gspd!11111111111111 it sad hugwurts skill od wickraaf How the holy hell do you get that out of 'Witchcraft'? nd wizrdy. I tried to get it butt sdunely… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .. .. .. SO. MUCH. SUSPENSE.

A knif came me!111111111111111 Im fast thouh, so I caut it nd thru it bak at mi dum uncl. That's nice.

it hit him in da crocht That's even nicer. and he did. He did what? den antie Beatrice …Is this supposed to be Petunia or a completely new aunt? cam up. "U klld mi usbnd u freek!111111111111111" Oh you mean dead, not did. Why didn't you say dead? Oh yeah, because you are incapable of intelligent thought.

Hes nut ded.' I told hur. Den I wavd mi hnd n he cam bak to lif! No magic can bring back the dead, you…ludicrous fool! "Jpo bel!" he screemd

Mi ant thru me acruss the rume.\ I hit da wull nd nearly pasd out! But you didn't, because nothing can defeat a Mary-Sue!

"wuts dat letr u hav,' jo bel?" ant betric askd

"NOOO" Uncl sd. He's very nonchalant about his brush with death.

"I hut wed stuppd it!" ant betrik sad. I think they're upset she got her Hogwarts letter, but we all wish she hadn't got it.

"den unl grvaed be nd thruuu me acrss da rume. DEN DA DUR FLU OPEN!111111111.. ….. .. .. . . .. . Is this supposed to be Hagrid's big entrance?

An old man was der. Well that nice! Hagrid's not that old! He had a long blak beerd. He spok in an awsum suthurn bretesh axnt. "I am Pruffsr ALbis Peeter Quintin alexndr Dumbldur!111111111" he crid.

Dumbledore's beard is white.

It's Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. (I had to check the spellings, but…yeah.)

A flash uv litenin was seen oteside da durr. It lukeed lik mi scar. I hav a scar ov a litenn bult on mi 4hd. Oh doesn't this sound familiar.

Dumbldur sd. "Cum w/ me jo bel I hav ur bruthur."!1 I don't know whether to look forward to this or to be scared.

2 B CNTUUD! To be continued, indeed…